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9 Things Men Should Never Say To Women


If you know anything about women, you know that there are just some things that you should never say to them. Don’t worry, they brought this on themselves. They say they want men to open up to them, but we’ve got a history book full of stories about men who tried and failed miserably. They say they want the truth, but in reality, they can’t handle the truth. With that said, I jotted down a quick list to get some conversations moving on things men should never say to women.

1. “First off, calm down.” – If you want a woman to calm down, don’t ask her to calm down. I’ve never understood exactly why even when a woman is angry, frustrated, and worked up that doesn’t translate into needing to calm down, but it does.

2. “Are you serious right now?” – The short answer; of course she’s serious. The more in-depth answer; she probably wouldn’t have came to you with the issue if she didn’t want an answer. While all questions don’t warrant answers, that’s not an indication that she’s not serious. Try this,

“You have many questions, and although the process has altered your consciousness, you remain irrevocably human. Ergo, some of my answers you will understand, and some of them you will not. Concordantly, while your first question may be the most pertinent, you may or may not realize it is also the most irrelevant.”

3. “Before you get all emotional.” – Women are emotional beings, but they don’t like for men to diagnose them as emotional beings. They tell us that they are more capable of being nurturing and that they’re minds work differently than men, but the second you tell them that they’re getting emotional, you’sa lie.

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4. “I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.” – If women believe in, “delete, delete, delete,” I don’t see anything wrong with men who believe in “deny, deny, deny.” Even if that may be the case, I would tread lightly in ever explicitly denying any inkling of why she may be bringing this issue to the table. I usually like to counter with,

“Can you explain to me exactly what happened?” or “Can you please tell me who came to you with this information or how you found out?”

It’s almost the same thing, but it allows you to get more information before you totally dismiss her.

5. Repeating the question back to her. – The jig is up fellas, they figured out that we’re lying when we start repeating questions back to them. Her: Who is Keisha? Me: Who is Keisha?! That’s just our way of getting a good lie together in a tense situation.

6. Respond to her text message with… “OK.” – We are fully aware that this pisses women off, but we do it anyway. To be honest, women brought this on themselves, they get so angry when you don’t answer a text message and you don’t always have time to give an in-depth response. Personally, if you have time to write an essay via 4-5 text messages to me, I reserve the right to “ok” the text and move on with my day.

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7. Don’t respond to her text message. – If you really want to piss her off, just don’t respond to her text message. I used to be good for the, “It sounded like you were talking about a whole bunch and I didn’t get what you were talking about so I just didn’t respond.” Well, that and my never ending struggle with just not replying to text messages for days.

8. “Let me finish this game of Madden.” – Unless you have a really awesome and rad girlfriend who plays video games with you, don’t put off a human being for a video game. That’s how things get thrown in the crib. You can pause the game but you can’t pause the dame.

9. “You sound crazy.” – Regardless of the fact that women have a tendency to say things that don’t logically make any sense to anyone but themselves, you can’t use the word “crazy” when speaking with women. Articulate your thoughts a little better instead of saying “crazy” and explain exactly what you mean by that. For example,

“I get the feeling that you’ve been having this conversation in your head for much longer than you’ve been having it with me. Because of that, you’ve probably had many iterations of points in your head that have developed into what you’re communicating now. Can you back up and start over at a point where I can follow your thought process?”

That last one is good right? Yeah, I know, not really. Nonetheless, this is my list of things that you should never say, but what’s on your list? You can share your thoughts on this list and potentially add some of your pet peeves.

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Oh and… thank God it’s Friday!

– Dr. J


  1. #9 is the reason why some men found their clothes bleached, the house burnt, the dick cut (yes yes it happened)… You call her crazy, she'll show you crazy!!!

  2. LMAO!!! Luckily, I haven’t had a guy present any of these as a response. Although, if I say some off the wall shenanigans – they tend to give me the stink eye, shake their head and just laugh. Funny list though.

  3. “You have many questions, and although the process has altered your consciousness, you remain irrevocably human. Ergo, some of my answers you will understand, and some of them you will not. Concordantly, while your first question may be the most pertinent, you may or may not realize it is also the most irrelevant.”

    I am DEFINITELY going to use that Architect quote from the Matrix in my next…passionate discussion. I'll get yelled at, she'll be urined off five times more than before the argument started, but it will be hilarious! I just hope I can do it with a straight face.

    1. If I were you, I would be less concerned with keeping a straight face, and more concerned with her losing consciousness and going supernatural on you!

      I am cracking up at the fact that you all clearly seem to think we are crazy, but don't seem to see the threat and potential danger involved in provoking us! LMBO and SMH all at the same time.

  4. OMG! You are well versed in the art of pissing any woman off lol. Any of these comments would set me off immediately (sad but true)

  5. *tears* @ THIS!!!!!

    #4 would've saved my bf a lot of heartache on Monday, LMBO! *more tears*

    …let me finish the list now…

    …ok, I'm done.

    #s 1, 2, and 4 must be completely understood when dealing with me. Using those is like adding fuel to an already intense flame, LOL! It will abso-freakin-lutely make the problems 100x worse!!!! LMBO!

  6. You left one off the list: In an argument, asking her if she’s on her period. This is the same thing as calling her crazy and will get you cussed out with the quickness.

  7. #7 … GRRR.

    my pressure rose just reading these.

    i abhor being ignored. mine likes to do a lovely combination of 6 and 7. he'll not answer my text message for 2 hours… and when he does, it'll say "ok." or the equally annoying "aight."

    *punches pillow*

    WHY lawd. WHY? lol
    My recent post too much, too soon?

  8. The reason why you shouldn’t say these things, especially in throes of an argument is because it is patronizing, condescending and dismissive. It’s like having emotions invalidates her point/feelings (it doesn’t by the way).
    All these thing do is shut down communications, and lead us to give you the I’m fine/lies for answers when you ask what’s wrong – which of course we all know you hate.

  9. I love SBM, and I always read the articles, today I’ll dive in the swimming pool (POUR UP, DRANK!) and leave a comment. #1 is me all the way. I’m very guilty of becoming more angry when a man tells me to calm down. IMHO, it makes me feel like the other person is talking to me like a kid. You know how a parent tells a child to “shush”? It’s very dismissive. I’m grown, I’m mad, and I want to say what I have to say the way I want to say it. Now, I don’t believe in getting violent or fighting dirty. I fight on whatever the argument is about. And I’m not an irate angry black woman who’s going to burn your clothes in the car in the driveway. BUT I am the one to raise my voice, but not scream. I’ve gotten into a few heated arguments where I’ve gotten loud and when I do, the guy seems to just concentrate on quieting me down, instead of resolving what we’re arguing about in the first place. Pisses me off to the highest PISSIVITY! #thatisall

  10. I mentally see a host of class action lawsuits against this author! Men from across the nation will insist your advice got them cut, stabbed, burned, shot-at, and poisoned. They will swear under oath that as a result of giving slick answers to such questions as described above, they no longer have clothes, and sudden movements from their mate has caused them long term pain and suffering. ROTFLMBO!!!!


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