Home Featured 10 Things About Life I’ll Teach My Daughter

10 Things About Life I’ll Teach My Daughter


Mr. Spradley writes an excellent piece on 5 Things He’ll Teach His Son About Women. If you’ve never read it, I would take a look at it when you get a chance. Now I thought I’d try and take a stab at a post just like that but about my daughter. Most men are scared as hell to think that one day they might have a daughter. We think back on every interaction we’ve had with women in our past and we would be appalled if someone did some of that stuff to our daughters. Not that we’ve been bad men, but we all have our share of regrets and disappointments. Most men have broken a girl’s heart, even though they didn’t intend to hurt her. Most men have been relied on by a woman at times and subsequently was unable to fulfill the responsibility. When we sit down and think that this may happen to our daughter, it troubles us. Today, I take a look at the ten things that I would want to teach my daughter or tell my daughter.

Now keep in mind, this is Dr. J writing… I’m just being real. Let’s begin with a quote.

“Sometimes I am walking with my daughter, I’m talking to my daughter, I’m looking at her, I’m pushing her in the stroller. And sometimes I pick her up and I just stare at her and I realize my only job in life is to keep her off the pole. Keep my baby off the pole! I mean they don’t grade fathers but if your daughter is a stripper you f*cked up.”

1. Don’t be wack.

I would love to tell you not to talk to boys or that if you kiss a boy you’ll turn into a frog. I would love to tell you that if you have sex, you’ll die, so never have sex. I would love to tell you all of that, but it makes no sense whatsoever. I don’t want to know the details of your sex life, but just don’t be wack. I remember how men used to talk about the girls who weren’t putting out or who were wack in general, don’t be like that. I’m not telling you to go YOLO’ing your life away, I’m just saying, don’t be wack.

2. All men have the predator gene. Keep this in mind when using social networking platforms.

Wayne Gretzky, his daughter Paulina and her Halloween costume pictures from Instagram.

I’m a man, however, whenever I get friended on Facebook or allowed to follow a person on Twitter, I go straight for all their pictures. Within minutes of accepting a friend request, I’ve already seen all of a girl’s Spring Break pictures. All men have that same gene, they can’t help it. It might be harmless, but everyone of us have the power to “do the creep.”

3. I’m your best friend, not your mom.

Your mom’s job is different than mine. Your mom’s job is to nurture you and care for you, she will always be flawed in that she will shield you from the pain you need in order to be great. My job is to provide for you and in order to do that, I have to prepare you. I look at those women who are afraid to tell their father anything or that believe they are Daddy’s little princess and I think that’s the worst. I don’t want to create another spoiled princess in this world, I want to create the coolest woman on the planet. This means that no matter what, you can always come to me and tell me anything. You can also rely on me to give you an honest opinion, even it hurts me and/or you.

15. There’s things that men can do, that you can’t do because they probably shouldn’t be doing it either.

4. I trust your judgment, but it is my duty as your father to not like any man you bring to this house until he’s my son-in-law.

If you don’t bring him to the house, I will find him. Don’t make me go looking for him. I will always want to know, even if I’m not close to him, who is involved with matters of your heart.

There will be plenty of feminists who try and tell you that women and men can all do the same things, that’s not true. Just because men sleep around and are rewarded does not mean you can do that too. It’s not just sex, but it’s any of those things on the long list of gender norms that make absolutely no sense. If a man’s behavior detests you because you feel that there’s a double standard at play, make sure you even agree with the actions before jumping at the opportunity to play copycat.

Laurence Fishburne’s daughter ended up in the adult film business.

If it’s not WorldStar, it’s Youtube, or any other platform that allows you to post videos. If you make a video expect that it will find it’s way to the Internet unless you are the only person who has a copy and you never ever lose your phone or allow someone use of your computer. The point is… if I find out you’re on WorldStar, that’s your ass.


  1. *daps* It’s good to know I’m not the outlier in thinking like this about my 2 daughters. It may sound harsh, but #10 is the most salient point that will prepare them for life.

  2. "I remember how men used to talk about the girls who weren’t putting out or who were wack in general, don’t be like that."

    Not quite sure what you mean by this so I cant really say I agree but I like everything else. I was raised only by my father and he pretty much taught me all of this with extra emphasis on number 10. Number 10 is something we need to teach daughters, sons, baby mamas, half cousins, etc. Its definitely the difference between being good and being great.

    1. oh and this – "Above all else, I’ve always told people that my plan is to be a great father. That was one of my goals in life that I had at an early age, I just wanted to be a great father. It didn’t have anything to do with my father not always being around, because he was. It didn’t have anything to do with wanting to represent for my race, because I don’t feel any pressure or responsibility to do that. It actually came from a place of vanity. I just want creatures on this planet in the image of myself. With that said, I need to make sure that they are the coolest creatures on the planet because their dad will be the coolest dad on the planet." Bible, Quran, Torah, basically TRUTH!

      My dad is not perfect but if anyone crosses him or tries to tell him hes not perfect I will slit their throat and hide the body. The reason I love him so much is because I can honestly tell that he loves me and my siblings genuinely and not because he has to set an example for other blacks or because my mom wasnt around or because someone is making him.

  3. Good post Dr. J. Man, I can't say which one stands out the most as they are all equally important in raising a good, all-around young lady. I will also add, no matter what, make sure the man you are dating respects you. I think that is very key.

  4. i think the chris rock quote needs to be updated for worldstar/youtube…a stripper is bad but she's grown in one location and hopefully no one recognizes her, online is all over and she's bussing it wide open for likes and comments. either possibility would make me go Liam Neeson. but great post…usually on list posts i try to add honorable mentions but i got nothing, you hit the nail on the head with all the points
    My recent post Today’s Word is… INSANE

  5. Gretzky looks PISSED. I think that's the first time I ever saw that look. Yeah, someone is catching a hockey stick to the temple if they step out of line.

  6. I was having a conversation with my daughter yesterday (shes 10) about loving yourself. Teaching her how she must always love the person she is. And how its ok to work on improving parts of you but you gotta love all of you. Little girls need to know its ok to love their imperfections.

  7. This post was on point, and I really like # 8 and #9, those two are huge factors that determine if a relationship = 30 yrs of Marriage or if it will lead to a Quick and Numbing/Drawn Out and painful break up

  8. Good post.

    Number 5 stood out to me. More specifically the last line at the end:

    "If a man’s behavior detests you because you feel that there’s a double standard at play, make sure you even agree with the actions before jumping at the opportunity to play copycat."

    Couldn't agree more with this.

  9. Excellent, excellent piece. Round of applause. So was Mr. Spradley's piece

    1. Learn martial arts, learn how to handle a gun.
    2. Be a wife before being a wh0re.
    3. The rest is on me to make sure she is a force of nature upon the world. Because it is already in her genes.

    I pop my collar to Dr. J

  10. Oh wow, am I the only that isn't feeling the post 100? The number 1 about being wack…are you saying she shouldn't be one of those girls that doesn't put out? I would be encouraging strongly who my daughter gives chex to. Perhaps I misunderstood.

    1. No @Dana

      When the good Doctor says "Don't Be Wack" is really means "Be cool a human being" and to ATEOTD, give good energy. Non-Sexually

  11. Good post sometimes I think we forget the leasons and make everything about the parents. When it is the children that need out help


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