Home Featured Do Men Prefer Models Over the Everyday Girl?

Do Men Prefer Models Over the Everyday Girl?


Each year I watch the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show and it gets me to thinking… are men predisposed to think all women should resemble these models? Let me be the first to say, “Hell No!” But let’s really sit down and examine the disconnect that men have between the women they see in the media and the ones that we see on the regular basis. I think I speak for all real men when I say, just so you know there’s a lot of airbrushing and photoshop that goes into you thinking these women are goddesses. Regardless, as men we sit and we watch and we admire and somewhere along the way women cringe at the result.

Here’s the thing, most women aren’t going to be 5’9” and 125 lbs, that’s just unrealistic. I think it’s important that women know that as men spend countless hours on Instagram and Tumblr we’re very aware that what we really want is something that we can hold and call our own.

So… Dr. J figured he’d take a closer look at what was going on with the fact that men spend more time talking about models and bottles than the women they actually see on the regular basis. I put it like this to the people, everybody likes eye candy but we know at the end of the day it’s not going be our reality. It’s the fact that we don’t always communicate that we don’t expect that to be our reality that causes problems. Realistically, we don’t expect our women to always have perfectly permed hair and sitting in matching bras and panties. Yes, no man alive has ever been about to engage in coital activities and turned it down because her panties and bra didn’t match.

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So let’s keep it all the way real…

Why aren’t there more realistic images of women on TV? Simple, because the images that are on TV are driven by consumerism. There is a need to have these women that are generally accepted by all before they fit the images that men like to see. I said on Twitter last night, “I would really like to see a Show Magazine Fashion Show” and that’s because we love curves and all that other jazz. Yes, there are some brothers who love there women slim, trim and thin, but that’s not all of us. Personally, I’m a fan of all women. That means size 0 or 13, I’ve got love for you.

But where does that love come from or where does it propagate itself in our preferences? It’s the confidence that a woman displays. It’s the fact that she can sit with you and watch the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show and know that after it’s over you’re about to put some work in her in the bedroom. Moreover, it’s independent of the fashion show, it’s because he just loves your body.

Therefore, what I really want to take away from the fashion show is that if men love you and your body it shouldn’t matter what happens on Twitter for a few hours. Only deal with men who can appreciate your body for all its glory. That’s what you want.

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I’ll tell you guys a story before I go; I tend to frequent this nightclub called Stadium in DC. If you haven’t heard of it, it’s awesome. A few weeks or months ago, my boy and me were sitting there talking about who our favorite models were and I said this, “I like this one right here because I like a girl that fits into my arms and what I want to do.” Y’all who have met me know that I’m about a buck-60 soaking wet in my jeans in a thunderstorm. I don’t want something that’s on a music video, that’s cool to look at but it ain’t really what I want in my bed. I also want a girl I can imagine myself with for a long time, so it ain’t a bone thin girl who looks like she won’t chow down on some wings and beer with the big homie. For that very reason you’ll only see me go with a girl who seems natural and real.

Write that down ladies, as much as men like to profess themselves as being “real” they also want a “real” woman. Something that they can say isn’t some dream, but something that’s a reality. Keep that in your mind when you’re thinking that the VS Models aren’t realistic and are not what men should be looking at. We’re not checking for that, we’re checking for that girl who’s going to hold us down and look good in our dress shirt, not VS Angels.


  1. Good post and I agree with what you got here. Nothing wrong with having a diverse outlook on what one believes beauty to be. Just because you belive a VS model to be attractive doesn't necessarily mean that's the only "type" of woman that will ever be attractive to you. And that's all I have to say about that.

    *Sits back, pops popcorn and observes while patiently waiting to see how this post will go left*

  2. I prefer the everyday girl over the model type any day of the week. Like Dr.J said……I want a girl who is gonna hold me down at every turn, regardless of the situation. A Victoria Secret model can't do anything for me.

    Women should just embrace who they are and not compare themselves to anyone else…..I know wishful thinking lol.

    1. between a VS model who "can hold you down at every turn", and the everyday girl who "can hold you down at every turn", who will you guys choose??? I've noticed that on posts like these, most men tend to be a bit hypocrite and nto truly say what they think.

      I will not say if I am a VS model "type" of lady or an "everyday" lady because I want TRUE answers. Men… Man up !

  3. A couple of points.

    I don't & will not speak for all men, but I believe I have an idea of how alot of (black) men think.

    I have a bare minimum for how good looking I want a woman to look if I want to give her the time of day. In objective terms, I will deal with at least a 4 (for BW) a 7 (for all other races) on a objective beauty scale from 1-10.

    The #1 thing for me reaching my 25th birthday is a woman's mental state (esp. if she is black american). Because mental state = cooperation. But, I will not deny the power of having a woman that is a 8-10 on your arm. People listen & believe what you have to say if you can regular pull women of above average beauty.

    I think (black) men, should obsess over the Bria Myles, Rosa Acostas & Victoria Secret Models of the world. With the right mentality, & positive self-image, you can regularly pull women like this.

    If it effs with the regular girl's self esteem, so be it. They are not victims in this game.

    That's all I have for now.

  4. "somewhere along the way women cringe at the result."

    Really? -_-'! I mean it's all good… I (almost feel like including all women here and say "we") spend my time fantasizing about men we only see on TV, you know: Idriss (dude is SO THE MAN, we don't even have to mention his last name, we all know who he is) Mickael Ealy, Lance Gross etc…

    "it shouldn’t matter what happens on Twitter for a few hours."

    Who cares?! lol do your thing aint nobody mad at you, like you said it's not real!!!

    (Lol this post makes me think about how Terrence once said to Rocsi "Oh Ciara is fine, why can't you be more like her uh why?!" She got mad and walked out of stage… I found her SOooO dumb!!! Obviously it was a joke… Stupid one ok, but still she took it a lil bit too seriously!!!)

    1. MaggK the ladies obsess over t.v. men because there aren't many fine & sexy men like them in real life. There all we have…lol.
      Rocsi is pretty. I think because so many men have obsessed over her and told her how fine she was and she stole Lisa Raye's ex husband from her "allegedly" and now she is with Eddie Murphy and we all know he goes for nothing less than 10's, Rocsi does indeed think she is the most beautifulest thing in this world. If anyone dares to argue that she naturally gets highly offended. It's not a joke or a game to her, it's how she eats and has the life of luxury that she has.

      1. "because there aren't many fine & sexy men like them in real life."
        World war free would happen if men say that lol!

        My point is that people we see on tv are people we see on tv!!! I simply refuse to understand that people on TV can make you feel insecure about yourself!!! Seriously i don't see why i'd feel less beautiful, or less sexy because my man is enjoying himself watching the VS models… It's ok to find other girls pretty lol!

        (About Rocsi that's what i thought, i know it was her ego… Since i dnt like her it's hard for me to feel for her!!!)

      2. Rocsi fine? That’s the first time im seeing that in print.She’s ok at best now, compared to how her funny jaw faced grill used to look.

        1. flat_ironed thats what "they" (men) say. I've definitely seen and know much much better.
          Don't shoot the messenger..lol

  5. I think women get annoyed by men obsessing with these women because they in turn compare us to these women. Guys love to tell women not to compare them to there ex-boyfriend or some other guy she has dealt with while men compare us to women they don't know, lol, the logic.

      1. Your right they do but I think that’s more for validation from men. Example a girl says, ” I’m getting my Kim K on today.” She knows men like Kim K and will therefore dress like her. Unfortunately alot of women think if no one validates their beauty they’re not cute.

  6. Good and very interesting post. Most of the guys I know personally all talk about the finest chicks they actually know in real life. Girls around the way, their boys fine sister or mom, girls from college or at work or whatever. All the men I know stay talking about the best looking women at work, and the best looking vendors and salespeople, especially at my job.
    I agree, the whole thing with models and strippers is mostly fantasies. From what every guy I know tells me they all want real women with real hair, eyelashes, tata's and everything else.

  7. The whole thing is maybe white women are having these issues because it seems that white men like more of a really slim figure. However it seems black guys rather have a little thickness. So I don't think most of us sisters are threatened by Vicky Secrets model. Plus I used to work there and any woman up to size 12 can go in there and buy some of the items anyway do your own fashion show for your man….lol Btw I've seen so many different females getting married and engaged over the past year and let me tell you they come in all shapes and sizes and they're all under 30 all different attitudes. So black women keep hope alive fugg those vicky secret models. Except the fact that they are tall I'm tall so they are ok with me…lol

    1. "The whole thing is maybe white women are having these issues because it seems that white men like more of a really slim figure."

      Yep, cuz I done seent it with my own eyes and heard it with my two ears..

      1. Except for the ones that wait till the sister girl walk by so they they glare at her big bootie. I think white men like variety just like the brothers. I have seen many break necks to sneak a peek, plus I have been hit on by enough to know a really slim figure is not all white men want. I'm a people watcher…I see this all the time.

        Let's not forget the plantation either. Keeping it all the way real.

        I've also read opinions that state the reason the "standard of beauty" is everything opposite of black women is because it keeps us from being put in our rightful glory.

        1. "I've also read opinions that state the reason the "standard of beauty" is everything opposite of black women is because it keeps us from being put in our rightful glory."


  8. "I like my women thick, not just kinda Fine" – Dwayne Carter

    Women feel some type of way because they see men as simple minded creatures who have been duped by the media and masses into what's really attractive. We deserve more credit than that tho

    Men have diversified tastes. If I'm thirsting a VS angel (honestly Rihanna grabbed my eye more than any of the models) doesn't mean I won't break my neck on a regular chick in a pencil skirt or flirt with the big girl cashier at Dunkins. I don't understand how a man can only like one type of girl, like dude u don't see the plethora of eye candy out here.

  9. "most women aren’t going to be 5’9” and 125 lbs, that’s just unrealistic."

    Thank God. 5'-1" and 125 lbs is cool. At 5'-9" and 125 lbs, I'm going to need someone to take her to Red Robin for a burger, fries and a chocolate shake until she gets up to at least 140.

      1. My last girlfriend was 5'-1" and fluctuated between just under 120 and 125. She wore a size 2. So adding eight inches of height to the same weight? I'll just say that's not my preference.

        1. …now we both know that inch and 7-10 lbs makes a nice difference, lol.

          I bet you always find your size on the rack, huh? LOL!

        2. chile i'm 7 inches taller than you and pretty much weigh the same. lmao.

          "black" brands or lines geared towards black women don't fit right. i can't fill the hip part out. womp. but yeah… i don't really have trouble finding clothes in mainstream stores. my problem is jeans. regular ones flood sometimes and the "tall" ones are for 5'10-5'11" girls it seems. smh
          My recent post too much, too soon?

        3. check out PZI jeans…they are perfect! and come in appropriate lengths! I am almost 5'10 and have always been between 130 – 140. And had the same issue with jeans until I found them.

  10. Oh Trust!! I Ain’t Mad!! Please Believe.

    TrueStory: I was on the elevator this morning with 2 white women, one said to the other one.. “hey did you want the victoria secrets show last night?” the other said and I quote “No, I didn’t ON PURPOSE” she then laughs and the other woman then says “Smart Girl’… (both laughing) Mind you they both look to be no bigger than a size 4. *smh*

    WM standard of beauty and BM standard of beauty (specifically boby type) differs.. Waif like/very thin frame is mostly coveted by WM, while most NOT ALL BM like curves and a little thickness, I honestly can’t see Black woman and Hispanic women feeling a certain kind of way when looking at VSS models.

  11. This is really crazy to me. Maybe my girls are just hella confident but I don't think I have ever been part of a convo w/ my friends where we even considered comparing ourselves to any Model, celebrity or next chick. I watched the VS models and thought stuff like ohhh her wings are hot! LMAO If there are women out here comparing themselves to any other woman they need to turn off the tv and go read a self help book. Get your mind right! There is someone out there for EVERYone – even a chick who is objectively a 1 has some dude willing to jump over the moon for her. So figure out what you have working for you and work it!

    1. My bff is a former professional runway model. She still looks the same as we did in highschool and college. She still wears the same size. I've known her since 3rd grade. In college and after when we went out I got just as much play, (sometimes more) than she did. I think some guys were intimidated by her height and beauty. She's almost 5'10 inches tall. Never ever have I felt intimidated or threatened by her or any of her model chick friends or any other woman.
      I have a cousin who is a BBW. She gets more play than me sometimes…lol. She's curvalicious and got a hell of a personality, and as many men tell her "a pretty face." As big as she is she can run, stay up all nite and still look good and not be real tired, do splits and is over 40 yrs old. Men chomp at the bit to get her attention. It's so amusing. lol.
      Men will look because they're human, just like women look too. I could care less what women my man looks at, as long as he's with me and I have his heart, thats what really matters.

      1. "She's curvalicious and got a hell of a personality, and as many men tell her "a pretty face." "
        I see what you did there…

  12. i love the VS fashion show. Alessandra is a bad girl. lol

    i don't think black women compare themselves to these models as much as other women, simply because BM are known to have a different preference. i'm not thick in any sense of the word though so i just date men who like my body type. no harm, no foul.

    good post.
    My recent post too much, too soon?

    1. I agree there was a study recently that showed Black women had incredibly high esteem regarding body image. I think this was helped by our lack of representation in the media. We were forced looked more to what we saw everyday than to what Vogue and Matel were saying was the ideal. I know my size 14/16 friends have a lot more confidence than me (size 2/4) they are the first ones to go the beach in a 2 piece. Men like women's bodies for how they look but women should love their bodies for what they can do, bring life into the world.

      1. Truth. I'm not sure which study you are talking about but I'm almost positive there is some study I read saying black adolescent females showed to have higher self esteem than their white adolescent peers and they came to a similar conclusion; the inability to identify with media images (additionally, resilience instilled in the home). I'm pretty sure that never stops and the VSS models are a perfect example.

        And I understand your life. I'm a 2 and I consider myself to be a confident person but…the beach. I can't. I remain covered at all times. My friends, ya know with actual curves and a body, just as free as can be. It's… greaatt.

        1. lol. I agree. I'm good in any other setting. Social butterfly. Beach? Nope. Thick girls got it. lol I'm ok with that; ocean is still top 5 places to be.

        2. lol @ "squat & hip extensions" too cute.
          I know this is very cliche – but since it seems so fitting for this post I'll say it again.
          "Love The Skin Your In" – that is all.

  13. Exactly GirlSixx. What I've noticed is that many WM's wives fit the "standard of beauty" even at 40 something.
    I've seen some very good looking white women over 40 who have 2 or 3 or 4 kids. Keep themselves up very well and work-out and can probably still fit the same clothes from college. I'm talking Pam Anderson, Christie Brinkley and Meagan Fox looking women. Yet ironically their husbands seem to take them for granted and still cheat on them. Boggles the mind.

  14. A recent post on VSB said studies show women really prefer bad boys, but when you ask them directly, they say the opposite. I'm still reading this post, but I'll say that something similar seems to be happening when anecdotal evidence shows men prefer super hot women over "real women" and when you ask them directly. I'll continue my reading…

    1. I agree with Dr. J that reality and fantasy are two different things.

      On occasion, some men get a little too vocal about their fantastical preferences, but in my circles, it's usually for the video girls, who have some meat on them, rather than the models.

      Models look fragile to me. Given what a lot of men would like to DO to those women, being fragile doesn't really translate to real life. Mile Kunis mentioned she got down to a really tiny weight for "Black Swan". She said it looked great on camera, but it was pretty gross in real life. I think it's a similar situation here.

      Anyway, I don't tend to feel threatened by models. I don't spend too much time being threatened, because I leave choices of attraction up to men, but if I WERE to feel threatened, it would more likely happen with a very attractive regular girl than with a model.

  15. i don't see what's wrong with fantasizing about images you see on television or on the internet as long as you can separate fantasy from reality. i don't see men getting up in their feelings when women express adoration for idris elba or michael ealy. it is what it is. if you want to fawn over them then by all means do you.
    My recent post How I became a jaded man (VI)

    1. I think it's very different when women obsess over Idris and Ealy. I can't really put my finger all the way on it, but to me I notice a big difference in what they find attractive in them.

        1. It's not the enjoying the eye candy itself that is different. The difference is in the reaction from women when they're not the ones doing the ogling. It's objectification and sexist when men do it, but it's all good when women are the ones doing it themselves.

  16. A few comments here are saying that BW are less likely to care about comparing themselves to the images of women on the VS Fashion Show and models and such like WW do… Well, that's true but it's also a few articles that are suggesting that Black women are really confident in their looks even when it's unhealthy. They have the most self-esteem in their physical image even to the detriment of their health. Black women are more likely to love themselves when they are bigger than what's recommended by doctors and stuff and that can lead to diabetes and heart disease. Just some thoughts to add to the conversation.

    1. Very good point. Curves are very attractive to me, but only when the women with the curves is maintaining a healthy lifestyle. Diabetes, hypertension, and obesity are really killing us.

  17. Of course I want a model over an average girl. The real problem is that guys don't have the balls to try and bag a model, some of ya'll in these comments gotta grow a pair. Get some confidence about yourself, lose that thought of any woman being "above" you and go out and get it!

  18. You broads will cheat on your man with an NFL player DUMB QUICK, but its dudes on here talking about they want a regular chick over a model smh ya'll got the game twisted.

  19. I can understand, or at least empathize, with women who take affront to men watching and fantasizing about VS models, but is it really that serious? I sincerely ask. It seems to be a (gasp) insecurity issue. I’ve heard women (my wife included) mention how a guy on TV is attractive, looks sexy, blah, blah, blah. If somebody is attractive to them, cool.

    It seems that a man who finds a woman that looks nothing like who they have at home, attractive, then problems arise. Comments get made about a woman looking like a ho, she’s fake, why do you like…that? Do men say ol’ boy looks funny, he looks like a pimp, etc.?

    In the majority of cases, I’d say no. Women like who they like. And men like various traits on women as well. Our tastes vary, so please don’t take it as an insult that a woman we view that may be a size 14 is attractive, even if the one we have at home is a 8.

  20. I loved this part —-> "It’s the confidence that a woman displays."

    Great post Dr. J and I hope it allows women to do what Tristan said in giving men more credit. Inward beauty and "realness" have an outward display as does confidence and I think men value that greatly. But regardless, like someone said upstream, work with what you got and be the best at it. Your future partner will love you for being "real" and most importantly you'll love yourself.

    Sidenote for the gents commenting about thin girls not being able to hang with a burger and some chicken wangs… thin girls come in many variations… as a former athlete and dancer at 5'8" 125lbs I'm a T-Rex reincarnated because I can throw down at the table and there's plenty of cushion where it counts!

    1. I am not going to lie to you… I didn't want to say anything but when people say these women aren't eating, i'm like… they actually eat. Like there's a whole other level to being a supermodel that really takes it to another level. It's not like, "a G String and a Dream." It's genetics behind it and a metabolism that's out of this world. Some of those girls can eat a burger and fries everyday and not gain a pound. They may have a heart attack, but some people just don't gain weight.

      1. I don't know, Doc. One of my besties was a professional dancer…BALLET, lol…lived in NY. And one of the reasons she stopped was because of the pressure and MESS surrounding that life. Eating cotton is REAL!!!! I'm not saying its all of them (models, dancers, etc.)…but it happens.

        1. Seriously i eat all i want i don't gain weight… But if i eat a lil less than usual i loose weight like crazy…

    2. Poetic Justice: "Sidenote for the gents commenting about thin girls not being able to hang with a burger and some chicken wangs… thin girls come in many variations… as a former athlete and dancer at 5'8" 125lbs I'm a T-Rex reincarnated because I can throw down at the table…"

      True. My ex ate as much as I do, and she never got over 125 pounds. Other women hate her guts.

  21. This reminds me of the post about dating outside your lane, but from a different angle.

    I think there's a difference between what you see on tv and what you get in reality. Its kinda like judging a movie based on the commercials you see. Sure it looks like its worth it, but the 30 second snippet doesn't tell you much about the plot, the character development, the depth, how similar the characters are to you, how accurate the story is, etc – all of which go into making a good movie.

    Same goes for dating. Looks are only one part of it. How important probably depends on how many bad movies/relationships you've had based on previews. But the whole falling in love with a model discounts the other parts of falling in love so at its most basic level its superficial.
    My recent post Learn About “the Other” Algebra

  22. I will say that there's something different about beauty and healthy. I can easily understand not wanting to date someone who I know has unhealthy eating habits because of my fears that they may rub off on me, or maybe just concern for their overall health.
    My recent post Learn About “the Other” Algebra

  23. Good post J. Co-sign 100%. As an admirer of women of all nationalities, model or not, if you bad, you bad. The End Period! Plus, as a southern brother like myself, most VS models wouldn't meet my standards either. I prefer women with hips, thighs, and nice backsides!!

  24. I didn't watch the show, but I find some of the VS models attractive, but for a different reason: in order for most of them to be displaying those clothes, you have to live a healthy lifestyle. I think most men are enamored with the discipline many of those women have—they know that she might not "let herself go," because it's her job to look good and stay in shape. I think most men like the idea of having a woman like that. I know I do—I live a healthy lifestyle, so I'd naturally want a woman that I'm dating to follow suit.

    However, I don't think those women are the epitome of attractiveness. I can find women of all shapes beautiful, whether they look like they should strut across a runway, be a fitness instructor, be in some rapper's video, or somewhere in between. (Well … I don't find larger women attractive. I can't really get down with women who are heavy. Just not my preference.)

    But really, as long as a girl doesn't have tattoos, piercings all over the place, or baggage, and has a positive mindset and a good character (and preferably some Black ancestry), I'm game.

    … Sorry for the long post.
    My recent post You Don’t (Really) Decide Your Own Value

  25. Honestly, there is no universal consensus among men as to what we find attractive. I've noticed that a lot of women believe that men have this weird "tunnel vision" view of beauty, as if there is only one type of woman we can ever be attracted to. What a man finds attractive varies between individual men, and individual men can find multiple types of women equally attractive. All body types are attractive to someone. Some men prefer models, some don't. If you're not a model then don't worry about the men who prefer them. Just focus on the ones who prefer you.

    1. "If you're not a model then don't worry about the men who prefer them. Just focus on the ones who prefer you." Such simple common sense, yet still so difficult for some to do. smh.

    2. Yup,

      I always find it weird that SOME women who get told their beautiful by one man get crazy when that same man then calls another woman who does not look like them in any way beautiful.I love how I look, but I don't base that from men telling me I'm beautiful, because I know there is not one definition of beauty and their definition could be very different then mine.

  26. Hell everyone with an Instagram account and an email address is a model nowadays. I'm just hoping she well constructed in other areas along with being a bad chica. I think the concentration should be on the man you're dealing with and his tastes because if you sat all the dudes in this comments section in a room and did a picture flip, different opinions would be spoken depending on the man.

  27. Great post.

    I know a few women who can put away exorbinate amounts of food and not gain a pound. Crazy!!

    Like Tunde said, seperating fantasy from reality is the key

  28. Caveat in advance:- I believe that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes so do you and be happy.
    BUT, I find the stereotype quite interesting/amusing that black men all love big/curvy women.
    I don't like stick-figure thin models either, but I definitely like my women slim/athletic and petite. And I know I'm not the only brother like that. So does that mean I/we take the fantasy of some of those… curvier models more seriously? Maybe, if it wasn't for the fact that I think women that look like 10s have exponentially more "issues" than regular women <ducks>

  29. *Loading my gun, securing my clip and firing shots at Kay*….bup bup bup…Gunshot!
    lol – j/k Kay. Always wanted to do that and u left the door wide open for it…*smile*

  30. I just find it interesting how the most basic or average (and below) looking men think that they should have super model type women or "bad" women. If you're an average person expect an average mate… and just keep dreaming.


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