Home Featured How One Man Became Jaded: Part 3

How One Man Became Jaded: Part 3


 how men become jaded

Click here for part 1 and here for part 2.

Fast forward to the end of the summer. Classes are done and I’d gotten to the point where I didn’t fall apart when I saw my Stacey eating lunch during class with Steve. Not only did it hurt, it was embarrassing because everyone knew we were together and thought that she was with Steve before me. Now she was spending all her time with him again and throwing it in my face. I told myself “F*ck it, she doesn’t deserve you.”

One of my closest friends in Nashville was Patricia. I’ve known Patricia since I was 16. We went to undergrad together (had the same exact class schedule all four years in college) and were in the same graduate laboratory. She saw I was going through the blues and invited me to this outdoor John Legend/Lyfe Jennings concert with some of her friends. One of these friends was a girl named Adriana whom I always thought was cute. Once we were inside the gates, I had to use the bathroom so I went to the port-a-potty. As I was coming out, I got a text from Patricia: “Just a heads up, I ran into Stacey and she’s here with Steve.”

This is one of the reasons I love Patricia. Without the possibility of being caught off guard, I walked up to the group I was with and noticed Stacey and Steve standing together nearby. I ambled over, dapped Steve up and told him “congrats.” Then I went about my business.

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Of course that night I got a text that said: “So you just gonna ignore me when you saw me today and then disrespect me while telling Steve ‘good luck?’ what type of shit was that?” I’ve never curved a chick so hard in my life.  I basically told myself that they deserved each other and I could do much better (what I actually said was a lot more harsh).

Fast forward a couple of weeks.

Since I was single and free to mingle, I set my sights on Adriana. I asked her out on a date and to my delight she accepted. It was really low key. We chilled out at her apartment and then went to see a movie. In the middle of it, my phone buzzed and I looked and saw it was a text from Stacey. “Hey what are you up to?” Against my better judgment and etiquette, I answered the text. “I’m on a date.” to which I got the response “Oh ok. Well hit me up when you’re done.”

I texted Stacey after I dropped Adriana off at home. “Can you come over? I have some things I want to talk to you about.” Once again, against my better judgment I went to her apartment. She started off our conversation by apologizing for hurting and embarrassing me the way she did. She said she loved me just as much and was scared of where her feelings were taking her (only hindsight allowed me to see that was truly game). She said that things with Steve were just surface so she didn’t have to worry about being venerable although that’s exactly where I was. I believed every word she said because truthfully I still loved her. We picked right back up that night like we never missed a beat. I just played Adriana to the left and once again hindsight let me know that the way I played that situation with her was really messed up.

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To be continued…


  1. Eventually you guys will have to put out a SBM compilation book, with this, the single Sam series, and Most's, Dr. J's and Streetz's e-books.

  2. Ohhhhh damn homegirl Stacey got MAD GAME! She wasn't even tripping while you were on a date!!!
    Im sorry for Adriana she didn't even know she was the rebound chick… SMH… not cool sir!!!

      1. Tunde tried to play cool by saying he was on a date. Stacey one upped him saying hit her up after. Stacey was playing chess, T was playing checkers.

  3. Waiting to see how Stacey played you…2x, lol…and how you wronged Ms. Adriana.

    Cause…y'all were just dating…one date at that! If you said something along the lines of, "Hey, great date. But, I realized I have unresolved feelings for someone else. I'm sorry if you feel I wasted your time…but I'm telling you as soon as I knew," then I don't think you did anything wrong. If you started ignorning her, acting brand new, and stringing her along, then yeah, you were dead wrong, lol.

    1. After 1 date? It's good courtesy to give an explanation, but after only 1 date he decides not to call her anymore then I don't think he's necessarily in the wrong sans explanation. Just the same if she wasn't feeling him after the one date and didn't answer anymore of his phone calls then I'd still have the same opinion. They chilled at his crib and went to a movie, I meaaan….lol.

      Maybe I have a different view on this since I already know how it turns out, though *shrugs*.

      1. Courtesy, yes. A must, no.

        But, playing games with people's emotions…stringing them along…is wrong. Not calling anymore and stringing somebody along are two different things.

        AND HOW DO YOU HAVE THE INSIDE SCOOP, SIR???????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We're over here dying to know that end and you already know????? *shakes fists at you* LOL

        1. Yeah I definitely agree…It definitely isn't necessary to call back or give a reason..I mean it is a date. If no sparks flew, then keep it moving…That's the way you have to approach dating in the 21st century. Their lost and someone else's gain!

      1. …which def makes me think she was owed an explanation. But, still…with only one date, you didn't owe her any loyalty at that point. It was still, imo, ok for you to decide to officially date/be with someone else.

        I'll understand it better, by and by…after reading the rest of the story, lol. 😉

  4. Funny reading the comments on how he did the Adrianna woman "dirty" or what have you. I been on a few first dates in my younger days and not all of them picked up their phones the next time I called, lol. I wasn't overly bummed…not like it was the 10th date or we were exclusive and everything was great and she just disappeared without an explanation.

    If he gave her a courtesy explanation after one date that's cool. If not then I wouldn't exactly categorize it with doing someone dirty or playing them. There's just not going to be a 2nd date. Plain and simple.

    1. "If he gave her a courtesy explanation after one date that's cool. If not then I wouldn't exactly categorize it with doing someone dirty or playing them."


    2. He also expressly stated that "he played Adriana to the left." I think we're just all trying to gather what that means. Is he saying he just stopped calling and left her alone altogether or did he do a slow diss where he still dealt with her knowing his heart was with Stacey?
      My recent post Why Men Should Hit on Women at Church

  5. Somehow I get the feeling Tunde gets curved again by Stacey since he is just a stand-in for whoever she really wanted. When it doesn’t work out, she reverts to the person whose heart she has or who is still soul-tied to her aka this guy. I expect this to have happened a few more times hence the ending up jaded part. But this has been indeed a great read.

  6. What the?……. Sigh. very disappointed he went back to Stacey……whatever happened after this event, both parties had it coming. Hmph! I feel discouraged to read the next parts now….

  7. Tunde I hope Stacey never ever sees this. Cause if she does she'll know just how much she had your nose wide open and how bad u were sweating her when she seemed to be using you and playin you to the left the whole time. She seems like she may be the type to gloat about it and tell all her girlfriends – "girl I had this african dude so twisted over me in college that he is still bloggin about me to this day." "Girl I'm tellin you I'm about to give lessons and charge 2 stacks for em." "I'm a bad bit**." lol…ijs

    1. Yo Bree! You are funny! I was thinking the same thing. T was just a sucka 4 luv back then. Stacey is probably a boss somewhere giving seminars on the weekends.
      T- thanks for sharing this. In case I didn't know how to read the signs when they arrived in my own life, I can sure see them now.


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