Home Hot Topics Do You Keep Track of Everyone You’ve Slept With?

Do You Keep Track of Everyone You’ve Slept With?



Preface: You will never ever get a straight answer out of me on how many people I’ve slept with.

I was going around the Internet the other day and I came across an article that talked about the different ways people keep track of who they’ve slept with in their past. It took me back to college when we sat around, as frat brothers typically do, discussing how many women we slept with. I’ve been pretty clear to all of those in my network that I don’t count, and therefore, don’t care. After a few brews, a feeling of fraternalism and a challenge, I decided to try naming all the women I’d been with in my life.


About [blank] [blank] later, I came up with a number I was confident with.

That’s when my frat brother said, “What about [blank]?”

“Aw… sh*t.”

I had totally forgot about that girl. Not to say it wasn’t memorable or special, I had simply just forgotten to include her in the list. Boys will be boys and so we laughed, and then we drank… and then we laughed some more. We all shared stories and decided that we would settle on ranges or landmarks along the road, but we’d never put too much effort in keeping track of everyone. Later, it started to bother me that I had forgotten that I had sex with that girl. It wasn’t like I was a manwhore in college. It was a simple oversight, but since it did bother me, I started thinking about what this was really telling me about my sex life.

Back in high school, one of my boys used to keep the first condom wrapper from every girl he took down. I knew something was up one time when we were all chilling and that dude had a shoebox full of wrappers. Either he was on fire and it wasn’t for Jesus, or he was lying on his Johnson. A few cats would keep names in a black book next to the bed or in a box of Js so they could readily take a look at their trophies should they ever feel the need. Once college came around, if your number wasn’t in the range that the fellas thought it should be, we all set out on a plan to get your numbers to a respectable amount. Many men took Ls so that one dude could live.

See Also:  Pedicures, Happy Endings, and Why I Can Understand Men Paying for Sex

Somewhere along the way it went from being about just the act of having sex, to who you had sex with, to how many you had sex with. However, soon that would pass. We all moved on to something bigger and better than a numbers discussion – The Story. After all, quality wins over quantity any day. But, since the story became more important than the numbers, I stopped keeping track of who I slept with once again. (Lucky for me, I have been in relationships ever since that moment. Thank y’all for coming that will end the press conference.)

As young boys we were wild, straight up wild.

Awhile later in my travels, a coed group of us gathered at a brunch spot in NYC. It was always weird being in the city because we’d meet for brunch but we’d all be coming from different places in the morning — each of us hoping that there was some story behind every person’s hangover. I remember one time my friend (a she) told us a story. In summary, this is what she said:

I was wasted last night, I probably still am wasted right now. CAN I GET SOME WATER?! I woke up this morning in a hotel room, by myself, with no clothes on, wondering, “Did I have sex last night?!” I know who I left with last night, I remember going to said hotel, but the rest of the details are fuzzy.

Well… well… well, what do we have here? Is it possible that the same or similar phenomenon plagues women too? Most women, (actually it ain’t even most anymore), like to profess that their number is low enough to count on one hand, max two. However, I’m thinking to myself; my friend is not loose. She’s a well respecting, taxpaying citizen with no record. If it’s possible she lost track, where does the rabbit hole end?

See Also:  Do Guys Care If You've Slept with Their Friend?

The next thing that came to mind is that while most men think about the number of women they’ve had sex with like this:


Most women think of the men they’ve had sex with like this:

roflbot (13)

That’s when it occurred to me to answer a more important question, “Why does it even matter if you’ve been keeping track of all the people you’ve slept with?”

“Because it’s important to know that sex is an important thing and it should mean something.”
“It don’t. YOLO.”
“It don’t. YOLO.”

If you want, I can give you three really good reasons why you should keep track of who you’ve slept with:

  1. You don’t want to end up on Maury. If you decided to sleep with every aspiring Eminem on 8 mile last night, you might want to keep a composition book of names, just in case.
  2. You don’t want to end up on Maury. If you decided to sleep with the chick who was wiping every dude on 8 mile down last night, you might want to get her name.
  3. But on a serious note, you know that if you catch a certain STD they make you write down each name of the people you’ve had sex with since six months before your last negative test? You know what’s really going to suck? When none of them have it and you realize you’re leaving someone off the list, but you can’t remember who.
See Also:  Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger

I know, my bad, it’s Friday.

Here’s what you should do today before you leave work or begin your weekend. Take out a sheet of paper and start with your first. (Pray to God, you remember your first’s name.) It doesn’t have to be in chronological order, but try and list all the people you’ve had sex with over the years. After you finish your list answer these three questions:

  1. What’s each of their last names?
  2. Would you still sleep with them today?
  3. What are they up to these days?

Have fun. TGIF.

What do you guys think? Is it important to keep track of the people you’ve slept with over the years? Do you think it comes a point in time when you have to start keeping a list or do you just give up after a while? Would it make you skeptical of a person if they told you that they didn’t keep track of how many people they’ve slept with and would you continue to date them?


still funny…



  1. Is it important to keep track of the people you’ve slept with over the years?

    I only keep track until 9 months later. If nothing pops up, or I don't hear anything from or about them, it's whatever.

    Do you think it comes a point in time when you have to start keeping a list or do you just give up after a while?

    Only when you are not getting it in are you going to think about it (deployed, in jail, or married).

    Would it make you skeptical of a person if they told you that they didn’t keep track of how many people they’ve slept with and would you continue to date them?

    My gf said she her number is around (like most chicks will estimate) 8. So no matter what I assume her formula is # she tells men=1/2(80%x^1/3)-14/3. I'm pretty sure this is the formula most women use before they tell their current man what their number is. And for the record, I didn't ask, she volunteered that info that I told her I didn't need to know as long as it was under 50.

    Men on the other hand are much simpler: # he tells her or his boys=x^2

  2. I know Names and Places, That's It. I'm not doing the Big Brother thing and "track" people I've smashed b/c I "assume" we (myself and the Girls I've had Sex With) have Moved On in our lives. I get that in the case(s) of STD/STI/HIV/AIDS one would NEED to know all specific details, but outside of that??? No. Hell No!!!!

    That would be Stalker-ish, IMHO.

  3. I have an excellent memory and i'm only 24 so i still remember every pink matter i touched, Without blowing my spot completely up i'll use percentages

    I know 100% of their last names…shoutout facebook
    75% i would again in a NSA setting, 20% without
    50% are with child, 100% of them aren't mine
    23% still in contact with via social media/text
    35% are single, 75% of that 35 still have some kinda feelings

    As for a woman who told me she didn't keep track, i'd assume she was lying or wasn't comfortable sharing but i wouldn't fret over it. Don't matter how she got there as long as she tests clean when she gets here.

    My recent post Today’s Word is… FLIRT

    1. "I know 100% of their last names…shoutout facebook" AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH I know right!
      Really Doc we have to remember their last names too ahahaha.

      1. Some of them i really can't remember their last names.
      2. I would again with the ones i remember their last names.
      3. I don't know ANYTHING about the ones i can't remember their last names, but the others we are cool!!! They are all single men (who on the low want to get back with me 😛 ahaha).

  4. I hate this myth that women use complex mathematical algorithms to lower their numbers. I had a guy ask me once and at the time my number was 5. He said that means I've actually slept with around 10 men. I'm a grown woman, I'm healthy and STD-free….if I had slept with 10 dudes I would have said 10!

    Men – a lot of women in this day and age realize that as long as we're being safe, it doesn't matter how many men we've slept with, so we're not trying to pull a fast one. And if you think I'm lying than you shouldn't be with me because we clearly have honesty and trust issues

    1. +1 To you, but not all women have as much confidence in their number. Usually the women I know with higher numbers are more likely to lie to whoever they start seeing.

  5. Yes, I keep track. It's not difficult when you're very selective and it's a very short list.
    In the alternative universe where I built a long list, I'd probably edit the list after every clear STI test like the person above I guess. Then again, I like lists, so I'd definitely keep one just because; and if I did, no one could ever be confused about my past.

    I don't think I'd date someone who couldn't keep track of everyone they'd slept with in recent history (like at least the past year). I don't date casually and that sounds like a dude I wouldn't be interested in. I guess there's no accounting for young and dumb days realistically, but I'm grown and I'm only seeking grown men. I'd hate to be haunted by a dude's messy, forgotten past though.

  6. I know my number +/- 1 though. I always feel like I've leaving one person off but I don't think I actually am.

    I can't and won't tell people what to do concerning their sex life outside of be responsible and safe. But I promise you, things like this are much easier the less you "get around" I can tell you most if not all the names and time ranges of when things happened.

    But I've also had a chick tell me that she had been with like 50 dudes at that time…after we had sex like the night before. I wasn't mad, just threw me for a loop.
    My recent post My 2012 gaming year in review

  7. Nah, it's not important to keep track, imo. Dont see how it necessarily benefits you if you do, however it doesn't hurt you if you have I suppose.

    For me I don't see where there is a point I would start keeping a list.

    I don't remember all last names….hell or even all first names to be honest. I know quite of few of you commenters here participated in that "30 things a man should do before 30" questionaire a few weeks back so EYE know some of y'all lying if you say you remember all last names, lol. Then again, maybe I'm the only one that doesn't facebook friend all the random *internet connection lost*

  8. Is it important to keep track of the people you’ve slept with over the years? Do you think it comes a point in time when you have to start keeping a list or do you just give up after a while?

    when i was single, I used to write my list out every 6 months of who i slept with.

    Would it make you skeptical of a person if they told you that they didn’t keep track of how many people they’ve slept with and would you continue to date them?

    Women lie about their numbers. I personally count ANY level of "physical intimacy". That includes broads I got mouf from or gave mouf to.
    If a woman told me she didn't know how many or didn't know, no. She will be a piece of ass forever in my eyes.

    What’s each of their last names? honestly don't remember them all, but 97%
    Would you still sleep with them today? Married now but when I was single, only a select few.
    What are they up to these days? some I have no idea, some I may chop it up in passing on facebook or mutual friends.

  9. My numbers are low, I get called out on being a low key lesbo..When it comes to men I have self control, maybe because they make sex seem like it will be available to me whenever, wherever.

    Before I started having sex, I would tell guys I was a virgin and planned on it being that way until. These potentials maybe thought they had a chance of "de-virginizing" me , by asking to be in a relationship.I could not take the relationships I attempted as a virgin seriously, because of that underlying fact that there was no intimate touching, kissing, holding, or boning lol. I let those boyfriends know they could sleep with other people, as long as they knew I would not be sleeping with them, because I had no desire.

    I finally had sex at like 20 on my terms out of my own desire which arrived only out of making sure I was not a lesbian lol.It was with my boyfriend, 5 years and 2 boyfriends later my number is now at 3.
    I could not bring myself to have sex with more then 1 guy per year or a one night stand, but I don't feel that someone who truly is enjoying sex is a whore male or female, and I would not judge them.

    1. LOL i think my number is low 2, but the amount of times I have been intimate with the people I have been with is very high.

  10. Im 28, female. The last time I counted, my number was 21. I've stopped counting. I practice safe sex and I'm more selective of who I have sex with now.
    I will lie though if any dude asks me. They can't handle the truth. Thankfully for me, I've lived in 3 different continents so these guys don't know each other.

  11. I’ve always wondered about the whole “what’s your number ” thing. I know of some women who use the number thing as a tool to separate themselves into a hierarchy. Women wont admit it, but when they hear about a woman or come across a woman with a higher number they secretly give that woman the side eye. And some men will do the same thing to women as well. The double standard definitely exists when it comes to the number of sexual partners between men and women, but with all that said the fact of the matter is just because a woman has a number of sexual partners in her lifetime it doesn’t make her a ruined woman. Another fact is that condoms don’t protect you from all STD’s….with all of that being said I think it would be wise to allow the person you’re involved with be comfortable in telling you their FULL sexual history. That kind of information is important. That level of comfort gives you an opportunity to not only protect yourself but it also gives any potential for an exciting sexual relationship room to grow.

  12. It may be a good idea to keep track of one's number of partners. It's not that difficult to do. A simple notation of sorts in a journal or any other preferred form of documentation would suffice. Its harmless. Perhaps at some point it could even serve as a good trip down memory lane once the list is revisited.

    Then again, sometimes looking at the list can be a reality check. Depending on how active one has been, it may evoke a personal 'wow' moment for the individual. Its interesting that as people we tend to keep track of other things in our lives, i.e. jobs we've worked & where, degrees we have earned, awards we've won, Friends we have on FB, etc,. But as far as people we have been intimate with, many see no point in remembering. Some don't even want to. Odd seeing as though 'not remembering' fails to negate the swabbing of love regions that occurred with the forgotten soul(s). lol. Is it a means of running away from one'self? Perhaps. Or could it simply be not that important to the individual to make note of such things. Maybe. Who knows? Everyone has their reasons.

    -Mr. SoBo

  13. I'm 23 and don't have a number. I can't really relate to this article, but when I tell people this they always look at me like I'm from some foreign land.

  14. If it was up to me i would have married my first but well i was young and Nieve…either way numbers don't count to an extent. Yes I've had my one night stands and some were the best sex i ever had. Do i feel like a bad person, no. You only live once. I'm not going to save my self for some man to teach me about my body no way. At my age 27 i am fully aware of what it is i want and how i can get there, all was learned from experience. Do i keep count no, could i make a list, yes if i wanted to. But from experience only guys who care about numbers are usually inexperienced themselves or insecure. Neither of which i am interested in. Lucky for me i'm with someone who never even asked.


Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Get SBM Delivered

Get SBM Delivered

Single Black Male provides dating and relationship
advice for today's single looking for love

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This