I consider myself still very new to the corporate world. In May, I will be out of college for two years so there is still much for me to see in the “real world.” In my short time in the office space, there was one experience that to this day cracks me up. Allow me to paint the picture for you all.
It’s October 2011 and I’m at a state training in Harlem for my new job. At this point I had been working for a couple of weeks but new people were still being hired. I walk into training and what do ya’ know there are two new, very pleasant looking women.
As a guy in the workplace, you can’t front. It’s real nice when some new women end up working with you. It’s just nice to see nice women; it helps the day go by. Now it just so happens that no one is sitting with these young ladies. With them being new, I decided I would sit with them and introduce myself. What ensued thereafter was nothing short of what I find hilarious. You see, as the day went on the other guys in the office were doing their damndest to flirt with these women. The problem with their approach was that it was sophomoric. They made a lot of silly comments towards them, got their names wrong, etc. Not the best way to leave a first impression. Fast forward to today. I’m still on great terms with both ladies and those guys never got what they were looking for.
Today’s post is about workplace romance. Some people are completely against it and I think that’s with good reason. I have no empirical evidence to back this up but as a man, I would think more men are comfortable with this than not. The example I gave you earlier was essentially how not to go about approaching a woman in the workplace. I believe discretion is everything in most areas of life.
The workplace is really no different from school. You’d be surprised the kinds of nonsense that goes on in the office. Everyone doesn’t have the highest level of maturity. That’s why you have to also beware of people who simply like to gossip. The advances you decide to make with someone on the job should be extremely subtle. That woman will talk to her girl on the job about it, and you need to be sure all your moves are flattering.
You have to move like someone is always watching, so that means you can’t be too obvious with your approaches. Fellas, you also have to take the time to feel a woman out. It’s extremely important you figure out the type of woman you’re pursuing because it can truly blow up in your face. For example, learn about how far you can take a joke with a woman or even flirt, preferably beforehand. A guy on my job was fired for sending a text of his beef to a woman he liked on the job. Apparently, she didn’t want to see it and reported him.
I’m not saying do not text a woman what you want to text her, that’s all on you. What you must bear in mind is that he paid the ultimate price because he didn’t feel that girl out enough. Men, we have to be very cognizant of our boundaries, especially in the workplace.
A woman has to be receptive for you to be able to engage with her romantically in the workplace. You have to be able to trust that she won’t spread any foul rumors about you. In the event of a breakup, you also have to make sure that you end things amicably. The biggest hang-up most women have with these type of relationships is that they feel it’ll make things awkward. It’s my mantra that things become awkward only if you make it awkward. For two people to participate in a casual romantic relationship or something more, both parties have to be adults about it. There’s no doubt that romance in the workplace can be exciting. I’m all for the excitement; live this life and create memories. My only advice is do not go into these situations without weighing the pros and cons. In other words, keep your beef to yourself untill you know the coast is clear.
These are my words and I make no apologies.
“I’m not a biter, I’m a writer for myself and others.” Brooklyn born dude trying to figure out this life just like you. Come on this journey with me.
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