Home Featured Size Matters: 5 Reasons Why Being Well Endowed Is Way Overrated

Size Matters: 5 Reasons Why Being Well Endowed Is Way Overrated


Since the beginning of time, one question has reigned supreme when discussing the parts of a man most associated with manhood and masculinity. It is a question to witch modern science has dedicated decades of study, and one for which nations have crumbled. The question: Does size matter?

Generally, when the size question is broached, it is done so in relation to a man’s ability or err, um… inability to satisfy a woman in bed, but today, I want to look at it from a different perspective. Today, I want to prove to you all why size absolutely matters and why being blessed with a larger than average endowment in your nether regions sucks a whole lot more than you might think.

Lets jump dive right in (see what I did there).

5) Being Well-Endowed Means Wardrobe Choices Must Be Made With Care.

A few weeks back, I decided I needed to go shopping. It’d been awhile since I’d bought new pants and I wanted to get a few pairs that straddled the line of casual and dressy. Basically, I was going for the look on the left, but once I actually got the pants on, I was looking way more like the pic on the right. Not cool.

photo (2)

And it doesn’t end at just pants. Under garment shopping is completely different when well endowed. Basically, when you’re well endowed, you have to have underwear for every occasion. You can never wear straight up boxer shorts — that’s out of the question. But, if you’re going to be wearing jeans that aren’t super tight, you can get away with like a looser fitting pair of boxer briefs. A suit, or any sort of dress pant requires boxer briefs that are probably a size or two smaller than what you would normally wear – just to keep everything secure.

There’s nothing worse then when you need to do laundry and you don’t have an acceptable draws/pants combination to wear to work. Like, you have dress pants, but all of the undergarments you’d usually wear with those dress pants need to be laundered. It basically means, you can’t get up from your desk all day. And you ladies don’t make it any easier on us do you? We see you looking. Stop it.

Let’s not even talk about wearing sweatpants. There’s really no acceptable way for a well endowed male to wear sweatpants outside of the confines of his home… like ever. Unless you you want to end up like this:


4) Being Well Endowed Means Not All Toilets Are Created Equal

What’s Wrong With This Picture?

Take a look at the picture above. See anything wrong with this toilet. Looks like one you’d find in your basic, run of the mill public bathroom doesn’t it. When you’re well endowed, toilets like these are completely unusable if you need to cop a squat or drop a deuce.

***Disclaimer*** – This next part is pretty disgusting, but we family right? I’m just keeping it real.

The problem with most public toilets is that the bowls are way too shallow. When you’re a well-endowed man and you sit on one of these toilets, your mini-me most definitely hangs down into the toilet water. Yuk, Yuk, Yuk. Forget the fact that no amount of flushing can wash away what that toilets previous sitters may have done to it – even if you just pretend you’re the first person to ever use that particular toilet, it still gets extra cringe inducing when whatever you’re getting rid of finds its way into the water… the same water your little big guy is dipping his head in. That awkward moment when you feel the log you just sh*tted touch your johnson… worst feeling ever. I know – it’s disgusting, but these are the sorts of things well-endowed men have to deal with on a daily basis. Shame on whoever wrote up the standard specs for public toilets.

Gon’ head and keep the party going by swinging over to page 2 —->

13) Being Well Endowed Means Your Adolescence Sucked.


Have you any idea how awkward life can be when you’re a hormone ravaged 14 year old whose legs have yet to hit any sort of growth spurt, but whose man-parts are 100% fully-growed-up? It is the worst. Normal sized kids could probably hide unwanted erections. Not me. The following is a true story.

So, I’m 14 years old, sitting in math class. I hate math so, I’m not really paying attention. My mind starts to wonder off and next thing I know, the flag is flying at full staff if you know what I mean. But there’s at least 30 minutes left in class so, I’m good. I’m sure it’ll turn off before it’s time to get up and leave right? Wrong. Teacher notices I’m not paying attention so of course he calls on me.

“Why don’t you come up to the board and solve this equation?”

“I’m sorry Mr. —-, I can’t. I don’t know the answer.”

“We’ll work through it together, just come on up.”

I’m panicking now – the little big soldier down below is pretending he doesn’t hear what’s transpiring – marching along to his own tune. Plus, now the whole class is looking at me, so I can’t do my patented flip move where I reach in my pocket and flip him upward toward my belly button, tucking him in neatly under my belt and hiding him under my shirt. What to do, what to do. I try stalling

“Can I just do the next one Mr. —?”

“Look, you can either come up here and do this problem, or you can leave my classroom.”

The walls are closing in. Still trying to stall, I just put my head down on the desk. This act of insubordination doesn’t go over so well.

“Alright, that’s it, get out of my classroom.”

I stay at my desk with my head down.


I’m finished. I have no options. I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place, literally. My only hope is executing the most deft example of the flip move ever executed in the history of puberty. I reach down to grab my books from under my desk pretending to gather my stuff to leave the room. I put my left hand in my pocket to start the flip, but just as I’m grabbing him, the girl in front of me turns around to see what’s taking me so long. I panic and yank my hand out of my pocket mid-flip. Sh*t. I just made it worse. I executed the dreaded half flip. Instead of my guy landing neatly up under my belt, he’s all leaning off to the side, jutting out into my pocket.

My life is over. The whole class is watching as I begin to slide out of my desk. Are you picturing this happening in slow motion… because in real life, it definitely happened in super slo mo.

And then… LIGHTBULB. It came to me like a vision: The most brilliant thought I ever had in my life. I stand and immediately bend over to pick up my bookbag, but I pick it up from the bottom and as I pull it toward my waste, concealing my massiveness, I purposely spill out all of the contents. The whole class busts out laughing… including my math teacher.

“You know what, just forget it. See me after class.”

After class I got written up for 4 hours of detention. Four wasted hours of my life I can never get back, all because of my abnormal, in-concealable nether regions.

The most important moment in the life of a well endowed male is the moment he first realizes he’s well endowed. Usually, it doesn’t happen in his first few sexual encounters because usually, the young lady he’s with is just as much a novice, and just as inexperienced as he is. No. The well endowed man realizes just how well endowed he is when he pulls his guy out for the first time in front of a woman who’s seen and experienced a few things. When she looks at your joint, and then looks at you and does this:

I have officially arrived.
I have officially arrived.

You life is changed forever. It just makes everything different. It alters how you approach women, it alters how you compete and compare yourself to other men… it changes everything. Here are a few typical thoughts of a well endowed man:

“Can’t believe she acting like she don’t wanna return my calls. Bet this d*ck change her mind.”

“Damn… he just copped that new Audi. Joint is crazy. But I bet my d*ck bigger tho. Pause, No mo.”

“Oh she got a little boyfriend now. I bet I could still hit if I wanted to. She love my d*ck.”

When you’re well endowed, you have to constantly remind yourself that not everybody in the whole world knows that there’s greatness between your legs so you can’t expect the whole world to just tremble around you. It’s a struggle. Really.

Remember that Beyonce joint “Ego” that Kanye jumped on. What the hell do you think that song is really about.

“Me and my ego, and he go wherever we go. My Ego is my imaginary friend he was with me when I was only imagining.”

“It’s too big, it’s too wide, it’s too strong, it won’t fit, it’s too much, it’s too tough, he talk like this because he can back it up.”

Now, don’t get it twisted, there are definitely some distinct advantages to being well endowed when it comes to sex. For one, it allows you to hold all sorts of fun and different positions. I can’t imagine trying to execute the lotus blossom or the landslide were I not blessed. But, that aside, sex for the well endowed man is often way better in theory than in actual practice. It usually starts out great as ladies are usually excited to see what you’re working with. Once the actual deed begins however, it can quickly devolve into a game of tag, played out on your mattress, as you chase them up, down and all around your bed. It’s really exhausting.

Also, certain sexual activities are almost always a no when you’re well endowed. “You want to put that where? Are you crazy?”

Also, it’s damn near impossible to get good dome when you’re well endowed. Do you know how depressing it is to come to the realization that there are parts of my manhood that will never feel the warmth of a woman’s mouth. Seriously. Dudes who have smaller joints, by default, get good dome every single time out the gate.

Life just ain’t fair sometimes.

There you have it folks. Five reasons why being well endowed is overrated. This post is kind of an SBM Throwback. Since the site has grown, and since the original core staff has gotten older, we’ve gotten a little PC in our approach, not wanting to offend our political connects. Today, let’s take it back to the good ole days. Fellas, my bad if this post alienates some of y’all. No disrespect. I envy y’all in many ways. Not really, but maybe a little … no pun. For the rest of y’all, can ya’ll relate? No mo. Ladies – have you ever noticed any of the above or dealt with a guy who you really couldn’t handle. Let’s get busy in the comments. Lol.


  1. bro don’t hate size is a good thing to have believe that. Especially if you know how to use it ain’t no dude trying to be small down there.

  2. Lmao….this is similar to pretty women/ tall men problems.

    I’ve heard a lot of people men and women speak on number 1. Men say women really can’t handle a big stick and women say “what’s a big stick worth if he doesn’t know how to use it”.

    Question: What are the standard entry level qualifications for the “Big D Club”? The average member is anywhere form 4-6 inch, so Is it 7 or better, can a man be disqualified from the club if he’s long but not thick (I’ll take a thick 6 before a garden snake 8)?

  3. Good post. I had no idea about most of it. This is enlightening. If I had forgotten I was single, I damn sure remembered it this morning. lol

  4. lmao. This is a good post.
    My co-worker's son is already well-endowed and he is 7. He refuses to wear briefs, only boxers because they give him a "wedgie" but she said she noticed its really that the friction give him an erection and it hurts. She feels bad but she can't explain to him that he has a big D. The story had me dying.

    1. No loving mother should share that kind of information about her children with others…

      "She feels bad but 'she' can't explain to him that he has a big D"

      ^^^ This is why young boys need their fathers in their lives…

  5. This is similar to the "overratedness" of having a large butt. You use more toilet paper, guys who aren't well endowed have a hard time getting it in(pun intended), no matter what you wear people can still see it. etc. However, i couldn't see myself without that tank back there. So all you well endowed fellows, I know it's a cruel cruel world out there, but stand strong cause someone will love ya'll! lol hahahahah
    My recent post Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies

  6. Oh wow this post made laugh so hard i'm crying… Your story in the classroom… Oh my god i was still an intern when i had a lil boy having an erection in my class… I panicked as much as he was panicking ahahahah…
    And about number 1… I mean i know my body… If i know it won't fit… DEUCES…

  7. Eh, I'm a woman so I get it to a certain extent. But I can speak to tall women/deep vagina problems. Lol…I'm 5'10 and I don't know if vagina depth correlates to height for women, (b/c we all know P size and width does NOT correlate in men…) but I have a very deep V which make it very hard to be sexually satisfied b/c most men, to be quite honest, ain't working with much. The only man who is ever been able to satisfy me WELL has been my first love, my only love, and the father of my son who is at 9.5 inches – very thick…etc. We met in college and even to this day, he has said how I am the only woman he has ever been with in his whole entire life that could take him, all of him, when his "boy is all the way up". Even though I do have to confess that at certain angles and such, I can get stabbed up pretty bad. Luckily that doesn't happen too often, but still often to keep both our a$$es in check! Lol… I know he has had to adjust the size of his "boy" as he calls it, for women in the past and try not to be up "all the way up" b/c he just couldn't run all the way into most women.

    But like I said before, women who have long/deep V's have their own set of issues when it comes to being pleased. Sorry for TMI, but most times w/ every other guy but him, I have had to resort to anal sex b/c that is the only way or me to be satisfied b/c their P's were either too small or too thin or too short to get it done the proper way. The funny thing is I actually can't have comfortable anal sex w/ my first love b/c he is just too big! And he knows I've done it w/ others and he hates that I don't let him do it and I tell him, "It's b/c your P is too big! Lol…if you'd like to trade in what you have just we can have anal sex all the time be guest". Lol…of course he thinks I'm ridiculous but it what it is. Weird thing is, years ago in college, anal sex w. him was really easy and fun…but now, please – too painful and too much. Oh and yes, he does have problems w. oral sex and women who just can't go all the way w/o choking and dying. Lol…I'm afraid I am one of those women! I try my best, but going full deep throat for him and slobbing down the way I could smaller peen dudes, just can't happen. :-/

  8. lmao you actually put this in a post but it is true…my awkward moment came in 8th in the pizza line when this girl I had the biggest crush on me started flirting with me. everybody started laughing, lets just say I didn't eat lunch that day..the only black teacher in the school chased me down and I told her what happened. she calmed me down and told me it wasn't my fault and everything would be ok then she whispered in my ear "it could've been worse, at least they know you got something"

  9. This post…

    In somewhat related news, if men know as little about their Richards as women know about their va-jay-jays, folks might wanna check this “15 Things You Didn’t Know About Your [Richard]” for more interesting facts http://www.menshealth.com/mhlists/penis_facts/Pen… A girl actually sent me this link because I had no idea what a “grower vs shower” was until like 2 months ago.

    And now it’s time for WIM to strut…


  10. These convos are kind of odd to me. The first time I had sex I didn’t even cum. It was painful and I was younger but didn’t realize that I needed a bigger condom. I never thought much of it tho. Everybody swears they wear magnums and girls will tell any guy anything lol. Anyway, I’d add buying condoms. I can find my size in some stores but they’ll be more expensive and they rarely have variety. They don’t really make much variety.

    1. Some guys know their limits! i know a guy who is long and he's not super thick but thick enough. One time we were about to get it in, and I asked him do you want a magnum or this one(it was a regular durex). He said "ummm" and there was a period of silence, so to save him the embarrassment I gave him the regular one. But i have met guys who are below average and they will say , "I wear those magnums!" What? you surely dont! lol
      My recent post Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies

  11. #2 is sooooo true tho. And with dudes a little less blessed in that area tend to overcompensate which sometimes, as a female, is much more satisfying coz dudes who are blessed naturally can sometimes be lazy thinking their little men(more like big men) is all they need. But then again, who doesn't like a big D?

  12. Good post! yes it is very true. As a female having a man that is well endowed is a gift in a curse. Want grade A head, well sir you are too big and jist won't fit. This post also provided great insight to some aeras I didn't think of.

  13. I had to deal with #4 and #3 as an Adolescence; #2 happens a lot and I don't get too many issues with #1.

    I don't do boxer briefs much and I stopped wearing briefs at 7th grade

  14. interesting post, but it all depends on the woman, if your girl/spouse doesn't mind your size and your not that big, then it really doesn't matter. Besides I have talked to women who personally didn't like horse size johnsons anyway. And besides if you're erect than you shouldn't still be that small, should you? In the end, if your happy with yourself and your woman is definitely cool with it then it is what it is.. However don't go sending pics of your johnson to females because if you think you're big but they've seen bigger you're setting yourself up for a serious clowning.

  15. There's sooooooooooo much to laugh about, LMBO!

    Funny#1: I know I am NOT the only lady dissecting the writing style to see if I could figure out which of the SBM staff is strolling around with a MONSTROSITY in his pants!!!!! LMBO!

    Funny#2: The fellas are real cocky today (see what I did there, LOL)…talkin bout how they can relate! #PROOF But, wait…we can't ask for that for real, lol. #ClothedPROOF

    Funny#3: When I finally make it to an SBM event, lol…I'll think of this post, its anonymous writer, and the temptation to eyeball regions to figure out this great mystery will be especially real, LMBO! Thanks, guys! I kinda hate you now…LMBO!

    This is not my classiest SBM moment…and I'm okay with that, lol. Sometimes, PC doesnt' cut it…

    1. *tears* this is my favorite comment of the day! and I am gonna keep quiet about who I think the author is.

      Also, this post just made me really miss someone from my past – damn you SBM!

    2. I honestly didn't realize it said SBM Staff until I saw one of the commenters point it out. I really thought it was a specific writer before I knew anything. I could have sworn I saw his name up there. Mind playing tricks on me in the morning.

      LOL @ClothedProof

  16. #BigDickProblems101

    SN: This reminds me of my 1st BF (a nerd w/ 8.5 inches…it was insane to say the least!)
    Way too much for my innocent eyes (at the time!)
    We broke up after he cheated only cuz I wasn't "ready"…smh!
    *Good Read!*

  17. Lol at the writer of this post. Love it.

    IMHO, a well-endowed man is a blessing. I’ve never been with anyone “small” per se. Avg for the most part. One of my past partners was short-ish (6″) but ridiculously thick. It was an interesting experience. Each stroke felt great on the walls but just wasn’t enough. One long, but slim who it kind of felt like was poking at my insides at the apex of his thrusts.

    My perfect match (who my body misses to this day!) was the perfect length and width. In every position, at any time, any speed, any force. My favorite thing to see him in are sweatpants or scrubs. Can’t help that instant heat that washes over me.

    1. "My perfect match (who my body misses to this day!) was the perfect length and width. In every position, at any time, any speed, any force."


      *sings* I tip my 40 to your memoryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #GangstaLean

      *tips imaginary 40*


  18. the day i get a chance to read SBM in i don't know how long and y'all have this. LOL. alright.

    no comment whatsoever.

    funny post though.

    1. Yes, I was/am a huge fan, but didn't comment much. Today's post made me come (see what I did there?) out of hiding.

      I have had the spectrum. I agree with the commenter that guys that have "smaller peens" tend to have mad head and hand skills is most accurate. There is compensation to be made. I have had my best head from a small guy.

      My first was a big man, so to speak, and he knew/knows it. To THIS day, he can call and I give in. There is nothing like a blessed man taking you to the promise land.

      And what's up with the peen in the commode situation? Why not hold it or sit it on you thigh? If I knew me dud was allowing his man parts to float in toilet water at Target, we would be over. Can you say INFECTION? Yikes!

      1. This.

        "And what's up with the peen in the commode situation? Why not hold it or sit it on you thigh? If I knew me dud was allowing his man parts to float in toilet water at Target, we would be over. Can you say INFECTION? Yikes! "

  19. This was hilarious. I almost forgot I was reading it at work had to hop on my iPad to finish. I have been lucky most of my dating life to have encountered the well endowed and while fun. painful is in close second. I didn't realize to what extent until my recent beau (who is average) and I did the do. And not only did I feel like an oral pro lol but I was more relaxed cause I wasn't tense from worrying he would hurt me. It was actually more enjoyable. So for my average guys out there much love and I am glad to be rooting for your team now.

  20. This was um…different LOL

    The sweatpants/basketball shorts thing is definitely a struggle. While women ogle and appreciate prints, it's an embarrassing inconvenience when you're trying to make a quick run to Target or the bank. And #1, yeah. No gonna over-share, but yeah.

  21. LMBAO. Lying ass n*ggas. Everybody got a story and down with the crew. All the fellas have one and all the ladies slayed them. I like to tuck mine under and rest it in my butt cheeks. lol.

    Yall funny

  22. #2 Is hilarious. I died 3x. I call that big d**k swag. You can sometimes spot it or smell it on a man before he ever takes his clothes off. Kind of works like gaydar–though I suppose it goes off far less often unfortunately. That probably makes me sound sort of slutty lmao but this post and its comments only allow but so much tact. Did you guys hear the one about the well endowed guy who bursts his girl's ovary?

  23. I am so dying of laughter!!! My friends and I jokes about being 'size-queens or size-wh–res". I have to admit that i need a bit 'more' than average. However, i have had a partner who was definitely below average whom i thought reached into my vocal cords (through my Vg)- to this day i have NO idea how that happened. I also have been with someone who after i saw naked i refused to sleep with. I told him this was a 'NEW MATH" situation, 12 doesn't go into 4. He claimed he wasn't that big. I told him unless the women he previously slept with had sex with elephants, they were lying to him. To this day, he still laughs about that comment, but after that gut-wrenching sexperience with him, i can pass and not feel no way bad about it… still doesn't stop him from asking/hinting… lol

  24. I. Am. Sobbng. This was funny as hell.
    As for #1…..I got a question. Men with big hands, you ever play with a Wii? At some point after braking a control or two you realize less is more with the wand, right? So how come y'all never figure out any other setting than jackhammer on your..nvm

  25. Its definitely a problem – I have a very small V and never had children – so I actually broach the subject before sleeping with someone – to avoid wasting time and trouble and getting into someone when its not going to work – it doesnt help that I'm into black men – the well-endowed stereotype is there for a reason – its not always true, but it is often true

  26. As a man with a small penis I had to get over because a women might love me for my personality and security and being kind hearted….yeah right, I know. So, to my well endowed homies, be lazy with some of the ladies so maybe a guy like me would have a chance. And TRUST ME, oral can only get you so far.

  27. First comment for me on this site and i must say…all these female responses hit right in the self esteem area lol. Seems to be go BIG or go home out here hahaha.

  28. Great Post!!! As an individual who grew up with the above-mentioned issues I can attest to what this article is saying. Hence why I only wore boxers when I entered high school. I like boxer-briefs but it is challenging to find comfortable ones that fit men above the status-quo down there. Until I came across this website ===> http://www.endowwear.com Check them out!!! ENDOWED Underwear for the well-endowed man. Nice quality and design underwear. Glad to see someone is doing something about it!!!!
    My recent post Hello world!

  29. Great Post!!! As an individual who grew up with the above-mentioned issues I can attest to what this article is saying. Hence why I only wore boxers when I entered high school. I like boxer-briefs but it is challenging to find comfortable ones that fit men above the status-quo down there. Until I came across this website ===> http://www.endowwear.com Check them out!!! ENDOWED Underwear for the well-endowed man. Nice quality and design underwear. Glad to see someone is doing something about it!!!!
    My recent post Hello world!

  30. I’m a very well endowed afro indian guy ( around 10 inches thick ), from Bounds Green, all the women want a piece of it, big is good, thick is better.If you can’t satisfy your girlfriend, email me: [email protected] i will happy you, that’s what friens are for.

  31. Of course size matters rather have to much than not enough! We women want to feel fulfilled & satisfied I would think. I’m sure my husband would fall into the category of being very well endowed & having a large (Long) one at 23 cm’s ( 9 in.) would be fair to say. The 1st. time I saw all of him in his beautiful, fully erect glory. I was a little amazed & scared at first but very curious, after we had made love for the 1st. time I knew he was the one for me!He knows just how to please me & make me very happy in more ways than one! I consider myself to very fortunate woman to have met & married such an incredible man. I’m simply loving every smooth inch of him & I simply can’t get enough of him! 😉


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