Recently, someone asked me if “men enjoy being the sideman?” For those of you who are unfamiliar, the “sideman” refers to a man who plays the side-role to a woman he knows is in a committed relationship. His equal of the opposite sex is usually referred to as the “sidechick.”
My answer: yes and no.
Most men are fine playing the sideman because it is usually a relationship dynamic many men are striving to achieve anyway. All benefits and no responsibility? Sign men up!
Let’s face it, the role of most sidemen is sexual, usually strictly. Frankly, a number of men spend their entire lives seeking out sex-based relationship and some men will even exit a relationship if they are forced to provide a woman with more than just the promise of good sex and good times into infinity and beyond. However, as with most rules, there are exceptions.
Some men, like some women, will desire more than a sex-based relationship and in their selfish pursuits, they may ruin both your side-relationship and your main-relationship if they want and/or think there is an opportunity for more. This brings us to the premise of today’s post.
We all know cheating is wrong, but since cheating still occurs, if you’re going to be bad, you might as well be good at it. In fact, one relationship expert – term used loosely – has even advocated that the key to a happy relationship is to let your man cheat, and in an interesting turn of events, as women become more and more financially and emotionally independent from men, more and more women are unfaithful.
I was lamenting how bad a number of celebrities are at cheating and how they are caught in the most ignorant, disrespectful ways. It is one thing to cheat; it is another to simultaneously make your wife/husband look like an idiot in front of the entire world during the process. My complaints did not fall on deaf ears. Someone (who asked to remain nameless for obvious reasons) shared a post with me addressing this exact issue titled, 15 Easy Steps to Managing Your Mistress. While geared towards men, these tips can easily apply to women as well. Below are five of the 15 tips in no particular order.
15. No matter how much she looks back at it or how good she rides it, never under any circumstance have unprotected sex. Women lie a lot. Of course she told you that she’s on the pill.
14. When with your mistress always pay in cash, never use company credit cards, and always burn the receipts after.
8. Know that throughout this experience you run the risk of getting caught. Choose your mistress wisely. You want a woman you can trust to not go ballistic when you have to let her go.
7. Conduct yourself as a gentleman, always be honest. Make it very clear from day one that you have no intentions to ever leave your current wife.
6. Your impromptu fling should never take priority in your schedule. Let the rendezvous be spontaneous or in between work shifts.
4. Say adios to all your social media, this means no Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram. If you want to play in the big leagues you’re going to have to leave these childish games behind.
3. Know that the cyberspace is not your friend. Under no circumstance should you send emails. Emails are forever so are texts but take your chances with texts.
You can check out the complete list by clicking here.
1) What is your favorite or least favorite tip from the list? 2) What additional tips would you offer the monogamously impaired? 3) If you would otherwise never find out, would you still want your husband/wife to admit they were unfaithful?