Home Featured Why It’s Easier To Support Someone Coming Out of the Closet When You’re Not Close To Them

Why It’s Easier To Support Someone Coming Out of the Closet When You’re Not Close To Them

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Yesterday, Jason Collins decided to come forward with an announcement that he was gay. I was real happy for him and I made sure to let him finish but when you hear an announcement like that, you always have to stop and think for a second. I reviewed my timeline on Twitter and my newsfeed on Facebook and my first reaction was, “Tons of supporters, but I know some of you offline and I know for a fact you’re only saying that, you don’t mean it.” I made a tweet and said,

“Woman are so supportive of a man coming out of the closet until it’s their boyfriend/husband.”

Because in reality, that’s never going to go over as well as man who is not sleeping with you.



In my conversations with women about relationships in DC, Atlanta and NYC, they always express a fear that the men they’re dating might (perhaps) be on the low. The Census Bureau estimates that Black men have the highest percentage of gay men at 4.6%. However, when you talk to Black women living in these popular cities, they will estimate that it’s about 1 in 4 men who are openly gay or “on the low.” You don’t have to delve much further into the conversation to find out that when asked, “If you found out that the guy you were dating was gay, what would you do?” Almost all of them will say, “I’d immediately go get tested.” While most women will do that regardless of if they found out that their partner was “on the low” or cheating on them with another woman, there’s one interesting thing about that question.

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I never said that he cheated on her, I only asked what she would do if she found out he was gay.

The answer was resounding, a few that they may have been exposed to an STD. Ironically, when most women are asked what they would do when they found out their partner was cheating on them with another woman, they usually say something like, and “I would break the windows out his car.” First reaction – anger, not fear. People should never be rushed out of the closet, they should come out when they get good and ready, it’s their life not ours. However, for most women they’d prefer the men they date did it as soon as possible. Instead of thanking him for his honesty and supporting him, they’re upset and in fear.

Men aren’t innocent in this conversation either. Many of the men who would come out and tweet in support of a man coming out of the closet are actually just as full of it as anyone else. I spoke to a chapter brother of mine yesterday and I said, “It bothers me because I see some of our frat brothers tweeting in support of Jason Collins, but I know for a fact that’s only cool to them because they aren’t close to him. They support gay marriage and homosexuality but wouldn’t like it if there was a gay brother in their chapter.” I’d rather they just be honest or be quiet.

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When men find out their friends or family members are gay while they may support them, their relationship changes. Common excuses are, “Well, I didn’t feel like we had that much in common anymore. We usually bonded over partying and chicks and that just seemed different now” or “I support his life decisions, but I don’t really agree with that for myself.”

That brings me to my next point, Chris Broussard while I don’t agree with him, is completely entitled to his belief that homosexuality is wrong.

Listen, we can’t ask Chris to jeopardize his faith and salvation because we feel differently. It’s perfectly okay for someone to not see homosexuality as a sin, and it’s perfectly okay for someone to view it as a sin. As the years go by we have to be careful that just because the court of public opinion makes a decision that something is acceptable, people shouldn’t asked to sacrifice their faith.

But when we start to attack people who have different views from us, we’re doing exactly what we don’t like done to us. We’re judging someone based on their religion, faith and beliefs. We wouldn’t like it if someone did that to us about our choice of lifestyle. I always like to remember that faith is a personal relationship with God. Which is why LZ Granderson is completely within his rights to vehemently disagree with Chris, but they remain friends. Also, when people are attacked for differing opinions, that’s when they hide their true feelings. Publicly they’re supporters of homosexuality and gay marriage, but privately they don’t condone it and don’t think it should happen.

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We’re able to support Jason Collins because I’m pretty sure none of us are dating him or sleeping with someone who may have slept with him. However, as we move forward as a society we’re facing the possibility that our children and close love ones will be gay. Our world is changing and that will be the true test. Not when a professional basketball player makes a decision to come out as being openly gay, it’ll be when it’s in our own homes and personal circles.

Maybe if we get to a point where we can learn to not only tolerate, but embrace, we’ll be a better society.

Comments like, “I don’t care about who the people I’m not sleeping with are sleeping with” are signs of tolerance. Rather than, “I’m happy that Jason has found love and passion in his life” which is a sign of embracing change. When someone comes out of the closet (as if one truly ever exists) and we stop saying, “Good for him” and start saying “Good for us” we’ll know that we’ve arrived in the 21st Century. We’ll know that the continuity of our society is intact and that we can continue to prosper as a world.

Dr. J

Comment(54)

  1. There's a difference between attacking someone for their opinions and attacking ignorance. I think it's completely fine to say that you believe homosexuality is a sin. If that's you're opinion that's fine. But when you compare being homosexual to being promiscuous or being a cheater, that's just ignorant. I have no problem with people chastising him for that. He deserves it.

    1. I agree 100%. You cant even give your opinion on homosexuality without someone thinking you are a bad person, especially if you are against it. If that's the lifestyle you choose, that is fine. But don't get upset with me if I don't support it.

      My recent post Stuff Black People Say

      1. No one thinks you’re a bad person if you don’t agree with homosexuality. The issue and attitudes come along when you try to chastise and demonize others who do believe in it. The issue comes when your beliefs interfere with the lives of others. No one has a problem with Chris Guy going “my personal beliefs don’t align with homosexuality, but my spiritual beliefs do align with treating others who don’t walk my path with respect, tolerance, kindness etc. You can do those things and still hold tight to your beliefs. Emphasis on “yours” because those beliefs should dictate your life not the lives of others. People aren’t asking you to agree with it, but at least be respectful, no different than if I am a Muslim or Jewish person, I may not agree with your religion but I respect your right to find Allah, God etc how you deem fit.

  2. I am not getting into this again, because honestly, this article, DarrkGable's article and Tunde's article from last week, all have a similar theme. My views on the topic and how it relates to religion are all there. I also don't want to copy and paste the same statement on the other article as well, so here it is.

    The push behind most of the of anti-gay or anti-gay marriage policies is religion based. So if you have a faction of society that basically says you are evil and the fact that you exist is a sin, then I think you can call that an attack. It doesn't have to be violent to be an attack. It doesn't even have to be coming from a "bad" place. The fact that some people believe that "these people" should be wiped from the earth is a mindset that I consider an attack.

    Sidenote: (Also, in DG's post he mentions that Chris didn't say he hates gay people or hope that they will burn in hell. So…we are going to gloss over the fact that most likely his belief IS that they will burn in hell?)

    So yeah, in theory it is great for us to be tolerant of all beliefs and not judge based on faith, but we forget the many ways faith can be used to destroy or to validate the prejudices we already have. We even have a very recent example of one such situation. I am not saying faith is wrong. I have faith. But being idealistic about the power that faith has is dangerous.

    1. Southerngyrl_ "The push behind most of the of anti-gay or anti-gay marriage policies is religion based."

      No, it really isn't. The church is just a useful pawn that gays and secular culture use to get society to accept hom0$exuality. The church stands firm by its stance that it is a sin, but many that never stepped foot in a church believe it's wrong also. But you can't attack society to get society to accept something, so the church is used as an attacker to make them gather empathy from society in general.

      (1/2)

      1. (2/2)
        Think about it: the church also says fornication and drunkenness is wrong, and there are a lot more people who want to go out on the weekends to get drunk and get laid than there are people who want to have g@y $ex. So why is it that the same people up in arms about what the church has to say on hom0$exuality could care less about what the church has to say about premarital $ex? And why aren't they attacking society in general?

        Because society already accepts $ex out of wedlock as the norm. Should the day come that society in general doesn't feel uneasy about g@ys, they'll leave the church alone. The same way the church was attacked as old-fashioned, uptight and prudish during the $exual revolution, but now people simply disregard the church's stance on fornication.

      2. Honestly, the more I think about it, people use the church to hide and defend their own hom0phobia.

        I certainly casts no stones, I'm a fornicator that tried numerous times to stop (did it for a little while). But the church places hom0$exuality, fornication and adultery all under $exual immorality. The most fervent attackers that say the Bible says hom0$exuality is wrong seem to not mind or give a pass on the other two. And that is what I see as the bigger problem; when hom0$exuality is placed on top of a hierarchy of sins because they are personally repulsed by it.

        1. I have seen plenty more religious based arguments against homosexuality and gay marriage than not. Sure some arguments exist that have nothing to do with religion, but for the most part, the large part of it is religious based. Lets not act like the church and other religious organizations are innocent bystanders in the fight against gay marriage or acceptance of homosexuals. They are for the most part, ringleaders.

          People base a lot of their beliefs on whether they think it is pleasing to their God. It doesn't matter if they haven't set foot in a church for 20 years. That is what faith is. As much as we think people have gotten away from it, there are people who still hold on hard to their beliefs. I have family members who still say "It is better to marry than to burn" in regards to a couple living together before marriage and/or engaging in premarital sex.

        2. "I have seen plenty more religious based arguments against homosexuality and gay marriage than not. Sure some arguments exist that have nothing to do with religion, but for the most part, the large part of it is religious based."

          That's because random-religion-isn't-important-to-me guy that thinks two men having $ex is sick doesn't have a forum, and the church does.

          "Lets not act like the church and other religious organizations are innocent bystanders in the fight against gay marriage or acceptance of homosexuals."

          Who's acting like it? They are. But let's not act like most people don't believe that way. For example, Eminem isn't exactly who I'd call a born-again believer, and he is the one going around saying, "pants or dress, hate f@gs? The answer's yes". And given his record sales, I'd say one or two lapsed believers don't seem to mind it.

        3. "As much as we think people have gotten away from it, there are people who still hold on hard to their beliefs."

          And? So you're saying they need to abandon their beliefs to conform to a secular standard? Why? Where is the so-called tolerance? Or is that just a one-way street?

          It's interesting that the Chik-Fil-A controversy was brought up in DarrkGable's thread. It was mentioned that some churches were bringing in busloads of people. Is that hatred for g@ys, or blowback from people being vilified for "hold(ing) on hard to their beliefs?" Would half of those people have joined the counter-protest if they weren't constantly being told how evil and backward they are because of their religion?

        4. Lets stop with the church is the victim nonsense. Often times religion, especially organized religion, is used to demonize people and behaviors.

          They can hold on to whatever beliefs they want. They don't have to abandon it, but do realize they are still intolerant whether they are holding picket signs or passively believing in something that says another person will burn in hell because they don't adhere to the same system. Your belief system isn't sacred to everyone, just to you. So if your faith determines that someone is evil and is going to hell, then I see nothing wrong with said person thinking you and your religion are bigoted and intolerant. You are free to believe whatever you want. And I am free to judge you on that basis.

        5. "Often times religion, especially organized religion, is used to demonize people and behaviors."

          People demonize people for a multitude of reasons. You are doing the same right now.

          "…they are still intolerant whether they are holding picket signs or passively believing in something that says another person will burn in hell because they don't adhere to the same system."

          So? How does believing someone is going to hell going to affect them? Muslims may think I am going to hell for cheerfully eating bacon. Yet, Muslims don't offend me in the slightest.

          "You are free to believe whatever you want. And I am free to judge you on that basis."

          And I'm free not to care. And I don't.

        6. LOL. You are hilarious. If someone believe you are evil and going to hell for not believing what they do, they can cause all sorts of troubles. Some of the trouble caused can be extremism and some can be legal. The bombing a couple of weeks ago is a good example. They can also try to pass laws to hinder the lives of others, which they have, in order to legislate something they consider against their perceived morality. Lets not act like people aren't still warring over religious beliefs, even in these days.

          I could care less if you care. You were the one who responded.

        7. "LOL. You are hilarious."

          Thanks. My humor does seem to pull the ladies in.

          Some of the trouble caused can be extremism and some can be legal. The bombing a couple of weeks ago is a good example.

          And the Sandy Hook shooting had nothing to do with "evil and going to hell". Supports my assertion that people fight and hate for a multitude of reasons.

          They can also try to pass laws to hinder the lives of others, which they have, in order to legislate something they consider against their perceived morality.

          Roe v. Wade did the same in the opposite direction. Supports my assertion that people hinder the lives of others for a multitude of reasons.

        8. Roe v. Wade did not hinder the lives/beliefs of anyone. It simply made abortions up to a certain time period, legal. Therefore, if you do not believe in abortions, you don't get one. If it is an option that you choose to take because of a lack of resources, parental assistance, trauma, potential death/illness, or simply because you think it's best for you, you can have one. No one is forcing people to get abortions, however with heavy right-wing Republicans vilifying LGBT community, they are in fact infringing upon their rights of others to live their lives or love, differently.

          So no, Roe v. Wade is NOT a valid argument here. I'm sorry, I had to clear that up.

        9. "Roe v. Wade did not hinder the lives/beliefs of anyone."

          I'm sure the dead babies would beg to differ, if they could. Death trumps "rights of others to live their lives or love, differently."

          No one is preventing g@ys from living their lives or loving differently, so that point isn't even true. If you are referring to same-$ex couples having legal rights, then I agree with you. They should have all the legal rights that straight couples have. But no one is keeping them apart or making it so they can't live their lives.

          Not only is Roe v. Wade valid, it is even more valid.

        10. Reallly? dead babies?
          Lets forget that you even said dead babies, I know I will, and deal with the idea that somehow the lives of the mothers mean nothing in regards to the rights of said "babies".

          Yeah dude. You are definitely reaching on this one.

          Updated: Why am I even responding to an abortion comment that used the terms dead babies? Yeah, take this as the first and last comment on this one. You all can talk to yourselves from hence on.

        11. So abortion doesn't end the life of the baby? And what percentage or ab0rtions is the life of the mother a factor? And I'm the one that's reaching?

        12. "Lets not act like people aren't still warring over religious beliefs, even in these days."

          Religion is responsible for only about 7% of the wars in the history of mankind. Most of that was due to Islam, which is a religion of the sword, so they're supposed to be fighting. Supports my assertion that people fight and hate for a multitude of reasons.

          "I could care less if you care.

          And you shouldn't care. My beliefs don't affect you, nor yours mine. Live and let live. See how that works?

        13. No you're hilarious because you are being contrary, but that is neither here nor there.

          Sandy Hook vs Boston bombers – one used a bomb and the other used guns. One is based on religious extremism, one isn't. Your point isn't made. Sorry. Of course there are instances when it does not occur, but my point is what CAN happen when your religion becomes so important to you that anything outside (or seen as opposed to it) of it is considered evil. Your point was not made.

          And notice that abortion clinics have been closing in many states for the last 15-20 years? Like I said before, they can use the law to hinder the lives of others. Point not made.

          Lets be honest, I never said in history. I said people are still warring over religious beliefs. Are means that it is still going on now. But thanks for the wikipedia explanation on the 7% claim. FYI-They are only counting what they consider to be "major" wars, so that actually leaves out any conflict that isn't considered to be worthy enough to be named or listed.

          Yes, beliefs do affect people, which is the whole point of my original post. Thanks for playing though.

        14. "No you're hilarious because you are being contrary, but that is neither here nor there."

          Contrary on what? Your entire comment only confirmed what I said: religion is by far the only thing people base their beliefs on. You reaffirmed every point.

          "But thanks for the wikipedia explanation on the 7% claim."

          I didn't get that from Wikipedia. Some people actually read books, you know. And of course it's major wars, they didn't include Joe Schmo's skirmish with his neighbor. But you said, "Lets not act like people aren't still warring over religious beliefs", so I mentioned the war data.

          "Yes, beliefs do affect people, which is the whole point of my original post."

          If that is the case, then we agree. But that wasn't the point of your original post. You wrote, "The push behind most of the of anti-gay or anti-gay marriage policies is religion based.", then went on to talk specifically about faith-based intolerance.

        15. The point of my original post was a response to the original article. I explained how faith can be used as a manner of passive attack against certain groups or individuals. The view that we not judge based on faith or beliefs sounds great unless your beliefs "requires" or "believes" said group needs to be destroyed or something of that nature.

          You said "My beliefs don't affect you, nor yours mine", and I refuted it because that is generally a cop out. Your beliefs DO affect people, hence the original paragraph.

        16. Hugh, I think you're a little firm in your use of the term "the church". If you view the church simply as everyone who believes in Christ, I think things get a little different.

          Not every bible scholar believes that homosexuality and sex outside of marriage fall under the flag of 'sexual immorality'. No where in the bible is there an explicit definition of what acts constitute sexual immorality. Most folks who believe the bible preaches against sex out side of marriage point to 1 Corinthians but if you read that book unencumbered by what folks have taught you that it means, I don't think it's as clear and unambiguous as we make it out to be.

        17. "Hugh, I think you're a little firm in your use of the term "the church"."

          I'm using it in the sense it's commonly used in these discussions. True, the church isn't a building, but the body of believers, but that's not how people are referring to it in these discussions.

          "Not every bible scholar believes that homosexuality and sex outside of marriage fall under the flag of 'sexual immorality'."

          True, Anglicans and Episcopalians do that. Which is why I mentioned in previous conversations if g@ys want to get married, there are churches who will do so.

          "No where in the bible is there an explicit definition of what acts constitute sexual immorality. Most folks who believe the bible preaches against sex out side of marriage point to 1 Corinthians…"

          There's also Matthew 5. And Galatians 5. And 2 Peter 2. And Hebrews 13. And Mark 10. Of course, some things aren't explicit, we see through a glass darkly and all, but some things are pretty clear.

        18. "…but if you read that book unencumbered by what folks have taught you that it means…"

          I know we only know each other through the blog, Facebook and a couple of e-mails, but I'm a little surprised you'd think I, of all people, would succumb to what "folks have taught (me) that it means."

        19. Mr Spradley it seems from various posts you are, to say the least supportive in what is considered immoral behavior. I appreciate you mentioning both Old and New Testament but you missed a point. God's Love. And in Love there is correction. As it has been stated, love the sinner hate the sin. We love the bros. and sis' of the LBGT community but remind them that the life style is described as an abomination. You want scriptures? But this same attitude goes to the fornicator , the back slider, etc.
          Once more I am thankful for your mention on the public sphere of the sacrifice of the savior. But I ask you sir, do you abuse grace? Do you abuse the forgiveness? And by that I mean we strive to do right daily or attempt to. If we do wrong , confess, remiss, and do better. So once the population control propaganda settles, and the matter of what folks do in private and why its made a headline? , perhaps you all of SBM will do a piece on faith and where it stands amongst the "New Black" millennials. No longer it seems we are the all believing , all thumping , sun up sun down church goers of our ancestors. Because I seen a bit of cynical-ism among our generation when it comes to faith. And as always in the End we will see what it will be!….. Peace to you.

    2. Just to be clear… about 75-80% of my post was not about Chris or religion. It's about when people close to us come out versus when we aren't close to them at all. I'm actually very surprised at the way people turned the discussion today, but am happy that it inspired at least some discussion.

  3. Please dont let my son be gay. Anybody else can do what they want…just please not my son. I would be crushed and sad for him…cuz going in the back door hurts lol. nah for real though…dont let my son be gay. at least bi…lol but not gay…please.

    1. Every gay man doesn't engage in anal sex.

      I'm not really taking your whole comment too seriously, but I can't help but ask how being bisexual is "better" than being "homosexual?" I am just too curious about all the various perspectives in the world.

  4. It’s political correctness. People support Jason Collins because they don’t want to be the person that doesn’t support Jason Collins (well except internet trolls). Chris Broussard took the road less traveled and said how he truly felt, I can’t knock him for that.

    1. True, but for him not too expect a reaction is crazy. Just like I'm sure he would react if one of his children (if he has them) said they were GAY, why wouldn’t he think someone would react when he jumps into his rant. People don't have problems with his beliefs, because there his own, people have an issue because those beliefs affects their personal lives. Me or you or anybody else being gay doesn’t have an extreme direct effect another individuals life. I personally hope we get past the point were people coming out of the closet is news.

      1. But did he really rant though? Or was he confronted by a question thathe had to answer? Its one thing to voluntarily go in public and start speaking on your opinion unsolicited. But when they bring you in to question you on your stance how can you call his response a rant?
        See lets not be fooled here. Its no random action that they asked Broussard his opinion that way. You can be certain they knew what his response would likely be and that it would cause controversary which means more media attention for ESPN. Its all a game to the media.

    2. "People support Jason Collins because they don't want to be the person that doesn't support Jason Collins"

      thats really sad if yall think this way. i definitely support the dude and was happy for him.

  5. I think you've got to be careful with this in terms of the set of people you're talking about. I mean really, I think of it as a friend coming to me with any type of "big news", particularly life changing news. Maybe a friend comes and says she's going to quit her job and become a freelance writer. One group of friends may shun her and say how much she needs her job, how she can't pay her bills and talk about the problems associated with it. Likewise they may distance themselves from her on the thought that she's going to need more money in the coming weeks and months. Others may embrace it, encourage her talent as a writer and try to help her get more opportunities.

    I know it may seem like I'm minimizing the issue of coming out by comparing it to some thing as "trivial" as changing jobs, but in my experience, having had close friends who have either come out to me (I guess its not really coming out because it was still a secret) and having been in that position I've kinda seen both the supportive and the hostile reactions (and they don't always come from the places you think they will). For me, its a simple thing – if we're friends we're friends. You're not suddenly going to become my fashion consultant because you came out. If we always talked about Madden and Hip Hop before, then we're probably going to talk about Madden and Hip Hop afterwards. Friendships grow and evolve but I think its important as a friend to be a friend at times like this.
    My recent post What is a “Hard” Problem?

  6. I started to read this post, but I couldn't let you finish because I really don't see how one can even compare these things.
    A person who's faking an intimate relationship has betrayed their partner by building a whole relationship on a lie. Who doesn't have a problem with being betrayed by someone they trusted? How has a public figure betrayed the public by not sharing their sexual preference?

    People close to me (of both sexes) have come out. I cheered them on and felt way more strongly about it than when famous strangers have done it. I felt (mildly) betrayed by only one of them because of repeated denials when questioned over the years. But I also understood why this person had gone that route.

    I agree that Broussard is entitled to his opinion. I'm also entitled to my opinion about his opinion.

    1. I wanted to respond to this comment because I had hoped you read the article, your comment would have made much more sense.

      I think it's possible for a man to be in a relationship with a woman as he's in the "questioning" phase of his sexuality. That's not a lie. He never lied to a woman or built something on a lie. He reached a point where things became clear to him and he realized that he no longer had the desire to be in a heterosexual relationship.

      Often times, when we think about people coming out to their partners we assume they lied or cheated on them. That's simply not the case all the time.

      I also never compared the two.

      So yeah.. in the future, please read the article before jumping to conclusions. Thanks.

  7. It's fine with me if Chris Broussard chooses to believe in magic, fairy tales, and a woman getting pregnant and giving birth without ever having sexual intercourse. On the other hand, he should not be trying to hoist these fairy tales onto others.

    1. But see here you go insulting Chris… that's not necessary. That's what I was talking about in the post… I don't agree with that.

      1. Chris does believe in magic, and that a woman got pregnant & gave birth without sexual intercourse. How am I insulting him? These ARE his beliefs. Did I say he was a bad person? no. Did I say he was unethical? no. Did I say he should fired or reprimanded? no. Did I say he should have his head examined? no. Did I talk about his mamma, his wife, his kids? no. Did I question his religious sincerity or say he wasn't a "real"/"true" christian or follower of his god? no.

        But Chris Broussard did, when he said "Personally, I don’t believe that you can live an openly homosexual lifestyle…I believe that’s walking in open rebellion to God and to Jesus Christ. So I would not characterize that person as a Christian because I don’t think the bible would characterize them as a Christian"…so who is insulting who here? certainly not me.

        1. You just reduced the story of the birth of Christ to "magic."

          And over 2 billion people on this Earth would find that offensive.

          If you don't understand how that's offensive, then you're just a foolish as Chris.

        2. the story of christ is "magical".
          Definition of magical: possessing or using or characteristic of or appropriate to supernatural powers, to have supernatural power over natural forces, invokes supernatural powers to influence events.
          And if 2 Billion people were to be offended because I call the story of the birth of christ "magic", it's because they don't know what the word means.

        3. Stop fronting. You know you're using "magical" and "fairy tale" in an insulting way. You meant to be offensive.

          Turn it around. What if someone here used a slur to describe hom0$exuals. The writer/admin tells them to be respectful. They respond with that is what they are, then give the dictionary definition of the slur, say the description is accurate and that they "don't know what the word means" if they got offended.

          Would you be cool with that?

        4. Did Chris Broussard ask for a time slot on ESPN to speak out against gays? Or did ESPN put him on air, knowing his religious stance, and then ask him his opinion? In case you are not sure let me tell you….it is the latter. So I ask you what is he supposed to say when asked what he believes? Lie to make a group of people feel good? Hide from the question for fear of what people might think about his answer?
          I find it amazing how people can come to a person asking them for their views and then be upset when that person's answer isn't in line with what they were expecting or hoping for.

  8. Its always funny to me how no one wants to be bashed for their beliefs…or unbelief, but they think its okay to do it because someone else is doing it to them. Its childish. But, whatevs… *shrug*

    Do what's right…cause its right. Even when its challenging to do so.

    I have my beliefs, my shortcomings, my strengths, and my weaknesses…and I give others the room and respect they need to do the same. I also give others the room and respect to completely disagree with anything I do. I don't need folks opinions or approvals to validate my walk. I surround myself with people who love me…even if they disagree with what I'm doing.

    I also don't blame an entire group of people for the choices made by the noisy, rude, disrespectful ones in that bunch. Its not fair to the majority thats harming no one.

    I'll be glad when being in the closet, out the closet, never around the closet, etc. is not such a big deal. When folks can just live their lives and be happy. This is getting really old to me.

    1. I actually think it's getting old for most people. I think that's why someone of Jason Collins's level of popularity felt that this was the right time to come forward. Our world is changing, I think there's a growing population of people who are tired of the conversation. However, the last stats that I saw put that number still around 50% of people who are in support of homosexuality and gay marriage.

  9. We are getting more and more polarized as a society everyday. Sad that we cant be on two sides of an issue and respect each others views. Respect is an action verb, and we sometimes are passive about giving it even as we actively demand it. Some of us dont know the difference between being right and being correct. Too much cynicism, hypocrisy, rationalizing, signifying, and prophetising. I dont see this issue being one that ever brings us together just like racism. Maybe one day we can have a grown-up converstaion that doesnt devolve to disrespect

  10. Me personally, have nothing against homosexuals, although I do feel it's wrong and don't agree with the lifestyle, but i am not biased towards them whatsoever. if I was a pro athlete and had a gay teammate my first question would be "can he play" It doesn't matter shoot, rebound, defend, hit, catch, whatever. Where it gets irritating to me is where people try to push their ideals on you or how society is pushing the homosexual agenda/movement. Like don't make me out to be an a**hole because I don't agree with you bedroom exploits. The fact that he came out okay, cool, however it shouldn't be made a big deal in the first place. You're gay….and? so? Hey that's your choice it is what it is.
    My recent post Here I Come To Save The Day: White Saviors And The Negro Damsels in Distress in Hollywood

  11. I'm days late to this but I actually agree with Broussard's statement. He put it almost exactly the way I feel. I don't agree with the lifestyle neither do I support it. But I respect the person even if we share different beliefs. I think its sad that people want to force others to "fall in line" and jump on the "gay marriage support" bandwagon. If I am free to practice religion as I choose then I should be free to maintain beliefs.
    And I do so hate when people come blaming the CHURCH. Those who blame the church clearly don't know the church. The church, or better yet Christianity, isn't calling for anyone to persecute homosexuals. Christianity teaches love. Love the saint. Love the sinner and try to compel them to Christ. Not to persecute them in judgement. People need to stop judging the "Church" by the/a man standing on a platform in a nice tailored suit.

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