In the wide world of relationships I happen to think that second chances are given a bad rap. Maybe the term “second chance” just doesn’t exude enough positivity in it’s nature. Today I want you think of people you’ve had “second go arounds” with. Today’s piece is about the upside of rekindling old flames. I want to first put this in the right context. I don’t condone rekindling flames of people who have wronged you, abused you, or disrespected you. But to be fair, many relationships end amicably; no matter the nature. Sometimes you lose contact with someone. Other times it’s simply a decision made to pursue other goals or people.
In the latter situations, I think it’s perfectly fine to rekindle those flames. This post is geared toward a more intimate and sexual nature. I wanted to know if any of you all could relate to a theory I have named myself. I call it the “2.0 theory.” What the 2.0 theory means is simple. In my experiences with some women, things seem to always be different in our second stint. Women who were more reserved when I was younger are way more daring now. There’s the ladies who were so against “sending pics” in the past who are now oh so generous.For the sake of some censorship I can’t get too graphic with some of the other changes I’ve seen. But let’s just say there are “reactions” that didn’t occur the first time around. Women who weren’t vocal at all about their needs in the past will now give you the play by play on what works for her. I think this is a beautiful thing.
I personally love women who are confident in their sexuality and can articulate their needs. I also am a supporter of ladies not being too conservative with the right guy. I think behind closed doors their shouldn’t be much inhibition. There should be a heck of a lot of fun to talk about after. But inhibition is like playing tag but staying on base the whole damn time. You always hated the one who just stayed on base the whole time… whack!
There’s a few discussion points I wanted to bring up. First off I wanted to know if you all have experienced things like what I aforementioned. Secondly what do you all feel bring about such sexual changes? I’m fascinated about how we mature and the benefits we gain from it. Second and third stints can be so much fun if it happens organically. Today I say open your mind, have some fun and share your story. Does the 2.0 theory pertain to you?
DamnPops is a writer on the staff at SBM. His bio: “I’m not a biter, I’m a writer for myself and others. ” Brooklyn born dude trying to figure out this life just like you. Come on this journey with me. Follow me on Twitter @DamnPOPS
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Hindisight is 20/20, so its natural to go back and wonder if perhaps you missed out on one, especially with me now as I’m much more mature now than i was a few years ago. I can’t say that any “repeats” worked out for me so far, but they have in the sense i know that theres nothing there, things have run their course and its not because of something she/I did.
To each his or her own….whatever works for you.
Personally, I don't backtrack…life is a journey and time is short.
Ahhh a subject I rather enjoy discussing.
As usual people will generally pull the "I don't go backwards" line. Well here we go…that is literally impossible. I generally find that when people pull lines like this they are still hurting from the relationship on some level. If this relationship was a few years ago and you have changed…why are you expecting the other person to be the same person they were when the break up occurred?
If you are considering getting back with someone from a previous relationship you must go into it as if it is an entirely new relationship. Yes you know each other already but if the issues that caused the break up are not resolved then you are only wasting both of you all's time.
I'm a fan of getting back together under positive circumstances.
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The idea of doing the "repeat" thing with an ex may sound appealing especially if the end of a relationship was one of mutual understanding and agreement. Sometimes, the timing is all wrong and other times one is not fully prepared for the investment needed for a relationship. Re-emerging into those type of waters may not be as bad one may think, especially, if all the things that were wrong in the past have been nullified in the present and future. The UBx… http://www.theurbanbeaux.blogspot.com
For me, I choose not to revisit anything. Although I may have feelings for that person, once my mind becomes the voice of reason, I keep my party moving the other way. In situations like that, I think with my mind and not my heart. By the time all is said and done, there is absolutely NOTHING left in me for that person. It's cordial. It's respectful. But it's most def over. I have never been one to be able to resurrect feelings….im not opposed to it. Im just emotionally incapable…lol its true.
I personally have no problems with second go arounds. There could have been issues of maturity, long distance relationships, or you two just grew apart. If years down the line you all meet back up and things just start clicking again, why not. As long as it wasn't a nasty separation, especially where there was children involved then why not? It may be much better the second time around, especially in the getting physical department.
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