The other day I started watching this show called New Girl on Netflix. I usually hear people talking about the show on social media so I decided to give it a go. If you’ve never seen the show the premise of show is based in Los Angeles where a quirky, cute female teacher named Jessica (Jess) catches her live-in boyfriend cheating when she came home early one afternoon. They broke up and she found the perfect apartment on Craigslist but the kicker was her roommates were all men: two white (Nick and Schmidt) and one black (Winston). During one of the episodes, Jess walks in on Nick while he’s naked. Sticking to her quirky ways she laughed, not because she thought he looked bad naked but because she was caught off guard. The rest of the episode dealt with Nick dealing with body issues to the point where he ended up turning down sex with a woman that he really liked.
While I watched this episode I couldn’t help but think that when most people think of someone dealing with body issues they usually think of women. I can see why most people would only associate body issues with women. Men are by and far considered the more visual sex so based on this, women put a lot of stock into their looks. On the other hand women care more about security (physically, financially, etc) and companionship, which are things that have absolutely nothing to do with looks. Because of this, many men don’t put a lot of thought into how their body looks. If anything, we feel if we’re funny or we have a lot of money we’ll have the same if not more success with women. A lot of us will tell people that we don’t care if we’re considered attractive or handsome or if women find our bodies desirable.
That’s what we say, but I’m here to tell you today that it’s all bullshit. We’re just as self-conscious about how we look as women are. There are a lot of people who claim that women are the reason men get their haircuts and try to dress fly, and every baller than can afford it cops the best ride (shout out Jay). I agree wholeheartedly with these claims. Not saying everything I do to make myself presentable is done to impress women, but a solid 65% of it is. I cut my hair once a week and shave twice a week because I generally like how I look with a low cut. I want to look good for myself as well as look for my girlfriend, but I’d be lying if I said that I generally didn’t want to be appealing to the opposite sex. I’ve never heard anyone say “I hate it when people find me attractive.”
I’m in pretty good shape because I play a lot of basketball and I run a lot. That coupled with the fact that I have excellent genes, I could really get by with that and still maintain my body. I also work out often and try to watch what I eat partly because I want to be healthy and live as long as possible. Another part of me (in a single life somewhere) never wants to have a woman think that I’m about to crush her while we’re having sex. I want her eyes to light up with anticipation while I disrobe. I don’t want to be hollowed out and lead to her disappointment. With that said, I’m willing to bet money (I’m not, I don’t gamble) that the majority of guys feel the same way where they want to admit it or not.
Recently, I read a guest post on verysmarthbrothas.com were Christina, a recently married woman discussed her feelings about the possibility of not being seen as attractive to men because of her wedding ring. I understood where she came from. Everyone wants to be seen as attractive but people reacted as if because she got married that that desire should just automatically disappear. Too many people behave as if looks don’t matter when we live in a society dominated by physicality. Makes me wonder why people are so afraid to admit the truth to themselves.
How important are your looks to you? Is being deemed attractive to the opposite sex (or same sex if you’re homosexual) important? More importantly, do you watch New Girl?