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What You Should Do If He Won’t Commit

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We know all about those guys who have a fear of commitment, it’s nothing new. You can either decide to leave or stay and try to make a relationship out of it. Either way, these are couple things you should know if you are sticking around:

Taking the initiative to be in a committed and monogamous relationship is not a decision that’s made by just one person in a relationship — it has to be mutual. And I’m here to tell you that until a man explicitly lets you know that it’s all about you and him only… it’s probably not!

I know, this sounds awful. It threatens to ruin the wonderful dream that every little girl has had about finding her Prince Charming and how they’d live happily ever after. But the fact is, this fantasy doesn’t keep your heart from being broken (or at least, doesn’t give you a fair warning).

A confident, self-assured man won’t be rushed into any type or style of relationship just because you want it. If he does commit against his will, he will probably not be concerned about being faithful. He will do that when he is absolutely ready; of that you can be sure. His pride alone is enough to make him take a stand against being bullied into the commitment label, and if you throw in peer pressure, you can forget it. He’s done!

So, what can you do if you’re in the ambiguous stage?

[Read the post in its entirety here]

Comment(8)

  1. This article was thee best and most refreshingly honest dating articles that I've read in a very long time.
    +100 for the author and the article. It basically says everything I've been saying. Nothing left for me to say but kudos to the author of the article.

  2. I've never liked the concept of "fear of commitment" since it gets thrown around anytime a grown man makes a logical decision not to commit. Contrary to popular belief, its usually NOT fear that informs the root of the decision. In fact, fear is rarely even a factor.

    Men aren't scared to commit. We don't lay awake at night in a cold sweat dreading the day the Commitment Monster slides a decisive tentacle out from under our bed and strangles us in our sleep. We don't fear waking up with responsibilities to someone else.

    We just don't want to. It's a decision rooted in logic, not emotion. When guys are labeled as commitment-phobes, it comes with a negative connotation and reflects badly on the dude's psychological acumen. Almost as if there's something wrong with someone who doesn't want to commit to another person.

    When the Civil War ended and the slaves were told they could leave, some of them stayed on plantations for a while. Eventually, over a period of time, they all left. The slave masters commented that the slaves who were leaving were afraid of commitment. But I bet the slaves didn't see it that way…

    I propose an alternative phrasing to describe men who choose not to commit. Lets take out the negative language of fear and replace it with the additive language of love instead:

    We can call them Freedomphiliacs.

    1. LOL. Indeed. How bout we call folks who do not wish to commit…FOLKS. Period.
      For some reason, in this society, we tend to want to label folks who don't do what we think they should do. Perhaps the label should be on US? LOL

    2. "we don't lay awake at night in a cold sweat dreading the day the Commitment Monster slides a decisive tentacle out from under our bed and strangles us in our sleep."
      ……you know that there really is one though, right? She's called a "girlfriend". You've think you've committed, but somehow, you haven't…well enough anyway… or, it doesn't look the way that she pictured that it would. In any case, she will find you and she will "strangle you in your sleep"… and in your "wake" for that matter.

  3. commitment is like food, if you don't want it or like it then don't try it, or eat it. As far as getting someone to commit, whether it's a man or woman if they don't want it don't force it. There's eventually going to be someone who wil be on the same page as you. Some women even have babies by brothers just to get them to stay Why? It's all fools gold. Bottom line is if they don't want it don't force it. Would you make a dog eat cat food? obviously not. (perhaps a poor analogy but you get the drift…)
    My recent post Saving Black Love: 8 Ways To A Better Us…Not You…US!

  4. It threatens to doom the dazzling vision that all exiguous nymph has had about finding her Emir Pretty plus how they’d subsist happily perpetual past. Still the truth is, this hallucination doesn’t withhold your disposition from thing burst.

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