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Five Ways Hating Ass Friends Show Themselves


When you and your friends enter a social setting, the goal is to enjoy yourselves and have a great time. In the course of your social interactions, you may come across a group of the opposite sex with whom you want to converse. Sometimes it’s just for normal conversation, other times there’s some initial attrraction and you want to make first contact to see if numbers and pleasantries can be exchanged. This would seem like simple male-female repartee in the grand scheme of things if it wasn’t for HAF’s (Hating Ass Friends). HAF’s can be your greatest friends, but have this annoying character flaw where they will throw salt in your game and mess up the flow between you and another person. Some good friends of mine saw some characteristics of a HAF, and implored me to speak on it as only I can, so it’s time to expose and entertain. Here are a few ways in which a HAF can spoil the mood of a great situation

The “Arm Pull” Maneuver

Fellas, have you ever been chillin’ with a group of your dudes when a group of women walk past you? If they are attractive, and you have bold friends, they will usually speak up with either a funny line, bluntness, or a cordial hello. This, as with many things related to men approaching women, has a 50/50 success rate. But if she’s in the mood to talk, she will stop and chat for a few. The arm pull maneuver occurs when one friend in the group, who’s either pressed to vacate the current premises or upset that no one wants to chat with her, will walk past the group, tugging the arm(s) of her friends engaged in the conversation, and use a phrase such as “We gotta go c’mon!” at which point she pulls them AWAY from you! It’s like she comes down from the rafters like Sting the wrestler to disrupt the situation! Not only is that extremely rude, it’s pretty corny. Don’t be mad that you’re not getting any burn from the dude who initiated the conversation. Be a good sport, play the position, and wait for your friend to be done! Get on your phone and try to finally get past level 65 in Candy Crush, instead of ruining a nice discussion about nothing between my friends and yours!

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Tag Teaming A Conversation

There’s nothing worse than a friend who can’t recognize that you are engaged in a conversation, exuding charm and charisma, and they feel the need to interject themselves to your detriment. It’s one thing if you’re engaged in group conversation, but once you see the talk break off into individual segments, you have to use your common sense and let your friend work! Don’t be annoying or hang around too long, so that you ruin your buddy’s chance to get the number. Play the bar, spark a different conversation, or something else that’s logical!

Pulling Your Friends Away From Dances

Fellas, if this happens to you, take offense. They think you’re undesirable and that’s the best method of escape for the poor woman who feels held hostage by your uninvited attempt to catch a dub. Sometimes though, they will pull away for the the sake of it, and have you looking like a derelict. This is more hilarious than foul, but still foul nonetheless. Why do you do this ladies? Would it be strange if a dude did this for his guy friend? Not that would be a must see event!

The Claim Game

While men will resort to dirty mackin’, women play the claim game. This is an equally selfish move, where you would fabricate the level of involvement you had with someone whom your friend finds attractive, so that they won’t want to pursue due to your past history. I wrote about this a few years back, and here’s a quick excerpt to illustrate my point:

On another note, just because someone “wanted to holla at you first” gives you no basis by which you would place a claim! Infatuation is fantasy based, and when people face reality, their feelings can and will flip like acrobats. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s human. I can respect a friend who goes to all lengths to make sure no ill feelings will occur between them if they pursue someone of interest, or ran a train had a previous relationship. To me, that’s a great courtesy, because if you are good friends with this person, you should know if they were seriously dealing with this individual to begin with (or the level of seriousness).

Dirty Mackin’

Fellas, do you have that one boy who lives by the Mackievellian theory of interactions with women. Will he do whatever it takes to get with a woman, with no regard for the possible collateral damage that may occur? Well, you may be friends with a dude who is a “Dirty Mack.” This describes a person who uses less than honorable tactics to gain the affection of their love/lust interest. A case of dirty mackin’ could go like this:

Rufus: What’s good Jane how u? I’m Rufus.

Jane: Hey Rufus. What’s up? You’re friend with Calvin right?

Rufus: Yeah Calvin is my dude!

Jane: That’s cool. He’s always been a dope dude. My friends love him. Speak to him lately?

Rufus: Yeah I saw him the other day. Probably chillin with his girlfriend** or something. So what you getting into tonight?!

 ***  – Calvin has been single for 2 years

Dirty Mackin’ should be a federal offense punishable by consecutive life sentences. Some dudes do it so naturally that they don’t realize they hate on others to get ahead. Won’t front, I used the dirty mack move when I was younger, and I can say that I haven’t seen this done to others as I’ve matured. If you encounter these scoundrels committing these vile actions, defend thyself!

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We love our friends, but they can all exhibit the HAF gene. Hell, we’ve all been a HAF at one point or another. Recognize it, and be better. Don’t be THAT person anymore. Be a full friend, not a HAF.


Any other examples of HAF activity? How do you handle these situations? Contribute and share, friends!


  1. This was an entertaining read, and extremely relatable. The arm pull can be infuriating because that ish is highly disrespectful. Its almost the equivalent of someone spitting on you. Like, how are you going to interrupt the established conversation (or about to be established conversation) by dragging the person away? That is beyond hate. Now if the chick is drunk, that is understandable because she will probably stop to talk to anything, even trees blowing in the wind. But if the woman is clearly not under any influence, as you said, her friends need to just suck it up and wait until she has curtailed her conversation.

    Dirty Mackin is some straight up punk @ss lame sh*t. It really is. Cats that throw salt on other dudes in hopes to eliminate the competition to increase their chances with a person of interest deserve the guillotine. The same goes for dudes that talk smack and throw shade on another dude to discourage a woman's interest in said dude. Those are war crimes. No respect for that type of lame game business.

    Anyway, good read.

    Mr. SoBo

    My recent post Saving Black Love: 8 Ways To A Better Us…Not You…US!

  2. This is a great read, wow Dirty mackin is just lame. These are all valid points. Folk need to stop trying to retard their "friend's" progress. Anyone that pulls any of these shenanigans is not really your friend cos friends dont do such.
    My recent post A Compendium of Thoughts

  3. ionly one i would add is the reverse psychology haf- he’s the dude that tries to make you seem like a sucker for going to work or see ya lady. Of course when things go bad he’ll pull the i aint have a gun line like Ted.

  4. Oh my goodness, please tell these people! Yet, women LOVE to go out like a pack of hyenas only for this to happen to them by a HAF. I save myself the trouble by either going to places by myself or with another like minded, unselfish, grown woman. This is childish behavior at its finest and I'm shocked that women allow it to happen by their "friends". They are clearly not winning and they don't want you to win either.

    Byeeee Felicia! No time for that.

  5. Lol. I’ve seen this happen once more than 3 women are in a group. I will say there are only 3 reasons you should interrupt/interject a conversation your friend is having with a hottie.

    1)You’re about to leave (go to the car) and you’re her ride home
    2)You’re leaving and just want to say goodbye
    3)Or if you and your girls are moving to the other side of the room.

    Say excuse me relay the message and dip. It’s funny you mention woman playing the claim game. This situation is actually happening with one of my best friends and her friend. Her friend was trying to “holla” at this guy, but he’s not interested and has said this to her. We went over to his house for a little party he had and he wants to “get to know” my bff. So we’ll see how this plays out.

  6. aaaaahhhh…. "the Dirty Macks"

    It's not so much that I want to KILL them,….I just (uum)…don't want them to be alive…anymore.

  7. LMAO @ the Dirty Mack. I think we've all Dirty Macked before BUT it's supposed to be reserved for dudes "you don't know like that" not your GD homeboy. I don't know how dudes get that confused.

    Also… Get on your phone and try to finally get past level 65

    No one gets past level 65, bro.

    Good post!

  8. LOL!!!! This is too funny!

    I have a couple of associates that play the "claim game". They will even claim a man that only said "Hi" to them, just so you wont pursue. I pay them no attention.

  9. The Claim Game is happening to me right now! My friend turned down a guy at the club because of his age. The next time we went, he was there and he had forgotten her and hit on me! I gave him the math, and we hit it off! She remembered him, and now calls him crazy and has nothing nice to say about him. Just pure hating!


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