I went out to a fine ass new restaurant in lower Manhattan last Tuesday night called Distilled. I highly recommend it for special occasions if you’re in the city. My purpose for being there was an aunt’s birthday dinner. Now I don’t know the exact amount of years that they have been married, but I do know it’s at thirty plus. It seems that the older I get, the more intrigued I am about long marriages. I’m always interested in what actually goes into maintaining that longevity. And as much as there is more than one way to skin a cat, I do believe there are a few parallels.
One of these parallels happens to be a woman’s support system. Her support system can be family, friends or a mixture of both. I am more of the belief that it does behoove women to have a high character and highly objective girlfriend. The way two women can relate can really help out a guy in a way; allow me to explain.
Over great gourmet food and
expensive ass premium cocktails there was much laughter and reminiscing at my aunt’s dinner. Watching how my uncle and aunt interact is always fun. She turned to my mother (her sister in law) and said she had been the greatest sister. She went on to say that coming from a smaller family with no siblings, it was quite intimidating coming into this large Panamanian family. Being that her immediate family was small, she confided in the ladies who were the siblings to her husband.
My aunt recalled instances of seeking out my mother and my other aunts in times where she was frustrated with my uncle. She spoke about the importance of their advice in those situations. In many ways I think their counsel may have saved my aunt and uncle’s marriage, even if in a small way. Immediately I thought to myself that a woman needs that support system. It’s helpful to have another woman empathize directly with her as a woman. That friend still has to have the wherewithal to be objective.
I’m not too sure if it’s just me, but fellas please feel free to chime in. I’ve met so many women throughout my life who for whatever reason don’t have many girlfriends. Either they don’t get along with women well or their friend did them dirty. This sucks for us because there’s times when I think a lady should just be having ladies night. At the same time, as a guy you have a chance to hang with your guys and do your thing. Women with no female friends shifts the damn balance. The lack of space it creates in relationships leads to conflict.
I’m probably asking for a lot, but I don’t think it’s impossible. What do you think? How important is it for a woman to have her girlfriends? How about for men?
These are my words and I make no apologies.
DamnPops is a writer on the staff at SBM. His bio: “I’m not a biter, I’m a writer for myself and others. ” Brooklyn born dude trying to figure out this life just like you. Come on this journey with me. Follow me on Twitter @DamnPOPS
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