Home Featured Why She Doesn’t Want to Be With You

Why She Doesn’t Want to Be With You


Too often we focus on women, stating that they’re not able to keep a man. No one ever brings up the guy who just isn’t beau or boyfriend material. It’s plenty of guys out here bouncing from chick to chick, simply because they can’t hold down the fort. If you feel as though this might be you, here are some reasons Why She Doesn’t Want to Be With You: 

You Hookup With 3+ Girls A Week
If you are a well-known player, why the hell would a girl even try to enter a committed relationship with you? You claim you want a girlfriend, but chances are you are hooking up with whatever girl will go home with you that night, exposing you to an endless array of STDs. How enticing.

Your Idea Of A Date Is Drinks
This is not a date, this is an excuse to get someone drunk enough to convince them to go home with you. Ladies, if you think this is a date, you need a reality check. While this may be sufficient enough for the first few dates, if these are the only outings you are going on together, he is not boyfriend material.

It’s Just Sexual
First of all, there’s a difference between dating a guy and having sex with a guy. Sex doesn’t always involve intimacy and this is something people of both sexes fail to realize. There are just some people you have sexual relationships with and there are some people you have intimate relationships with. If you are simply enjoying each other’s company while you hook up, this is a friends with benefits situation, nothing more.

Her Friends Don’t Like You
A girl will always verify a guy to some extent before getting into a committed relationship with said person. If you’re not passing the friend test, there’s basically a 90% chance this girl will not date you. Sure, she may hook up with you from time to time, all out of good fun of course, but she will never enter a relationship with a person her friends detest.

She’s Hung Up On Her Ex
The past always wins when a girl is clinging to her ex. There is already a ton of emotional investment there. Sure, she may be sleeping with you, but if she is still hung up on her ex, sex is the only thing you are getting from this girl. She is not going to commit to another person no matter how hard you try. The sooner this is recognized, the better it is for both parties.

[Head over to EliteDaily to read the rest of this article]


  1. Men who move too fast are a big turnoff: Ugh. I dated a guy last yr that was fiiiiiine & he had a pretty cool personality but……. he was rushing things: as in he told me he wanted us to be in a relationship & was already tryna sleep w/ me on the 3rd date???? He barely knew me & I barely knew him? I ran from that situation b4 anything went down & thought to myself: "if he's trying that w/ me, does he do that w/ every girl he goes on a few dates with"? I offered for us to slow it down & take some more time to get to know each other & he wasn't tryna hear that lol – I'm glad I ran

    1. "already tryna sleep w/ me on the 3rd date"

      wow, is this really considered rushing?

      I wish a chick would try to hold out for 3 dates. I'd be flabbergasted.

      If i havent smashed by the 3rd DAY it pulls down my stats.

      Maybe you need to be more sexually liberated. It's your right as a woman to be able to enjoy sex with impunity. Just go with what feels good, its alright.

      1. "wow, is this really considered rushing? "

        Yes, rushing! Third Date Home… Run from the the gonorrhea halo of any guy trying to beg you to sleep with him so soon. A prostitute is the same thing and will ensure you get your rocks off and you don't even have to be board with the awkward dates!

        My recent post Third Date Home…. Run

        1. @ Me: "Run from the gonorrhea halo" had me rolling- LMAO!!!! That thought has literally run through my mind on more than one occasion when dealing w/ certain dudes lol. I was gonna respond to these guys but I just read ur post & you said it all right there, so yeah — I'm gonna hold my peace on this one.

        2. So the main reason not to get busy by the 3rd date is because you might catch an STI? Waiting until date 397 doesn't mean you wont either. Just use condoms. Plus Gonorrhea, as a bacteria, is treatable.

          If i refused to have sex with any girl with HPV, I'd be filtering out like 50% of all sexable girls. And HPV is NOT curable; once you get it, you got it fo life!

          To add, prostitutes are wack– they cost money and you cant even kiss them in the mouth. You can't do any really nasty stuff either, like tongue in the booty. But you can safely do that with a nubile 20 year old who only had 1 partner who was her virgin prom date, so he only got like 3 pumps in. Plus she might catch feelings, and it feels good to be liked. Prostitutes only like ya money. You can't cuddle with a prostitute after you're done. Unless you wanna pay extra for it.

          When it comes to sex, regular girls >>> prostitutes. You know its true.

          *rabble rabble*

        1. Yes. Men don't mind nani being low value. Women are the ones who seem to have an issue with it. So naturally, I'd be in favor of all chicks just giving it up all the time to dudes they find attractive. Free love, like the 70s.

          The way I see it, the value of the nani is already low– 50% of all people ever have one. What makes the price high? Its certainly not the supply. Everywhere I go there is nani. There are like half a billion of them on earth, its crazy. Nobody makes you jump through hoops to shake their hand. Why is a handshake valued less than a meat-in-the-pink?

        2. yup. Nani is inherently low value because its everywhere. Some women believe their individual nani is special, so they make guys work hard to get it.

          No guy WANTS to put in a lot of work just to get some strange, just like I dont actually WANT to have to pay for some bottle water. If i could get it for free I would.

          Its sad because women really are more than their vaginers. But when they expect a guy to put in a lot of work to get it, they're saying "this is one of my most valuable assets. this is the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow."

          No. Your vaginer is like a belly button. Its not rare, its not hard to find, and its not special just because you say it is. If i said my belly button was one of my most prized assets and only certain people should have access to it, and only if they jump through some hoops… then obviously I dont have much else to offer.

          If women want to hook a guy, they shouldnt use their nani as bait. Use something thats actually a rarity, or something that takes time and effort and skill to create or develop. Unless you dont have anything more impressive than the human anatomy you were born with. Which would be sad. So sad.

    2. I agree with @12 pt. Buck.


      Luckily for you, there are men out there who will give you what you are looking for.

      Hopefully you know what to do when you find one.

      1. Please explain how that works into your "body count" hard line of 5. If I sleep with every [STRANGER] guy I've made it to date three with, I…you know what, I can't. Yall got this.

        1. @Amaris79

          I am glad you have been paying attention.

          But the hard line is at 3. No more than 2 (male) partners, and I have to at least be the third

          And if you are over a certain age (24), I am not taking you serious anyway.

          This has more to with PRICE DISCRIMINATION, then it does with marriage, etc.

          Good day

    1. men see it as having to "convince". Women see it as a man investing time to build trust with somebody he thinks is worth it.

      1. I think there is a difference between the two. Most men don't mind putting in the customary effort that is required to win a good one. But usually the woman leaves clues that she is interested, but just needs to see more. Me and my boys have a theory that a woman should "throw us a bone" so to speak. We don't mind chasing, but we just want to know that there is the possibility of catching yall.

        And then there are situations where a woman is showing absolutely no interest (even though she may be), and thats where you have to walk away as a matter of pride. Thirst is so uncivilized LOL.
        My recent post Long-Distance Love: How to Care from a Distance

        1. This makes sense. There are women who get their ego boosts off uber thirsty attention from dudes knowing they're not all that interested. I guess ya'll gotta have some boundaries too.

  2. My deal-breaker is guys who are extremely nerdy (like extremely) and guys who have absolutely no goals in life. Those definitely need to be on your list.

  3. I agree with all of this except #4- passing the friends test. I don't look for validation from my girlfriends as to who I should(nt) date or if they don't like each other. We all have different tastes, personalities so my mate might not mesh well with all my friends & that has nothing to do with me our our relationships. I can make that distinction on whats is best for me without anyone's input.
    # 5- Being hung up on her ex- That's' debatable because when a woman is truly hung up on her ex your usually not going to get past first base. You would spot this a mile away and be so turned off from hearing about the next man that you will only stick around to see if you can hit it.
    The first three was spot on. I would be totally turned off with the first one, especially when its obvious and he does not mind reminding you he has MANY options. Next. Your idea of communication is via text and your idea of a date is sitting around in my house during the beginning stages.Not to say money always needs to be spent o have a good time but show some creativity. We women can be emotional creatures and I just think that a man should try to connect on some type a level before expecting sex. A real woman will wait until she feels at least some of that or a man shows a genuine interest if she is not looking to get what she can get from you, sex or otherwise.

  4. I'm not big on giving a crap what others think but if too many of my friends were not liking him or they were giving good reasons I'd consider it. I know I can sometimes make poor choices and my friends are looking out for my temporary blindness. (Friends, good ones anyway, always see the looser in your man before you wake up and figure it out!!)
    My recent post Greedy Self Diagnosis Needed


Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Get SBM Delivered

Get SBM Delivered

Single Black Male provides dating and relationship
advice for today's single looking for love

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This