“I hope that you’re the one, if not you are the prototype.” – Andre 3000
A few days ago, I was talking to a guy who was explaining to me this dilemma he’s having. He said that there’s a woman he sees from time to time who isn’t his girlfriend. He hasn’t been in a serious relationship with this other woman, but he has a great sexual chemistry with her and they get along well. Physically, this woman is very appealing to him.
Conversely, this man’s current woman is very good to him but he has some hang ups about her. One of his hang ups is that he isn’t as physically attracted to her as he would like. This woman, however, is a sweetie. He’s afraid to leave her because of the self-esteem damage it may do to her. So he stays. He’s out with this outside woman one day and asks himself “why am I not with her?” He went on to tell me that many times we settle for the prototype of what we want in a person.
Protoype – 1.The original or model on which something is based or formed. 2. Someone or something that serves to illustrate the typical qualities of a class; model.
(Taken from dictionary.com)
What this tells me is that prototypes can be pretty general and pretty vague. In reference to automobiles, prototypes are always tinkered with after their initial release. We may have a general idea of what we want. As a matter of fact, most of us have a lot of things in common as it pertains to what we look for in someone. But at the same time, we’re not all into each other. We make tweaks of our own when it comes to prototypes through break-ups and self-improvement.
Ultimately, there’s a difference between what we generally want and what we really want. That disconnect can pretty much be paralleled with dating. I think the older we get, the less we should settle for simple prototypes of who we’d like to be with. It’s alright to wait things out. I’d liken this scenario to how my mother usually shops. You see, she would see something she really wanted but it would be too expensive. So she’s notorious for not buying an item for a price she doesn’t want to pay. She usually waits til the price comes down to a point she likes.
There are no shortcuts in dating.
The reason why most of us don’t meet who we want faster is because it’s a process. In my own experience, I can meet an amazing woman but sometimes my timing sucks. Honestly, many times my timing sucks and that lady is cuffed up. Maybe some of you can relate. It’s all a process. Don’t sweat the time it takes. I rather take my time and do something right than rush and do something wrong. Let’s all hold our heads. We can get exactly what we want… I know I will.
These are my words and I make no apologies.
DamnPops is a writer on the staff at SBM: “I’m not a biter, I’m a writer for myself and others. ” Brooklyn born dude trying to figure out this life just like you. Come on this journey with me. Follow me on Twitter @DamnPOPS
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