Yesterday, two photos hit my Twitter timeline (@WisdomIsMisery) that had “other Twitter” in an uproar. This happens from time to time so it wasn’t much of a surprise. The exercise, which called for men and women to choose from two anonymous men/women based solely on their photos and vague descriptions, started off entertaining enough. That was until the existentialist and intellectuals, terms used loosely, of Twitter began opining on the subject. In their opinions, the world offers more variety than the limits imposed by the photos; therefore, it was pointless to choose between the two. Many self-proclaimed they were the best representation of both featured, and they had many men and women as personal friends who represented the same.
It’s interesting that everyone on-line is always the best representation of all that exist in life, yet we have websites like SBM that seem to imply differently. Most people are not the perfect combination of sexy and cute or polished business man and thug. That’s just not how life works. With rare exception, I actually believe the photos are fairly representative of what many of us have/had to choose from in the dating pool. Stated differently, if everyone is perfect, then why is it so difficult for everyone to find their perfect match?
Regardless of your answer to that question, there seems to be a popular assumption among women – one that I would qualify as a misconception – that it’s easier for men to find a wife than it is for women to find a husband. This isn’t a new concept. I wrote about it before in Women Have Less Good Men to Choose From. Maybe it’s easier for men, maybe it’s harder (Hint: It’s relative).
This is why it’s interesting to me whenever someone states their preferences and someone else is always quick to inform them how wrong or right their list of preferences are based on their opinion, which is itself based on their own personal preferences. In my opinion, as long as what you want aligns with what you can get, then your preferences can never be wrong.
For example, I was listening to the radio last week. Coincidentally, they were speaking on the same topic, preferences. A 34-year old gentlemen called in and informed the listening audience that he only dates women between the ages of 19 – 22. As you can imagine, a number of women called in afterwards and gave this man an earful about how “wrong” his preferences are. While I have my own thoughts about a man who targets women over a decade his junior, I must admit that if he is successful in meeting his objectives – dating women between the ages of 19 – 22 – then clearly his preferences can’t be that wrong. What he wants align with what he can get. He doesn’t need to change a thing, and he definitely doesn’t have to apologize or explain himself to anyone but the man in the mirror.
I would say the same to a woman who had the same relative expectations for men she dates. Why it’s ok for women to prefer richer, taller, older, educated men, yet it’s somehow superficial and wrong for men to prefer younger, attractive, formal education optional, women is beyond me. From my observations, the top 10 things women and men look for in a mate are approximately the same. Where things turn ugly is if you ask men and women to prioritize their lists. That’s where the real discrepancies show up. It seems men and women want women and men to value in themselves, what they value in the opposite sex. Well, I’m sorry to be the one to break it to you. That is never going to happen.
But, getting back to the subject of today’s post. Here are the photos that hit my Twitter timeline yesterday.
For the Men:
For the Women:
To keep things interesting, I am less interested in whether you feel “in real life” people are more diverse and varied than the men and women represented above. That’s no fun. I’d also argue it’s untrue. In the reality I’m familiar with, most men and women possess good and bad qualities. Some I desire. Some I overlook. However, it is very rare that someone only possesses all of the best qualities. If you’ve had the benefit of making it past age two, you might have realized that sometimes life requires you to make tough choices.
Today, you have to make a choice between the men and women pictured above: Left or Right? If you are so inclined, you can further explain your choice in the comment section below. AFTER YOU’VE CLEARLY MADE YOUR CHOICE BETWEEN LEFT OR RIGHT KNOWN, then you can explain if you think these pictures are representative of real decisions you’ve had to make in dating or if you’ve had the benefit of finding or representing the “best of both worlds”. Lastly, do you think it is easier for men to find a wife than it is for women to find a husband?