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5 Things Women Do that Men Hate, but Tolerate Because We Care



Relationships are built on love, admiration, and compromise. However, I’ll be damned if men don’t overlook certain things that may drive us up a wall, but we tolerate because you are that special. I never knew the true meaning of “Women: Can’t live with them, can’t live without them” until I got into my first relationship. Ever since then, I’ve matured in both mind and body, and know what to expect and how to operate accordingly. Here is a short list of some things you do that might annoy us, but we let go:

The Desire To Attend Undesirable Events

“Did you hear?!  My friend Amber is expecting! We definitely have to go to this baby shower. All the girls will be there, and I’m sure you can make friends with the guys there. It’ll be a blast!! :o)”

Messages like the above will make men cringe. Women are very outgoing and want to involve you in their lives completely once you are a couple, but sometimes men would not mind if you did certain things on your own. Men on the whole don’t want to befriend all your friends or attend every “awww this is cute!” event that you schedule. However, we know that if we drag you to a movie you don’t want to see, and you go with minimal kicking / screaming, then it’s only right that we do the same. I believe that the frequency in which women bring up these unappealing events trumps men by a ration of 3:1.

Hanging with couples is cool, but to make that the primary focus of entertainment with your friends can be a bit cumbersome. It’s also completely healthy to have fun with your own friends too. Sometimes men need a break, but attending these events isn’t the end of the world. Men can suffer from “girlfriend entertainment” overload when it becomes consistent and repetitive. That sounded worse than it is, but just work with me here, OK?

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21 Questions

Men can be succinct when we answer you. It isn’t that we aren’t interested in a question you asked, it’s just that we like to get to the point. Women at times will not accept that as a suitable answer and will commence their loving interrogation. “What are you doing? How are you feeling? What do you mean by that? Are you high right now? Do you ever get nervous?” I swear that women detectives will eventually discover Tupac on that beach in the Bahamas one day, because of their diligence and inquisitive nature. This is a desirous trait to have in many professions. In a relationship it can go either way.

Women’s intuition will always tell them if they have to probe to find answers to potentially shady dealings on your behalf, but women also want to know everything about a man they are seeing (or at least will try their best to determine substance). It’s truly innocuous the majority of the time, but boy can it also get annoying! Sometimes, we just wanted to order the lamb instead of the chicken because it was something new without an ulterior motive! All I ask is that women know the difference between “lovingly probing” us and sticking your finger an inch away from our face while saying “I’m not touching you… I’m  not touching you!”

Obligatory Touching

Hear me out before you call me everything but what my mother named me. Fellas, have you ever been laying on the couch and your woman comes up to lay next to you and will purposely stick her feet up under your kneecap to “warm” them? Let’s not even talk about your dead and numb arm as a result of improper cuddling technique. How about when you come from the store and you’re carrying the most heavy items, struggling not to look weak while making your way to the car/public transportation, and that’s the moment she picks to hold your hand? Women want and need that affection, and will touch you and let you know you’re gonna get some good touchy feely loving too. However, some times we have to focus or get comfy and can’t do all of that. Unless that irregular, non-essential hand spooning leads to full body knifing and forking, you must chill!

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Random Stories

Women, you are very detailed. This characteristic is ingrained in your DNA and can be very useful. It can also be a burden to our ears and minds when you deliver a thesis entitled “My day: From Sunrise to Sunset.” You will deliver such intricate aspects of your day so eloquently that it would make J.K. Rowling blush. The problem for men is that we sometimes can’t determine what details are important and which ones are filler. You give us 2 discs-worth of stories with a lot of skippable tracks, and men will still listen (or feign attentiveness flawlessly).  You don’t believe me? Well next time you see a guy and gal walking down the street with only the woman talking, look at the guys face. You’ll see either genuine interest, pure struggle, or a combination of intrigue and stress. It’s pure comedy, and men who see this get it and feel them 100%.

Are we going to hit you with #nobodycares? Of course not! We aren’t that oblivious to your feelings. We understand that everything you tell us holds equal importance, so we will listen to it all. Every.Single.Word. We won’t ask you to trim it down to avoid any hurt feelings or a possible argument, unless it’s absolutely necessary. Men are wired different where some of us can give you the cliff notes version of our day, and provide further colour if prompted. We expect the same from you, foolishly I admit, but know that won’t be the case all of the time. We even get used to the usual banter of “bitches who don’t know their place”, the boss who just doesn’t get it, and  the nail shop that just raised prices out of nowhere. We don’t really ask you to change it, because it’s you. Appreciate us for being there for you during your most verbose times.

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Readers Choice For #5:

Men/Women –  if I’ve left out one that you think is important, let us know.

Men will always love the hell out of you ladies, but just recognize that as a whole you do some things that make us scratch our head, but it’s you so we’re good. The brothers may vent to you on these topics, but most won’t so I speak up in their place.


Next Week: 5 things that men do that piss women off, but they tolerate anyway!


  1. 5. Tapping out / no round 2 or 3

    So you physically cant handle any more deeyuh?

    Although my intent is to slay with impunity, imma need you to buck with me at least until my high wears off. dang. Up your stamina stats.

    That's like a dude who cant hold his nut. Just hook up that morning head tho and all will be forgiven.

    This is why i prefer chicks who workout regularly.

  2. 5. wear some sh t you dont like…women will buy an article of clothing or jewelry and will keep an itinerary of how many times you wore it, that watch that doesnt go with anything, shirts outside ur usual color palette, that ugly tie she got her pops a similar one of….bleh

  3. Guilty of number #4, i have the most random stories however, I have learned to alter that in some type of manner.

    1. I try very hard to keep it short….Never works.
    2. I don't mind if you aren't listening to every party or the marjority of it, just end it with a "that b*tch is crazy" and we are good to go.

    I can't stop being long winded, it is something that I just am. However, I am not going to be him over the head if he can't recite every detail. As long as he got the just of the situation we are going to be O.K.
    My recent post Who do I have to be, to gain reciprocity?:The problem with takers

  4. Obligatory touching and Random Stories???!!!!???

    Stop talking about me, Streetz! LOL! And, I thought we were cool????? -_-

    The "numb arm" had me dying laughing. Man, listen…y'all need to take control of your own comfort. Ask us to switch sides, shift…something! Don't lose a limb being considerate. You can't blame us for that! LOL.

    Although I'm known for telling good stories (cause the most retarded things happen to me on the regular), I can be (read: am) long-winded, lol. I give the back story, context, related stories, music/movie references, LOL…I gotta laugh at myself, lol.

    1. LMAO!!
      I think I have a decent ratio of annoying stuff, mostly because I'm really attuned to body language and your internal pouting will ruin my fun. So it is very rare that I will force you to go to that baby shower/brunch/silly rom-com movie. So much so that my friends have asked on more than one occasion if I made my S/O's up **hangs head** Hopefully it makes up for how much I talk.
      As for excessive touch…I mean…I'm not a hand-holder and I put on socks if my feet are cold…would you prefer I cuddle with my #WorkSpouse?

      1. LOL! I'm not a hand-holder either…cause sweaty palms are icky. But, I'm an arm-gripper, a back-hugger, an arm-pit leaner, a straddler, a rubber, and a spooner…and some part of us has to be touching in order for me to fall asleep! \(-_-)/ …what can I say, LOL! The crazier thing is that I'm generally not affectionate. But, I'm very physical in relationships.

        …and I only talk when I have something to say. I like comfortable silence…just not "sooo…" type silence.

        1. LOL!

          You know…when you snuggle under a dudes arm and you're nestled into his side. You're in the arm pit region, lol…

          I guess arm pit doesn't sound pleasant, huh? Shoulder/side leaner then? LOL…

        2. …in the cleanest way possible, LOL.

          If he's sitting on a chair, I frequently end up, not in my own chair/spot, but straddling him (sitting on his lap, facing him)…just to talk.

        3. Cyn I'm surprised that comment right there didn't warrant 100 +1's…lol.
          It probably did they just don't want u to know it…lol 😉
          Get It Cyn. I ain't mad ya lady 🙂

        4. "Just to talk" lol see…..Call me crazy, but talking is the last thing on my mind if a woman ever chose to straddle me in a chair……idk how you got through any of those convos unscathed lol

        5. …cause we aren't talking belly-to-belly straddling here, lol. Regions aren't pressed together or anything. …just sitting on your thighs facing you is all…talking. LOL!

        6. Interesting………… I'd love to hear more about this, Cyn.

          I'm an Expert at Eye Contact, lol

        7. #Iquit …again, LMBO!

          It's just having a conversation while sitting on dude's lap…facing each other, for real. To me, it's more intimate than sitting side-by-side. Also, it's hard for either of you to get distracted when you're sitting like that. It's more sweet than erotic…honestly, lol. A more interesting way to have the "how was your day" conversation…

    2. "y'all need to take control of your own comfort. Ask us to switch sides, shift…something! Don't lose a limb being considerate. You can't blame us for that! LOL."

      Real talk!

      For the life of me, I can't figure out why I don't say something…my arm really does hurt…I should look into that.

    3. LOLOL by ur profile pic I can tell ur a #4 lmaooo

      Yeah man.. sometimes yall stories be TOO MUCH! Im like damn… your life canNOT be this intricate. With your female friends its even worse! Yall will kill us with details hahahaa

      1. We are >>here<< on this.

        My homeboy got to the point where he told me just to start at the end and let him ask questions, LOLOLOL. Rude. LOL! Interestingly enough, if it's really a funny story, it's still funny telling it though way. Go figure…

        1. Sometimes when you tell stories I need checkpoints like GTAV! Let me come back to this at the last save point lol

  5. “What do you mean by that?”

    This one deserves its own attention. This is the 2000’s version of the once retired “What are you thinking about?”

    HFG is a man of few words. (It’s why I like y’all, ‘cause I get to write what I’ll never say.) In real life, I think about what & how I’m going to say things so that I can say exactly what I want to say…and nothing more. I once attempted to say only 50 words in a 24hr period…and I succeeded.

    This question makes me answer (internally, frustrating-ly and once again internally)..B!tch(as a term of endearment)…I said EXACTLY what I meant.
    ….The internally part is because I might love her.

    …and! If I was trying to say something on the cool,slick or sly, why would I then explain it to you? Isn’t figuring it out (over mocha latte’s with your girls) what y’all do?

    1. "This question makes me answer (internally, frustrating-ly and once again internally)..B!tch(as a term of endearment)…I said EXACTLY what I meant. "

      *cue Key & Peele*

      Bruh…but did you actually say…. *looks around*

      *looks under chair*

      *looks outside window*



  6. I'm "guilty" of #3 I guess. But I'm an affectionate person…and you will deal! Haaaaaaaaa! Great post. Thanks for the insight. This is a great way to let us know what's on your mind without making us feel bad about it.

  7. I'm super guilty of #2 and #4. What can I say? I'm just an inquisitive person with a lot of random stories. And I expect you to answer my questions and to at least halfway listen to my stories lol. My questions aren't always relevant, but if not they are probably funny. Now my stories might be irrelevant. I may just feel like talking lol I know I can talk a lot so I wouldn't be mad if I got called out for talking too much.

      1. Well It really just depends on the question. I usually ask random questions with no real reason behind them aside from my curiosity. When I say i'm a curious person I mean that when I was a kid I was constantly asking my parents questions about any and everything lol Now back to a guy…if it's a question about say another woman then I'd definitely expect an answer. If it was a random question he might get a pass and I won't press him, but then I might ask him why he is acting like it's such a big deal to not answer it. lol Yea…but i'm not difficult at all 😉

    1. Now that I think about it I do #2 as well. I tend to put my feet on whatever guy i'm dating to see if he will say anything since people tend to act scared of feet. As my man/lover you are obligated to let me rest my feet on you! lol This is a bit off topic but I also used to like to slap my ex's azz just because lol

        1. Lmao They don't complain though. I'm really not that difficult to be honest. I'm laid back and easy to please.

  8. High_Five_Ghost: "In real life, I think about what & how I’m going to say things so that I can say exactly what I want to say…and nothing more…This question makes me answer (internally, frustrating-ly and once again internally)..B!tch…I said EXACTLY what I meant."

    Even worse, that attempt to get you to elaborate means you have to use different words to say what you already said and meant. Except those new words may bring a different subtext, which will be interpreted in the worse way possible.

    Which is followed up by her saying, "so what you're really saying is…". No, I already said what I meant the first time!

    1. # 6. (Brought to you by Uncle Hugh) …."so what you're really saying is…"…..

      How you gon tell me what I’m saying?…….I’ll come back to that.

      You ever notice that when this phrase is uttered, women never assume that “what you’re really saying” is something positive? Let’s try some examples.

      “So what you're really saying is- you do want me to move in.”

      “So what you're really saying is- you do miss me.”

      “So what you're really saying is- you don’t think my father is annoying."
      ..…any of those seem like the way it really goes?

      now, again….How you gon tell me what I’m saying?

  9. im guilty as charged of #2 21 questions and probably #4._I typically have always had and have complete open brutal honesty in every relationship. I ask questions I want to know the honest answers to. And if I don't get an answer I let it go. I also don't look for a specific answer and I am damn sure not looking to only hear what I want to hear. Whatever the answer to the question I take it as is. I will remember the answer and if something is off and/or doesn't correspond with it at a later date I will question that.

  10. All I want is honesty. Shouldn't be too much to ask for, especially since I give it._I love love love a good story. I like hearing them more than telling them. So I've heard I can be long-winded when it comes to telling a story and make sure every detail is known…lol._But I only give answers/stories when I'm asked. _One that I would add is – Asking a mans opinion on things he could care less about – Like clothes, china, baby shower gifts, how something looks or fits, is the color right, what he thought of that episode of Real Housewives of whatever….Most men I know deplore being asked about things that have no real interest to them and that they consider "womanly" type of things.

  11. with the women in my family and friends circle, I am used to long exahausting stories and tales. LOL. I've also acquired the art of tuning OUT when these stories get told, unless it really does peak my interest. Hey, whatcha gonna do? SUE ME? LOL

    CO-ED BABY SHOWERS:_I've attended my 1st AND last one of those….I still say these should be for the ladies only. Yes, we know it takes 2 to make a baby [yawn], YES, we know the baby is both his AND hers [yawn], so with all of that being said…so what chicken butt…. LOL.

    I'm just saying.

    1. LOL, you may or may not have been to a Hispanic baby shower…cuz we have liquor and food and DJ's. The last one I went to had..strobe lights. **hangs head**

      1. TRUTH! Not just Hispanic baby showers either. I just finished planning one in August, and INDEED there was liquor and southern food to boot. A good time was had by all.

  12. I would put up with a lotta crap, If she just had some real and nice hair and kept herself in shape. . Just give me hair. Shhe can talk till the fat woman drops dead, Just give me Real Hair! I HATE WEAVES and HUGE WOMEN!

  13. YO!! #2

    I cannot stand when my answer to your question produces yet….another question, cmon son lol

    #5 Ask for advice while you getting dressed. Telling me im never involved in telling you how you look. Then not even listening to what I say.

    Her: umm can you help me, I dont know what to wear. How does this look on me?

    Me: I like the dress, but I feel like the black heels would go better ya know?

    Her: What!? pshh N#$#a plz you dont even know fashion. Keeps getting dressed

    W………….T…………..F lol

    I encourage my fellas to look up "Relationship Screams" by Dormtainment on Youtube. Id post the link, but you, work computer aint havin that lol

  14. I'm an obligatory toucher to the extreme! I like when my man is carrying a bunch of heavy stuff, and I poke the top of his butt crack LOL! Trying to hold a bike and swat is nearly impossible. Also, I like when I've asked him to change the light bulb and he's standing on a chair, and I tickle him. I like doing stuff that results in wrestling…. and other thangs *eyebrow wiggle*

    1. 'm an obligatory toucher to the extreme! I like when my man is carrying a bunch of heavy stuff, and I poke the top of his butt crack LOL!

      "So what you're really saying is…"

      1. Maybe so but i'm ok with that. lol Plus I have nice feet so they don't have to worry about that. BTW I don't slap the azz too hard lol 🙂

  15. As one of the resident married cats who frequents, and at times writes for SBM, I gotta say *checks to make sure wife isn't listening* bruh…this list is pure TROOF! It continues on in marriage, but as has been said, a woman/wife is worth it, so we deal.
    My recent post Late Night Thoughts…

    When i tell a random story my bf always says "FOCUS" or "This!! What you just said, what's the point with the rest of the story???"
    That makes me laugh TOO much,then i get confused telling my own story… So i just end up telling another story… Without transitionning… Imagine his face when he realizes that it's a complete different story… poor dude… No really i'm horrible!

  17. I know I have to work on my story-telling because as much as dude may not admit it, I can tell when I'm being tuned out. SILENCE plus common distractions like Social Media or Television are also factors. But here's the thing…part of the reason some of us are long-winded when talking to you is because we want you to share in the experience. We want you to feel us while we are talking and describing whatever it is. We want empathy, cheerleading, advice and attention. Some of us hold it in all day until we talk to you. Trust me when I tell you that our girlfriends hardly get as much detail, emphasis or colorful adjectives when being told a story. Big difference between, "girrrrrrrrrrrrrrl let me tell you what that b*tch did" vs, "babe, I can't believe what happened …I'm so upset…let me tell you about this crazy situation that happened the other day…." So pardon our disclaimers and preambles. Forgive our hand gestures, grunts, repetitiveness and sometimes tears. We like you. We may even love you. We just want to share! Either way, it's noted. I shall try my best not to talk thine ear off.

  18. Problem here is that most of us today refuse to tolerate much from anyone, yet with a straight-face expect to be tolerated by most everyone. RECIPROCITY… an art that is slowly going the way of the Dinosaur.


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