Home Featured Pharaoh Class: How to Attract a Superwoman

Pharaoh Class: How to Attract a Superwoman

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As you approach the Pharaoh phase of your life, in which your stars are aligned and your personal/professional affairs are at their peaks, you’re probably done playing with shallow girls and ready for a real empress. The player period is over and your jersey has been inducted into the Hall of Game. That doesn’t mean you don’t have physical standards, but they are more well-rounded and include invisible qualities. Of course we still fantasize about the bowlegged, overbitten model-type with no gag reflex, no daddy issues, educated with low mileage. Yet, now we usually imagine a 360 woman who is beautiful, intelligent and productive at home and in society. And the crazy thing is: those female unicorns actually exist, in abundance! But, if you want to bag one, you have to know her class and the world she walks in.

America prides itself on maintaining a class-less illusion, when in fact we are all straddling different socioeconomic rungs on the ladder. A high-powered woman requires a man who is in position to walk alongside her. A man who knows about the finer things and is comfortable operating in the upper echelon. Men sometimes make the mistake of reducing her to a good passenger-seat look and bed décor, forgetting that she comes with a whole lifestyle in which she’s accustomed. You must accommodate a set of social, political and economic circumstances that may be foreign to you, so let’s review some areas in which we can culture ourselves in.

I’ve dated along every notch in the class continuum, and I’ve noticed that high-class women tend to have more stringent dietary restrictions. Gone are the days when you could go get a ten-piece spicy and bring it home to a grateful stomach. Familiarize yourself with Veganism, low-carb and starch-free diets, and begin expanding your palette by trying delicacies that are outside the realm of steak-and-potatoes. She eats to live, and it isn’t a good look to choke on the oysters she had you try at the restaurant, simply because you weren’t prepared for the texture and taste.

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In that vein, say goodbye to the 2-for-20 specials at Applebees. You’re a big boy now. Get acquainted with upper-level eateries in which you pay for the atmosphere, not the cuisine. That environment will put you in the same space with high-caliber ladies, where you will have the opportunity to shake a hand and make a friend. How you gonna meet a 93-Octane woman at the free-before-11 cabaret? You won’t. Many opportunities in life are based on timing and positioning; and if you’re out all night filling up on unleaded ratchets, you will have no room for the premium queens who rise early. Put yourself in the proper environment to cross paths with a Supabad.

Brush up on your economic and political savvy as well. When you become Mr. Knowles, you will be moving in circles that require a certain level of social etiquette and worldly intelligence. Read. Become aware of current events, both foreign and domestic. Turn off ESPN; it’s a rerun anyway. You have to culture yourself, because if you can’t navigate social climates that require you to possess a degree of sophistication, you will find yourself increasingly left at home. Then one day, you will simply be left. Remember, you and your mate are mirrors, so make sure that you do your part to reflect royalty.

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Step your fashion game up – both yours and your knowledge of womens’. Educate yourself on the latest trends in couture, so you know how to spot symbols of affluence. Everyone knows about red bottoms (although I bet few people know how to identify them), but did you know that she would prefer Giuseppe Zanotti’s? Another open secret is that you can tell a lot about a woman by the bag she carries. It’s almost the equivalent of a man’s car, in that it’s a status symbol as much as it is a personality statement. Like most high-end products, the label is not always conspicuous, because the target audience is already familiar. You need to know enough about it that it doesn’t intimidate you when you see it.

This can be applied to her as well: don’t be too awed by her beauty and status – that’s how most men she meets act, and in doing so they disqualify themselves. Yeah, she’s fine and accomplished and all that, but she isn’t The Second Coming. Be impressed, not dehydrated. Communicate to her (non-verbally of course) that she stands to gain as much from allying with you as you do from her. At the end of the day, this is about mutual empowerment. I’m not here to help you K-Fed a chick.

To that end, are YOU the type of man who is valuable enough to be her shepherd in this life? What value does she stand to gain by choosing you? Because I will tell you right now: those types of women do NOT get used as on-ramps, not for long anyway. There is nothing that you can do for her that she can’t do for herself, materially speaking. So what can you give to the woman who seemingly has everything? The answer would take a part two, but its basically the same that everyone wants out of life and love: a peaceful, loving co-existence. You have to be a man of value, possessing intangibles that cannot be bought.

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Sounds like I just took you in a [email protected]$$ circle, right? I did, but that’s how the process goes: all of this is just a precursor to the real work. Having a certain level of class and sophistication only gets you in the door, purchases her attention and consideration, which is difficult enough. Once you’ve put in the work to attract her, distinguished yourself from the pack and got a legitimate shot at a committed relationship, you will find that most of the class-consciousness you learned goes right out the window. You now need a completely different set of skills to keep her. People who are financially secure tend to place a high emphasis on non-monetary qualities: integrity, loyalty (not to be confused with faithfulness) and emotional support, among many others. You must provide her a sense of normalcy in a life that is more than likely chaotic with high-stress careers, financial burdens and external pressures of expectations. Be the balancing force that provides peace, the silent strength that makes all of her exertions in life worth it. This is only a preview on how to keep her. But my time is up; 1,000 words sure ain’t what it used to be.

Good luck.

Grace

Comment(42)

  1. I can care less about her material possessions but otherwise i agree. Men are quick to complain about the caliber of women in the dating pool when theres an ocean behind them. Attend a mixer instead of a club, discuss a book instead of live tweeting l&hh atlanta, grab lunch at a cozy coffee shop instead of going to the drive thru. People seldom hold themselves accountable to people and environment they expose themselves to

  2. In my opinion….bad post. Horrible advice through and though. I feel like this should be titled "How to Become a Lame to Attract a Bougie Woman".
    Now why do I say "lame"? Because that just how I have to describe any situation where a person feels the need to become a fake version of themselves in the hopes of impressing someone of the opposite sex.
    You start the article saying you are in the Pharaoh phase of your life. This implies you have pretty much found yourself. You know who you are. You know what you like. So why now must you switch it up for someone else's approval? If you are a successful steak and potatoes eating, ESPN watching, balling in the park brother then why put on a facade where you appear to be some Caviar eating, poetry reading, mani/pedi man?
    Be who YOU are and attract the type of woman that likes who YOU are. Because no matter how good any woman looks, after enough time with them, they just become another regular woman. And when that happens the REAL you inside that doesn't care about all this fancy upper echelon crap will fight to come back out. Then what do you do? Keeping fronting for her, this woman who is no longer seeming so "super", or be the REAL you?

    Also, this implied picture of a Superwoman. All I see is you describing a woman with money and lives a high maintenance, "finer things" life. What about that makes her "Super"? If that is what determines "Super" then does that mean that every woman who isn't in the financial upper echelon is somehow a lesser woman? Incapable of being a superwoman to her man/family?

    1. I don't think he's telling men to give up anything to get this type of woman. I liken this to articles where men tell women how to become "wife material." Or how to acquire a particular man's interest. All day men sing the praises of a Beyonce, wanting just that, but because they are not refined, they will never bag that type of chick.

      I think this was good advice, especially if you're trying to upgrade. It's not about changing for anyone, it's about evolving and becoming a better you.
      My recent post What His Job Says About Him

      1. There is nothing wrong with bettering yourself if thats who you are actually doing it for….YOURSELF. But this article was written specifically with the point of "Do this to get her". No where in this article does it talk about self improvement for personal growth. Look at the article again. Change how you eat and eat how SHE does. Change what you normally watch so that you can fit into HER circles. Learn about high fashion so as to impress HER. What part of this is self improvement or becoming a better you? He goes on to say "Remember, you and your mate are mirrors, so make sure that you do your part to reflect royalty." But I don't see any example of a mirror here. I see a man trying to fashion himself into her clone.

        1. He said "familiarize yourself," with certain foods, not become a Vegan or vegetarian or whatever like you're suggesting. He's saying broaden your horizons so that you will be able to relate on some level IF this is the type of girl you want.

          Your mate does reflect you, so if you're seeking a 10, YOU should be a 10. If you want a classy lady, YOU need to be classy, etc.

          Furthermore, most of the things he's saying you should change are outer qualities, not inner. If he were saying that he should change himself fundamentally, I would feel differently, but he's not. He's not saying get learn to be funny, or don't like ribs anymore. Simply put, a hot dog eating, video game playing slob is not going to attract this caliber of woman, so YES, if that's who or what he wants, he WILL need to step his game up.

          What you say is all well and good, but most of the time, we are doing things to make ourselves more attractive the opposite sex.
          My recent post What His Job Says About Him

        2. If the point of this article is to say "How to catch 'Classy' Lady" then I will say that at best this is poorly titled and constructed. But its titled "How to catch a Superwoman". That alone is problem enough as I don't think anyone can really decide for anyone else what classifies a "Superwoman".

          People need to step away from the idea of how a successful person or super man/woman is supposed to act. Their is no mold. No set of rules to what they eat. What they wear. Where they go or what they enjoy on their own time. There are well off, financially successful men and women dressed up like comic superheros and walking around Comicon in the Javits Center right now. Others who can't wait to get home, kick off their shoes, grab a beer and watch the game.

          But I will digress from that and pose to your another question. Lets say a man does familiarize himself with these things; the vegan low calorie lifestyle, the coutour fashion, long conversations about politics; because the woman he is attracted to is ALL about that. She is a straight vegan with no exceptions. She wears nothing but high fashion and wants the same from her mate. She detests sports and her tv seems to stay on CNN. He does this to, as you say, be able to relate to her on some level but realizes that he neither likes these things nor would he incorporate them into his life. Now what is supposed to happen between the two? Its obvious that they are not going to work is it not? So what was the point?

        3. If this is the type of woman he wanted, he wins! It is to be assumed that he values these things or else he wouldn't even set his sight son a woman with these types of qualities. Additionally, there must be qualities outside of what foods she likes or what her hobbies are that make him go after her in the first place. That is why all my comments were prefaced with "If this is the type of woman he wants."

          I'm not going to get into the title not being fitting because I get the overall gist of what the author is trying to say. Superwoman, classy, 10, Dime, wifey, bad chick, whatever you want to call it…it's all the same.

          I think we all change to some extent for the "right" person. Hopefully, it's for the better. Wouldn't you want a partner who takes interest in the things that interest you even if it's not necessarily their cup of tea?

          My recent post What His Job Says About Him

        4. "It is to be assumed that he values these things or else he wouldn't even set his sight son a woman with these types of qualities."

          We, men, do it on a daily basis. Set our sights on women while have absolutely no concern about their qualities. Do it for the sole purpose of trying to bed her. It requires no hard stretch of the imagination to understand that. But lets say those ARE qualities he does value. Then why is he, this man in the "Pharaoh phase" of his life where, as the author put it, "…your stars are aligned and your personal/professional affairs are at their peaks", not already incorporating these things into his life? Why is it that he isn't familiarizing himself (and I am going to get to this "familiarize" thing in a moment) with these things long before he pursues a woman who has those qualities? His personal and professional life are at their PEAKS but NOW he needs begin to familiarize himself with new things? Where was the development in his personal life before this point then?

        5. And as for this "familiarizng", when a new iOS comes out I familiarize myself with that…because its new and I have no knowledge of it. I need to understand the functionality. If a buy a new car I familiarize myself with it because its new and I want to know all its features. What well developed, successful American living anywhere near a metropolitan area is not familiar with such basic knowledge things as veganism or politics or high fashion or most any other generally known "quality"? I feel like this "get familiar" is just a soft way of telling someone to change or alter to some degree their interests/routine/life.

          My point about the "superwoman, dime, bad chick, etc" is that its not the same for each man. For one it might be a Wine and Cheese, Museum Gala attending woman while for another its a woman so versed in sports that she could sit on an ESPN panel and argue with the best of them. There is no set criteria. This article suggested otherwise though.

          "Wouldn't you want a partner who takes interest in the things that interest you even if it's not necessarily their cup of tea?"

          I would. I did. And I presently have. But the thing is she didn't have to familiarize (that word again) herself with the things I was interested in to grab my attention nor I hers. She liked who I was without me having to familiarize myself with her interests. I liked what I saw in her without her having to familiarize herself with my interests. As we grew together some things I am interested in she has decided to participate in. Others she won't even come close to. Some still she calls me absolutely insane for doing lol. Its the same in return. But the key was we didn't have to "become this" to "attract that". We found someone who was attracted to who we each already were.

        6. I have no idea, as this person does not exist in real life. I get what you're saying…be yourself. But, in my opinion, the author is not saying don't be yourself.

          I meet many men who may have great jobs and are in a good position financially, but that doesn't make them "refined." I don't eat beef or pork. Often, the guy I'm dating will stop eating these same dishes b/c either I'm cooking or he's cooking and who wants to make two different dishes. You begin to adopt a similar lifestyle. In essence, he is changing how he eats, but it's for the better, so this isn't a bad thing.

          I have a friend who had not gone to college, and was just working a regular 9-5. When she met her now husband, he put her on track. She ended up going to college, and becoming a CPA. He already had his MBA from a very reputable university, but she changed, and for the better.

          My point is, change isn't bad. Becoming cultured isn't bad. Learning to appreciate the finer things in life isn't bad either. I'm not sure why you are viewing this evolution as a bad thing, even if he's doing it to GET her. So what! Heaven forbid he actually likes himself as a fashion savvy vegan politician lol That's not lame.
          My recent post What His Job Says About Him

        7. Please don't misunderstand me. I do not mean to imply that CHANGE is wrong or bad. I have no issue with being inspired by your mate or interest. I have no problem with someone opening you eyes to new experiences. I believe that those things can be very good. Its part of how we grow. But I don't see those things in what the author of this article wrote at all. I believe his angle was completely different.

          Changing for the sole purpose of attracting someone who wouldn't otherwise be attracted to the real you. That is what I took from this article. And that kind of change I cannot co-sign.

          Have you seen the movie "The Ugly Truth"? If not, I'm sorry but I'm about to spoil a part of it lol. Thats how I see this article even though the movie is reversed. The lead actress is instructed on how to portray herself to win the affection of her doctor neighbor. She listens, it works and they begin a relationship. But at some point she asks him what he loves about her. In his response all the things he loves about her are the things she was instructed to "pick up" to win his attention and all the things he would dislike happen to be who she really was. She realizes that no matter how much she may like him, no matter how much he may fit into her image of her perfect guy the reality is that he doesn't fit into hers and it will never work. Thats how I read this article today. To me it reads "Adopt/Incorporate/Familiarize these certain things so that you can attain that type of woman". That is perfectly fine if you are also that type of man. But if not, at some point, you are going to have to face your own Ugly Truth.

        8. I saw The Ugly Truth actually, and like I said, I get what you're saying, but we just don't agree on what the author's angle was, and unless he is reading these comments, we never will know what idea he was trying to convey.

          I think "changing" to win someone can go both ways. In your scenario, it results in a one-sided, unfulfilling relationship, but there are situations where it can work. Not all men are egocentric or stuck in their ways to the extent that they will not change to be with a particular woman. But, I don't think their willingness to change for a woman is lame or a sign of weakness…just different strokes for different folks.

  3. "Because no matter how good any woman looks, after enough time with them, they just become another regular woman." Exactly larnelw. And I would also add to that no matter how much money a woman has and how powerful and elite she is, after a while she becomes, "another regular woman." If u don't know ask Eric Benet, Stedman Graham, and J-Lo's ex's. After a while Everybody does something to get on your last nerve, frustrate you, and/or just piss you off. It's just that the better looking someone is and the more material things they have to offer, the more we give them a free pass and let sh** slide.

  4. I personally enjoyed this. I get people's qualms with "changing" yourself. I think it's being internalized the wrong way.

  5. It's quite fine to culture yourself a bit more. I told a friend back in college that Movies for a first date defeat the purpose of interacting with someone on a first date. I felt like you want to talk and vibe a bit more on those. I encouraged him to try new things.

    I'm about creating moments that a woman would always look back and smile on. So yes there's more to the world than 2 for 20 Applebees dinners. It's okay to learn about how Basquiat came to Prominence and the importance of Warhol in his life.

    It does help to be well read. I am not big on politics nor do I think you have to be. The point is to be multifaceted, be interesting. I can talk to you about ESPN I love sports, but I can also tell you when to rock a camisole (if that's how it's spelt) under a blazer if you think it going to be warm in a venue. Or if it's the fall then it's suede pumps or leather boots season etc.

    You're encouraging guys to think outside the box while maintaining their essence, that's imperative; to me at least.

    I can dig it.

    1. But the point is to do those things for yourself. Do them because YOU want it. Not because you are trying to get someone. If its not something you want then given enough time, at some point, you will start to reject it.
      This article speaks all about "Become this and give up that to get her". For example, "Familiarize yourself with Veganism, low-carb and starch-free diets…". If you didn't eat that way before and have no desire to eat that way then why should you change for someone else?

        1. When you hear me tell women to change who they are to impress or get a man then you will have a point. But for now, sorry, your comment does not apply. I'm a strong advocate of telling people to be themselves.

        2. I concur larnelw. If your anyone else eventually you will get tired of trying to be someone your not, and your real self will come out. Hence why people break up due to "irreconcileable differences" and state that the person "changed." It's not too often that grown people over 25 and in their 30's do a complete 360 and change. Wants and needs may change. But usually what really happened, was somebody was pretending, and at some point "people stopped being polite, and started getting real."
          And Everyone ended up in the Real World.

      1. I didn't think it was saying to become a Vegan, only eat low carb and starch free diets all of a sudden to get a woman, as much as it was saying try a vegan restaurant so she can eat a meal she enjoys ALSO instead of just having a limp salad at Applebee's…

        Plenty of people with different likes are in healthy working relationships because they care enough to respect and explore the other person's likes. Seems simple to me: Broaden your horizons if you want to date a different type of person. Otherwise quit your complaining and stay happily in your lane. Doesn't mean you have to change what you like at all.

        1. My wife eats some types of food that I don't like at all. Some foods I will try. Others I will not. But here is the thing….when we started dating I didn't have to first familiarize myself with any other kinds of food to get her. Nor any other kinds of music, fashion, topics, etc. I already had her. She liked who I already was. Same thing in reverse.
          But thats not how this article is written. Its very clearly written "Do this, try that, start that all for the CHANCE to get her".

  6. Cosign larnelw. Unless u want to. Sure people do make changes and do things they don't normally do and try new things when they are with someone and thats a great thing. It helps u to grow and experience new things. I've enjoyed (most) the food I've tried from dating and having friends of various cultures. However it should only be done if you want to do it. And if you try something and don't like it then don't do it. At then end of the day, some things about a person u have to accept just as they are. If you can't don't be with that person.

    1. "At then end of the day, some things about a person u have to accept just as they are. If you can't don't be with that person."

      So true.
      I think what this really is about is people in some way trying to justify altering themselves to attract someone they are truly only VISUALLY attracted to. Because if their lifestyle is something you enjoy (and can afford/maintain) then why weren't you already doing so BEFORE you choose to pursue? You weren't a grassatarian before you wanted to date her but not you are going to familiarize yourself with it just to relate? Come on! You know you are a carnivor through and through. Skip this woman and find you a visually attractive carnivor that wants to help you slaughter that cow

  7. <<<<Stands in Applause. It is about time there was an article from a MAN, on how to attract this type of woman. The only thing that is missing in this article would the inner qualities that REALLY define a woman as"super". If ANY person has the right mind, spirit, and character they can be ANY of those things listed above and even if thats not the lifestyle a woman wants to live, she can be "super" in her own fly way.

  8. I agree that there should be as many post for men how to become better men for a better women. (Hell there are like 90 million on what women do wrong.) However, the delivery, went awry. I think you should definitely open your mind to try new things and go new places. If you do not like, then don't do it again. At least you can tell someone that you didn't like something because you actually tried it. (you know those people who don't like nothing and have no good reason why they don't like it). You should be yourself and open to change, because that's what life is about. However, do not lose the core you in the process.
    My recent post When I’m gone:The importance of after life planning

    1. Payne well you said this very well. This I cosign on. U should not change the core of who you are and lose the essence of what makes you, you to be open-minded and broaden your horizons.
      AllWays stay true to thine own self.

  9. "Brush up on your economic and political savvy as well. When you become Mr. Knowles, you will be moving in circles that require a certain level of social etiquette and worldly intelligence. Read. "

    Have you heard Beyonce (aka Ms. Knowles) speak? I'm pretty sure she doesn't read.
    Bad example.

  10. I am somewhat conflicted. There were some really good points in the post. " Once you’ve put in the work to attract her, distinguished yourself from the pack and got a legitimate shot at a committed relationship" Its simple, but alot of people dont keep this in mind. They take this Ima be me, and only do things that make me happy a bit far. I agree with @DamnPops that the post isnt too wrong to point out that its good to be well rounded, and knowledgable in other things others might not be.

    On the other hand though, the post in its entirety did take the "change me" factor on a long run. Dont lose yourself too much in the hype of getting a "upper echelon" woman, or any woman for that matter. The post def did not describe superwoman, that much i can agree. Also, ill take note to be aware of Veganism, but my steak, potatoes, and occasional 10 peice nuggets probably will not be left in the dark lol.

    All in all though, there are some great things that can be taken away with this post, and since after reading, my mind was was opened some, you get a +1for the post from me brotha.

  11. This was golden. I’m glad it came from a man. For the men complaining, we can see where the problem is. Those 2 for’s were designed special just for yall. *flips hair*

    1. So you are saying you want a weak man that changes everything about himself just to impress/attract you? Thats the kind of guy you fancy?

  12. Learning a bit more about the world around you is absolutely UNRELATED to "changing who you are". I bet a good portion of the people who see no point to this article would turn right around and look at a person who doesn't have a passport with a side-eye. And honestly, as a woman I get told every DAY how I need to "improve", "adjust", "rearrange" or "re-order" something about myself to "attract a man". I don't care for football but I learned the game. I prefer jeans but I know what dresses flatter me best on a date. Numbers make me sleepy but I can discuss curent events in finance. No one is saying to adopt a new persona, but you really only have two choices in the dating game-you can become the type of person that the person you want is attracted to. Or, you could just learn to like what you attract.

    My recent post StyleWatch; Evelyn Lozada Launches Vida Lux Cosmetics!

  13. I think that my post went over quite a few heads. One of the problems with intelligent people is that we sometimes overthink things that ought to be cut-and-dry. M

    Many of the objections to my post have to do with my description of a Superwoman, Superbad, Dimepiece, whatever. This definition is more of a compass to describe a QUALITY female, one who lives her life with purpose, develops her personal, professional, intellectual, spiritual, and yes – her financial- self. This is the general definition that I was aiming for, open to the reader's interpretation. Not all quality women care about fashion in equal measure, some of them do eat Popeyes, and otherwise "break the mold" as it were. But my point here was to paint a picture of someone who, when she walks by, you forget your sentence, and maybe your name for just a second.

    The other major objection I see has to do with whether a man should seek to develop himself in order to cross paths/attract a Supabad. If you have to question whether or not, as a man, you should be working to develop and grow as an adult, well then you may be on the wrong site. Every day, you should strive to better your knowledge of worldly affairs, culture (however you define it – be it fashion, cuisine, music, etc), politics, and economics/finance. That's a given, whether you are searching for a better mate or not.

    In short, you should be stepping your game up regardless. As a byproduct of your natural progression through life, you will begin to attract and be attracted to higher-caliber women, however you define it. My job as a writer is not to get you to agree with my every word; it is to make you THINK, and find your own truth along the topic I've introduced. But hey, if you wanna mess with the same types of women forever, thats your business.

    SN: I wrote this almost exclusively for my fellas, thinking that the ladies would not understand what I was tryna convey. By reading the comments, I see that I was clearly mistaken, and most of the ladies got the point. LOL, the ironies of life. Peace and Blessings Loved Ones.
    My recent post The Ex Factor: How to Detox and Recover

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