Home Featured Things Women Do That Men Will Never Understand

Things Women Do That Men Will Never Understand

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It’s well known that sometimes the signals get crossed between men and women, that’s probably never going to change. Here’s a few things women do that leave men clueless:

1. Say we’re “fine,” when we’re really not fine.
If you haven’t done this, you have yet to graduate to womanhood. Nothing’s more frustrating that being angered by a man only to have him not understand why you are upset with him. Your only adequate recourse: say you’re “fine,” and expect him to figure it out on his own. Obviously.

Why do we do this? In some cases, it’s because right after an argument, we haven’t gotten our thoughts together to adequately explain why we’re unhappy; in other cases it’s because we’re not feeling assertive enough in the moment to explain what’s bothering us. Often enough, however, it results from just wanting the dude to know what’s up without us having to spell everything out for him which, we realize, isn’t always the best strategy.

2. Wear our highest heels on a date, then complain all night about how badly our feet hurt.
Dear all men everywhere: here’s why we do this. We wear the shoes because they look beautiful; we complain because they hurt. These two behaviors are not mutually exclusive. We hate to be the ones to break it to you, but this will probably never change.

If we wear our highest high heels on a date to the beach, the gym, on a bike ride, or to a football game in November, then you’re allowed to complain.

3. Ask if we look good in a new dress, then get upset when the response is anything but “absolutely, you look amazing.”
This is something women do despite themselves. We aren’t stupid; we know going into it that this isn’t the greatest idea. And it’s illogical to boot: there is only one acceptable response (at least, if we’re dealing with a man who knows where his bread is buttered). And yet, we ask anyway. Why?

Probably because, like any human being, we enjoy being told we look good—which at the root stems from the desire to feel good. And despite the fact that we know we don’t need to ask for such approval, we still care what you think when it comes to certain items, like a pretty new dress we bought to wear to a big event with you.

4. Claim we have no expectations, then get upset when we don’t get what we want.

We want to believe we’re able to go with the flow and take things as they come, so we say things like, “It’s okay, we’ll go to dinner wherever you want!” or “I don’t care, what do you want to do?” but then get irked when things don’t go our way. This is probably because we want to avoid the idea that we might be “high-maintenance” at any cost, which is silly now that we think about it because a simple “I’d rather eat pizza than sushi tonight” goes a long way.

[Read the rest at StyleCaster]

What are some other things women do that men don’t understand? Ladies, do you think guys just fake like they don’t understand you when they actually do?

Comment(57)

    1. @chocolate vent, we ask to hear about ya feelings because we do care about them..for the most part. But when women can’t explain their feelings/emotions logically, that’s when us men don’t even bother with having “that” conversation with our women

  1. The one that gets beat to death is: "I want a good guy who is nice and treats me well"
    Then goes and dates the bad guy who is a ahole that strings her along.

    She has kids, but won't date a man with kids

    Wears a short skirt that stops right below her booty, yet constantly tries to pull it down.

    Wears low cut shirts and tight pants but gets upset when men look

    Claims to be a progressive independent woman who calls men cavemen who wants a woman that can clean and cook, yet expects the man to pay for every date because its the mans "role" and it tradition.

    I can keep going lol

    1. Come on..we all do this. I know plenty a dude that says they want an intelligent classy career woman, but run after Kimbella in the lounge; or slanders single moms but has two kids by two different women; or wants to go dutch every date but considers cooking and cleaning the merits of "wifey material".
      My recent post Looks I’m Loving: The Jumpsuit!

      1. "they want an intelligent classy career woman, but run after Kimbella in the lounge"

        We do, but we never wife those and then get mad when it didnt work out, then head right back to the same lounge looking for kimbella 2.0

        "slanders single moms but has two kids by two different women"

        ive seen it, but not from enough dudes to apply it to the general(even though we shouldnt be doing this lol i know i know)

        "wants to go dutch every date but considers cooking and cleaning the merits of "wifey material"

        if we going dutch on every date, we are not planning to make her wifey material. That or the women should know better than to date this type of guy anyway

        These points only really apply to not up to par men. not all. But all the points we got apply to women everywhere, bad, ugly, classy, nerdy, wifey material, that ratchet girl. yall all do it lol

        1. 1. Nope not true at all

          2. Clearly I've seen this more often than you have so I can say it's an epidemic LOL

          3. True

          4. Yes the initial 5 point are possibly true to all women, these last few "extra" points …Nah champ

      2. True…no one disputes this or is suggsting men don't do it, too…however this post is titled: "Things Women Do That Men Will Never Understand" lmaooo…..I'm sure hte "Things that Men Do…." post is coming soon enough.

    2. She has kids, but won't date a man with kids

      I hear this from men all the time. I understand the logic (kinda) But truth I really don't understand this phenomenon at all O_o

      1. It's simple. There is this rediculous, innacurate and yet frightenengly pervasive train of thought that a one-time admittance equals an all-access pass…simply because she bore his child.
        It's hypocritical as all h#ll, because they KNOW it isn't the case with them personally, they just assume it for other people until proven otherwise.
        My recent post Looks I’m Loving: The Jumpsuit!

        1. thanks for that. I don't have any kids but I have heard this from women ALL the time.

          I guess you can learn a lil something on a blog site.

    3. "The one that gets beat to death is: "I want a good guy who is nice and treats me well"
      Then goes and dates the bad guy who is a ahole that strings her along."
      Men say and do the same thing. There are many a single big girl who may only be an admin assistant or work at a dept store, she may have a small 1 bedroom efficiency and may not dress all that fly, but she can suck a mean **** (u know what) would put u to bed J Holiday Style and would treat you like a king and make you breakfast in bed practically every day. My cousin is a big girl and when she did have a man one time she actually bathed this kneegro after he got off from work and ate the 5 course meal she cooked. Then she proceeded to lick and suck him from head to toe, (including sucking his toes while doing stuff with her hands). But yall don't want Big Tish cause she big and got a min wage job and she watches too much tv and doesn't get out enough. Yall want cute Kim even though she is high maint and a bit** on wheels whose azz your required to kiss for her to be somewhat nice to you.
      Sorry mpj, but miss me with that one. That goes both ways.

      1. ill go only as far to say im a tad bit superficial with the big thing. preferences. and even then its a stretch, cuz if she is down to get healthy im with it, only because health is of the essence to me. Other than that though she doesnt get out enough, watches tv too much, min wage job. This says volumes about lifestyle, ambition and other things.Im sorry but bomb head and dinner cant save everybody. You cant blame anybody for wanting more than that come on now

        1. I feel you Unk. But just like the fella's who are Trashmen, mailmen, and truckdrivers and happy and content with that. Fella's who don't like going out of the country, prefer to eat at home more than going out, don't like clubs and poetry, don't like goin anywhere there are large crowds, are not adventurous, stay in their mama or aunties basement, or have a roommate, that want and need love too, so do the ladies. (The skinny and "thick" ones too) who are receptionist, admins, work in retail at NY & Co and Macy's, make less than $35,000 a year before taxes, don't like going out of the country, aren't adventurous, can't swim, enjoy chillin at home, and watchin movies, aren't in sorority, didn't go to or graduate from college, etc etc etc. (that was for all the admins I know and the receptionist at my job).

        2. I get wanting an upwardly mobile person who is fit, attractive, active in the community, is educated, interesting, has charisma, is established, stable, good credit, has things about them u can brag about to your friends and fam, and someone who u can be a "power couple" with. That's all well and good. I've come up in my life a lot. But I never forget that I was the first person in my immediate fam to get a college degree. I come from a family of simple, easy going, uncomplicated people. Mom worked in a five and dime store and a shoe store, my dad was a lab tech, my grandfather was a factory worker for Scott Paper, now Kimberly Clark, much of my fam were factory workers for then Scott Paper Co., my uncle is a retired mailman. I've dated 2 truck drivers before.

        3. Those people make the world go around and contribute as much to society as the "upper class and upper middle class" do. Despite their occupations and quirks, all of my family is very loving, kind, sweet, mature, responsible and just a great bunch of people. I feel very blessed to call them my family. Most all of us came from humble beginnings. Maybe it's the romantic in me, but I think Everyone deserves a shot at real love. Regardless of their income, credit, occupation, interests or lack thereof or whatever.
          Just my 2 pennies.

        4. naw you are most def right. Everybody does need love. Maybe im just speaking from a very general place when it comes to society. depending on who you are like you said some ppl just want be others preferences. As societal norms are now, majority of ppl wont go for that stay at home, watch tv all day, and min job lifestyle. or maybe thats the minority? either way though i hear you theres a brotha out there for the big tishes of the world lol

        5. Preferences: manspeak for physically attractive. I choose the stay in your league approach to this. My problem @uNk is that the majority men are not up to par, not all men are attractive AND highly successful AND multi-millionaires with no where to go but up. Majority of men are lacking in some respect but yet MEN should be given chance despite what they lack because deserves love but a woman that is lacking in any sense just has to deal. This is that double standard thing again when a man is encouraged to dream above his circumstances but not a woman. If you absolutely Top notch you deserve absolutely top not but if you are lacking I feel like you should be more forgiving of your partners flaws whatever they are. And society's view who you should love is a jacked up reference.

        6. "Majority of men are lacking in some respect but yet MEN should be given chance despite what they lack because deserves love but a woman that is lacking in any sense just has to deal. "

          Theres some things wrong with this, which is why I cant agree

          1. as long as men stay the aggressors common sense would tell us that women will always have to deal with whatever men choose to approach. Thats what sitting and waiting does, it applies to every aspect in life, not just being goal oriented. Men always on the hunt of course will find something better somewhere and wont have to just deal.

          2. i never said that a woman cant find something better, just was addressing big tish. big tony would have to step it up too if it were on the other hand. With big tish/tony they both would have to deal because they dont get out nowhere, aint no man/woman come find you on the couch.

  2. -say we dont understand things when we do but just happen to not agree

    -wont listen to a word you say but will read every character or every tweet

    -gets jealous of other women but will flirt and thirst trap and act oblivious to it

    -will apologize and expect one right back for you actually being mad at them in the first place

    -wants the world as a girlfriend but always telling you what she’ll only do for her husband

    1. Y'all preaching, but as usual the ladies gotta play one-up instead of just admitting that there are chicks that do this or better yet if they have done or currently doing this. It would further the conversation a whole lot more and maybe get to a place of understanding. We've been hearing for the last 30 years how we need to do better and be better and change things to oblige the "fairer sex" It just comes off like ladies feel like they have nothing they need to work on or change, like all issues between the sexes can be solved "if men just…" *yawns*

  3. #3 is just so stupid and cliche! It’s the old “how do I look” question/trap. Do black women really ask this question to us men?? I think black men are too brutally honest with our women when it comes to their looks,so this question never really gets asked unless the woman has thick skin or incredible style lol

  4. I think sometimes men do feign ignorance on certain women aspects. As many women as men goes through, they have to know some signs here and there.(learning from history) It's just pretending not to know so they wont have to deal will arguments, messing up specific situations, etc etc etc
    My recent post Random Review: Gym Pact

      1. hmmm

        The one that gets beat to death is: "I want a good guy who is nice and treats me well"
        Then goes and dates the bad guy who is a ahole that strings her along.(DId this early 20s don't have time for this now, i share how i feel and keep it moving if it doenst work out for me.)

        She has kids, but won't date a man with kids(no kids, but don't mind dating a man with kids, if he has the qualities i want and raises his children the way i would raise my own)

        Wears a short skirt that stops right below her booty, yet constantly tries to pull it down.( this is true lol)

        Wears low cut shirts and tight pants but gets upset when men look(You can look just don't touch)

        Claims to be a progressive independent woman who calls men cavemen who wants a woman that can clean and cook, yet expects the man to pay for every date because its the mans "role" and it tradition.( i mainly recommend going dutch unless i feel like this is a guy i'm really interested. But i believe that i would be the main person cooking and cleaning if i meet the one.

        1. +1 to your answers, appreciate the honestly

          Wears a short skirt that stops right below her booty, yet constantly tries to pull it down.
          ( this is true lol)

          haha smh

  5. I think guys understand us more than we'd like to admit. If he doesn't understand me, and we're partners well then, there's something I wasn't forthcoming about, a process we didn't do. I'm pretty sure I do #1 and #4 (sometimes – more often than not, I know what I want especially when it comes to eating and activities of the like), but rarely #3. I know what works for my body and what doesn't, if I like it that's all that matters, I'm not really asking for his gold star.

    1. @ashleydouble, yes yes thank u for giving men some credit lol. Women make us sound like we are just Neanderthals at times,especially when dealing with women. We were raised in the house with sisters,moms, and grandmas too. We have an idea of how women work lol , we definitely aren’t clueless lol

  6. Yea i dont have too much else to add with the comments above but i will say this post shows just how oblivious some women are to the "interesting" things they do lol.

  7. #s 1 and 7 definitely apply to me. And I've heard of the other stuff happening, but #5 just sounds stupid. Does this really happen? Like in real life? First of all, that's just rude to eat off someone else's plate when you had the opportunity to get your own. Matter of fact, I'm quick to tell someone no if they try to eat off mine lol. If I want some dessert, dang it I'm getting me some dessert with absolutely no shame.

    But yes, I do think that men know more than they like to let on. But in many cases where they don't, I think there's some willful ignorance going on. Yes, in a lot of situations I do think that women should just be open about whatever is bothering us. On the other hand, it usually doesn't take too much effort to observe the situation and come to a conclusion when a woman is upset. When a woman say "fine", sometimes it's an expression of disappointment because it feels like he didn't find it important to make that effort on his own and he's not in tuned to her.

    1. "On the other hand, it usually doesn't take too much effort to observe the situation and come to a conclusion when a woman is upset."

      But

      It really does tho lol of course the dots link together in your head because you're the one mad. If you look at it from an experience point of view, i know there are way too many things i probably do on a daily basis that could annoy a gf. When you come to me at the end of the day (when we in bed about to go to sleep lol) aint nobody tryna have trial and error questions so you can get more mad.

      1. If you look at it from an experience point of view, i know there are way too many things i probably do on a daily basis that could annoy a gf.

        LOL, in this situation you know it's something that you did though, so let that be your starting point. You at least know that much, and most of the time that's all we really need to know. But we would also like to know that you're self-aware enough to see how your actions impact us. And that you care enough to make reasonable adjustments when necessary. Sometimes you're not, and sometimes you don't. But other times yall play dumb and pretend that you have absolutely no clue why a woman is upset. I used to think that one of my exes was completely clueless until I overheard a conversation he was having with one of his boys. Long story short, he knew when he did something out of line, he just didn't want to address it while I was in my anger. So he would pretty much never apologize, but he would correct himself on his own. Very eye opening eavesdropping session lol…

        1. "we would also like to know that you're self-aware enough to see how your actions impact us. And that you care enough to make reasonable adjustments when necessary"

          most of the time we never here it right when that action was done tho, and we made too many other actions after that to try and pick and choose. i feel you tho, i do. just gota chalk it up to you having an oblivous bf lol because sometimes we really are just oblivious. help us help you lol

  8. In the spirit of fairness, can we please flip this list and create one on things men do that we will never understand and why they do them?
    To #1 – The only time I do that is at work, (cause it's work and nobody wants to hear about your problems and issues. They want you to leave all that ish at the door and be ready to work cause thats what your getting paid to do, not vent).
    I also only do this if I know for sure the person asking can do Nothing to help me. I'm not really a venter. Other people vent to me all the time and I'm cool with it. But not the other way around. I figure it's no point in me telling someone my problems who cannot help me solve them. So thats my logic in that and it makes perfect sense to me. 🙂
    2. I know every man doesn't do this, but men Please Be Clear on the date plans. Please have a date plan. Be able to give me an idea of how to dress and where we're going. I'm cool with suprises, but even if u can't tell me what to wear be able to tell me what not to wear.

    1. "I also only do this if I know for sure the person asking can do Nothing to help me. I'm not really a venter. Other people vent to me all the time and I'm cool with it. But not the other way around. I figure it's no point in me telling someone my problems who cannot help me solve them. So thats my logic in that and it makes perfect sense to me. 🙂 "

      This is me. I'm a Pragmatic Realist and Agnostic, don't tell me to Pray about my Issues when they are Still Happening- in Real Time and Getting Worse. I Want/Need/Expect Solutions and Action and not Prayer.

    2. In the spirit of fairness, can we please flip this list and create one on things men do that we will never understand and why they do them?

      #1. Proclaim, shout and holler from the mountain top how much they want a Claire Huxtable but ain't trying to be or nowhere near close to a Cliff Huxtable!

  9. This has happened when men have failed miserably at trying to "surprise" me; and when men have failed to have a good idea of what they want to do and where we're going. If u know we will be doing a whole lot of walking around Adams Morgan have the common courtesy to let me know to wear comfortable shoes. Damn. (ok that was personal) lol. Seriously though, in my experiences this has happened when men were not clear about date plans and/or ideas even after an in-depth discussion about it, and/or after I specifically ask them what we're doing and where we're going.

  10. #3 – I don't do that so I pass. Every question I ask I want an honest answer, good or bad. Real talk.

    #4 – I don't do either. I would guess that some women do this because they don't get what they want and ask for regardless. So at the end of the day they are like "screw it, I don't want nothing and don't want u to do nothing." Least thats what I've heard. For ex, when women ask men to do something, it's never done how they want it done to their exact specifications. idk, ijs.

  11. #4 I do sometimes, and #5 I do not do. 7 women have to be able to do for our survival.
    When a woman has a baby naturally she has to focus on her breathing, deal with hella pain and push the baby out and push the right way so the baby comes out; and all this many times can take Hours literally. How many men could do all of that without straight blacking out after a few minutes. Also every really good parent Must know how to multi-task very well or they will never make it and their poor kids will suffer miserably.

  12. I don't really do many of these, but two that were issues for me were because I didn't communicate properly.

    1. Say we’re “fine,” when we’re really not fine.
    I was very bad at this until one day I by no fault of my own blurted out "I'm not, I just would rather not speak about it right now." A light bulb went off in my head and I've used it ever since. I'm the type to say things I mean but have no business saying when in a certain level of anger, so I prefer to speak when I can be more objective.
    My recent post Looks I’m Loving: The Jumpsuit!

    1. 4. Claim we have no expectations, then get upset when we don’t get what we want.
      This is a tricky one, because men at times have umm…"selective comprehension". I really am more of a Dr. Jay type in the "lets just see how this goes first" vein, BUT for some reason it comes off as a "go with the flow girl", which I'm not. I have a very clear view of what I want out of a relationship, I just like to take my time to see if I'd like it with YOU. Only problem is, that [email protected] "selective comprehension" rears its head and they'd only hear the first part of that last sentence and repeat back to me i just said I'm a "ring chaser". O_o It took me a minute to find a happy medium, but in general I'd rather risk you leaving and speak up than endure an unfulfilling union for the sake of having a body in my bed.
      My recent post Looks I’m Loving: The Jumpsuit!

        1. Hilariously I understand that one. "I would like to at some point be in a relationship" has been turned into "I'd like a relationship with YOU.RIGHT. NOW." by many a woman, too. What I never got was how, "hey, let's see how this goes first before we get into all that relationship talk" translated to "I don't ever want to be in a monogomous relationship. EVER." and I get blamed for the "bait and switch" when I question what he thinks of our potential.
          My recent post Looks I’m Loving: The Jumpsuit!

      1. "I have a very clear view of what I want out of a relationship, I just like to take my time to see if I'd like it with YOU." I 2nd this Amaris

  13. I am so late on this one.

    Numbers 4 and 7 are mine. That damn closet is filled with clothes, but when I want to go out I can't find anything!

  14. She wont date a man who has kids, but she has kids….

    I feel this one whole heartedly. I have a kid and would prefer not to date a man who doesn't have any kids myself. Sorry for being shallow or selfish. I will date a man with one or maybe two kids (two is pushing it), but after that H E L L no, I will not explain the reasons why. Read between the lines…..

  15. Articles like these get on my nerves!!!

    "Say we’re “fine,” when we’re really not fine.
    If you haven’t done this, you have yet to graduate to womanhood."

    More like women who do this are stuck in childhood. I say what I mean and mean what I say. Why is that so hard for many people? Men expect us to never have our minds made up. And when they date a woman that is clear with what they mean/say, they don't believe us because they rely on articles like these. Then that screws up the relationship and the guy wonders what's wrong cause he thought he did everything right, but it's simply because the woman wasn't being immature.

    I think it's dumb to wear heels on a date when you know it's inappropriate. You can still be just as attractive and stunning in lower heels or comfortable shoes. It's not like sneakers are the only other shoe option.

    I don't ask if the guy likes the dress/outfit I have on because if he really likes it, he'll say it. If I ask then most of the time he says something stupid and I wished I never said anything.

    I have to admit that it's true that I say I have nothing to wear when I have a closet that looks like it's about to explode any minute. But it's because I buy the same types of things over and over. I hate the winter so I have a ton of casual summer clothes (I'm a hipster at heart). I don't go on fancy dates that often so I'd probably have to buy something for that. I also hate shopping. Yeah I know that's weird lol.

    Um, if I want dessert, I'll get it. I think it's rude to eat off of someone else's plate. It's not cute. My food is on my plate and your food is on your plate. If you want more, get more. If I want more, I'll get more on my own. But I usually keep ice cream in my freezer so if I wanted dessert, after the date I can just eat what I already have lol

    Claim we have no expectations and get upset when we don't get what we want. Hm. To me it's more like I claim I have no expectations and get upset when the dude shows that he has no respect for me. Of course that isn't what I want but I've gone on more bad dates than mediocre ones. It's like, "seriously, yet another one??" Forget that the guy isn't my dream date. I'd be lucky if he could hold a decent conversation.

    Know how to multitask. This one is split down the middle. You can either get a guy that'll expect you to do everything in a short amount of time and wonder why you haven't gotten anything done, or one that doesn't believe that you successfully multitasked and thinks someone had to help you or you didn't finish everything.

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