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Lessons Learned from One Night Stands



The best way to find out how best to cope with things you may not have much experience with is to hear the stories of other people. They’ve already road tested these bits of advice, so you know they have to have some knowledge involved, right?

After doing a poll on the awkward, exciting, bizarre situation that is the one night stand, we found out lots of advice coincides. Here are the most rational, practical and popular ones!

1. Orgasmic? Not Quite
“Don’t expect the big O,” said CS, 25. People whom you’ve just started sleeping with rarely know exactly what you like, so they have no precise idea what will make you experience that big moment quite yet. Don’t get disappointed — just enjoy the experience and give instructions when necessary!

2. Wrap It Up
“Always use protection,” said PH, 29. This feels like a “duh” piece of advice, but I have heard entirely too many people make excuses. “I didn’t have a condom,” “I expected him/her to have one,” “it was in the moment.” Whether or not you like condoms is irrelevant; it’s for the safety and best of both your wellbeings.

3. It’s Not Really About Good Sex,
“There’s rarely such thing as a good one night stand because if it was good you’d do it again. So they’re not for good sex as much as just a nice reminder that you’re desirable,” said MH, 26. This is unfortunate, but mostly true. The sex may not be great (though it’s very possible that you two have a fantastic time together but just don’t feel like pursuing anything physical or emotional further), but it is fun to flirt and then — well, you get the idea.

Have you ever had a one night stand? Was it a good or bad experience? What did you learn?

See Also:  Engaged Black Male: 5 Signs Your Marriage Will Fail

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  1. #6.. RealTalk!!

    No Walk of Shame around these parts EVER!!!! I'm too grown for that. Quite honestly if you feel embarassed or ashamed about leaving with the same clothes on in the morning that you arrived in from the night before than perhaps you need to just chill on the situation all together.

    1. Agree. There’s nothing to be ashamed of, now a walk of disappointment (maybe it was too small, he’s stroke was off, c*m fast, just awkward), that’s a different story.

  2. There is something bout a one-night with someone new that's just….amazing.

    I've noticed that women tend to give their best sexual effort and energy when it is the first time. Ongoing liaisons and relationship sex is great also, I just think that there is an added element of "show and prove" when you deal with someone for the first time.

    Granted, there is always the possibility that she could turn out to be utterly wack in bed (ladies, I'm sure you know that as well). But 90% of mine have been positive.
    My recent post Pharaoh Class: How to Attract a Superwoman

  3. As a dude I cant relate to any of these.

    1) I bust a nut every time.
    2) Condoms are for pussies
    3) Did I dominate and bust a fat one? Then its good sex!
    4) If its a one time thing, who cares? Just refer to her as "hey" and she'll never be the wiser
    5) More FB friends never hurt nobody
    6) "Walk of shame" only applies to drunk college girls who "arent usually like this"

      1. Sure. Its simple logic– what does a condom do? Well it has 2 major benefits:

        #1 Helps prevent pregnancy
        #2 Helps protect against STIs

        Now i don't really care about pregnancies because I sleep with women who don't currently want kids. That includes women who've already had a bunch of kids and dont want more, barren women, women with their tubes tied, young college girls who'd rather take a morning after pill or get an abortion, etc. So a condom wouldnt really matter much there. This is more of an issue if you're sleeping with girls who would actually want to have the baby, or street/hood rats who want to trap you. Amateurs are worried about babies.

        And STIs would normally be an issue if you mess with skanks and hos. But if you are smart about who you hook up with, you reduce your risk substantially. Do your research on chicks before you stick it in– really sniff them out. Older women who arent hoing out usually have any STIs cleared up. Younger girls, if you catch them before they get turned out, are astoundingly clean. But here's the real bonus– if most people buy in to the whole "condom" propaganda, then most people are going around using condoms anyway, and so thats a lowered risk of her even having anything in the first place. So if you want a safe rawdog experience, do it with girls who normally use condoms.

        Now obviously you cant be 100% certain in either case. There is always a risk– she could secretly want a baby, or maybe she just caught some STI on spring break. Well, thats where my gold talisman of protection comes in. I wear it around my junk and it wards off STIs and temporarily alters speerm movement so they swim in reverse. When its aura of protection is activated, it will sometimes demand a blood sacrifice, which has happened on several occasions (I'm not even joking).

        But I'm STI and baby free.

        1. im weak at how much your 1st paragraph makes logical sense lol. Even so though, i couldnt risk it on a one night stand. Women pull too many swindles these days

        2. @ 12 Point Buck: Wow. I call BS!!! You, sire are a liar!

          With the logic you have, I HIGHLY doubt that you have ever been tested for an STI or know your HIV status. I am will to bet any amount of money that if a woman were to ask you to get tested you would probably just stop calling her and move on to the next one who doesn't ask those type of "complicated" questions.

          What is really scary is you actually believe that you can "tell" who has a disease.

          You, sir ARE the reason why STIs and HIV are rampant in the black community.

        3. Also, You keep saying you sleep with women who do ____ and or don't do ____ or believe ____. This post is about one night stands. How could you possibly know anything so deep about these women and their philosophies on life through a one night stand? A person who is trying to get with you is going to present themselves as every and anything you want them to be….until you get to know them and find out who they REALLY are.

          Anyway, I hope you are as candid with the women you sleep with as you are here through the anonymity of the web. Because I really hope that any woman who hears this twisted logic would put her panties back on and leave….but sadly, there are way too many women who wont.

          Ladies, do yourself a favor – not even the BEST one night stand on earth is worth you cutting your lives short for. If he doesn't want to use a condom and then regales you with all kinds of round-about logic on why he doesn't need one, RUN!

  4. I've never had a one night stand and I have ZERO desire to have a one night stand. I'm a germaphobe among other things that would make such an experience less than enjoyable.

    1. Agreed..

      My definition of a one night stand is when you sleep with a total stranger that you just met that same day/night and ya'll end up getting it in and never see each other again after that.

      I would be scared to just go off with some dude I just met.

  5. Yeah the problem is…..too many people don't buy into the whole "wrap it up" policy. So you can leave your health in the hands of a complete stranger if you want. But ultimately I will never participate in a one night stand but I am way too afraid of AIDS/HIV….more people have it than what society is ready to admit. And at the rate people lie in general you can take someone's word if you are so foolish to do so.


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