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Mistakes Single People Make When Looking for a Relationship

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Most single people are constantly on the searched to get boo’d up or at least find someone special, but they tend to make a few mistakes on the way. Here’s a few to watch out for:

1. Allowing your friends to set you up with people that you know you’re not at all interested in, but you don’t say no to because you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. At a certain point, it just becomes a game of “You’re single??? I know a person who is also not currently in a relationship — you would be perfect for each other!”

2. Going back to an ex just to get the cuddles. Don’t let slip back into the quicksand of the easy cuddle.

3. Trying to construct a functional relationship out of someone who is clearly just looking for a little casual sex. Pretending like the times you meet up at 11 PM to have sex are “dates” and that they’re just “really busy with other things” is a one-way ticket to emotional eating while crying in your bed.

4. Focusing in way too hard on the “meet cute” aspect of finding someone, wherein you just happen to bump into one another at some bookstore while browsing the same section and get all charmingly befuddled trying to say excuse me. This also leads to trying to turn every brief moment of eye contact with a hot person on public transportation into the opening sequence of the movie that is your love life. (Full disclosure: I once stayed on the train to follow a guy I thought I was having A Moment with for about five stops too long, only for him to get off and completely walk in the other direction. Those are five stops I will never get back.)

5. Sleeping with members of your friend group in the interim, because you’re horny, but you also want to be with someone that you can just chill out and order a pizza with afterwards. This sounds like the ideal situation, right up until someone wants out, and now the two of you have to hang out at group functions and pretend you weren’t recently inside of one another.

[Read the other 12 mistakes singles make here]

Comment(7)

  1. The last one is def a mentality aspect im sure nobody ever really thinks about. Insteand of using that time to get yourself better, you think "single" is like being in last place and you need to catch up.

  2. Looking is the BIGGEST mistake in my humble opinion. True love will FIND you when it's supposed to. Too many times we make the mistake of trying to make something work when it's obvious that it won't. Stop trying to fit a square peg into a round hole!

  3. My # 15 moment is still the one that haunts me. The epic loser I dated in my # 15 period was one who went out in style – a compulsive liar who it ended up being revealed that
    1.) He only worked long enough to qualify for unemployment. After he was "safe" in that regard, he would do things to get himself fired – while bemoaning the economy.
    2.) His being a momma's boy was so extreme that he and his mother both referred to him as "her husband" in conversations. If it ever was revealed that the line was crossed physically, it wouldn't surprise me.
    3.) He revealed at the end that his "cultural view" on women was that "at times you have to hit them so that they know their place and know you're a man." I was already out the door, and this just cemented the immediate exit.

    Those wasted 4 months of my life I'll never get back. But I'll always have the court order to remember him by – the one I had to obtain requiring him to not contact me or contact my friends, my family, or my neighbors seeking my whereabouts. To this day I'm humiliated and shudder that I actually dated this loser.

  4. Even though I wish articles like this would have existed in my past crappy relationships, I learned once you stop lying to yourself and admit that you're not happy, confront the things you aren't happy with, and make a deliberate effort to change them, all of this comes to you like the flood gates were opened. Once you're an adult, you have to be honest with yourself and stop acting/pretending/wanting it to be okay when it isn't.

  5. Worst mistake, as a black man, is to date a chick who acted like she was to good for you years ago. I'm talking about the type female that wouldn't even speak to you if you spoke first to her. You might think that she's now more mature but usually that's not the case. It's more like she's been used up by most of the men in town and you're the last one left.

  6. They was once a time when I really needed someone to hold tight. I had broken up with my ex and we lived in the same neighborhood by then. I thought to myself if going to her was a wise idea and almost did but as a man I had to control myself to keep my pride. I think so many people think the same way about going back to their ex for cuddles as you explained which is a mistake to make.
    My recent post How To Get Over Your Ex

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