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7 Things Men Need To Stop Doing To Women



Every now and then I remember that we haven’t done a post outlining advice for men in a while. It’s not that we don’t have opinions about men and the things they can do better; it’s that we get bombarded with questions from women all the time. We address those issues first because that’s what we hear the most and let’s be quite frank, most men feel like they don’t need anyone else’s help. That is not to say that every man is perfect, none of them are. So in a bloggy blog world where most of the material is targeted towards women and what they should do or what they shouldn’t do, it’s time for a post about men… and their malfeasance.

A post that’s been kicking around in my head for some time now is around the things that I think men need to stop doing. It’s not like we haven’t discussed all these things before but they need to be rehashed because over the past year it’s gotten out of control. I read an article the other day that talked about how men stopped being men and that ruined relationships in the 21st century. I actually agreed with it! Men have tried so hard to emulate the actions of someone who is super-sensitive and soft mannered to the point that the women don’t even recognize a doormat from a man anymore. And while my daddy told me that no man should raise another man, I figured I’d answer the question, “What do men need to stop doing to women?”

1. Quit making them insecure – Men have the worst way of making women feel inadequate in every possible way. They also are very much aware that they’re doing it too. They know that they can’t tell her that she looks fat or awkward in the dress she plans to wear. That’s why they result to something less threatening but a hell of a lot more passive aggressive like, “Is that what you’re wearing?”

2. Stop agreeing with them to appease them – Men think they’re raising their self-esteem or working their way into their good graces but in reality they’re screwing up gender dynamics. Keep it real, there’s a ton of stuff that women believe in that men just disagree wholeheartedly with. That’s fine, that’s why we were not given the same sex parts.

3. Stop calling them crazy – Wait… there are women who are crazy, just to be clear. The problem is that men have a tendency to call women who aren’t crazy at all. Men get lazy and don’t want to articulate their thoughts or use their words.

4. Quit being unhappy to make her happy – I’ve been guilty of this one a lot in my life. Here’s the real issue with this; you’ll let her build a false sense of security until one day you pull the carpet from under her and leave. You have women turning habits into character traits and when you bounce they spend years trying to fix their flaws.

5. Stop acting like a baby – Men are supposed to be men. It’s a shame that has to be said. Stop pouting when you don’t get your way, stop intentionally being disruptive when you aren’t able to do what you want to do, and stop doing less than what a man should do just because someone else has acted out. The point is you’re a man now it’s time to be one.

6. Stop dry snitching – All jokes aside, stop snitching on other men to benefit your own cause. How good you are to your woman has nothing to do with all the bad things your boy does to his. There’s a reason that people call it “fair and square.”

7. Stop comparing them to other women – They have made it clear, they don’t like it. Nobody compares someone to someone they’re better than either. Like have you ever heard, “Damn baby Halle Berry looks like you in this picture”? Not never. So when you compare a woman to another all you’re saying is, “you’re a close second.”

That’s just a quick list of seven. There’s a long list that is not mentioned here but I think this is a good start. I think we spend a lot of time telling women about themselves but not a lot talking about men. For good reason too, everyone wants everyone else to think the problem is everyone else. Introspective thinking is something of the pass with our generation. I think for today we should all take these things into account and make sure these aren’t things that we do as men and need to change. For women, if you notice this behavior in men you interact with; don’t be afraid to call them on it.

– Dr. J



  1. I definitely can relate to #3!! I just honestly don’t feel like investing my brainpower into women at certain times. Especially when it’s about some extremely irrelevant issue.

    I’ve been guilty of #4 as well.

  2. I love the lost and i agree with it. I have one and while this Mya strike something in the Gender Norms, I feel it has to be said- Don't Drop Self-Sustainence once In a Relationship.

    i say this as Someone who was Taught to Clean, Cook, organize, and a host of House Duites/Chores for when I am On My Own- like a Bachelor, the kind of things that Back In the Day was a Woman's Role as Homemaker and Housewife. I can't tell you how Annoying as Hell it was as a College Student to be the ONLY One to handle a Dorm or House I was sharing. With Chicks coming by to do the Cleaning, Cooking, etc forthe Homies I "liked" it (took much of the load off my hands) but it made me FSKW that a Grown A$$ Man can't Live…..

    IF/WHEN I have a Woman come by My Place or Involved with me I expect Both of us to do House Duties/Chores (as well as IF/WHEN I'm at Hers). I Don't Expect a Woman to take garbage out at My Spot, and for the sake of a Man-Chore I'd take the Trash out at Her Spot. Hope I'm making SOME Sense…..

  3. I Agree with all seven of the points listed above, but for #3 you might want to rethink that one. In my limited personal experience I have encountered a great number of dysfunctional acting females. I mean common sense just didn't register with them. Once I detective they don't have good sense or demonstrated backward crazy behavior I leave them alone. I know the black community has suffered a lot psychologically and has been constantly stressed out, and to be fair the same can be said about many black males.

    1. It is absolutely unfair to label all women crazy because of the dysfunctional types that you have dealt with. I have a male friend who says the same thing and that statement offends me. All women are not crazy, just like all men are not dogs.

  4. U forgot 2 of the most important ones Doc J.
    1. Stop Lying
    2. Stop Cheating
    These would solve more than half of womens problems with men. 🙂

  5. 1) Noone can make her feel insecure without her consent. If she's insecure then she's part of the problem.
    2) If insincere agreement prevents unnecessary drama, then it's the right decision.
    3) Crazy is a colloquial slang term. If she takes offense, she's "lame" and needs more cultural immersion, not an emotional crutch.
    4) yup
    5) Its fine to pout, as long as you dont pout like a little punk. Pout like the Hulk. People should be concerned when things arent going your way.
    6) true
    7) See #1

  6. One thing I have learned over the years from other brothers and myself even, is to stop arguing with them and learn to be rational and logical not emotional. You'll never win an argument with a woman, EVEN if she's clearly wrong she'll fight 'till the cows come home to prove she's right someway somehow.

    Also don't try to be superhero…now before this comment goes out of control let me be clear, your woman should always be safe and secure around you…ALWAYS, but don't try to take on a group of dudes because they cat-called your woman, be smart about it and pick your battles.

  7. Making a woman feel insecure is something men really have to avoid doing. It doesn't only make the woman feel bad, but it also kills the feelings she might have for you. Also, I like the point where you talked about calling the woman crazy. Some men just think they can treat women the way they please but it's not suppose to be that way. Women deserve to be treated with respect and calling her crazy is not part of treating her with respect. Thanks for the great article, it really helped me
    My recent post How To Get Over Your Ex


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