Off the strength of the title please allow me to clear something up: I do not think a 40 year old man living at home is the the business. That’s not a good look.
I thought this was a pretty interesting topic, so I decided to look up some statistics on census.gov
Between 2005 and 2011, the proportion of young adults living in their parents’ home increased, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. The percentage of men age 25 to 34 living in the home of their parents rose from 14 percent in 2005 to 19 percent in 2011 and from 8 percent to 10 percent over the period for women.
Similarly, 59 percent of men age 18 to 24 and 50 percent of women that age resided in their parents’ home in 2011, up from 53 percent and 46 percent, respectively, in 2005. It should be noted that college students living in a dormitory are counted in their parents’ home, so they are included in these percentages.
Now it seems that across the board more young adults have delayed moving out of the house.
Much of everything these days has been delayed (i.e. marriage, having children). This could be contingent on a lot of things. I think a huge part of people living on their own depends on cost of living. Along with the cost of living, I also think having a job that provides a substantial salary is imperative.
Now I come to you speaking as a New Yorker living in the second most expensive borough, Brooklyn. It’s always been a goal of mine to be self-sufficient by 25 or at least during 25. I’m currently 24 and I think my goal is attainable. Something I’ve realized in my two years since graduating is that it’s not easy living on your own in Brooklyn. The prices landlords ask for studio apartments are out of line as far as I’m concerned. Maybe we could blame the Barclay’s. Maybe we should blame the resurgence of neighborhoods like Red Hook, Fort Greene and Williamsburg. Truth be told, it’s all irrelevant. These circumstances stop many people from having their own place.
So for the women and men reading: How important is it for your partner to have his or her own place?
Speaking as guy, I don’t know if a woman living with her parents is a deal breaker. Women get away with murder on this issue. I don’t think many guys really care if a woman still lives at home. Conversely, I think much more is expected of us men. I don’t think that’s totally wrong . Given the confounding variables I’ve mentioned, could any exceptions be made in your estimation? Is it right for a woman to demand a man have his own place but she not have hers? How about vice versa? I’m curious to know where you stand. Don’t be shy.
These are my words and I make no apologies.
DamnPops is a writer on the staff at SBM: “I’m not a biter, I’m a writer for myself and others. ” Brooklyn born dude trying to figure out this life just like you. Come on this journey with me. Follow me on Twitter @DamnPOPS
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i dont particularly mind if a woman lives at home, moreso because i have my own place, if we need provacy whoop there it is. however theres stipulations…
1. take ya a.. home regularly…i have my own place, you dont
2. im not spending the night at ya mamas crib
3. theres gotta be some plan to move other than get chose n move in, see rule 1
4. dont vent to me about their rules, ima take their side, its their house
I agree. I have my own place, however I have dated guys who didn’t have there own place. The problem I have is they don’t know how to go home when the sun comes out. They try to run my house. (Not gone happen) I would respect him more if he has his own. I have my own at the tender age of 34. I date older men so he should be on his feet period
Lol at #1
Loves number 4 lol. People don't realize.. you have to abide by someone else's rules. If you don't like it., take your grown butt to the nearest leasing and get an apt.
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privacy…stupid phone
Like Tristan said, the issue is more about privacy, in my opinion. As long as one party in the relationship has a place than I think it’s okay until people start approaching 30… Then it’s time for both males and females to move away from Mommy & Daddy just so they can really grow and development independantly. You learn SO much when you live solo.
agreed, counting college i been on my own since 18, its crazy how many people my age dont know how to budget, cook, hell even write a check.
Deal breaker? No, as long as they have a plan to move out (preferably before 30) and are putting things in place to do that. I'm a woman, 25, single, and still live at home with my parents. I live in the DC area and would prefer to not have a roommate (very expensive). I'd also prefer to buy over renting. Since I've entered the working world, I have been saving money towards moving out, working on my credit, and ensuring that I have things into place, because once I leave the "nest," I do not want to come back.
I have no problems with people prolonging the moving out process if they are working towards some type of moving out plan that includes saving, rebuilding credit, etc. I'd much rather be with a man who lives at home and is doing what needs to be done to move out than one who lives on his own, but is completely struggling because he rushed the process. Now, people who live with their parents, but are just blowing through money and have no plan in place? That would be more of a deal breaker for me.
“I'd much rather be with a man who lives at home and is doing what needs to be done to move out than one who lives on his own, but is completely struggling because he rushed the process.”
Not sure about the 30 and over crowd, but for the people between 21-25 who live on their own (especially if their in school debt) are usually struggling. I know a lot of people in that age range who live on their own (I live in NYC) who are skipping out on Sallie Mae and deferring their loans every chance they get (which messes up their credit), 4 people living in a 3 bedroom apartment, still calling their parents to “help them out” when they come up short. Heck some people paying off their bills with credit cards.
Depends on why he’s in his parent’s house
1)Did he just graduate and transitioning to a job in his field
2)Did he get laid off and currently getting back on his feet
3)Is he saving up for something? I know people who work and attend grad school. In stead of taking out more student loans, they live at home, give their parents some money and pay for school. Maybe he’s saving up for a down payment on a condo or home.
I also think it’s an age thing. I’m 23 so it’s not a deal breaker to hear “I’m living at home with my parents”, as long as you have other things going on for yourself that will eventually help you move out. It also depends on how old the man is, I know in some cultures people live with their parents until they get married.
It depends why they are home. Helping their parents or recovering from a life issue, then i could deal with that and depending on what work you are putting into it, work accordingly. However, to just live home just to be home because you can and have no real goals is a huge turn off. I met a guy who told me he lived with his mother for 12 years. He was 28 years old and said that she's his best friend and he didn't see the point in moving. So many flags.
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he was an only child huh
nah!!! thats the crazy part!!!!
My recent post We got some figuring out to do: What to do when you get burnt out on dating?
Co-sign what many of the posters have already expressed. The cost of living in major cities is simply ridiculous. I'm 24 still live with my dad but I work full time, school part time. I also pay bills but living with him helps me save a lot of money for the future.
Some friends of mine started cupcaking a couple years ago and figured because they were "so in luuuuuuuv" they should move in together. A year later, horrible breakup due to arguments about money & how they couldn't afford anything. Now they hate each other & live back at home with their parents with all kinds of debt. My boy was asking to borrow money almost every week because his account was getting close to being overdrafted, not the business.
Luckily even though there is a definitive double standard of men living at home vs women living at home, I haven't experienced any flack from them about it. I guess they're starting to realize that its not realistic in this terrible economy with very little opportunity for people in our age group for a man to be completely set up in his 20's.
its a sign of the times…any woman under 28 i meet i assume is at home unless otherwise stated
I’m shocked at the level of understanding that the above women posters have shown on this issue and frankly….I’m disappointed. Imma need y’all to raise your standards a bit.
As for me, the (25 and up) chick needs to have her own place (or room mate situation) and here’s why..
1. I ain’t trying to speak to your parents every time I pick you up…this ain't the prom
2. I aint ever chillin at your parent’s house longer that 10 minutes so don’t expect it. (holidays excluded)
3. "shoulda been number 1 to me"…….You’re grown!
4. Prioritize better. If your reason for living at mom’s house is so noble, then how do you have time to date me…get yo life…..
5. My, “go home” hints will probably be taken with more offense.
6. -IN-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T is only a song that black people sing…for everyone else, it's mandatory.
100 points for gryffindor for the biggie reference
"I’m shocked at the level of understanding that the above women posters have shown on this issue and frankly….I’m disappointed. Imma need y’all to raise your standards a bit. "
I guess it go to your experiences. I understand that sometimes you can end up at home with your parents. Hell, I did it, made some mistakes, but it didn't mean that I was a poor partner, I just made some mistakes and needed to move home and regroup. It comes down to what is that person's situation.
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"shocked"..but in a good way, "disappointed..'cause I expect more vitriol
It’s the irony/ hypocrisy that I'm pointing out. I've read SBM posts that CASUALLY say a man living with his parents as a deal breaker and comments galore from women who cosign it. But when a post SPECIFICALLY points to this subject, there seems to be more understanding. I'm all about “understanding”, but the ladies don’t seem to be consistent.
My comments were in the realm of dating. To not consider the trials of life would be unreasonable. However, in a new dating situation, this would be a turnoff.
Ah! Understood!
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I am a 31 year old woman. I have my own place. I moved out at 25. I live in Brooklyn. Yes that is a deal breaker, not having sex in ur twin bed.
bed game needs its own post….so tired of coming upstairs to a chicks airmatress, twin sized, broken on one end, 5 different bedding sets, teddy bear covered beds
Bed struggle is too real. If you living at home, there's no reason why you shouldn't (at the bare MINIMUM) have a nice bed and quality pillows.
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damn….well said.
Like I told Pops on twitter…YES. Yes, it's a dealbreaker.
I'm 32. So, I'm not trying to hear any of this unless his parent lives with him or is his roommate (both are possible). Now, if he's saving to buy a house or something…on a financial plan…in between a move…recovering financially from a divorce, I can dig that. That's understandable.
Now, if I was 18-25ish, living at home is reasonable. You're still trying to get your independent/adult sea legs. So yeah, I'd date a man in that age range under those circumstances. But, post 30 and unable to support yourself fully (excluding laid off folks, off course) is not cute. I'll pass.
This is interesting. idk about anywhere else, but here in the DMV pretty much Everybody is picky as hell when it comes to dating and relationships, Men & Women alike. I've heard male cowrkers and male friends say they refuse to seriously date a woman that doesn't have her own, ie car, home, apartment, job etc etc etc. Generally speaking across the board since Neo came out with the whole "Miss Independent" themed songs and Destiny's Child being Independent Women, I think more and more men are upping the ante of expectations from women. So I disagree that to a lot of men it doesn't matter. It does matter very much to many men. Even men that say they don't care, their actions totally contradict that. I've rarely see men seriously date women without their own place or car. Yes they will, do the FWB thing and just sex her. Only need to be physically appealing to that man for him to sleep with you. However, make her a serious girlfriend or main boo thang, doesn't happen too often.
My bff back home in Philly didn't have her own place for a long time. Guys dated her and she had boyfriends. But 3 years after moving out of her mama's house, she gets engaged to be married.
IDK Bree, a lot of “Independent women” own house /apt, car etc… getting side chick, FWB status, no ring. I will say sometimes the person mentality changes (won’t put up with as much b.s.) when all of their ducks are in a row. (for some ppl)
"I will say sometimes the person mentality changes (won’t put up with as much b.s.) when all of their ducks are in a row. (for some ppl)"
That's it…
This is true Smielz. Those women probably get side chick and fwb status, if they are a pain in the azz, not very physically attractive, overweight, or demand way too much of the "average joe, and some other stuff. Here in the DMV in the 6 years I've lived here, and even in Philly where I'm from, and probably most everywhere as a society of people we have evolved a great deal and made major strides. So now more people that have degree's, and/or work their azzes off, or get a hookup from knowing the right people, or whatever can get a decent job making decent money. I know people with no degrees or only an Associates degree who are successful business owners, or network engineers, or in IT and doing very well. So nowadays we're not as accepting of excuses when it comes to independence. Just as many men as women, expect the woman they seriously date to be independent; ie own place, car, decent job, payin her own bills etc etc etc. And imo that isn't asking to much. For many of us these are basic things that practically everyone is more than capable of attaining.
I know folks who grew up in foster care, were homeless at one point, and/or in jail who successfully turned their lives around and got it together. Plus the age is highly important. That is Not the business if your in your late 20's, close to 30, or in your 30's pushing 40 if you don't have your own place. If you have a job it's just a matter of effectively managing whatever you make. You don't have to live in a 2 or 3 bedroom townhouse or mini mansion and you don't have to drive a Lexus or Mercedes. I have a nice little affordable condo and drive a 08 Kia Sportage. But they're mine and I can afford them. .
The other thing women need to be mindful of is, if a man can't attain basic things in life to be independent, how is he going to help you if you ever fall on hard times or get hurt and can't work or have pregnancy or childbirth complications.
I had a guy friend recently tell me he broke up with a girl he dated because she had no ambition to get a better job and her own place. He cared about this woman and loved her. But she was in her mid 30's living with her sisters and cool with working temp jobs. He said, "if something happens to me, how is she gonna help me out if she can't help her damn self?" And let's be real, sh** happens sometimes. Two broke people with nothing can't do nothing for each other but keep each other company, and after a while get on each others last nerves.
And, you can find affordable housing in the DMV. You may not be in the best neighborhood but there are affordable places to live…and not get your head blown off, lol. You may live waaaaaaay out of the way or in the cut somewhere, but it will be YOURS! …or yours while you rent it…y'all know what I mean, lol…
High Five all of that!
Exactly Cyn. A friend of mine has a friend on welfare with a house and car doing pretty well for herself, thanks to taxpayer money…smdh
The age of the person is a big factor as well. I would wonder why a person well into their 30's is still living with family or friends if they're not disabled, or there to care for a very ill or disabled parent or relative. My cousin stayed home to take care of her mother until she died. My cousin was in her 40's, but everyone understood her reasons so she had no problems with relationships. However, if that is not the case, and your only reason is that you don't make enough money, then there are plenty of "legal" options to do what you need to do to make the money you need to make to be independent. Not saying you have to be a baller. My s/o and I aren't big ballers in the least, however we're both completely independent in every sense of the word.
Loving the comments y'all
This conversation is always going to comes down to age. 18-25 most people will assume that you are living with your folks, while actively “getting your ducks in a row” so you can move out. Once you start pushing past 26 the question becomes
1)Why haven’t you got your stuff together thus far?
2)If you’ve fallen on hard times how do you plan to get back up?
3)How long will it take
Exactly!
1) theres this whole IMF thing that keeps destabilizing global marketplaces thus making potential investors in your respective communities wary of providing opportunities for employment.
2) when your local news organization begins to acknowledge the fact that collaborative software, contract to hire firms, and the digitization of the post nuclear 40-hour work week are dictating how much you should be paid, then ill give a fuck about some bitch and her timetable.
3) how long will it take you get through " The World is Flat" by Thomas L. Friedman ( granted your attention span goes beyond 140 characters lol)
Im good on playing house to impress some trick. "look out yall, im independent paying my way through debt slavery, gimmie a cookie!". Im glad I waited till I was ready to get out into the place I WANTED, instead of living out some dumb sitcom with some chick who doesnt do shit but waste money any complain.
Some of you need to chill on expecting people to "get it together". The world doesnt stop and start for you, deal with it before you get ugly and bitter.
Good luck :^)
…on second read…that was funny as hell
SMilez even young folks over 22 once they are out of college need to work real hard on having their own thing. Independence is Everything. It is a big part of what defines you.
I shoulda, and coulda had my own place at 23 at the very least. I admit, I was spoiled by my fam.
I wish they woud've put me out and made me get my own place. I got way too comfortable living at home. I ended up spending money to friviliously just because i could afford to. Now that I look back over my life I regret how foolishly I spent money back then. Maybe I could've been a millionaire. Could've had my own businesses by now. I made some bad mistakes in my whimsical youth. I warn the young people I know about that now. Encouraging them to invest, save, and not spend $$ on stupid things. I tell them to start now, at 23, putting money in a 401K and/or Roth IRA or something. So they won't be like these people who have to still work when they are over 70 because they can't afford not to.
Hell no! I got my own, you should too. I got a girlfriend who just lets them stay with her cuz that way she can keep an eye on him. I'm not the one. You not gonna leech off of my mortgage payments!
There is a quote that says "A woman has a problem with a man living with his mom, but will sleep with a man living with his wife". So I take what women say with a grain of salt. Times are tough, if the person has ambition and is trying but are with their parents right now I don't care.
That quote is hilarious!!!
That quote is The Truth!
@Mpj2k4
“A woman has a problem with a man living with his mom, but will sleep with a man living with his wife”.
Wow
You are one extremely jaded mother%%&&##.
I'm jaded?
If you can't say Amen say Ouch!!!
What I gather from the comments that there are a lot of pretty valid reasons on paper, but from what I've seen, reality would suggest otherwise. I've had women shit on what neighbourhood I lived in or the size of my condo. I've constantly heard dudes getting dissed because they rented and didn't own their own place. But those are assumptions made about finances.
I find that people make a lot of snap judgements about your lifestyle when you say you live with your parents. Anybody could have a good valid reason. As long as the person in question isn't a lazy bum with no ambition.
It all boils down to finances and lifestyle.
The most common scenarios:
-Somebody is taking care of a sick parent.
-Poor financial situation (loss of job, divorce, etc).
-Financial strategy (saving for a house, paying off debts, helping parents out)
What if though?
-You just finished recovering from an accident.
-You're from one of those cultures where you get married first.
-You actually own your parent's house.
I once had an ex, who was living with her uncles, diss me for renting vs. buying a house….go figure……
The problem with grown men living at home is that their savings should reflect their living situation, and it usually doesn't. What is the end goal? What's the deadline for moving out? And why didn't they do this fresh-out-of-college versus waiting until 30 to move back in?
So many questions….
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i have a friend now who moved back home to “save”, all her money goes to taking care of the household….its a trap!
"You can't just live here for free". I hear that one coming form other peoples' parents all the time. You contribute but now you can't save. It defeats the purpose.
You can chip in and still save. You may have to cut back on other things. Like shopping, vacations, going out. You can't blame your folks for not wanting some money from you; extra person equals extra food and utilities.
I guess I'm a little biased since my dad was gouging me after I lost my first big job. He charged me more than his mortgage payments and tossed my stuff in the snow when I ran out of money.
Damn Double K that is messed up. If u are living at home u should defnitely be paying a hell of a lot less than you would if you had your own place. The whole point is to have money to save.
The reality is some people do get real comfortable after being home for a long time and months turn into a year, a year turns into years and so on. It takes self discipline, proper planning, and seriously being able to budget and manage your finances well. Some sacrifices will have to be made as well. The end goal though, is that you take the time to get your sh** in order and move out and get your own, not get comfortable and linger on an on cause it's easy and convenient.
Definitely a deal breaker. I'm 33. Have had my own place since 25. No reason a man in my age group should be living with the parents UNLESS he's just return from the armed services or just relocated to the area AND is looking for a place of his own. There has to be a balance and a leveled playing field. We can chill at your place if you don't have one. That's not equal. I will help you find a place, go apt/house hunting with you but you in the parents house in a NEGATIVE! #sorryboo
And hows that loft treating ya…….
Lol! I don't have a loft but my house is treating me well.
for me, it's not a deal breaker. i'm supposed to be a provider.
for most of the opposite gender, i'd imagine it would be a dealbreaker. while males don't have to come complete, from the intelligence gathered online, they would have to be 70% of the way there.
it is what it is.
Once I hit my mid-20s, I definitely felt the pressure to get my own spot….Not having privacy wasn't the business…..Once I hit 28, I wasn't going to let 29 or 30 catch me living in the same bedroom I was in since I was 12…Moving out was one of the best decisions ever…..
Eh…I'm of 2 minds on this issue. On one hand I feel like a man living home has different implications than a woman living home. I'm 28 and I moved back in with my mom 2 years ago. Luckily, my mother is cool as hell, I'm her only kid and we're very close. Also lucky for me that my mom has a life so it doesn't really feel like I'm living with her at all – she's never home. Aside from burning her house down there isn't much that I can't do there. On the other hand I do feel like a man living at home would have different rules to abide by and should those rules impede on his ability to date then maybe he doesn't need to date – he needs to figure out how to get his own space. I live in Brooklyn as well (BK all day, baby!) and I won't lie and say I'm eager to move out again. NYC is ridiculously expensive and even with my good job I'd be struggling to pay rent on a studio (at least 1K+) or a 1 bedroom (1200+). At this point I'd rather pay off my student loans, help my mom with half on everything, pay for a storage unit and start stacking for a house somewhere else because one in NYC will cost me a small fortune.
If he d
xDecadent u may want to consider Queens or Bedstuy or Far Rockaway. A higher paying job or move out of NY to someplace cheaper.
It is what it is.
Men should be working to get their own.
I grind so I can talk this blog sh-t with impunity. Like Mayweather.
You are never to take what women SAY too seriously as a rule/guideline.
Your life will be better for it.
Some people hide behind the "I'm saving money" excuse when in actually they're still paying into some household bills. I mean if you're putting in on the mortgage, cable/light/electric bill, you may as well get your own place.
It's not a dealbreaker for me though because I've always had my own place. But I also take the approach like Tristan, it's not cool to use my place as an escape because you can't comfortably do what you wanna do in your parents' house. Come over when I invite you, leave when I ask you to, and don't give me the guilt trip when I want my space.
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Big fat Cosign on all of that jdoubleu. Especially this – "if you're putting in on the mortgage, cable/light/electric bill, you may as well get your own place."
I typically date older men, 38-43, so it's a deal breaker for me. I don't know if anyone mentioned it, but what about a roommate situation? They could have a roommate, not living with their parents necessarily. I could probably deal with a roommate situation, but he would have to be making plans to get his own place in the near future.
The roommate situation is overlooked. I mean what if they're living in a single family house (as opposed to an apt)? What if they have opposite schedules so you never really realize he even has a roommate? Let me pose this question – if a man is choosing to have a roommate situation until he gets married, does that make the context easier to deal with?
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I guess it would just be a privacy thing. What if one lived with her parents or had roommates and so did the other? I think it would get old after a while. I know a woman who was with her now husband when he had a roommate and briefly after they were married, the roommate still lived there. It's just an odd situation I guess. But, at 35+, I just don't see why a man would want to or need to have a roommate situation.
jdoubleu I cannot do roommates. I would move back with my fam before i did that. I vowed that college was the last time I was doing that. It wasn't a bad experience in college, but I know myself and how i live. I can't do no Real World type of arrangements. Roommates are cool i guess. But when ur in a relationship u need your own space and your privacy. Thats where the issues come in. And when ur in the beginning stages of dating, as other people have said upthread they don't want you using them as a escape and what not. Plus the person may get tired of you coming to their place all the time. It's whatever though. Long as the roommate living situation doesn't last forever.
it all depends..if he has lived on his own before (not talking about college) and he had to move back home temporarily to get back on his feet, or if he's caring for a sick parent for the time being you never know what the status is. Especially if he's working and has his own wheels. Now if he's an idle brother whose never been out of the house, and has no plans to, that's different especially if he's over 30.
However if he lives in the basement where he has his own everything including exit and entrance it's not too bad again if he's south of 30. If he doesn't have those amenities just don't expect to spend nights over his house, yall just have to crash at yours or get a hotel room (although that can be too cumbersome). I do find that when you live at home and never move out you can become too sheltered and dependent on what your folks think about things.
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I agree with the idea that it is all age based. I moved back into my parent's house after my previous job. When I found a job, I still stayed. I stayed there for about a year until I started missing my own space and privacy. I don't date guys in their mid 20s, but if they are taking care of their parents, that is an acceptable reason. If they have plans to move out in a year or so, also acceptable.
Sallie Mae is the reason its so hard for me to move out…I owe that heffa my first born…smh
You just never know what a person is going through. I don’t think its, a deal breaker as long she plans on moving out in the near future. Im still waiting on that post, on how good bm get overlooked. And how bw still date bad boys and complain there are no good bm left and when he dates outside of his race its a problem
If you over 31 years old and male you should have your own place. Or don’t date. Nobody wants a leach. Everybody wants to date up. So why does he get the privilege of laying up in a woman house and he’s not responsible
I'm all for standards, but I believe in every situation is different and deserves its own perspective. No one wants to have a real convo about what's really going on in our society from socioeconomic standpoint. People get all self-righteous and hypocritical about their expectations of the opposite sex and wonder why so many of us remain single into our middle ages. I say just look at the individual situation before arbitrarily dismissing someone, because the same could be done to you. Also, it's not cool ladies that you indulge and enjoy all the benefits of the modern social order but expect men to adhere to gender roles from generations past without any flexibility whatsoever, not cool at all.
I’m 30 and I live with my parents. I lived out of state for eleven years and just moved back a few months ago. I’ll have my new place in a few.
As a woman that has been on her own since the age of 18, I do not see myself being with a man that is not in the same mindset or financial situation that I am. I want to be with a man that I can grow with and embark on greater new heights that life has to offer. Grown 35+ men living at how is disappointing and plain NOT SEXY. If I can do it, why can’t you?!
I'M DEFINITELY NOT CHILLIN AT YA MAMA HOUSE.
AND WE CANT CHILL AT MY MAMA HOUSE EITHER, SOOOOOOO……
wont work.
I don’t believe in asking more than I can and since I live at home with my P.U. No it’s not. Cuz I get how difficult it is to get well paying job and expensive it can be. That said there should be plans to move out
I have had friends my age living on their own encourage me to stay at home and save unless it’s getting serious with someone cuz they are struggling
It's not a deal breaker if I just want something fun. However, when I am looking for longevity.. it is a no go.
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This is so funny to me. I feel like we have really bought into that 'independence' thing and run with it. My Korean aesthetician used to tell me all the time, "just live at home until you get married." I'd be like, June, I'm a Black woman, that could be the rest of my life. Needless to say I bought a house when I was 28. But I lived at home for 5 years and stacked my dough and my parents supported me through it. I date a dude now who while he doesn't live at home, lives in a basement apartment and has roommates. But I know he makes wayyy more money than I do and when he buys a house, he wants it to be the right house. My granddaddy used to say, "you have your whole life to work." Well you have your whole life to pay bills and be "independent." Once you out there, you out there. I'd rather people be out there and right, then out there and floundering…
My recent post Thursday’s Thesis: On Faltering Faith