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Telling The Truth: The Best Way For Men To Court Women

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liar_by_movieaddict

When I was a teen, it was almost automatic that I would lie about stuff to women. Men lie about the stupidest things, but when it came to courting women we would lie just to get ahead. This mentality permeates into adulthood as well, mostly because it is somewhat effective (in the short term). We would lie about our intentions with the woman, what we want to get out of a supposed union, and where we see our dealings leading in the future. More often than not, these lies would surface and would blow up in our faces. It isn’t until we mature that we realize that honesty is truly the best policy.

I used to think women were lying themselves when they said that they’d rather a dude tell them their true endgame than fabricate a story that they feel women will absorb better. Once again, women were correct. When a man tells a woman what he is looking for and is 100% honest, a woman has to respect him for being forthcoming. I understand that men are reluctant to say “I’m just looking for sex” if that’s their goal, because it does sound crazy when said aloud. If men are looking for just sex, they don’t want to mess up their chances by tipping their hand too early and having women fold. However, attaining that goal under false pretenses will eventually make that woman have buyer’s remorse. If I purchase a brand new car and the dealer guarantees that it will last for 5 years / 100,000 miles, and it breaks down as soon as I take it off the lot, I would be pretty pissed and want my money back. This is how a woman feels when men offer them the moon and the stars and they don’t even receive a spec of sunlight. Yeah, if you tell her that you just want to fool around with no strings attached and she refuses, it might suck, but it’s better than leading a woman on to the point of an eventual backlash.

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By lying to get the draws, men also take the power out of a woman’s decision making process. They skew the facts in order for women to make a choice based upon what they want. This is wrong because you never know what a woman’s intentions are either. What if you intend to date that woman and make her yours, but SHE isn’t ready for all that clingy sh*t?! Maybe she doesn’t want anything serious either. Men are so hard-wired to think every woman with interest in them wants a ring and kids that they want to avoid that pitfall at all cost, especially if all they want is a causal relationship. Let a woman make that decision based off of your honest assessment of what you currently desire. It’s better to be in agreement and move forward than to have two different levels of expectations and become at odds with one another down the line. When we are younger, drama with women was cool and seen as collateral damage in our mission to occupy the land between their thighs. When we mature (and gain actual financial assets / other sh*t to lose), we realize that drama is neither cute or necessary. I’d rather be honest in my intentions than deal with the repercussions of lying down the line.

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Men who tell women the truth also can say with a clear conscience that they did not lead a woman astray. Women respect a man’s honesty because once the ball is in their court to decide whether to deal with a man with his given intentions, they have to assume responsibility for accepting those terms. A man’s word is his bond. Respect is paramount to our core being. You can dislike someone, but still respect them for being themselves.

Some women will still scapegoat a man when dating/sex/relationships go awry even when a man is honest about their true identity. I still wouldn’t look at telling the truth as a lose/lose, it’s a sign of maturity and growth. No one wants to waste their time dealing with anyone not about their business whether professionally or personally. Whether you want to wife her or one night her, let her know your true feelings. It will save a lot of heartache, pain, and possible restraining orders needing to be filed.

Streetz

What’s Your Take? Is honesty the best policy? Are there times where lies reign supreme? Let’s hear your thoughts!

Comment(92)

    1. What if I'm not sure what the truth is? What if I like you and would like to get to know you exclusively for some time so that I can formulate what it is that I want ( to do with you)? Is that ok or am i a monster for that?

      1. I don't think it's necessarily about not knowing what you want. You know the difference between "i want to see where this goes" and you truly want to versus a chick saying such and such and has turned you off, but the nani is so good, that you are leading her to think that there could be more than what you truly want.

        If you aren't sure tell her. However, it's hard to date someone who isn't sure of what you want, when she is very sure of what she wants.

      2. Not particularly. Just understand there is no exclusivity UNTIL you figure out what you want to do with me. Da fuq I look like, a parking garage? Until you figure it out understand you may lose me to someone that does. Dems da rules.

        1. LOL So if I say I'd like to be with you exclusively, what exactly do you hear? What does "exclusivity" mean to ya'll?

  1. Truuuuuue.

    Why lie? There's no guilt in honesty AND the ball is always in her court. If she's with you she has accepted only truths whether they be to her benefit or not. The ball is always in her court.

  2. Honesty is always the best policy. I am always up front about what I am looking for when I am dating/courting someone. If I state that I am looking for friends with the possibility of more (dating/relationship) in the future then that clearly means I am not interested in a one night stand. How would you feel if you met a woman, slept with her and later found out that you were HIV positive because she chose not to disclose it?

  3. "Men are so hard-wired to think every woman with interest in them wants a ring and kids" – But all women do want to be wifed up. We are wired that way no matter how some women try to act like sex is all they want. Men should be up front no matter what. Otherwise, you're wasting your time & your money taking me out
    My recent post Hey Girl, Does He Have Any Friends?

    1. exactly, even in a time where women are much more sexually liberated, the women who are okay with just sex are either lying to themselves or know they aint sh t.

      1. Or they could just be horny. All men are'nt husband / relationship material some are just good for fun, good D, and company.

    2. Wait, sometimes that is not the case. Yes that is my end goal, but it's not an end goals for just everyman you date/mess with. Some guys are only good enough to pass that time for that moment, or yeah he's good at laying the pipe but long term he doesn't have husband qualities. Just because you are a man who has interest in me, does not make you automatic husband material.
      My recent post We got some figuring out to do: What to do when you get burnt out on dating?

  4. Yes and No.

    Go ahead and tell a chick "i just wanna sex you up, no strings attached" right off the bat. I guarantee you wont get any play except from some ol ugly desperate girls or legitimate "loving-tha-crew" type hos. Why is this? Because the vast majority of chicks are self conscious about being seen as easy.

    That doesn't mean you need to lie or be dishonest to get the goods… you just need to be smoother with it. You gotta be so smooth that she doesn't even realize it until you deftly pop open her bra clasps so you can give her a "back rub."

    *pop*

    As my brother once put it, "there's a tasteful way to do it."

    Don't lie to dip ya stick, just be clever and slick…

    She wont be hard to out-smart if she aint that sharp…

        1. Its not really honest because its saying what we don't want, not what we DO want. There are an infinite amount of things i don't want from her (bacon cheddar burger, syphilis, etc), but only a few specific things i do want. Telling her what you dont want is just smoke and mirrors. It's neither honest nor dishonest. It's being slick and clever. And that's why it works.

          Honest would be "i just wanna fukk." or "i want your slob on my knob"

          and this is why it doesnt pay to be direct and bluntly honest… because if women knew what some of us really wanted (take away all the smooth talk and nice gestures), they might be creeped out. lol

        2. Well i think it's tact and when and where you are going to use this line. When you go to a job interview, and they say why do you want this job? True enough the real reason is because you need the money or you hate that b*tch at your job. But the PC line is because of ….. Now you might get off the lines you stated if A. Club environment, or B. she's a rat and just don't give a truck. But you are right being direct and blunt isn't always the way to go. But telling someone what you don't want gives them some type of something versus a straight out lie.

        3. "There are an infinite amount of things i don't want from her (bacon cheddar burger, syphilis, etc"

          I spilled my drink a lil bit.
          …awesome

        4. Tact is always key. Saying what u dont want vs what you do.. youre just playing semantics now. If you state your position in general and she wont give you play, move on to the next one!

      1. I see you got thumbs down, but that is so true! "I'm not looking for a relationship" or "I'm not looking for anything serious". Does work ESPECIALLY if you treat the lady well, take her out to nice places, on trips, and treat her as if she is a significant other, some women will fall for it, but might also get confused, because you are acting like she is really special. However, I've seen this backfire when she snaps out of the funk and realizes he is doing that other women too.

        1. I think it only back fires if the woman is fronting with herself. Like she knows she wants more form the man but when he told her what he wanted she just went along with it because it’s all she could get. I like to be treated nice because I am a respectable woman and wouldn’t want to be treated any ol kind of way even if it’s just casual.

  5. Here in lies the rub. Women are socialized to be protective of their image. That's where undercover freaks/sluts come in. I've witnessed too many women say they are looking for something real/stable/lasting, only to smash dudes that tickle their fancy. Nevertheless with a straight face, complain about guys only wanting sex. The other issue with laying telling the cold, hard truth at the feet of the fellas is that emotions cannot be predicted. Bonds only develop through quality time spent. The same works in reverse, once we get to know each other that is when we can make an honest assessment of whether or not a person has relationship potential. I'm all for telling the truth, people can say one thing with the best intentions, and it changes due to unknown variables. Either you die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.

    1. well placed dark knight reference, thats the tricky thing, people want set in stone answers over something thats as fluid and unpredictable as romantic interest. theres women i went into courting and after a few red flags i saw myself out, i didnt lie to her, i did want what i wanted at that time. vice versa, ive had people grow on me and i grew on people. we can demand the other is 100 percent honest all the time but at the end of the day the responsibility is on you to trust your own instincts and expectations

  6. yes and no, you should be real when asked, never say anything you dont mean but no, to women who expect progress reports on where this courtship is headed unsolicited. often thats where the “lying” comes from, they dont ask questions they dont want to hear the answers to, moreorless they are lying to themselves. to bucks point, im leery of women who would only want sex, honestly it tells me she is well aware she has not much else to offer and ima need you to aspire to be better sweetie.

    1. See here’s my problem with that. Just because I only want something casual from you doesn’t mean I “need to aspire to do better” if your not looking for a commitment with me why should I trick myself and look for something serious with you. Also men have this idea that their all the women who slept with them, want them to be their boyfriends, sometimes we don’t want the stress or responsibility of a relationship either, maybe we have a lot of transition (careers for example) going on in our lives and just kicking it is cool for us at this moment in our lives.

      It’s like men say they don’t want a relationship but wants a chick who acts like a girlfriend/ like she wants to be a girlfriend even if that’s not what he wants , just to stroke his ego.

      Also sometimes we only want sex because that’s all the man has to offer, and were horny… Sorry were human we get horny and sometimes we keep a part time boo for company and good D.

      1. i get every woman who sleeps with a guy doesnt have to want him, i guess my thing is to be honest that you both want something casual, you have to be honest as to why not more, which is usually they arent good enough for the role.

        1. Hold up let get this straight..

          So when a man tells a woman he is just looking for soemthing casual, we are supposed to interpret that its because he doesn't want HER specifically due to something about her that he doesn't like, right!!?? But yet if a woman tells a man she isn't looking for anything serious or just wants to take it slow, not ready for a relationship, etc. it means because she knows that within herself she is not up to snuff/ good enough for the role of being his GF??
          Seriously????!!!! o_O

          Boy. Bye!!!!

        2. I could be wrong, but I think he meant that from both perspectives…meaning the woman isn't choosing the guy cause he's not "good enough" for her and the reverse for men.

          …maybe I read it wrong though, lol…

        3. You know better….i meant it for both genders. If a woman is with me solely for that work and companionship, why not more…either she's lying to herself and she wants more than shes accepting or she feels for whatever reason im not worth more
          My recent post Today’s Word is… WRONG

    2. "point, im leery of women who would only want sex, honestly it tells me she is well aware she has not much else to offer and ima need you to aspire to be better sweetie. "

      #LiesYouTell.

      Wow. *smhlol*

      You keep believing that Trist!!

  7. I say be upfront with everything. If you only want the physical, don't do things that would cultivate deeper feelings. If a man lies, I think that woman has every right to go psycho, because he has truly hurt her and took away her voice. However, if a man tells you where he stands, it's in our court because in his eyes he has done all that he had to do. He told you what it was. He'll still take the booty, and the gifts but because he said where he was, at that point he has done his part and it's now up to you to decided where you want to go. If you are going to stay in that situation but you want more or think that more can happen, but get let down, don't blame him. You can really only blame yourself, because he's only going to do what you allow him to do.
    My recent post We got some figuring out to do: What to do when you get burnt out on dating?

    1. “If a man lies, I think that woman has every right to go psycho, because he has truly hurt her and took away her voice.”
      Agreed. Go all kinds of Brandy on his ass.

      “I say be upfront with everything. If you only want the physical, don't do things that would cultivate deeper feelings. if a man tells you where he stands…he has done all that he had to do.”
      “This only works in Logic City USA…aka my Inception dream world.

      1. “Cultivate deeper feelings” can mean ANYTHING…a milkshake, a “how are you doing” text, a really good “hit it right”.
      (sidenote) Fellas, ‘ever had a chick cry while you’re in it? You know what I’m talking about…when you get that “wtf just happened here” scary feeling?

      2. Take a poll of all the psycho chick stories that you’ve heard of. I guarantee you , most would fall under the “she knew what this was” category. ijs

      “If you are going to stay in that situation…don't blame him”
      ….again…Inception

      1. "2. Take a poll of all the psycho chick stories that you’ve heard of. I guarantee you , most would fall under the “she knew what this was” category. ijs"

        Fact- some guys will say this and do another thing confusing the heck out of chicks. I.e you'd make a good wife/mother/GF which kinda means that you have thought about her long term and you feel some type of way for her.

        Fact-some guys will do everything relationship wise(i.e their actions which we always are told to look at a man's actions) but then when they are ready to bounce, because she's grown feelings, it's now you knew what it was. If you know a chick is falling for you, why not step back now?

        Fact-I have told men that i was physical with that i couldn't do it anymore because i was in love with them. Well not men just one guy. He still tried to hit it. I didn't (yay me!) So, at this point if i for some reason let him in, because i have told him that i love him, i feel like he knows what it is with me, as well. So then after he once again cuts me off, then i go crazy, now he want's to use the "she knew what it was" response.

        Now i'm not saying this happens all the time. Chicks do get crazy! Point, blank, period. However, to throw the whole 'she knew what it was' but yet you are doing things to doubt your words ( i mean regardless of what people say, words are powerful, just like actions) it is going to cause confusion and hurt.

        1. Payne Well, we ain’t arguing. But, this post is about lying and lying is objective. You wanna talk about actions…which are subjective. A man can’t treat you decent and yet not want a relationship?…damn! And there’s the rub, because sometimes even decent treatment can make people fall in love.

          Just because you ain’t the one for me doesn’t meant that you’re not smart, engaging, fun to be around AND a good lay. GRAY AREA…stand up!

          To cite your example…”So, at this point if I for some reason let him in,because I have told him that I love him, I feel like he knows what it is with me, as well.”

          Okay, but YOU still KNOW what it was. Telling him that you’re in love doesn’t get you off the hook or place ANY more responsibility in his lap. You changed. He didn’t. We men take pride in that kind of honesty.(though it gets us no perception points) So, he gets to keep trying to hit it, you get to keep wanting more, everyone has been honest and the world keeps spinning until someone cuts the cord.

          That’s why your anecdote (or this post for that matter) only works in theory, not application.

        2. LOL no arguments here! Just love!!!!

          "A man can’t treat you decent and yet not want a relationship?…damn! And there’s the rub, because sometimes even decent treatment can make people fall in love. "

          I mean people act like either a man is going to treat you like sh*t or he's going to treat you like gold. Of course you have your happy mediums, just some are a bit confusing than others.

          treating me nice? like holding open doors, having conversations, going out to lunch occasionally. That's cool, i can't fall in love off of that. If a guy is doing that that is very nice.

          Introducing you to the fam, paying for everything all the time (i know about men and their money.), if you have kids ya'll hanging out with them and what not. To me these are pretty big things that can signify that he wants more.

          Blurring lines confuses the hell out of people.
          My recent post We got some figuring out to do: What to do when you get burnt out on dating?

        3. "A man can’t treat you decent and yet not want a relationship?…damn! And there’s the rub, because sometimes even decent treatment can make people fall in love."

          +1. That is the rub indeed. Even women who seek out NSA s#x or accept the offer don't want to be treated like an expendable set of 3 warm wet holes. In hookup situations showing basic human decency can become a minefield. But what do you do?

        4. it's like this .. if you can call me at 2am for some Good Good when your horny, I should be able to call you at 2pm for lunch when I'm hungry. I'm not asking you to be my man, but you can be a gentleman.

        5. "Fact-I have told men that i was physical with that i couldn't do it anymore because i was in love with them. Well not men just one guy. He still tried to hit it. I didn't (yay me!) So, at this point if i for some reason let him in, because i have told him that i love him, i feel like he knows what it is with me, as well. So then after he once again cuts me off, then i go crazy, now he want's to use the "she knew what it was" response. "

          SMH I've had this happen with me as well, and after expressing my feelings he still tried his luck. Don't get it. As you said, YOU know "know what it is" so what do you want? I feel like men in this position really do not know what they want lol.

          Bottom line when you are honest, make sure your actions align with that.
          My recent post Get Over ‘The Hump’ Wednesday: The Best Is Yet To Come!

        6. He absolutely does know what he wants at that point…chex and affection. And nothing more.

          Of course he's gonna try your "no" to see how strong it is. At this point, after you've confessed your feelings and he's still trying you, he's letting you know exactly who he is and how undeserving he is of your heart. Let that be the ultimate turn off and send him packing…as in, discontinue contact cause someone who actually cared about me wouldn't do that so since you serve no healthy purpose for my life, goodbye!

        7. True story! I guess once again i looked at it as responsibility. I mean not everyone should be together just because they want to be together. Sometimes I think you could be friends with someone in that position depending on what they did with that new found information. It's not always men who have to go to that crossroad. I met a guy who was cool and i didn't see him longterm because of a variety of issues. However, he wanted to be with me and bought me some elaborate gifts, and once i realized what he ultimately wanted, I told him how i felt, told him i am still cool being friends and appreciate the honesty. At that point i didnt accept anymore gifts, we went out to lunch everyone once in awhile, and i paid for it. Didn't hang out late at night anymore. I put him as a straight friend because i listen to what he said and took responsibility for my actions and knew what I would do could be misinterpreted. Too many people just don't care.
          My recent post We got some figuring out to do: What to do when you get burnt out on dating?

        8. When I say they don't know what they want, I mean that in a sense more related with them. Until a man is mature is sure of who he is, what he is looking for, these games with any woman will continue. I could still be wrong though; I hear you loud and clear and agree.

          I agree; in my case this individual made his intentions loud and clear to me. He had to hit the bricks. If anything, it showed me his true colors. When I tell you how I feel about you, you say "Well you knew I wasn't ready for that," I cut those strings, and you STILL try me? That's a big sign of disrespect to me, to totally disregard how I feel, trying to use it for your advantage. No bueno. It was a hard lesson learned. No matter what a man does; take you home, rub your feet, introduces you to his people, if he says he doesn't want a relationship believe it.
          My recent post Get Over ‘The Hump’ Wednesday: The Best Is Yet To Come!

      2. I guess what it comes to, if we are just FBs, lets treat the whole relationship as such. Text me after 10 pm. Dont stay the night. I don't care how your family is doing, etc etc etc. When you start being vulnerable and letting your guard down with someone, then things start to change overall. Men and women are the same yet different in thinking. Just know as a FB you are not entitled to a lot of things.

      3. I think Slim wrote an old post about the cultivating deeper feelings thing. Pretty much saying that some men are just nice and treat women well…which then, unfortunately, causes women to "feel deeper feelings". I can actually understand the conflict from both perspectives. Again, I think this is where reconciling actions with words is helpful. If dude is wooing you with his actions but telling you he doesn't want a relationship, then take his kind gestures as just that. If you find yourself liking it a tad too much, back off.

        I'll cop to the fact that #2 is in enough cases…enough to say that women need to do a better job of believing the man's truth when he tells it to you.

        1. "If dude is wooing you with his actions but telling you he doesn't want a relationship, then take his kind gestures as just that. If you find yourself liking it a tad too much, back off. "

          THIS^^^^^^

        2. "Again, I think this is where reconciling actions with words is helpful. If dude is wooing you with his actions but telling you he doesn't want a relationship, then take his kind gestures as just that."

          Yeah. It goes to show that neither gender has a monopoly on mixed messages.

  8. I don't have much to say except that I've had this exact same philosophy since at least '05 lol. I've always said beinh honest covers our asses as men, but it won't deter a woman from ever wanting more. Most women aren't wired for just casual relations for a significant amount of time. Be honest with your intentions but expect some small potholes along the way.

  9. THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU for this post. My motto has always been respect me enough to tell me the truth and let me make an informed decision to continue to deal with you. I may not like what I hear, but I will respect you much more in the end. In reality you have to be mature enough to live in honesty and tell the truth, and you have to be honest with yourself first. Now that's grown and sexy!

  10. Honesty is the best policy, imo…from both genders…to both yourself first, and then to others. I think everyone slants the conversation to get what they want out of it to a degree…even if you aren't telling an outright lie in the process (glances over at 12 Point Buck, LOL).

    This is why it's important to listen and watch for a while before you do or feel too much with a person you're just meeting. You have to reconcile what's being said with what's happening. Most of the time (there are some exceptions…where they are doing the most to deceive you), he or she will trip up between the two at some point and you can use that as your sign that yo is bluffing.

    1. "By lying to get the draws, men also take the power out of a woman’s decision making process."

      This is sooooooooooooooo true…and sooooooooooooooo wrong to do. Everyone deserves the right to know what the reality is so they can face it and choose their position in it.

  11. Honesty is the Best Policy- until folks place Emotions ahaead of the simple fact that Everyone has a Choice and Free Will. YES, A Woman has the Choice to Accept or Decline a Man's 100% honesty, BUT, where does it say that a Woman can Diss/Slander/Demean/Sell a bad Reputation towards Honesty???? That's like a Man doing the Same thing for a Woman who ONLY wants a Man as a Financially Support System w/ or w/o Sex or a Relationship; it's His CHOICE to Accept/Decline, but everything else isn't necessary.

    The Truth DOES Hurt and WILL Hurt, depending on the Person/People. A blatant Racist, Homophobe/Sexist/Elitist MAY/MAY NOT get Respect for his/her Honesty…… Same applies in Relationship Personal Interaction

  12. Tell me the truth. When you tell the truth, although it may hurt I will respect it. There will be no bad blood, and I have the choice and responsibility for the action I take thereafter. The thing lying does is take that choice away from me. That can make a person feel violated in the worst way. I think some men feel that if they tell the truth, then they will receive the crazy, emotional response. I think it's the other way around; when you lie and the truth comes out later (which it will), that's when the undesired response comes. Unless the person is just cray. Then good luck dawg 🙂
    My recent post Get Over ‘The Hump’ Wednesday: The Best Is Yet To Come!

  13. Ladies also gotta be honest as well. I have had countless encounters where I told a woman that I was only having fun, not looking for anything serious. She played it off like she was on that same page, only to catch feelings later – or worse, had ulterior motives from the start, hoping I would fall in love with the Kit-Kat and want to take it further.

    At this age, we are playing for keeps now. Like Streetz said, it's not like it was in high school where drama and mess were the norm. The penalties for running afoul of the rules go way deeper than a bad reputation – you could lose your life. Keep it 100.
    My recent post Communication is Everything

  14. (Nate Dogg voice) HOLD UP!!!! Breaking News: What about ladies who while being undercover doorknobs, talk out of both sides of their neck saying they don't believe in casual sex, or if you work together its "too close for comfort", or that they only want a meaningful relationship? In the meanwhile they smash homies that are in the same circles, other co-workers, or even married cats for that matter. Why can't y'all just tell guys that "I'm not feeling you"? That way when your little secret gets out you don't have to resort to false outrage when the guy you lied to gets upset and make him out to be the villan. In life, the door always swings both ways!

    1. Now my female co-worker just tried to justify not keeping it 100. Saying she doesn't owe that to me if she's not interested. But if you aren't anywhere near the Virgin Mary, and you know you get your swerve on, why feel the need to present a false image? Especially in small circles where the chances are guys who approach know you have somewhat of a "rap sheet."

      1. She’s right. That woman does not owe you. Why do you need to know her business if she’s not interested in you. It sounds like you want to know how she gets down so you can get your chance to f**K. Even if your interested in her, if the feeling isn’t mutual, her business isn’t something she should / ahs to share with you. (noy you personally , like in general men)

        1. I'm not requiring to "know her business", what I require is that you're honest that its "me" and not that you are the personification of chastity and virtuosity. Besides in a small circle, I already have an idea of "how you get down" because people talk. I'm not generally referring to random ladies, I'm speaking more to those who operate in related circles where their business gets out to a degree.

  15. honesty is the best policy. however – many people that say that aren't built to handle honesty on an internal personal level. if that's you then you need to work on that before you start to demand people tell you the truth.

  16. Many people fear being honest because they don't want instant judgement or to be viewed as less desirable or eligible as boyfriend/girlfriend/wife or husband material. Unfortunately this is a damaging practice because in the end it creates a deceptive and dishonest foundation to build from. I've come to the realization that no one is perfect. We all have flaws and honesty is always the best policy regardless. The truth shall set you free. So I'm always up front because I want people to have the choice on whether or not they want to deal with me after they know the things about me that cannot and should not be hidden from them. This is a two way street and life would be better if we all had this mentality. Off the subject does anyone know how to change the World Press or Intense Debate picture??

  17. Yo just be honest and up front especially when you guys start becoming serious, because the last thing you want is to get caught up in a lie, or worse put up this good guy facade with a lot of skeletons in the closet and then when they are found out you come off looking as fake and your teflon is gone. Now am i saying reveal all your sex partners on the 1st date, no. And if you're going to hide some things pick and choose what will be detrimental and what won't…your honey doesn't need to know you wet the bed until you were 14.
    My recent post Things Women Do That Get A Major ‘Side Eye’ From Men

  18. Not a bad article, but man that first paragraph was difficult to read through. Every sentence that contained any element of “..men this…men that…we as men..etc” was cringe worthy. I get the generalizations, and any discerning person should know that you couldn’t possibly mean ALL men engage in this behavior. However, I find it a tad irresponsible at the same time given that such solid assertions plays right into the existing stereotypes of men that so many out there are eager and happy to believe -especially since it is coming from the mind of a man. I think the inclusion of the word ‘many’ or ‘some’ or ‘those men who do lie” would have been more literary responsible as a subtle declaration that although there are those men who do engage in such behavior, not all of men do. Not dissing the article, but I couldn’t help but acknowledge that such phrasing does a good job of subconsciously reinforcing a notion that somehow men in aggregate are wired to be dishonest in their endeavors concerning women; and as you put it, until they mature (whenever that may be since everyone matures at different points in their lives). Damn bruh, you basically signed men a death sentence; basically that we are not to be trusted at all until a woman has somehow ascertained that we have fully ‘matured’. lol.

    Anyway, I do agree with your overall premise though. In my experience though, I can say that honesty (more so confidently delivered honestly) has never proven to be a hindrance to the progression of a relationship or the procurement of the drawz. Again, this has been my lifetime observations. In fact, I’ve found that it has a rainforest effect within the nether regions of many women, which runs counter to what many believe will happen if one is honest.. Believe it or not fellas, honesty is a turn on for plenty of women, because in the end, they can’t help but respect you as a MAN for it; and In general, women tend to gravitate to men they respect, even if they are not fond of the truth being told to them.

    Mr. SoBo OpinionatedMale.com

    My recent post: Going Natural For Life Or Fashion? Why We Love Black Women Who Love Their Hair

    1. Thanks for the critique. Sometimes, you speak in generalizations to convey a bigger message. They might be cringe worthy because we know they apply to dudes we know.

      I speak from experience here too, and try to keep it real as much as possible.

      Thanks for the comment

  19. My rule is, if you wouldn't lie to man about it don't lie to a woman about it. Stuff like at what age I lost my virginity or whether I still talk to my friends from high school, I might lie on just on the strength of trying to appear normal. But if I'm just trying to smash, versus wanting a relationship, I'm going to tell the truth.

  20. Cut the crap, just be open and honest upfront. I met a guy who I wouldn't usually go for or date. We exchanged phone numbers because we worked together and I wasn't thinking anything of it. He was attracted to me and after a while I asked what was he looking for and he said 'NOTHING'. That turned me off, because as a 30 year old man you know exactly what you are or aren't looking for. Women rather be hurt by the truth, so if he told me he only wanted friends to see where it went or just friends with benefits we would respect you more. Even if you said you wanted a relationship doesn't mean you want it with me, but the fact is you know exactly what you want so don't go on just to get on.. We aren't forcing you into something you don't want so keep it real. You don't gotta lie to kick it!!

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