Home Featured 5 Things I Love About Being Married – From a Man

5 Things I Love About Being Married – From a Man

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Ask a woman about being married, the response will be the same 90% of the time. “It’s wonderful” or “My Husband is my best friend” or even “I hate that cheating lying sumb*tch … but it’s better than being single”.  For the most part, it’s understood that married women love being married. Ask a man about it, and who knows what you’ll hear. Could be a simple as “it’s cool”. Maybe he is one of those “I’m married, but I wouldn’t tell anyone else to do it” type of guys who starts thinking about being single again. Or maybe he might actually have something good to say. I’m the last one … I’ve been married for over a year now and while it’s still close to the honeymoon phase, I’ve seen the ugly side of things (sleepwear turns into whateverthefudgeifeellike attire quickly) and feel it’s my duty to share.

5. Dual Incomes I was already in a good place with my career and finances, but multiply it by 2. I mean, SBM loves money … and looking at the bank account makes me a lot happier now. And that’s all I have to say about that.

4. Not Sleeping Alone I know a lot of men aren’t going to feel me on this one, but I don’t like sleeping by myself. My bed has been a full or bigger since undergrad and as a fetal position sleeper (don’t judge) I just don’t need all that space. Plus, sometimes rubbing on a breast helps me sleep. It’s nice to always have that titty just a foot away.

See Also:  The Sacrifices of Marriage

3. Someone To Talk To … Always This is a double edged sword, but I’ll leave the other edge for another post. I will say, that I’ve come home pissed off at the world more than once and I like that I can just start rambling on and on about it and she is bound (by God and the Law) to listen to it all. Even when my mind drifts and I start talking about throat punches, she’s always there to make me feel less insane.

2. Less Work … More Nice Sh* I remember what my house looked like when I was single. It wasn’t that bad … but it was bad. I had to clean, organize, decorate, do laundry, and an endless list of chores and errands. Now, I do half of that and my house is a lot nicer. Let’s face it, life is hard and time consuming and it’s nice to split the work.

1. It’s Easier to Cook Food than Hunt For It Being single is like being a lion in the Serengeti. There is a sea of delicious food to eat, with much variety in taste, color, and texture. Problem is, the food doesn’t always want to be eaten. Sometimes it needs a few drinks first, or dinner, or sometimes it rather be eaten by another lion. Sometimes it will come over to be eaten, chill, watch your tv, eat your food, and then change it’s mind and go home. Then, after you are told you can eat, you might still have to cook it and get it ready. Being married is like having a fridge full of your favorite food, but uncooked. Sure, you have to get it ready to be eaten, but you don’t have to go out and find it and bring it home first. They say variety is the spice of life … f* that. I like ribs!

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I don’t have kids, yet. All this might change once our nice little life is ruined by SBM Jr. (who will be a hell-raiser like his Daddy). But, until that day I will continue to answer the question “how’s the married life” with “Great!”. – SBM aka MBM aka Bought To Cook Some Ribs

Comment(34)

  1. I can't speak for married men, but all i think about is how much responsibility that goes into MAINTAINING a healthy marriage in America, where one or two black people are involved.

    And more importantly, planning from the moment you propose, to the moment you and your (former) wife dies (Will/legacy, making sure your children are financially & psychologically set)

    It may or may not be satisfying, and I am not sure my effort will be appreciated, but it is still work, and 90% of it falls on me.

    Good Day

    1. Its not as much work as you think and 90% of it isn't on you unless you have a truly lazy wife. If that is the case then that husband has to question himself and his decision to have made that woman his wife.

    1. @Chocolate Vent

      You illustrate my talking points beautifully.

      Adonis said

      My point was not about personal responsibility, i agree with that.

      I was arguing that the personal responsibility men & women bear after a break-up is NOT equal , and a man messing with the wrong woman can really set him back. It is not so for women most of the time (exception. MURDER).

      Even in pregnancy, a woman can give their child up, and shirk her parental reaponsibility LEGALLY.

      Should a Man Love a Woman More Than She Loves Him?

      By DamnPops

      1. (Black) Women lack appreciation for what it takes for a man to be dutiful husband (& a father)

      2. And yet because IN MOST CASES you have the LEAST TO LOSE & THE MOST TO GAIN (Cash, prizes & custody of the children.) You have all the INCENTIVE & unmitigated GALL to pressure men into taking the "plunge."

      Good Day

    2. The fact that YOU( a woman) called it a ” plunge ” should underscore why marriage is not beneficial to men in this country.

      1. She put plunge in quotes for a reason…this is how many unmarried men view marriage, that doesn't mean their view is necessarily the reality. (See the above post.)

        Marriage is as beneficial as the two parties in it allow it to be…If a man marries a woman that doesn't compliment him he has no one to blame but himself. In many cases woman are bringing just as much to the table as men financially. This idea that the man has sooo much to lose as opposed to women is archaic…women have just as much to lose.

        1. Think of how many cases you know where women are actually paying a man child support, alimony, or given half of their wealth to a man.

          Now compare that to men who pay alimony, child support and lose half their wealth.

          My point has just proven and your lie has just been exposed.

          In Adonis’s words

          ” Good Day “

        1. Your links are garbage. Most of these so called statistics come from marriage.org websites which purposely put a twist on statistics in order to claim that marriage in this country has a benefit for men. If marriage was so great for men in the U.S we would run to it.

        2. But nevertheless, when you are dealing with non American raised women, I will recommend marriage to any man, SPECIFICALLY my Afro- American brethren.

  2. I think that I would love being married also. I know what I want and I know that I will give my all to the marriage. I know that doesn't guarantee success…but in m eyes I'm not even thinking about failure. Life is so much better when you look for the silver linings in all of the storm clouds instead of the lightening/hail. Perception is indeed Everything!!!!!! Stay Blessed SBM.
    My recent post This was me…….

  3. not married but as someone who “lived in sin” for a lil bit, i can attest to these. well number 1 not so much, as her income was her income, i guess thats where the difference between a girlfriend and a wife takes form. however, spooning, always having a +1, a free interior decorator and having someone to handle those errands does come in handy.

  4. I will be celebrating one year this January, and let me tell you this list is on point.

    That dual edged sword though? yeah bruh, thats EXACTLY what it is. I don't know a man alive who actually LIKES listening to his woman go on about shit that seems just PETTY to us, but women take that shit hella emotionally.
    Men usually don't trip unless its something that threatens our overall livelihood, but women will meltdown and just need a sounding board.
    …and don't have a woman who LOVES to talk or is in a sorority.

    1. "and don't have a woman who LOVES to talk or is in a sorority"

      I'm in that scenario and I THINK I know what you mean…please expound…

      1. lol my woman loves to just talk for NO REASON. Its hereditary, she will walk around talking to thin air. As for the other part, when shes on the phone she has NO volume control, i gotta tell her to go in the bedroom and close the door when she is talking to her sorors.

  5. 5) Dual Incomes- We all know how this goes. If its HIS money, its THEIR money. But if its HER money, its HER money. That dual income isnt really to the guy's advantage here. If I've seen it once, I've seen it a thousand times. Go ahead and use her money to buy yourself a PS4; you'll be seeing some next gen graphics for real when she crawls in your ass.

    4) Not Sleeping Alone-thats why you have a TEAM on ROTATE. if you're single, you should be getting way more play than married dudes. If you aren't, you should work on yourself.

    3) Someone to Talk to- Ok, Drake. lol. If you really need to talk to someone that bad, you need more friends.

    2) Less Work- Whoever told you that you had to clean and decorate when you're single and living alone told you a lie! And if it bothers you that bad, get a maid. They're actually cheaper than a wife, and you dont have to deal with their lip.

    1) Cook/Hunt- So you'd rather eat the same ribs everyday of your life? You prefer that? You never want something different? You aint gotta lie, Craig.

  6. I love being married…. Been married for over 17 years and it's been the best 17 years of my life. I have four kids (wife came with one). I agree with everything said in the post. I have the right woman for me and I'm the right man for her. We have the perfect blend in our relationship. Lots of fun, great amount of boredom (no drama anywhere), great spiritual life.
    Plus, I haven't had to cook in 17 years… It's great to come home and have a meal or just say 'what's for dinner?' – I don't care what it is as long as there's something.

  7. Yikes! Some people are going to have their views on marriage that may differ from others, which is life really. I can't make you think differently but what I can do is share my views and stick to my moral code.

    I think Marriage is a beautiful thing. If it is with the right person, regardless of race. What makes marriage look horrible to some is that they married the wrong persons, they saw these people where shady from the get go but hoped that ring and those vows would change things.

    Being alone is nice, but doing for eternity and having to rebuild that report with every new person you date is tiresome. Take your time, don't rush, find that one that is for you.
    My recent post You owe me: Just because he doesn’t want to be with you, doesn’t make him a bad man

  8. I have enjoyed being married. But men/husbands have assumed that their women are sure about what they have wanted in their men until they find out their wife/gf have always wanted "something different". In reality, the need for "something different" usually indicates there was a lack of (real) appreciation for what they already have at home.

    Being married does include all of these (Dual Incomes, Not Sleeping Alone, Someone to Talk to, Less Work, & Cook/Hunt) but all of those don't/won't so easy after a while. The "give & take" for each of those 5 things requires a constant commitment to communicate your needs & to recognize the level of intimacy the both of you need to live and grow together.

  9. Mr MBM,

    It feels like only yesterday you were Mr EBM (Engaged Black man) moonlighting as Mr FBM (Fearful Black Man lol. But good to see that you hace crossed over to this side of the fence and like it.
    I agree with your post and got a real kick out of #1 Cook/Hunt. I fully agree. Heck sometimes it doesn't even need to be cooked first. Sometimes you can just nuke it and its ready. 1-minute on high like Instant Oatmeal but ends up rather satisfiying like you went out and bought it lol

  10. I'm obviously a woman and I'm not married yet, but in a relationship that has been good. There are some people that are realistic about marriage, and those who are very unimformed and have watched too much television. The truth is, a good marriage can survive cheating, poverty, children, inlaws, only if people accept the fact that it happens, and will continue to fight so it doesn't happens. As for #1, I learned from my parents, that its better to assign certain expenses, to each person. My parents paid half on the mortgage, my dad paid all the utilities. My mom paid for the extras/ big purchases- cars, clothes, groceries, vacations, and home remodeling. It worked because jobs were defined. As for the rest, that is up for debate. I personally enjoy my own bed and it will be hard to give it up permanently. It is nice to share errands and to share food. I am looking forward to the dinner that my man is preparing this weekend. I will surprise him with a homemade dessert!

  11. All of this sounds good, but the reality is that people's view of the institution of marriage is subjective. There is no definitive right/wrong view that does not include an absolute. Marriage works for some, and for others it doesn't. It can be a beautiful thing, and it can also be a nightmare. There are examples of matrimonial bliss, and there are cautionary tales that make single people cringe. There are valid arguments both for and against the institution. Funny thing is that life allows for change and whatever your view is, it can change with the winds of time. I hope to find someone special who will inspire me to change my stance on modern marriage one day, if not I will be quite alright with navigating through the nuclear winter that is the modern dating scene.

  12. As people have previously stated, marriage to the right person is AWESOME! For those that are/were married to the wrong person, hope you make a better decision/find the right person next time. For those that have never been married, keep looking and don't lose hope. For those that are afraid of marriage, PLEASE stay single or find some one else who is just as afraid of commitment as you are and save people that want committed relationships from your non-committal ways. Remember the old rule that is applicable to all aforementioned points: oil and water never mix no matter how hard you shake the bottle.

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