It’s the holiday season, which means family time! If you’re at a good place in your new relationship, and your boo invites you to spend Thanksgiving (Or Christmas now) with his family you politely say yes. Then secretly give thanks that you don’t have a thoughtless jerk who doesn’t care enough to take the time to try to incorporate you into his family life. Now that you’ve arrived, here are my tips:
5. Don’t arrive empty-handed. Ladies, it’s his family. It’s highly likely that he won’t insist that you all stop and pick up a little something for the family to enjoy. Your man may not think it’s important to bring at least a beverage but his mother will definitely give you the side eye.
4. Don’t stick under your man like glue. It screams, “help I’m extremely uncomfortable!” It reads that you are nervous and can possibly be easily intimidated by his big buff girl (you think) cousin. We all know how family members can be toward the new meat. Some will sniff out your perceived weakness and pounce.
3. Avoid eye contact with the creepy uncle. Everyone has an Uncle Sleezy. He gives all women, including those that he is related to, the creeps with his suggestive language and leering looks. To avoid a situation where you have to put your self-defense class skills into action by drop kicking him in the neck, just stay clear.
2. Don’t over compliment the cook. You start yapping about how delectable the turkey is, raving over the candy yams, and praising the caned cranberry sauce only to find out that the entire meal was catered. Play it safe and throw out one general nice compliment. Plus nobody likes a kiss a**.
1. Don’t overindulge in the liquor supply. Most families have a little something to sip on during the holidays. But if the boo’s peeps are anything like mine, then they have a full bar to supply a cocktail heaven all night. Let’s go with one drink when you first arrive to take the edge off. Fantastic idea. But if you find yourself complementing Aunt Vesta on her wig right after initiating a Soul Train line, honey, you have gone too far. Have several seats. And not on Uncle Sleezy’s lap.
xoxo
Ahyiana Angel
About the Author: Ahyiana Angel is a Cali girl who has turned the Manhattan streets into her playground. This sassy storyteller—a former sports entertainment publicist at the National Basketball Association (NBA)—is anticipating the release of her first novel about dating in New York, coveted careers, complicated relationships, and ultimate deception. Angel is the creator of the salacious and popular blog Life According to Her. It’s contrived like reality TV, fictionalized for fun (also to protect the innocent), and sensationalized for your entertainment.
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All facts, only thing I would add is
6. Advantage home team- if we’re at my family thrn then I determine when its time to go, her family then its her call, you dont come between one and their fam
Sounds like you had an incident :-).
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Maybe it's just me but I don't really subscribe to these type of things/rules when it comes to meeting your significant others family. I just be myself and try to roll with whatever is going on and get a feel for who is who. I would hope that whomever I am involved with would feel the same way. I like to keep things simple and not have to think about every little thing….but that's me 🙂
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I'm the same way. The more I think too hard about stuff like this the worse off I am. I think you're the type of person that trusts themselves to act accordingly and can handle just about any situation. Basically you're level-headed. But evidently some people need help!
Yes they do…..but they will eventually get to a point where we are…trust me. Life has a way of changing your perspective on things 🙂
This is a funny list to read but very dependent on that guys family. Much of this is incorrect if it were my family. How my family differs;
5. Don’t arrive empty-handed.
– If I brought you to a family event my family isn't expecting you, as my guest, to bring anything. No one would the be the slightest bit offended if you didn't. They would be more interested in finding out about you then worrying about you coming emptyhanded
4. Don’t stick under your man like glue.
– Ehhh..if i'm walking around speaking to different family members it would be better that you did stick to me like glue. Sitting alone instead of meeting the family with me as I'm making rounds will make you look unsociable and stand-offish. That wouldn't give a good impression.
3. Avoid eye contact with the creepy uncle.
– Agreed. Though for us its the creepy cousin (not uncle).
2. Don’t over compliment the cook.
– Strongly disagree. If you try a dish and like it compliment the cook to your hearts content. Inquire if you can ask how she made it. Strike up conversation about it. That scores major points. Just don't do it in front of everyone if it happens to be an event where multiple aunts uncles brought food over. In that situation find out who made it and do all the aforementioned things to the side.
1. Don’t overindulge in the liquor supply.
-Non-applicable for my family. Pentecostal. So no drinks out our functions
Glad you found the humor in it :-)!
My recent post Past Age 25, I Decided To Stop Entertaining Anyone I Don’t See A Future With
4. Don’t stick under your man like glue.
– Ehhh..if i'm walking around speaking to different family members it would be better that you did stick to me like glue. Sitting alone instead of meeting the family with me as I'm making rounds will make you look unsociable and stand-offish. That wouldn't give a good impression.
I think you can have a happy medium, if you are saying "babe let me introduce you to the fam" then you start taking her around, that's cool. Then at that point I think she should go around and mingle. It really just looks so….weird when he can't go to another room and talk with family without her under his armpit, or just not talking to anyone unless he is there. I figure it's just an added bonus for her to be able to do her at an event like that.
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I agree, it's kinda weird when the men in my family bring women to family functions & the women are attached to dudes hip. I'm nosy so I need to get my fam alone so I can inquire about the girl & I need to get the girl alone so I can feel her out for real 🙂
Walking around with your boo for family intros is cool but sticking under him/her just comes off lame and then people like me and Sincereluv4life can't get in your biz, ha!
My recent post Past Age 25, I Decided To Stop Entertaining Anyone I Don’t See A Future With
Thoroughly enjoyed this, it was on point, do your thing!
Thanks, appreciate the love!
My recent post Past Age 25, I Decided To Stop Entertaining Anyone I Don’t See A Future With
6. Don't show up dressed like you're going to the club afterwards! Save your plunging neckline, skin-tight leggings, sky high stilettos, and freak'um dress for your night out with the girls, not to meet his mama…LOL.
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Good one! That is not hot. The fam will definitely give you the side eye.
My recent post Past Age 25, I Decided To Stop Entertaining Anyone I Don’t See A Future With
In the end you just have to be yourself, if you have to tone it down a notch fine. However you only get one chance to make an impression. You are going to be with him not his/her family but if he/she is a close knit family person who likes to go there for all holidays, birthdays, and occasional sunday dinners then you have to mind your p's and q's because you'll be seeing them quite often. You did forget to mention about the appearance, don't dress too suggestive but don't dress like you have as much style as your grandmother…who's 80.
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Good tips and things to take into account.. I particular am fond of the one about sticking under your man like glue. I think you want to show them they are having an addition to the family.. so be at home. At the same time.. the person who's at home doesn't have to stick under them either.
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