Home Dating & Relationships Dating How Do Black Women Really Feel About Interracial Dating? [Video]

How Do Black Women Really Feel About Interracial Dating? [Video]

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Holding Hands

If there are any rules that we pay close attention to and are sure to follow it’s the Man Code. Now, man code says that it’s a big no-no to ever bring your lady to the barbershop with you. There’s man-talk going on and it’s no place for a lady. Further complicating this is that if you do bring your lady to the barbershop, even if it’s to drop off your wallet, it’s the look that you get from all the barbers and other patrons. Case in point, you’re not supposed to bring your old lady to the barbershop.

Moreover, if you want to throw a further curveball into the situation, try bringing your girlfriend… who just happens to be white. I’m not against interracial dating but I can’t lie to you that seems like a tough weight to bear. I couldn’t imagine how difficult it must be to endure the dirty looks and then it’s overcomplicated due to the fact that not only are people judging you for bringing your lady but also because she’s white.

I can tell you that from personal experiences it’s something that comes with the territory of interracial dating. If you can’t see yourself being with her in every possible setting then you probably shouldn’t be with her to begin with. This video that was released on WorldStar recently sums up the experience but you’d be surprised of the reactions of people in this barbershop as a patron gets into it with a barber about bringing his white girlfriend to the barbershop. Further complicating the scenario is that the barber is a Black woman and she seems infuriated. As she rehashes and reprises serious issues that seem to bother Black women with interracial dating we watch as other patrons react to her and also the white girlfriend.

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This one is rough because she’s bringing up serious issues that come from the heart. We all know how Black women have a tendency to react to a Black man walking down the street with a white woman on his arm but this video was amazing. I figured that it would be a good share and a good start to a conversation about how it feels when Black women see a Black man with a white woman. Watch the video and then leave your reaction in the comment section. As much as we’d like to think that it doesn’t bother us or affect us at all, it does. We’d like to ignore it completely or just act like we don’t care but is that really how we react when we’re among our own people. I can tell you from personal experience that while many people publicly say they’re okay with interracial dating the judgment is never ending.

Again, check out the video and then leave a comment about your thoughts.

Comment(81)

  1. I wonder what would happen if the scenario was reversed. How many white people would stand up for and defend the relationship between an interracial couple, be it a black woman with a white man or a black man with a white woman?

  2. Whatever this post is suggesting…..is not what I got from watching this video. Besides the barber (black actress's), no other black woman supported the judgment on bm/wm dating.

    So….

  3. so, are we just going to ignore the fact that the woman who had a problem with the interracial couple is an actor?? Or have ya'll just not seen the show to understand? This whole black women hate interracial couples thing is specious and the video proves it.

    If you are in the company of black women who are pressed over seeing an interracial couple, you are simply in the wrong company. No need to stigmatize all black women for the ignorance of a few.

    1. I think that's part of what the video was trying to prove.

      The video was asking to see if black people take issue with interracial relationships. According to the video and most people, no we do not.

      It would also be fallacious to say there aren't black people who still have issues with the concept.

      1. I just felt like the post was implying something different. Basically saying that the only reason why these women didn't have an issue with the interracial couple was because they were in public. I do realize that some women do indeed have an issue with interracial dating but I loathe how we clump ourselves together based on race….like all black women think and feel the same

        1. True. I reread the post and you're right. That's exactly what he was saying..O.o.

          I don't think I agree with that. I think that only applies to the people who got confronted for not speaking up.

        2. "We all know how Black women have a tendency to react to a Black man walking down the street with a white woman on his arm."

          This implies that Black women react negatively to the scenario mentioned and the video does in fact prove that you're wrong. Even the actor is in an interracial relationship.

          This is the part I'm sure @Kim was referring to when she stated that the writer (you) implies that generally black women have a problem with interracial dating. Maybe you should re-read your own post. I too tire of the generalizations about how black women feel about everything and how we all behave as a whole. At the end of the day, we are all individuals and shouldn't be judged as a group, but as individuals.

        3. I didn't want to reply to this because I know my intention and the implication of the words I wrote so let me break the post down to you in an outline form and then talk about why your comment really makes no sense except to say that you're just a bit in your feelings. (I know you won't admit it and thus i've moved on.)

          The following points are expressed in the post:
          1st paragraph – The Man Code about bringing your girlfriend to the barbershop
          2nd paragraph – Getting dirty looks from anyone regardless of race or gender when dating interracially.
          3rd paragraph – Knowing that if you will date interracially you shouldn't do so if you aren't prepared to take your significant other wherever, whenever. In reference to the video, that the concerns shared by the actress in the video weren't whimsical but rather real issues that seem to keep arising in the conversation.
          4th paragraph – The actress brings up serious issues. However, people always have a tendency to react, whether positive or negative. A reaction could be "good for him," "i'm glad to see us getting past this," or "another Black man with a white woman," "how does his mother feel about him dating a white woman?" Those are all reactions. Moreover, I go on to say that many times the reaction or commentary that we'll give publicly is not the same as the one we hold privately. Please note, tendency does not mean ALL or EVERYTIME. Please note, that if you feel that there is no reaction at all, albeit nonsensical, you can't change my experiences or that of other Black men, and you should also spend less time trying to tell me what I meant and more time cleaning up the Internet's online magazines and blogs of thousands of articles on how Black women feel about Black men dating white women.

          Lastly, if anyone wants a blog on how Black men feel about Black women dating white men… ask for it. But don't act like we aren't aware of our own issues on the subject or do not have a stance. I've wrote about it, i've spoken on panels about it, and I would be more than welcome to appease you all with a post. Just ask, don't accuse.

          I won't be replying to any further on this because 1) either you don't want to listen to me and understand that you may be wrong about MY intention (because for some reason you can determine that for me) or 2) I really think the conversation should have been about the video and not about one line in a 700 word post.

        4. @Dr. J There's no need to reply any further. Intelligent people read this blog, and can gather meaning from words, use context clues, and make inferences, even when you HOPE they don't.

          A bit in my feelings? Is that all you've got? That's classic. An emotional response to a logical argument. Why would I be "in my feelings" about a post about a tired a** topic? But, I understand that's the only way you can draw attention away from the issue at hand.

          What I don't like is that you don't own your words. I've been reading this blog for quite some time now, and this happens often with you.

          If I wrote: "We all know what you meant when you said [line in question]." You can infer that I am saying, 'we all know that you meant to generalize black women as opponents of interracial dating.' That inference would be correct.

          I'm not attacking you or the post. So, let's be clear. I couldn't care less about this post or your "intentions" when writing it. But, you know good and WELL that when you wrote that line, you were insinuating that Black women feel some kind of way about Black men dating white women, and to say that you meant otherwise insults the intelligence of your readers.

          Some black women do have a problem with interracial dating, MOST don't (me included because I have dated outside my race, as well and I'm not a hypocrite).

          The moral of the story is "stand by your words."
          Also, I selected that one sentence to show how one could gather that you were saying Black women don't like to see Black men dating white women, as several of the readers did, namely @Kim. We know this is what you meant. Sorry.

        5. I'm sorry but I am owning my words and you are refuting my ownership because you know what I meant more than I did.

          I guess that is an insult to all the readers intelligence. If they feel that way, i'm sorry that's pathetic.

          This conversation is over.

        6. Perhaps you should reread your post. I saw tho video a couple of days ago and when reading your post I expected to see a different video from the one I saw. You are indeed implying that majority of black women have an issue with interracial dating whether intentionally or not. If that isn't what you meant to say then you should probably rewrite co clearly your readers are not getting the point you think you're making

        7. Dude said he was posting the video to start a conversation, you guys are reaching. Stop projecting insecurity.

        8. @Bellatrice1

          Y’all only want to be judged as individuals when people feel negatively about you, not before.

        9. @Dr J

          you can’t change my experiences or that of other Black men, and you should also spend less time trying to tell me what I meant and more time cleaning up the Internet’s online magazines and blogs of thousands of articles on how Black women feel about Black men dating white women.

          And the crowd goes wild!

          We basically feel like our intelligence is being played on every time. As if they don’t know what we are talking about.

        1. stop being a cornball for 5 secs in your life and you'll see how that conclusion can be easily drawn from your comment, bullying is an action, an effect or result of something. typically a result of a problem someone has with their own lives or someone elses, this case is about race

          your logic is the same one that gets repeated in debates about gun control "this is more about gun control than _____"

          put your pretentious nonsense to the side and learn to deal with criticism, u acting real lightskinned

    1. Again, Dr. J said Romantic S/O, not Women in General. and the Man Code for that is REAL.

      Men won't Clown a Brotha WHILE his Woman is there, depending on the Guy they May Not Clown him IN HIS FACE, However, he WILL be Clowned- Especially If/When his Romantic S/O is White. Be it a Joke or Serious Slander, a Brotha WILL be CLOWNED for having His Woman come in

  4. (1) Most of the BW who comment today are going to feel attacked, I hope they can keep it all the way 1 Million.

    (2) Because the fact that you are commenting but not on "Lessons Learned on Love and Friendship from ‘The Best Man Holiday’" (I bought a ticket to see this movie & didn't show up, but I make sure in a sleep deprived state to see "The Dark Knight Rises" & "Man of Steel"), show how much you GAF.

    (3) the video was interesting, my take-aways

    – Who brings their White Girlfriend to a Black Barbershop? And not smell a trap?That let's you know that everybody in that barbershop was (blue collar) SQUARE & straight-laced.

    – American Black people, especially when we are not under the pressure of poverty & and the competitive sexual marketplace, are the least prejudiced/bigoted/tribalistic people I know. And this is problematic because every other group in America does not play by those similar rules.

    – That BW was a poor actor (3 out of 5 stars). She comes from a great background, part of the reason why she has a White Boyfriend. They needed a "Angela" from Tyler Perry's "Why Did I Get Married" franchise. She encapsulates that irrational hating azz BW.

    (4) From what I have observed, Black women have no problem dating outside of race (= White men) but those same women & other BW will give you fever for dating non-BW. It's a self-interest thing.

    (5) We just had a blame fest in "The Problem of the Inflated Black Male Ego" & in that comment section, it justified why every upwardly mobile BM should keep his options wide open,

    BW believe that having resources & an ability to make money is unimportant, so with that warped thinking, they are begging BM to hop over the fence.

    (6) This video was not eye-opening or a good barometer of how the black community or the white community really feels about IR dating.

    I think America (White Men) only have a problem with IR dating when it is a Black Male with a White Woman.

    Every other pairing is more than acceptable.

        1. her role as an actress was to be offended by the white woman. if that's her role why would she be like "look in the history book" as if racism is over? thats why she quickly fixed it by saying "it still happens now" … they probably told her to do that from the back through the transmitter in her ear. thats why i said it sounds like a blooper. obvious mistake to leave that part in.
          My recent post BLACK MAN IS JAPAN’S TOP TV COMMERCIAL ACTOR

  5. I love black women, but it would be a joke to have everyone pretend like there isn't an elephant in the room when it comes to interracial dating.

  6. I love this show – it always makes me realize that I'm not as good of a person as I THINK I am lol – here's my thing on IR dating – I think it's fine. It never bothers me to see a BM with a WW. I don't get pissed off or angry. I DO get angry when I encounter BM who say things like they ONLY date non-BW. I think that is because the people I encounter who say that are also saying they aren't attracted to BW b/c of x,y, or z generalization. Like if you just aren't attracted to BW fine – but to say that you don't even entertain the idea of a BW b/c all BW are this or that is what will make my blood boil. I think what all these posts show is that NONE of us want to be judged and generalized.

    To be honest though – if I were in this video I probably wouldn't have said anything to the Barber Chick. Only because I don't think it's worth your time to try and change some stranger's mind. If anything I'd have said nothing or did like the first lady and told the white girl to ignore her. So I guess maybe I'd be seen as part of the problem. I wonder though if people in IR relationships discuss how to handle these type of situations. Like you bringing your white GF to the barber shop do y'all have a head's up type conversation?

    1. You have summed up my beliefs in that one paragraph. I think people confuse the idea of BW being bothered by interracial dating, with the situations you described above. I am fine with it. I date interracially as well. Do you boo. It is just the "explanations" that irritate us. Things like "I don't date them because…blah blah". I don't make excuses when I date interracially, and I think it sounds crazy as hell when others (men and women) do it. Just date who you want and keep the reasons to yourself. Most of the time the explanations make people sound delusional and bitter as hell, and are often stereotypes or generalization of one or both groups. Including the group that the "desired" person is from.

      Often times it is like they just opened their mouth and a lifetime of rejection and bitterness just poured right out.

      1. @Southerngyrl_

        1. Black women have to stop being in denial about your reputation & how people who are more powerful than you, perceive you. Your perceived reputation (fat, attitudinal, ghetto, irresponsible sluts, etc.) FAIR OR UNFAIR, plays a role on the type of men willing to date you. Your comment implies you are still in denial about.

        Black men know their reputation very well, and we as a group make a concerted effort to distance ourselves from the dusty irresponsible dudes on our ranks.

        2. We are about to check into 2014, we need to stop worrying about why people are together (exception: if their being together affects you in some tangible way, like you getting FOOD, CLOTHING, SHELTER).

        A lot of white people get together to keep the white race going, but are not crazy about each other from a romantic perspective.

        Some black men get with non-BW because they HATE BW. That is their business. Unless you want to DO one of them, it really doesn’t matter.

        Good Day

        1. You know, how can you assume the thoughts of other men? I have a problem with your number 1 comment. The perceived reputations of BW being "fat, attitudinal, and ghetto sluts" are being pushed more by Black men like you. SMH. Just sad you fine so much joy in being a pot stirrer. These generalized stereotypes about Black women come from a Westernized racist / self hate ideology. Quite frankly I'm tired of them.

          Sorry but not all Black women are bitter about Black men dating White woman. Your grown and I don't care who you sleep with, I just hate being put down for you trying to feel good about your preference. I am approached by all types of men. I do have a preference for decent Black men but best believe hating Black men are just making room for other men to court us. That is all.

      2. EXACTLY!!! NO one need explain or apologize for their choices. Life is too short to sit around with an issue over who someone else is with or WHY they are with who they choose. As a wise man said, what you eat, don't make me shit. LOL.__LIFE is for THE LIVING….others can opinonate as you live your life.

        and as I always say…..CAN'T NOBODY TELL ME HOW MY SHOES FIT. 😉

    2. I've Dated IR. For Me It's No Big Deal. It's Not Something I Go Out Looking to do But It Has Happened. So I Am Familiar With the 'Looks' and Such You Sometimes Get. The Biggest Problem I Have When I See (us) Black Men With 'Other' Women is: Most of the Time the "Other' Woman Is Not Even F-I-n-e. I Mean … If You Are Going to Date IR She/he Should NOT Be Someone 'Bottom of the Barrel' I Can't Blame (some) Sisters When They Turn Up Their Noses or Make Comments Because You Walked In With "String Bean Buck Toothed Becky" or "Ten Tons of Fun – Obviously Over Weight Amy". That is … Unless She Has a Multi Million Dollar Trust Fun. 🙂 . In That Case … All Bets Are Off (yea I said it). Even Then … I Would Limit the Amount of Time I Spent in Public (don't mind me I'm just tripping).

      Just Saying … Based on My Experience: You Are Going to Catch 'Some' Flack Anyway. They Might As Well Be 'Fine As Hell' to Make It a Little Easier to Take. For Me … The WW in the Vid is NOT Quite Fine Enough to be Out in Public With. But to Each Their Own. Maybe She Has Some 'Other Skills' Not Readily Apparent. Black Men Need to Learn to IR Date Like Black Women Do. If You See Them Out With a WM or Whatever … In Most Cases She's Not Half Stepping.

      Just My Opinion

  7. I feel as though if a person is happy and knows who they are they won't care who dates who. It's the people who have no idea who they are or people that may be closed minded to the idea of interracial relationships. I don't know how I would react if I heard this situation going on in the barbershop where I get my haircut. We can open up dialogue, go back and forth or whatever you want to say. The bottom line is everyone's opinion and perspective needs to be respected because those are their feelings. As long as it isn't projected on someone else then it's all good 🙂
    My recent post Terrific Tuesday

  8. I've always maintained that I don't have an issue with interacial dating. As long as it isn't doesn't done for status ("look at me I have a caucasian woman on my arm") it's all about what makes a man happy. And maybe…just maybe he has had bad experiences with women of his own race and wants to try something new. Same with the women. However I have always wondered about the plethora of afro american celebs/athletes who have married caucasian women who weren't. (Karl malone, dennis rodman, charles barkley, tiger woods, michael strahan, taye diggs to name a few) but there are hardly any white celeb women who have married a blue collar black man
    My recent post Confessions Of A Soul That’s Seen Too Many…

    1. maybe those rich/famous black men who married non white women had bad experiences with people of their own race

      as for white celeb women marrying blue collar black men, that simply doesnt make sense. women marry for security. fact of life that exists all around the planet past present and future. if she is already rich why would she marry a man that isn't. also, you have more rich/famous men than women in general.

      My recent post BLACK MAN IS JAPAN’S TOP TV COMMERCIAL ACTOR

    2. I get that, but here's a problem: There are plenty of BW who will speculate and rationalize as to why a BM would date/marry a WW, regardless to what he says or if he even says anything at all. 9 times out of 10, it's assumed that he CAN'T handle a real woman (as if a white woman is less than real), he's a self-hating Negro, or he needs somebody who will take his sh*t with a smile. (even though there are quite a few BW who are playing the baby mama, or the side chick, or the chick that's been repeatedly cheated on, but hadn't left yet). All of these are nothing but stereotypes anyway, and are often the first resort when seeing a BM/WW pairing. Like some of the other commenters say: What they eat don't make me sh*t. It's their life, their consequences; I'm too busy living my life to be trying to control the choices others make.
      My recent post New friends

  9. The BW barber, The WW GF and the BM client were ALL actors? Additionally all of the barbers in the shop knew that the taping was going on, so only the clients were being "tested"

    With all of that being said this couldn't capture the true essence of what would have really went down in a barber when a white women walks in. Which probably would have been nothing or as stated above been the same reaction if ANY women rolled in.

    It is amusing as hell to me though, that it is reiterated over and over and over again that no one gives a tiny rats a$$ that White chicks are dating Black dudes and yet it can't ( reads won't ) be believed. I know everyone wants it to be true, needs it to be true, maybe people need it to feel like they are living on the edge, maybe the conflict is what they need to make themselves seem less ordinary *shrug* but really believe us WE REALLY DON'T CARE!

    ( and yes the blame is what irritates us whether we know our reputation or not, go figure out your own damn reputation LOL)

        1. Because variety is the spice of life.

          Miscegenation has been going on since the dawn of time. No one section of a particular group belongs to another. Realistically, most races still marry someone of the same race more often than not. I think those ties are often cultural as well.

    1. ….though I don't completely agree.

      I absolutely applaud your hard stance. Most black women fake the funk….and you did'nt

      High Five!!!

  10. Every time we talk about how BW feel toward interracial dating we end up with the same conclusion: Most of us don't care as long as you don't explain or justify your choice saying stupid generalizations. People saying those things don't even realize it's a double diss. Like you're trying to tell me you're with that person just because you are fed up with your own people, don't you love her?!?!?!

    There are BW who think like the actress… But they are loosing this battle… Interracial dating is the future… Soon the world will be all mixed… Racists should give up already (yeah yeah you racist if you have a problem with the concept of interracial dating… check yourself 😀 )!

    1. I just think the argument that "most of us don't care" is not very well supported by real life discussions and/or the material posted in public forums such as Online magazine, newspapers, blogs, Twitter and Instagram.

      1. Lolllll… So "most of us don't care" isn't a good argument… But the "discussions and the material posted in public forums" is???? Euhhhh… Come again por favor…

        But you know what let's keep your logic… I see here that BW who commented on this site (we can consider it a public forum right?) mostly said that they don't care about interracial dating.
        In the video also, all of them reacted except one… And the women didn't even know it was for a show. So they didn't react in order to look good in front of the cameras, they stood up for what they think was right.
        Now yall are still saying "the video is edited", "we won't admit it in public", talking about real life discussions… REALLY?!?!?
        Is it that BW have a problem with interracial dating or that BM want BW to have a problem with interracial dating????

        1. Exactly, sometimes I feel black men want us to have a problem with their interracial dating, and I don't know why.
          Don't you want us to be happy for you? Unless the whole point of him dating out is a misguided way of giving the finger to black women who he felt "wronged" him. If he sees that we don't care then one of the purposes of his relationship holds no weight.

      2. People are correct in their critique of this piece you wrote. You either needed to go back to the drawing board and find another way to get your point across or use another video to illustrate your point, because this one does not support it. This shows black women not having a problem with interracial dating and even coming its the defense but somehow what you got away from this is that the actress was displaying the real feelings of most black women and the non-actress was not. Then you want to justify your argument with "that's not how black women react online." Perhaps its best you take a break from the internet and get to know some real life black women and not internet trolls.

  11. "when Black women see a Black man with a white woman"

    This isn't the only kind of interracial dating there is, though.

    Funny how that never comes up in this – i.e., the "SBM-focused" – context.

    #thingsthatmakeyougohmm

    1. Posted this up thread. If you want a post on that, then we could write a post on that. But don't accuse cats of never writing a post on that subject or being incapable as if this post is "typical" in anyway.

  12. I don't have a problem with interracial dating as long as its done for the right reasons (i.e. not to fulfill a fetish or some trendy ideology of a "bad bitch"). I see a lot less black men dating white women than white men dating black women, and when I see the latter I have no problem with it although I haven't yet gotten to the point where I can see these types of relationships without speculating the guy's motives. For this reason, I personally cannot see myself dating a white man. I think my skepticism here arises from high school trends (I'm in college) of guys thinking Asians are the baddest girls.

    A situation happened the other day on the train that made me so mad and its semi-related, so I'll just share it. I walked onto the train, past a group of about five black teenage boys, and immediately one said, "Umm, can I get your number?" I walked to a seat, paying him no mind, when I heard another boy out of the group say to his friend,"You be hollering at the ugliest girls yo!" Another boy: "Who her?" Same boy:"Well, he need to start getting them Asians" Second boy (calm): "I like black girls tho" This entire conversation ensues 2 seats away from me. Never mind that one was disrespectful, I could not help but be angered that this conversation had nothing to do me, my features, or anything except the fact that I'm black. I've gotten insults and compliments in my day, and I've accepted that "beauty is in the eye of the beholder", but I don't agree with the fact that a black "man" offended me for no other reason than my skin color. Hell, if this happened years ago or if I was less confident about my looks, this may have scarred me. Some youth these days! But anyway, I'm not gonna let a post get me upset about something I forgot 10 minutes after it happened lol.

  13. This is interesting. I'm friends with a lot of white people and one of my work friends who is white called out a black guy at our job about how he only dates/sleeps with white women and how she sees what he is doing. Anyway this video is a little extreme. I feel like most people would say how they feel behind closed doors and not in front of random people.

  14. Q: How Do Black Women Really Feel About Interracial Dating?

    A: Based on the video and from what I've experienced, most black women aren't bothered by it, just the claim made by some (albiet a minority of) black men that black women are less desireable than women of other races.

    Also, it's worth noting that there were three people who stood up for her – two black women and one black man – and no one co-signed the black female actor. In a black barber shop – with more men than women – I think it’s interesting that more black women spoke up.

  15. I know white ppl (males) who exclusively date black women and I say w/e. As long as its real go for it, who am I to impede upon your happiness.

  16. to some extent. I believe bw, do get mad about bm. Dating out. It does not necessarily have to be a ww that he is dating. It could be a hispanic women and they would still get mad about it. And they would still call him a sellout for dating non bw. Still, waiting on that post about how good brothas get overlooked. and why bw still date bad boys. And complain there isnt any good bm left.

  17. I don't think a lot of black people (men or women) care either way. As a man though, I feel the ladies when they say they do get irate (and rightfully so) when they hear black men say they don't date black women for "x, y, z" reasons because it's ignorant and this whole "grass is greener on the other side" non-sense has got to stop. I won't stop there, however, because let's keep it real, a lot of black women say/do the same as these ignorant black men when they date interracially (just had this conversation with my friend and his wife this past Saturday) so both black men AND women are most definitely guilty of this. Oddly enough, I think a lot of people date for hidden agendas anyway regardless of whether it's interracial or not (ex. "I don't like her because her but ain't big enough", "I ain't feeling him because he ain't making 6 figures", "I only date non-black men/women because they are better for whatever reason" ,et cetera) to which I say good luck at finding true happiness (with anyone of any race) when you date someone for messed up, superficial, or shallow reasons.

  18. First Off … Before I Watch the Vid … A Female Barber C-h-a-n-g-e-s the 'Tone' of a Barber Shop Any Way. I Don't Think an All Male Barber Shop Would Really Care. All They Want to See is: Does She Have a Nice Asssp (course that applies for any woman who comes in) and Is She Good Looking Enough to Be Worth All the Trouble. Nothing Against Female Barbers. The Best Barber I Ever Had Was a Woman in ATL. Hated Losing Her When I Moved. Even to This Day Whenever I'm Back in the 'A' I Make it a Point to Stop Through. Just Saying …

    Now I'll Watch the Vid.

  19. My black girlfriend is dating an asian man and they get the craziest reactions from black men: verbal assault and violent threats. I think that would be a pertinent topic in this blog if you spoke to how single black men feel when they see black women with non-black men. Because let's face it, whether black women feel a way or not is irrelevant cause we not going to do nothing about.

    But men can get aggressive real quick and start fights for no reason. It's a major issue. Dudes just be punking these guys, it's like unsafe. I'm not saying you the writers are like this, or all black men are… not even a majority. But not all white people attacked interracial couples in the 50s either, and it's a serious problem my friend experiences this regularly in 2013.

    1. Dum ass punks like that will step to the wrong one and get their asses kicked. I was with a friend who is from India who is married to a black women some nut try to jack him up just because he was with a black woman I had to knock this fool the hell out. People are a damn trip.

    2. I have a friend dating a White guy and she and he recently went to this small bar in Atlanta. Boy, she said when they walked in you would have assumed she was a celebrity super model. All eyes from the BM in the room were on her and her date. The disrespect was thick. Even dudes who had dates with them were trying to talk to her or add little comments. One of them tried to cut in front of her date while they were dancing. Crazy. I guess some BM aren't comfortable with BW would choose IR dating.

  20. I have no problem with inter racial dating, have a brother who is happily married to his white European woman and they have two wonderful kids.
    I am attracted to some white men….dark hair, tanned, and muscular….
    however, I LOVE ME some black men with no shame.
    Matter fact if we run out of black men, will order one from the havens and ask the skies to rain some more… just LOVE them… Ohhhh La La!!!

  21. This is how most black women feel abt educated men:

    You’ve got the softest touch and when you look at me, I can see love overflowing out of your beautiful, kind eyes. You’re everything and so much more I wanted in a guy, you listen to me ramble nonsensical lyrics while I trash your room with ash everywhere. You pick up my call in the middle of the night with gusto even when I repeat the conversation I’ve had with my best friend for the 354678 time. You never once interrupt me or try to hang up. You listen because I am an insomniac and I have nothing at night to do, except making sure people around me are awake too.

    You are everything I ever wanted in a guy, if only I was looking for one. If only my heart was mine to give anymore. If only you were my first boyfriend, I would have made you my last.

    You pay for all the dates and hold doors open for me. You even pulled a chair out for me in McD’s and I wish with all my heart that I could love you, but I can’t. When I am with you and you look into my eyes, I don’t see you. I see a version of me that you see and it strokes my vanity. I flatter myself by toying with the amazing person that you are. When you hold the door out for me, I don’t start to believe that chivalry is still alive. I don’t upgrade my thinking of men. I just walk in and tell myself I am worth a guy like this.

    It’s wrong I guess, but I am like spilled beans on the ground trying to hold myself up, trying to gather my pieces. Trying to sort my shit out. When you keep your arms around me while we watch Star Wars, I don’t dwell on your warmth or take comfort in your presence. I watch the damn movie and feel a piece of weight lying on me. That’s it.

    My brain should shoot my heart heavy bullets but instead I am numb inside. You can’t break an already broken heart. I don’t feel guilty while I nod as you tell me you want to marry me and have a daughter with a nose exactly like mine. I hate my nose and I never plan to get married but I don’t tell you that, because I am busy thinking of him and how I deserved to hear all this piece of crap from him.

    When you hold my hand as we cross the road and you push me on the other side so the car hits you first, I don’t see pretty pink hearts clouding my sight. I feel like I have earned this, even when I haven’t.

    I don’t feel remorse leading you on, I just feel less bored.

    I don’t mean it when I tell you “I love you.” It’s not even in me to love anyone right now.

    I feel like my heart has been ripped apart from my chest and somehow I am relying on you to give it back. The irony is that you don’t even know what it feels like to hold my heart in your palm. He knew, a long while ago he held it there and right now it’s scattered somewhere in the love songs he sang to me, the letters he wrote for me, the cupcakes he bought for me. It’s scattered all around his dorm room and patio and ceiling and windows and chocolate wrappers in his dustbin. Every scrap is his. Every piece is his. Every relic is his.

    Even when I am in your arms, I am his.

    But I won’t tell you that, because if you leave I’ll just miss him more than I do when I’m with you. So I smile at the ice cream you buy for me in your car as you take me for a long drive. I am not even into the pretty roads and lust bushes all around us, I just think of him.

    I try to look at you and see only you but instead all I see is eyes that I wish were like his. I don’t do this deliberately and I really really like you, but that’s all I’ll ever do.

    The reserve for love is jammed up and you and your overflowing love can’t make it move even an inch. Like I said, you are everything I ever wanted in a guy when I was looking for one, but right now all I am looking for is him and you are not him and so I don’t want you.

    I want him. I just want to want you.

    I wish I could say I might start loving you sometime but, you see, I have a thing for assholes. I only fall for guys who stomp on my heart and tear it into tiny little pieces and make my life a living hell. And I rebound with nice, adorable, genuinely honest guys like you.

    I’ve done this before and I’ll do it again.

    I wish I was a better person sometimes, so I wasn’t turning nice guys extinct, so I wasn’t responsible for karma biting me in the ass but it is just beyond my control. I just can’t love someone who loves me and be content with it. I guess that just makes me a girl you should stay away from. I wish it meant we have a future together and that I want a son exactly like you, which by the way I do, just with a different father.

    I wish I could tell you that you’re the man for me and mean it, so I can see your cheeks turn pink and a gentle smile kiss your lips but I can’t. I mean, I can say it, but the meaning it part is the bitch here. Plus, when you’ll inevitably smile I’ll only think of him.

  22. I'm going to be honest as a black woman, black women in general do react negatively to seeing black men in interracial relationships. But unfortunately there is some just cause. And that just cause is due to us being generalized! From my personal experience whenever I do ask a broth why he is with Becky or Susy, his answer isn't 'she's the right one for me and we just fell in love.' the answer has always been 'black women are this (bad thing) or black women are that (bad thing). No one truly cares who you date, as we see more black women are getting their happy endings by dating interracially. It's the stigma of being labeled an ABW by our own men and and therefore feelings of abandonment. Just my two cents.

  23. I tell you what is funny. I was a nerd and very shy. And a lot of women I wanted did not want me but as soon if I date outside of my races they got mad. You did not want me I was too much of a dork, why do you care who I date? People like that are a trip.

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