I catch the Metro everyday to work. There are a few things that I typically spend my time doing; reading everyone’s new blog on my phone, listening to hype music to get me through the day, and people watching. For some reason, I always notice the pretty women on the train. Why? Because there’s typically only about three or four on a car. And no I’m not talking about cute or well put together, or dateable, I’m talking about pretty women. “Pretty Women” are defined as women who are widely regarded as better looking than the rest of the women in the world.
I am one of those guys who has the privilege of having a best friend who happens to be a pretty woman. And it’s not just her because I have several female friends that this applies to. Check this out:
Bestie: I just don’t know what I want to do, or who I want to be with. I need to find a husband.
Me: That’s okay though. What do I always tell you? You don’t have to worry about those things because you’re beautiful.
Bestie: Thank you Baby Jaxson!
One thing I always notice about the small number of pretty women on the Metro in the morning is that they are almost always married. And then, after exiting the train I have to cross what some have dubbed “The Golden Triangle.” I’m from DC and have no idea why it’s called this, but, it might have something to do with the fact that the intersection at Connecticut Ave. & K Street NW consistently yields some of the most fashionable, attractive young professionals in the city. As I cross I notice, again, all of the pretty women have engagement rings, wedding bands or both. What’s going on here?
After careful consideration, I figured it out for myself, not to say you will agree with all of this, but:
No Man Wants to Feel Like He F*cked Up
Nobody goes to the car lot and says, “Let me get that old beat up joint, it’s got character.” Yeah, you’ll do that if you’re broke, but most men don’t go to the car lot broke. Every man has his dream car, and he probably can’t afford it, but he ranks his options from the dream car to the hoopty. And that’s the same way men are with women. They are almost never looking for the hoopty. Yes, if their credit is messed up and they don’t have enough cash, they might end up with the hoopty, but they are never checking for that first. They are trying to get a woman that they can sport around town and feel proud about it.
Pretty Women Have Less Barrier to Entry
If I’ve learned anything about women, it’s that pretty women don’t worry about other women. Typically, these are the actions and thoughts of women who are used to being passed over for the more traditional perception of what pretty means. Pretty women also don’t hold it against men that they only like pretty women. Unlike the other women who have a tendency to hold a man’s appreciation for beauty against him. Do you know what that does for your self-esteem? It causes your thoughts and conversation to be inundated with consistently trying to prove that a man who is attracted to pretty women has some type of complex. Which in turns only goes to prove to everyone that indeed that woman has an inferiority complex. For example, “The only reason why you like Lauren London is because she’s pretty.” But pretty women don’t share this same complex which leads to women defeating themselves.
Pretty Women Don’t Have to Do Extra Credit
I feel sorry for women who feel they have to do a little extry just to get ahead. I think that pretty women aren’t those type of women who feel like they have to be a little skanky to get a man. In fact, and I’ll argue this to the day I die, a man will put up with a pretty women with a wack sex game before he’ll date a busted women with Uranium poon. It’s a fact. This allows pretty women to be less stressed and tired of being sick and tired. Remember that scene from the Color Purple, “All my life I had to fight. I had to fight my daddy. I had to fight my uncles. I had to fight my brothers. A girl child ain’t safe in a family of men, but I ain’t never thought I’d have to fight in my own house!” Yep, you never going to hear a pretty woman say that.
Pretty Women Can Pretty Much Do What They Want
And what this means is that if a pretty woman wants to get married, there’s almost a 100% chance she’ll get married in a week. I’ve seen pretty women not have money for their dinner, not do homework for semesters, tell men to put their coats down in puddles and even carry them. Let me tell you a secret, if an ugly girl asks a dude to put down his coat for them, he’s going to make sure to step in that puddle so it splashes over her open toes. Pretty women get the opportunity to show little to no skill and get a great job. Trust me, I’ve worked in corporate America with some of the dumbest pretty women in the world, and meanwhile, other women who are really intelligent just can’t get a break. Case in point, Kim Kardashian, could you see it working if she wasn’t pretty?
Let me come clean. I do believe that ugly women do get married. It’s usually because of the fringe benefits she’s able to offer her partner which begin to outweigh looks. For example, there is a fell chance that pretty women can be a little vapid because they’ve never been asked to bring anything to the table. Whereas, other women develop great conversational skills, learn to be smart and sometimes make a whole lot of money. There are benefits and advantages to each type of women. However, don’t confuse what I’m trying to say here, all things withstanding, pretty women have a higher propensity to being married. And even with that said, I’m left feeling frustrated when I see a pretty woman and she’s got a big fat rock on her finger. So I’m stuck standing there making a decision; do I take the affordable and serviceable sedan, or save my money and wait until I can afford that Bentley?
This post has been updated since it originally ran in 2011, but you can view the original post and comments here.
This post sounds good. Like your posts mostly do.
I do think there is a lot of truth in this post. I’ll let the circus handle that.
As for me, my wife will most likely be a PLAIN JANE (or JANET.)
Cause I need a girl who makes my life better & who I can be proud of.
And then I’ll just keep the pretty vapid girls as my side-pieces.
Salute!
Subbed
Replying to the posts but dunno how so here goes;
-I grew up being called pizza face in high school.
-I start putting on college and more money to spend on clothes (fashion shows personality).
-I was unhappy being called sexy by a guy I slept with. I could feel him treating me like a sec doll.
-Wish every sexual relation is good for BOTH. 🙁
I read the original post and the comment section to not re-hash a dead issue. The 1 thing that tripped me out was how people still cling to "Show me a beautiful woman..and I'll show you a dude who is tired of fukking her". You only get tired of smashing a pretty chick if that's all she was to you from the get-go. Attraction is what you lead with, but chemistry is what kinda fuels the relationship. So yeah, if the only thing you have w/ a pretty woman is sexual attraction, of course it's going to get old very quickly. But being that your observation is based on hardware on their finger, a man clearly saw more to them than just being a pretty body in the bed sometimes.
Slightly off topic: from what I've heard, DC is a hotbed for women who are pretty +(insert other qualities that make a woman marriage-able). And assuming the caliber of men that live there, that's likely 1 of the easiest cities for a pretty woman to become a Mrs., no?
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I’ve heard this before. Yea he would get tired cause character is priceless looks fade. I’ve been blessed to me a pretty chick myself hear it all the time. No I don’t have Beyoncé body but still pretty. My question is if she’s so pretty why she on the train? Not in her car? I say that cause typically they get special treatment. I see them on the bus stop with a bunch of kids. Why?
Many people who work in DC ride the Metro because it can be a b**** trying to park and it's expensive as hell so it probably has nothing to do with her financial situation. Most professionals in DC are making pretty decent money and are usually very educated.
I think that in DC a lot of women are pretty and then they assume they have qualities that make them "marriage-able." I think the confusion lies on what those qualities are. That's the biggest confusion in DC right now from being on the ground level.
It's like a woman will say, "I'm attractive, I have my Master's degree, I own my own home, I can provide for myself, I'm not ratchet… I'm marriage material." The problem with that is that only a small subset of men think that's what constitutes as marriage material. For some odd reason, most women in DC can't comprehend that.
It is what it is.
Yeah, look ain't everything at all. To a man or a woman.
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Pretty women will probably get married quicker, but will they stay married? Being pretty is a nice thing to be, because as for any gender in the world, what you see is so important these days. Looks are a big part of how we judge people. Eventually, if you have nothing to back it up, that pretty face will get a crappy reputation. Kim K. is a very pretty girl, but how often do people in the media call her everything but the child of God? Pretty can be nice if you know what to do with it.
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I agree with most of what Dr.J posted today. Pretty women do get better treatment and more than likely get married before someone less attractive. A man will put up with more B.S. if the woman good looking.
I'm 33 years old and I have been with some simple pretty women. Now back in the day I would have rolled with it and just put up with it. Would I put up with it now? Hell no! There has to be some substance there to keep my interest. So I will take a solid 6-7 with a great personality and common sense over the 9-10 simple chick any day of the week.
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or you keep looking for the 9-10 with a great personality and common sense
Nah i'm good. If I happen to stumble upon the unicorn you speak of I will definitely put a ring on it lol.
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I do agree that "pretty women" have it easier…generally but pretty women getting married I think is more about area in which you live. There are more than enough very pretty women walking the streets of NY who are single and having quite a bit of trouble even finding a good man to date. Look at ATL as well. Full of beautiful women with amazing figures but so starved for good men that lame dudes are out there winning. Now I don't know how DC's ratios are made up but that could be a big factor in why pretty women (with substance) are getting married faster. But lets not forget that Married =/= Happily Married. Some of those women may be nothing more than trophy pieces. Like that Kordell/Porsha situation. Possibly with an unfaithful husband.
Good point!
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true, that goes along with "you may be a 10 in our hometown, but here your only a 8". Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I know pleanty of women who people may not consiered beautiful across the board.
But of course if you look good it makes it easier to find a partner. I mean how many dating shows do you see where the first thing the do is give some one a new sexy make over.
I rarely comment on blogs but as a " pretty woman" so I'm told by society. When I was in my 20's I thought I was superior and entitled because of my attractive face as I matured and evolved into being a woman of substance I realized that pretty with a a good heart and being is what makes a woman truly "attractive" or "pretty".
pretty girls need to settle for a ugly dude with money, like Beyonce
LOL!
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This is how all black women feel about educated black men. A letter from an educated black woman wanting a thug:
You’ve got the softest touch and when you look at me, I can see love overflowing out of your beautiful, kind eyes. You’re everything and so much more I wanted in a guy, you listen to me ramble nonsensical lyrics while I trash your room with ash everywhere. You pick up my call in the middle of the night with gusto even when I repeat the conversation I’ve had with my best friend for the 354678 time. You never once interrupt me or try to hang up. You listen because I am an insomniac and I have nothing at night to do, except making sure people around me are awake too.
You are everything I ever wanted in a guy, if only I was looking for one. If only my heart was mine to give anymore. If only you were my first boyfriend, I would have made you my last.
You pay for all the dates and hold doors open for me. You even pulled a chair out for me in McD’s and I wish with all my heart that I could love you, but I can’t. When I am with you and you look into my eyes, I don’t see you. I see a version of me that you see and it strokes my vanity. I flatter myself by toying with the amazing person that you are. When you hold the door out for me, I don’t start to believe that chivalry is still alive. I don’t upgrade my thinking of men. I just walk in and tell myself I am worth a guy like this.
It’s wrong I guess, but I am like spilled beans on the ground trying to hold myself up, trying to gather my pieces. Trying to sort my shit out. When you keep your arms around me while we watch Star Wars, I don’t dwell on your warmth or take comfort in your presence. I watch the damn movie and feel a piece of weight lying on me. That’s it.
My brain should shoot my heart heavy bullets but instead I am numb inside. You can’t break an already broken heart. I don’t feel guilty while I nod as you tell me you want to marry me and have a daughter with a nose exactly like mine. I hate my nose and I never plan to get married but I don’t tell you that, because I am busy thinking of him and how I deserved to hear all this piece of crap from him.
When you hold my hand as we cross the road and you push me on the other side so the car hits you first, I don’t see pretty pink hearts clouding my sight. I feel like I have earned this, even when I haven’t.
I don’t feel remorse leading you on, I just feel less bored.
I don’t mean it when I tell you “I love you.” It’s not even in me to love anyone right now.
I feel like my heart has been ripped apart from my chest and somehow I am relying on you to give it back. The irony is that you don’t even know what it feels like to hold my heart in your palm. He knew, a long while ago he held it there and right now it’s scattered somewhere in the love songs he sang to me, the letters he wrote for me, the cupcakes he bought for me. It’s scattered all around his dorm room and patio and ceiling and windows and chocolate wrappers in his dustbin. Every scrap is his. Every piece is his. Every relic is his.
Even when I am in your arms, I am his.
But I won’t tell you that, because if you leave I’ll just miss him more than I do when I’m with you. So I smile at the ice cream you buy for me in your car as you take me for a long drive. I am not even into the pretty roads and lust bushes all around us, I just think of him.
I try to look at you and see only you but instead all I see is eyes that I wish were like his. I don’t do this deliberately and I really really like you, but that’s all I’ll ever do.
The reserve for love is jammed up and you and your overflowing love can’t make it move even an inch. Like I said, you are everything I ever wanted in a guy when I was looking for one, but right now all I am looking for is him and you are not him and so I don’t want you.
I want him. I just want to want you.
I wish I could say I might start loving you sometime but, you see, I have a thing for assholes. I only fall for guys who stomp on my heart and tear it into tiny little pieces and make my life a living hell. And I rebound with nice, adorable, genuinely honest guys like you.
I’ve done this before and I’ll do it again.
I wish I was a better person sometimes, so I wasn’t turning nice guys extinct, so I wasn’t responsible for karma biting me in the ass but it is just beyond my control. I just can’t love someone who loves me and be content with it. I guess that just makes me a girl you should stay away from. I wish it meant we have a future together and that I want a son exactly like you, which by the way I do, just with a different father.
I wish I could tell you that you’re the man for me and mean it, so I can see your cheeks turn pink and a gentle smile kiss your lips but I can’t. I mean, I can say it, but the meaning it part is the bitch here. Plus, when you’ll inevitably smile I’ll only think of him.
THIS.RIGHT.HERE. is why being a "Nice Guy" is FOS sometimes.
Perfect
yep
beautiful people are usually the main ones single because their standards are so high that they can't even match them themselves. also, not-so beautiful people don't have all of the serious character flaws that contribute to the beauty of a person. insecurity, childhood trauma, etc
sherri sheppard and wendy williams are both married. tyra banks and halle berry both single.
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"…standards are so high that they can't even match themselves" that's another topic right there
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I agree for the most part however I reject the fact that being pretty and intelligent/funny/down to earth are mutually exclusive. When discussions like this come up, it's always in the tone that if the woman is pretty she's dumb or has a bad personality by default. It's possible to be both.
I share the same sentiments in this post most definitely. This could spark all sorts of conversations now about why are some of the prettiest women are single and etc. Good stuff
Of course it's easier for pretty women to get married.. When I'm told "you're cute" or "you're beautiful," I'm like, "not really. I would've been married a long time ago if I were." The beautiful do not stay single long, if they're ever single or know what that feels like.
Anybody can get married question is will you stay married?
The Halle berry theory: beautiful women who keep being rejected must be crazy, lame in the sack or a heaux
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That’s only half the issue. I know a lot of beautiful women who make horrible choices in men (ex : Kenya Moore) . Think of the equally beautiful/rich men Halle been with lol Halle doesn’t know the golden rule, get a regular looking guy lol Think of all the beautiful women you know that are married, their not married to super models (not that the men they marry are swamp donkeys either).
Okay, a few comments –
1) You wrote: " In fact, and I’ll argue this to the day I die, a man will put up with a pretty women with a wack sex game before he’ll date a busted women with Uranium poon. It’s a fact." Hhhmmm….I don't know about this one. Although I'm not a man, I don't know any man that doesn't want to be treated right or have great sex. So if the pretty one isn't giving him either of those, he'll just seek it in a woman that's less attractive, no?
2) If pretty woman are has had everything "handed to her" do you think she makes wise decisions in terms of who she chooses to marry? Does she make a better wife? After all, she's never had to work as hard for anything
3) Most men seem to be intimidated by really pretty woman or they assume that we're already taken so a lot of you don't even bother approaching.
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1. Most men would take the woman who looks better to claim in public, ugly pronstar is a fwb or "see where things go"
2. She doesn't but one who marries off appearance is obviously isn't worried about it
3. Here's a secret, most men don't care if she's taken, "other suitors" is the goto when he doesn't. I.e. instamodels who are never wifed
My recent post Today’s Word is… LOVED
an ugly dude with low self esteem in my opinion is more likely to put up with a pretty woman with whack sex game….he probably feels shes the best it will ever get so he holds on as long as possible drama and all…a smart man be it ugly, average or extremely handsome will move around if he understands he can find someone to treat him with the love and respect he deserves. I personally feel if an ugly or average guy has all his bases covered including an awesome career, nice home and an impeccable personality he can still obtain a beautiful lady. Ive seen this before. An ugly guy has a better chance of getting a beautiful woman than an ugly woman getting a handsome man.
No shade, but I still don't think John Legend's wife is THAT pretty. (._.)
Meh…maybe cuz she's a model she gets the term…MO
She's iight
My recent post Today’s Word is… LOVED
To an extent, yes. When you consider how many men do aspire to have trophy wives and value looks over everything then a young attractive woman does have better odds.
My recent post Today’s Word is… LOVED
Yes they do unfortunately because a lot of dudes like style over substance. Do you realize how many pretty women can get away with stuff just because they're that?
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Interesting, I tend to think the opposite is true. I know more pretty women that are single vs. pretty women that are married. This is likely because beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I thought across the border, race-wise, etc that Halle is gorge! However, I've heard some men think of her as average or nothing to write home about.
Pretty women do tend to be more insecure, and being pretty is often a gift and a curse. Many men will not approach extremely good looking women for whatever reason. Also, as someone else stated, pretty women tend to have higher standards physically and may be more selective, maybe too selective. But, the bottom line is there will always be someone prettier than you, so to pass someone up because he is not physically up to par is unwise.
Lastly, pretty women have been told they're pretty their entire lives typically to the point where being pretty becomes more of a nuisance than a benefit.
I would consider myself pretty have been told by many people and I'm super single I guess I'm picky but anyway I'm moving to DC soon lol.
Sooo based on the articles out of bus load of women only two or three women can even hope to get married based on physical beauty? Which tends to imply that only ugly or non-pretty women are single and destined to be single? To an extent I must agree. Regardless of being told I was attractive, I always figured if it was like that I wouldn't be single. Name of the game.
Wow…i've never read something so false. Like someone mentioned, it most depend on where in the country where your living b/c I know of too many women who are single. If the woman is gorgeous AND educated, that type of woman isn't going to wanna settle for the average joe who is a construction worker.
In NYC, I know of too many women that are beautiful and are having a hard time finding somebody. Atlanta I hear the same thing. I live in NYC, but funny enough I was thinking about moving for this very reason. Sue me!
The ratio in DC is in woman’s favor. Yes, move.
I don’t know about most guys here but a pretty woman is super common here in NYC. Like no man, who has his stuff together, will marry a woman just cause she look good. We call them type of dudes SIMPS.
I find that between instagram and all types of thirst-heavy mediums, now more than ever I am attracted to them busy natural sexy non video girl types. I been with an actual c level actress and boy did I get tired of her after I got all the sex I wanted. Beat it.
It’s possible for a woman to be both highly attractive and intelligent. But for us guys who know the OVERALL ratio, yawn. Gimme a woman that’s funny and smart with a decent face and a sexy body anyday.
There’s a reason half the housewives and reality heauxs are single. Well I shouldn’t call them that, but I am really not into glorifying side pieces.