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10 Secrets To Showing Him You Love Him



Over the past few days I have been asking for someone to indicate to me the types of things that women must do in order to make a relationship work and keep their man happy. While the initial person never responded, Young Belizean Lady helped give me a little insight over at her blog. I decided I would take a crack at answering the question myself. So here are ten ideas for how to show your man you appreciate him…or love him. Word choice is up to you.

10. Make him his favorite meal
There is nothing like a home cooked meal. When your woman actually knows your favorite meal, and takes the time to prepare it (from scratch for full points). It shows you know him, shows you care, and also gives him a home cooked meal. If you cook on a regular, than you need to take the extra mile to make it special.

9. Buy some new lingerie and wear it for him (preceding sex)
If your man loves your body (which he should if he is with you) … then he will love this. Key thing though … you must have sex with him afterward (in case you didn’t know). Also, wear something your confident in and makes you feel sexy, you being self conscious is not sexy!

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8. Don’t ask “How was your day?” … give him personal time
Yes, you want him to ask you this, and you want to spend hours talking about this while he is watching his favorite show, but resist the urge. Actively let him know that you want to give him some time for himself. Even set it up for him. Grab him a beer, record his favorite show, and just leave him alone.

7. Give him a BJ while he is driving
A BJ on its own would show your love, but it should happen enough that he wouldn’t think too much of it. Every guy wants to get head while driving a car (well I don’t know a guy who doesn’t), but its a rarity and often difficult to negotiate. Your willingness to do something he really wants, personally expose yourself, and just give him some surprise head will make his day.

6. Clean his house/room/apartment

Again, nothing special for a lot of people, but for some … its such a beautiful gesture. When I was in college, my girlfriend, at the time, cleaned up my horrendous bedroom while I was at work as a surprise for me … I almost cried. If your man is a clean person, this won’t work … he must be a slob.

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5. Give him a full body massage … then have sex
Here, the sex is important. Set the mood (nice dinner would help), set it up by telling him he needs some attention and too relax, give him a good massage with massage oil, and then f*ck him like he is going away to war. The attention will be great, but the hot sex is like icing on the cake.

4. Do the freaky thing he has been asking for
Maybe he wants to explore a new orifice, maybe he wants some deep throat … but I’m not going to sully this post with more examples … you know what he likes!

3. Pay for something … Anything
Treat him to dinner, pick up the tab next time you get drinks, knock out a light bill … whatever. When a woman pays for something it shows that she is committed to the permanence of whatever you two have. It also will help reassure him that your not out for his money.

2. Buy him a very personal gift
Show him that you really listen to him and get him something he wants and will love. If he has a hobby (especially if you hate it) buy him something to foster it. If he is a sneaker fiend, get him something exclusive shoes in his size. If he is into clothes, get him that hard to find shirt. Just do something that shows effort and deep thought. No flowers, or boxers that you like, or anything that you will enjoy. Its about him.

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1. Fulfill his fantasy
Every guy has some fantasy that borders on the edge of illegal. If he hasn’t told you, good bet it involves another woman. Do whatever you need to … hire a midget, buy those gerbils, call the escort service, call in that favor from the guy you know with the key to the roof of your office … just make it happen. He will forever remember you … even after you break his heart.

If you didn’t notice, a lot of these revolve around sex … because guys like sex. If he is still with you, there is a good chance he is getting sex. Make it special to make him feel good.

Hopefully this will give certain people some tips, pointers, and ideas on how to make him feel good for a change.

This post was originally published in March 2008.


  1. I love the list. But for me personally all a woman needs to do to show me she loves me is to be herself and let me be myself. I won't try to change you and vise versa. Of course there are going to be things that need to be tweaked…but for the most part accept me for who I am. You do that then the sky is the limit 🙂
    My recent post Thursday’s Thoughts

  2. While I appreciate the list, I don't look at this as a checklist that must be filled. I prefer a woman who has an open mind to consider these things. My ex made the impression she did because she was open to doing most of these, and it wasn't a barter/negotiation thing. She just did them which inspired me to try to make her happy. Too many times today we play the "I won't until they…" game, that's cool for preventing and protecting, but you miss out on true connections that way. We've turned dating into corporate practices, looks good on paper, but how's that working with the divorce rate etc.?

  3. Wow, I love the list. I wish my girlfriend comes across this list cause I want her to do the things you explained in the list above. Thanks for sharing, i need to know the secrets to show a girl you love her. Please post on that.
    My recent post The Kind of man a woman needs

  4. I'm Reading the List and Thinking … Really?

    Guess I've Been Fortunate in Relationships. Then Again Maybe I Attract What I Am. I'm Something of a Giver But Not a Push Over. I Like to Spoil 'My' Woman and ,Oddly Enough, They Spoil Me Back. I've Never Had a Relationship Where 'She' Didn't (also) Pay for Dinners or Trips or a 'Just Because' Gift (on her own). I Do What I Expect to Have Done. And This Thing About; Not Telling Her What to Do. I Can't Tell Her What I Want or Expect? GTFOH With That. That's For Little Boys. I'm a Grown Ashe Man. As Much As Possible: This an E-q-u-a-l Relationship. Tell Me What You Want or Need. I Do the Same. Any Thing Less is Game Playing. I Treasure and Value My Woman But I Refuse to Put Her on a Pedestal. "That's Too Far For Anybody to Have to Fall". Woman Are (as are we) Human After All. Expectations Have to be Realistic and … Expressed.

    Sexually I Found That If a Man Goes 'All Out' to Get Her Where She Wants to Go: Nothing is Refused … At Least Once (between-you-2). It's All About Being I-n-t-o Her. If She Can 'Trust You' With What Goes On Between You 2 And She's Getting 'Hooked Up' Like She Wants: Everything On This List and A lot More Will Happen On It's Own. Like Chris Rock Said: "Your Woman is Freakier That You Can Ever Imagine". If She's Not Being So With You; A Man Has Got Some Work to Do.

    Just My Opinion …


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