Home Featured Married Man Talk: What I Hate About Being Married

Married Man Talk: What I Hate About Being Married

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black-man-angry

Before you read the title and get confused, I love being married.

I mean I really really love being married.

I could easily spend the rest of the post talking about how nice it is to always have someone to go to the movies with, how I still look forward to coming home and seeing her face, or how nice it is to have someone in your corner… but I’m not. That’s for another post, another day.

Today, I want to share with you the one facet of marriage that pains me. It’s something that I can never truly get away from and I have learned to bear. It’s annoying, but I  don’t see it ever going away. A small price to pay for the happiness I get, but still a price. What am I talking about?

Hating on “The Married Guy”

Now, SBM (you can call me Sean), is not soft. There has always been hating and good ol’ “going in” all throughout life. Men crack on each other. It’s what we do. But being the “married guy” is apparently some magical thing that can be thrown out there no matter the conversation. To get a better idea of what I mean, look at these (near) real-life examples.

Sean: Yo, let’s go to the lounge downtown instead of the other spot we talked about. Joint downtown is supposed to be straight.
Male Friend #1: Man, you can’t choose where we go with your married ass. We’ll ask you when we need to know which Bed, Bath & Beyond to hit up!

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Sean: (*over text*) What’s good for tonight?
Male Friend #2: (*over text*) For US … the turn up. For YOU … enjoy that HGTV House Hunter’s Marathon.

Sean: It’s cold out here.
Male Friend #3: These married motherf***ers always talking about it’s cold. Go snuggle up with you wife with your old married ass.

And it’s not just men …

Sean: (*at 1130pm at a bar*) Yeah, I think I’m gonna head home. I’ve got meetings tomorrow.
Female Coworker #1: Is that what it’s like to be married? Leaving your friends all early.
Sean: Half the people are already gone …
Female Coworker #1: Whatever you say. Go home and massage her feet!

That’s just a taste. Doesn’t matter if it’s about going out, what life on the West Coast is like, or my views on universal healthcare, I’ve never felt so much discrimination in my life (and I’m a black man in America). Some people have live-in girlfriends and have been in relationships longer than me … but doesn’t matter. This ring on my finger has put a target on my forehead.

Now, don’t think Sean can’t take a good joke. I’ve been “going in” since I was 5 (one of the kids in my pre-kindergarten class had on some old dusty looking Asics) so I can take it … but damn. At least try and be original. My jokes were never this lazy.

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So, I leave all you with a simple ask … be funny, at least.

Sure, it’s easy to say “old married ass” at the end of a sentence and get a few laughs, but you also run the risk of getting punched in the throat. Might be your first joke of the week, but it’s the 328th for me.  If I walk over asking about “the turn up for tonight”, feel free to point out my regular date night at the movies. But, if I’m talking about where to get Chinese food … calm down.

SBM Family, what’s your thought on the subject?

– Sean “SBM” Blackman aka The Married Guy aka Writing Down Names for When The Table Turns!

Comment(22)

    1. exactly! I'm not saying dismiss your single friends but hell you can spend less time with them. No need to be around people who are making you feel bad about marriage that's silly.

    2. Agreed.

      But at the same time, it's immensely tougher to keep a regular set of married friends due to a number of reasons….especially as you get older. As a married guy, my single friends have basically stopped inviting me out & very rarely come over to just "hang" anymore. And when single friends have gotten married, they really disappear.

  1. Married women hate it too!!! esp if you're the only one married of all your friends smh it's the worst!!! It's gotten to the point where they don't even consider me for an outing anymore it's always "you're married" or you're busy anyways le sigh but hey I enjoy being married too much to care lololol I know it's all love at the end of each joke……I guess :/ cheers to us young happy married folks who can't "hang" anymore lol

  2. Hanging with married people sucks. They talk marriage and family. Guys can’t cut loose in conversation because wives are checking for code words. And married dudes get annoying acting if they still got game when just hanging out. Single people think just because they’re single they have more game, style, etc.. That sh*t get old quick. If I wanted to hang a couple of times of week with your ass, I wouldn’t have gotten married.

    1. So, you don't hang out with LAME married folks, lol. Not all married men act like that.

      When I was married and hung with married couples, at some point in the evening, the guys all ended up in the basement and the ladies hung upstairs in the den…or the guys were on the deck while the ladies were in the AC, etc. When we wanted mixed convo, we had it. When the guys were done with it, they trickled out of the area, lol. We were all young couples (I've been divorced for 6yrs…and I'm 32) and there were 5 couples. The guys acted nothing like you're describing. We talked about all kinds of things, had tv show marathons, game nights, dinners, etc. We had a ball. Now, most of the guys were close friends already…that helped, I'm sure.

      1. Sounds like a swingers club (kidding). The fellas in the basement, thats just faux hangout time, gives the feeling of being without the wife and chilling with the fellas. I bet they was in that basement whispering. The games nights, dinners, etc. that is from the other post, Expectations of Marriage. Expect to suck it up and go with it. I been married for a minute done all that, hanging wiith married folks can just be as acidic to your marriage as single people. After a while their problems become your problems.

        1. "…hanging wiith married folks can just be as acidic to your marriage as single people. After a while their problems become your problems"

          I will cop to that, lol. That def happens so you have to learn when to speak up and when to mind your business. But, I'm telling you…the guys in my married group were close (4 in particular) prior to anyone getting married. So, it wasn't forced man fun, lol. They were in the basement playing Halo on multiple tvs, LOLOL…not thinking about us. i can see what you described being true for couples who are kinda pressured to make nice with couples they don't really know. I'm glad that wasn't my story, lol…

        2. There were 5 couples and one additional female friend whose husband never came. So, let's go with 5 1/2 couples, lol. Two are divorced (myself and the half of a couple). One is in the midst of a separation. This is not cause we hung out though…no catty couple fighting or anything. There were private issues mainly cause we all married fairly young (under 25). So, 3 couples are still very much married.

          Because we're all actually friends, the guys still hang on their own and so do the ladies. We're all together for major events (kids parties and events at the 3 still married couples houses) though…and support each other when necessary. And, I still talk to the guys on my own whenever I need to (advice, etc.).

          …6 years later. 🙂

        3. I'm from a four couple group, everybody still married. Just 9 extramarital affairs(that I know of); two trial seperations and a fist fight. We all still speak from a distance. We all got married young, but couldn't handle one acidic marriage. Glad your group is still somewhat in tact. Thanks for letting me vent.

      2. Hanging out with other married couples can be cool. But after awhile, it becomes robotic. Yes it is nice have a set of friends that would stop through, have drinks, watch movies, talk about whatever.

        What's usually missing is the "girls/guys night out". Of the numerous couples I know & hang with, the guys never suggest meeting up for happy hour or somewhere later at night. And it's like "pulling teeth" to get them to be cool and consider it.

        On the flip, the women will occasionally meet for happy hour somewhere or go out on a Sat night. They tend to have more fun & stay out as long as they want.

        If I want to go out, it's most-likely a solo venture in hopes I see some people I know.

  3. I do not know how close to real life that last scenario is, but why would you be at a bar at 11:30 PM with a female coworker and your wife is not around? I am not saying there is not a good reason for it but on the surface, it is not the best of looks.

  4. Anyone, who is talking smack about being married obviously didn't handle business from the get go. If you are a pandering simp to your woman from start without compromising anything then that's on you. You should not be subjected to do any and everything she likes, the word is…wait for it….compromise. Or if you all aren't going to acquiesce to one another at the very least meet each other halfway, hence compromising. When you compromise you're able to go out with the fellas one friday and the next friday she can have a ladies night…it's that easy, or it should be. Also if anyone has such qualms about getting married you should have taken the time to really know your other before you crossed that threshold. Now marriages aren't for everyone and you will have your share of problems but in the end it should be a bountiful blessing.
    My recent post The 5 Benefits Of Becoming Friends Before Lovers

  5. Cortonio, say it again "marriages aren't for everyone" I think when people stop trying to make their lives mirror and fit what others say they should be, they will be much more happier….and free.

  6. I had the same issue, but I think it improves with age. You change-hopefully. And then be clear as to what you won't tolerate. Have a good time.

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