It’s no secret that men and women lie in relationships. Hell, humans lie constantly (whether it’s to themselves or to other people). Men will usually tell these “little white lies” in order to avoid any headaches of a long, drawn out conversation, or to save a woman form the impact that his words might cause. Whether you agree or not, this is a fact. I won’t go into the reasons why women lie because I don’t have time to write that novel (YET). I saw some common fibs men tell reading an article on MSN. Since I am a man and I have experience with truth fabrication theory, I’ll speak for my gender here and provide some insight into this topic. I picked out the 5 lies men tell women that I liked most to discuss further:
Lie # 10: “I’m Stuck in Traffic”“He figures it’s much easier to just say this than to try to explain the real reason he’s running late,” says John Amodeo, author of The Authentic Heart. “Remember, men aren’t as good at communicating as women are.” The funny thing is, a guy will toss this line out even if what held him up is perfectly legitimate. Still, you shouldn’t let it slide — it’s a lie nonetheless.
People lie about their whereabouts early and often. Men do this because we don’t want to be reminded that we “should’ve left 30 minutes ago” to be on time. Yes, we can be punctual for other things but will lie through our teeth when we casually ignore timetables. Also, I believe that there’s a subconscious pettiness in men that will show up late for a woman because women hold us up getting ready for ANY event ALL THE TIME! If it takes you 90 minutes to get ready, why not get ready 2 hours in advance? If you know you’re going to be ready by 8, why tell us you’ll be ready at 7 and have us waiting an hour for you to come out the house?! The tardiness is both reflexive and unnecessary.
Lie # 9: “It Wasn’t That Expensive”
“Men like toys, and they don’t like sensing your disapproval, even if you don’t share a bank account,” Amodeo says. He could also be dropping this fib to try to prove he’s responsible with money, says Barton Goldsmith, author of Emotional Fitness for Intimacy. “He doesn’t want you to think that if you do share funds down the line, he’s going to blow them all on things like plasma TVs.”
I guess the quote above could be true for married couples that share a joint bank account. It’s pretty difficult to swindle that when bank receipts and online statements can tell on you. This is more evident to me when you buy a woman a gift or pay for dinner. I never like a woman I take out to eat to look at the bill. I believe a certain mystery should be maintained. Plus I’d rather her not be concerned about what the meal or gift costs. I can afford it and that’s that. Plus, we don’t want our dates going on Twitter proclaiming that they got a $200 date…
Lie # 6: “Sorry, I Missed Your Call,”
Lie # 5: “My Battery Died,” and
Lie # 4: “I Had No Signal”
These three lines all mean the same thing: I screened your call. Why? “Often men will feed you these lies because they’re afraid to tell you to back off a bit, that they need a little alone time,” Amodeo says. You might want to ease up on the checking in and let him miss you more.
Sometimes we cannot talk. We might be legit busy, in the middle of something, or just need a moment before we talk to you. Often, this backfires on us because you’ll then search our social media to determine whether “we have time to get those Twitter jokes off and like comments on Facebook but can’t answer your call”. Other forms of controlled contact are easier than phone calls (Gchat, email, text, etc.) and talking on the phone in certain situations isn’t conducive to a man’s current situation. It’s just easier if you don’t know that the curve was intentional.
Lie # 3: “No, Your Butt Doesn’t Look Big in That”
Look, if you assail him with the question in the first place, you’re really just asking to be thrown this all-purpose mollifier. “Every guy has a buddy who’s told him, ‘I answered this question wrong once, and my girlfriend wouldn’t have sex with me for a year,’ ” Goldsmith says. This is the one safe response he knows, so there’s no way he’s going to risk the worst by straying from it. If you want an honest opinion, go ask one of your girls instead.
I think they covered it well on this point, but I would disagree with this tactic. When you date someone, you shouldn’t aspire to be content with how you look if it is subpar from when you first met. When you’re dating you want to put your best foot forward. You go to the gym, dress nice, and make sure you’re at your best. Men will want women to be on their game (albeit unrealistically) 24/7. When men can hold themselves accountable too, they will realize that whether women like it or not, we have to be honest when they ask these questions, so that they don’t look crazy in the street. The WAY in which you answer this determines the impact. If you’re a dick about it and super blunt with no consideration for her feelings, you deserve the backlash. Sometimes backlash comes regardless, so I would always err on the side of comforting but honest commentary.
Lie # 1: “Nothing’s Wrong, I’m Fine”
A whopping 52 per cent of men have told their girlfriend this line. According to experts, this go-to fib is all about avoiding drama and protecting male pride. Men know they’re not as good with articulating what’s happening or how they’re feeling, so it’s easier for them to just keep you out of the situation. Next time he uses this line, give him a couple days and then ask him again if he is still bummed…and why. By then he may have figured things out.
This is something men say in general. We don’t want to appear weak so we will deflect with this line. Other times, we will say that because if the annoyance is minute, and we know we will get over it easily, we won’t want to discuss it at all. Women love discussing emotions and how they feel because that’s how they’re wired. Men can get over little things, but will discuss major issues. It isn’t a slight on you, it’s just that talking about little issues can make us angrier than we want to be and we’d rather get over it on our own.
The overarching theme here is “communication”. We tell these white lies but when they occur in abundance it highlights a bigger issue with the level of comfort you have discussing topics with the woman you’re dating. Try not to find easy outs, especially if small problems will become major.
Good list MSN. You guys got any more?