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Stalking Stories: I See You, But You Don’t See Me…

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Credit: Sheena LaShay
Photo Credit: Sheena LaShay

 

I’ve joked in the past about stalking a guy’s life because I was interested in him. Let’s say our first date goes really well and my excitement leads me to want more information. In turn I may do a little harmless Google search. But really, I don’t have it in me to impose myself on someone in the physical sense. Let alone do creepy or potentially unwanted things to gain their attention. Okay, I’ll just say it. I don’t think that my pride will allow it.

But some people have no shame. They can’t be stopped.

Now let me scale back on the dramatics. I wasn’t in fear for my life, but the actions of one select individual did cause me to raise an eyebrow. I’ll run this by you and see if you share my sentiment.

His initial approach to asking me out was pretty traditional. Nothing alarming. We met at a lounge after work in Midtown Manhattan. He sparked up conversation and he seemed nice enough so I accepted the invitation for a date. I’m open to new prospects. Fast forward to post first date. I’d decided that I wasn’t exactly smitten with him so I didn’t make any extra effort to connect with said man. He didn’t do anything specifically wrong or off-putting. The chemistry just failed to pop up from my perspective. I hadn’t exactly excluded him but he wasn’t really on my radar either.

Back to post date, about a week later I’d just walked into my neighborhood bar to meet a girlfriend for a drink when I received a text from him. He asked where I was going? Then he said, “I just saw you.” I looked around for a second, puzzled. I knew that I didn’t see any familiar faces on my walk down the street so I was a little confused. I responded very simply that I was meeting a friend. Once I spotted my girl, I put my phone away and continued to sip and chat with my friend.

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About 45 minutes later I checked my phone again. Another text. This one said, “Come say hi, I see you.” I’m thinking WTF! I don’t see you. I scanned the room super quick, nothing. No sign of him. A slight panic started to set in and I wanted to slump down on my barstool. It’s no secret that I watch way too many crime drama shows. I’m well-aware that people can be cray and you can’t underestimate them. My girl was giving me the side-eye clueless as to what I was looking at. I hadn’t mentioned the first text to her because I thought nothing of it. After filling her in I showed my girl the text and her eyes got big.  Then she asked me where he was…like I knew! That was the unsettling part.

I don’t like childish moves so my panic quickly turned into an annoyed chick ready to flash. After 10 minutes of uncertainty on my end, this strange bird (that I went on a date with) comes strolling over to my girlfriend and I smiling. I wasn’t amused. He extended his hand to introduce himself to her immediately. For some reason, he gave off an air of importance, like he and I really had something going on. I gave him the driest interaction that I could conjure up. I wanted to pop him in the head like a little brother who played a bad prank. Maybe he didn’t have any friends tell him that women don’t like men that act creepy. But that wasn’t my problem.

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There wasn’t much small talk to be had with him, so after the awkward exchange concluded he went back to wherever it was that he came from. At that point I had no desire to ever hear from him again. I was over it.

I know, I know. Some of you are thinking “Well, you should’ve told him that you were no longer interested,” but honestly my cowardly side came into play and I wanted to avoid the entire situation — mainly him. Not to mention, I didn’t know what type of result I would get by reaching out to him to put an end to things. That may have garnered another creepy interaction.

Skip to three weeks later. I receive another random text. He says hello and asks how I’m doing? I responded with one word, “Hey.”

He goes on to say, “I just saw you earlier…”

First off that makes no sense. I detect lies. Did you just see me? Or did you see me earlier? Sounds suspect. He went on to rundown what I was doing when he saw me and I couldn’t help but get annoyed again. So how did you see me well enough to know exactly what I was doing but you did not announce yourself and make your presence known. That’s strange to me. Especially if you in turn text me after and make me aware that you saw me.

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I’m not an expert on stalking. I’ve never had anyone close to me endure a true stalker situation so I’m not sure how things start out, but the coincidences were too strange for my comfort level. Maybe he is not the “sneak into your apartment and hide in the closet waiting for you” type. I don’t know, but I’m just thinking that maybe he and his actions are a bit too strange for my taste.

Have you ever had the feeling that you were being stalked? Am I losing it or does this situation have the makings of stalker-like tendencies?

xoxo

Ahyiana Angel

About the Author: Ahyiana Angel is a Cali girl who has turned the Manhattan streets into her playground. This sassy storyteller—a former sports entertainment publicist at the National Basketball Association (NBA)—is anticipating the release of her first novel about dating in New York, coveted careers, complicated relationships, and ultimate deception. Angel is the creator of the salacious and popular blog Life According to Her. It’s contrived like reality TV, fictionalized for fun (also to protect the innocent), and sensationalized for your entertainment.

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Comment(26)

  1. "creepy" is a word women only use to describe men who they have no attraction for. If that same behavior came from a man who's peen she wanted to ride, this would be a story about a playful, flirty romance.

    its not who you are, or what you do. its how you make her feel.

      1. Agree. Even if a woman likes a guy, there are limits. He was putting up red flags early, so she dropped him. He seems like the type of guy that if you go out with your girls, and you tell him where you’re going, he'll show up at the same spot by accident (cough cough). Bug a Boo as Beyonce would say.

      1. Tristan, it's not about what you do but how you do it. If he saw her in the resturant/bar he shoudl have walked up to her or sent her a drink, not text her "I See you" then hide for 45 min.

    1. Disagree. It's how you do what you do. Had his actions been slightly different maybe I would have thought that we just kept crossing paths. But no sir, that was probably a combination of immaturity and cluelessness.

      I forgot to mention in the story that he told me on the date that he could be intense when he was into someone. That was probably in the back of my mind when all of this was going down.
      My recent post Stalking Stories: I See You, But You Don’t See Me…

    2. I agree with 12 point actually. This would have been flattering had she been into the guy.

      Also, I don't know if it's because this reads like child's play compared to the stalking I once endured, but he didn't really do anything that frightening.

      He only "ran into her" twice, once to be exact and the other time, maybe he was just trying to find a reason to reach out to her because he liked her, but could sense that she didn't completely feel the same way.

  2. Lol he was a strange fellow. Not sure he was stalking you on some American psycho status, I feel like maybe he though he was being flirty but it just came off creepy. Hopefully he got the picture after that last text conversation.

  3. That was a strange story. He should have gotten the hint that you weren't interested the first time…since he didn't it's up to you to let it be known that your interest level is at zero. You live and your learn 🙂

    I once had a stalker. I was 21 and just got out of a relationship so I was feeling down and wanted some comfort. So I meet this one girl and we set it up that we go and chill at her crib. I go over there, engage her, have some laughs and burn out. Keep in mind there was no sex or anything like that…just cool people. Well at that time I didn't have a car so I relied on public transportation to get me around….so fast forward a week……we are chillin at her spot and it was getting late……she offered to give me a ride home. Not thinking anything of it I accepted. So she drives me home and thanked her for the ride. After about a week or so I stopped going over there to see her because I just wasn't feeling the situation anymore. Soon after I would be leaving my place and see a car that looked like hers creeping around the parking lot where I lived. She kept calling and I ignored her calls hoping she would get the point. Then one day I was walking down the street when she pulls up next to me and says "hi". I'm like W.T.F.!!!!!! She says she was riding though and saw me and wanted to say "hi".

    The moral of the story is….never let someone you hardly know find out where you live 🙂
    My recent post Tuesday Morning

  4. Yeah… I'm definitely on the fence with this one only because there are times when you keep running into a person if your paths cross often prior to meeting one another. I've had this situation twice in my life. Once in my old neighborhood, I kept seeing this girl over and over again and then when I realized that not only did she live in my neighborhood but she also went to my college, I was like, well let me just say hello. Then once more in DC it happened in a similar fashion. Like if you live in NYC and you frequent like Harlem, you'll run into the same people all the time. Same with any neighborhood. If you were moving about the whole city and various boroughs then I could see it but i'm on the fence with this one. Now also I agree that if you were interested in this guy, you would have thought it was like the writings on the wall.

    1. Yeah, I'll give you the oh we just bumped into each other situation. That has happened to me before. Matter of fact it just happened last week with a guy that I was supposed to go out with later that evening. But you most times it seems genuine. You both are surprised. Interested or not, it was the way that he did things that did not sit right with me.
      My recent post Stalking Stories: I See You, But You Don’t See Me…

  5. 1) she decided she was not interested – cool. life goes on.

    2) his actions were…interesting. a buddy just had the same thing happen to him with this woman he had recently met – this situation popped up like 3 times – really?

    3) running across somebody's path is one thing….cowering in a corner sending freddy kreuger-type messages of "I see you…I see you… I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER" really? FOR REAL?

    ****CRACKING UP****

    this shit is just hilarious, I'm sorry for laffing.

  6. All could have been averted if she would have told dude she wasn't interested.

    People aren't obligated to tell others that they aren't interested, but with that comes the consequence of potential awkward interactions afterwards, which this falls into the realm of.

    When I was younger, I cut women off after 1 or 2 dates, and a few blew my phone up until they got the message. Never was I like "OMG, she's so creepy, Why does she keep calling me". I knew shorty was feeling me and I wasn't feeling her back. So I learned that I need to tell a female that I'm not interested the moment I know it. That gives her closure so she can move on to the next option.

    If people are afraid to say no to someone, this is what you get. Stalkerish or not. He may have crossed the line, but so what, he wasn't going to smash regardless.

  7. From a chick, I feel like the OP is overreacting with the stalking bit. I agree with 12 Pt this probably would have been received better if the OP returned the sentiment but I see nothing wrong with sending a text saying I just saw you where you goin? Probably trying to work his way in. While I don't see the harm in sending the text I wouldn't do it myself because people are quick to misconstrue and wouldn't stop to give you the benefit of the doubt. If a guy did it to me (whether I liked him or not) I wouldn't panic or be turned off.but that's just me.

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