Home Entertainment Mr. Cee and Black Male Sexuality

Mr. Cee and Black Male Sexuality

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It’s been some time since DJ Mr. Cee began to open up more about his sexuality. Not that it was anyone’s business anyway, but he was engaging in “illegal” activities; in particular, soliciting transgender prostitutes for fellatio. That is the only reason his activities were made public. He could’ve been a little bit more discreet about it, but he didn’t take Jenna Shae’s words seriously when she said, “You’re not paying me for sex. You’re paying me to keep my mouth shut.” If he had been discreet there is a good question, we would not have heard his comments or even known about how he was spending an occasional late night.

Just like the taboo and stigma that surrounds people living with HIV/AIDS, there is also a looming taboo and stigma that shrouds sexuality for many people. We have used or heard labels such as heterosexual, homosexual, gay, straight, lesbian, questioning, transgender, and bi-sexual. There’s a good chance I missed something, but I digress. Sexuality is not black and white, but a long spectrum where individuals find their space to be authentic and free.

In the case of Mr. Cee I believe he’s being genuine in that he is attracted to women and is married with children, but finds some pleasure in receiving fellatio from transgender men. That may not be how you or I find pleasure, but that’s who he is. Growth comes when you first seek to understand as opposed to being understood as Lauryn Hill said years ago. Everyone is entitled to his or her opinion as Chris Broussard shared his in regards to Jason Collins. It is always different when it hits home. Like Dr. J stated, “Women are so supportive of a man coming out of the closet until it’s their boyfriend/husband.

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Mr. Cee is not quite like Paul, who is married to a woman and refers to himself as “results-oriented”. When asked about his sexuality he never quite described himself as being “bi-sexual”, but I might have to agree with the following statement from theFrisky article, “I often wonder, though, if part of his hesitation in claiming the sexual descriptor that I’ve used to describe myself for the last five years has to do with the reality that coming out as a bisexual man is much, much harder than coming out as a bisexual woman.”

When I think of this story and reminisce on his radio interviews, I see someone is dealing with a lot. But just like Paul he is not interested in having an intimate, emotional relationship with another man, but enjoys a “results-oriented” lifestyle where he gets what he wants. Everyone is trying to put him in a box and label him, which is never the solution. It also doesn’t come from a place of compassion and understanding. There’s more to the story, though, I am sure of it, because Mr. Cee hesitates a lot. In our hesitations lies the internal battle where we decide whether or not to be true, no matter what the cost. I just hope along the sexuality spectrum I believe exists in this world he finds his space to be authentic and free.

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Is sexuality in your opinion only black & white (i.e. either straight or gay)? Is Mr. Cee still hiding something, if so, what do you think?

Comment(10)

  1. " but finds some pleasure in receiving fellatio from transgender men"

    He engages with trans women, not trans men. Just an important correction worth noting.

    I think this speaks to part of the issue… many of "us" don't always get it right. Not even sure we can get anything 100% "right", but knowing the difference between a trans man and trans woman is helpful when addressing this topic.

    Being trans* isn't a sexual orientation like homosexual or heterosexual. It is a gender identity, one of many that people use in their own self-expression. Trans* people can be homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual/pansexual, whatever sexual, honestly.

    "But just like Paul he is not interested in having an intimate, emotional relationship with another man"

    Right, because he is attracted to trans women, not men. Like MANY brothers (who will never ever ever admit it), he has a taste for trans women who were born male, and now identify as trans women and present in "feminine" ways (whatever that means). And when I say MANY… I mean a shitload. Trans women of color are subjected to higher incidences of violence because of men seeking to suppress their voices from "outing" them or who can't reconcile their own desires. But trust me, the brothers are out there, loving trans women all up and in every which way.

    The refusal to accept that trans women are not "men" is ultimately the problem, and one I doubt our community will ever get over in our lifetime. Or the next.

    Should we accept everyone as they are? Yes, of course. Will we? Absolutely not. Not as long as people feel oppressed and feel the need to flex power and rank higher on the ladder than someone else. "Masculinity" is subjective and problematic, in that accepting there is one set of rules to being a "man" limits the manifestation of "manhood" in so many. Yet, we continue to measure men's worth by these arbitrary indicators of so-called "masculinity". I think that's a big part of an unfortunate, lingering problem.

    Thanks for at least raising the issue.

    1. Thank you so much for the feedback! I really appreciate it. It's all about having the conversation, so we push each other forward in this world. No one will ever get anything 100% right. I didn't expect to get everything right in this point, and I didn't.

      I do believe in our lifetime communities will accept trans-women and trans-men just for who they are. The power of love is much stronger than people would like to believe. Man, woman, trans-woman, trans-man, etc…we are all human beings and have the capacity to love.

      Thank you for pushing the conversation forward.

  2. Sexuality sure isn't black and white for everyone. There's so many discussions that could come out of a post like this. It's damn near complicated I guess. Ultimately Mr.Cee can do what he does. The issue here is us trying to wrap our heads around it…no pun intended. We should try to understand in order to be less ingorant if we care to be. If not we should ignore this this situation all together. I hope he finds peace either way, it's a hard way to live.

  3. I don’t think sexuality is black and white for everyone. I think things vary, I also think sexuality varies in certain areas for men and women. Most men who consider themselves straight will not date/ or sleep with someone who was born male (from what I’ve seen), so from that stand point I can see why he may have not said anything about it or every identified under any label. I know as a straight woman I wouldn’t want to sleep with someone born female who is now identifies as male. I mean if you get caught having sexual relations with someone of the same sex weather they were simply just born that sex and don’t identify as it, I think you start to fall into the gray area. (I definitely think there are spaces between gay, bi and straight)

    I think we have to stop associating sex and masculinity; manhood shouldn’t be based on who you decide to sleep with. As far as hip hop goes, I was listening to a Lox interview (with jada and styles) where Angela asked is hip hop/rap ready for a Gay rapper, ad both of them said “yes or at least they felt it will happen soon and it wasn’t something to shy away from).

    1. I agree that we need to stop associating sex and masculinity, nor should manhood be based on who you decide to sleep with.

      I see a new generation of men pushing manhood and masculinity outside of the box this world has kept it in for far too long.

  4. There's so much to this post and the situation of Sexual Orientation, as well as Sexual Identity that while Very Few will want to discuss this, Even Fewer will Agree to Disagree and Accept it.__People can't even admit and accept there are actually Bisexual Men- you think they will accept Transgender Women???? I Myself have zero problems with Homosexuals, Bisexuals OR Transgender People. The same way Anyone may dislike Overly Done PDA or Actions/Behavior in General, folks are more ANNOYED at Anyone- Hetero, Homo, Bi, or Trans- that decide to express themselves (and their Partners) beyond what others would call "privacy".__While Some will say it's "flexing power" or choose to go Typical Talking Points as saying Masculinity is "problematic", there is Gray in the Confusion and Misunderstanding overall. There are Women who ALSO have problems and ill perceptions of Transgendered Women , Transgendered Men and Bisexual Men

    1. Plus; add the fact that folks Can't Agree to Disagree on Traditional Values vs. Modern Ways to deal with Relationships and the Courtship/Dating steps that go with it and like I said in my first sentence, It's Too Much to dive into without going off track.

      You don't need a PHD or call yourself an Expert to see the potential for Success or Failure on this; you don't need to Sound Smart or throw Big Words that require a thesaurus to Try to Understand or Nor Understand. If you Live it or Know someone who is Living it, then Maybe there will be some HOPE of Understanding and Solutions

  5. Respect or lack thereof is prevalent when it comes to this issue. Respect for people's right to live/love how they desire, and also respect for other's right to disagree. Disagree is not synonymous with hate, but somehow nowadays if you aren't for a particular movement you are labeled as ignorant or a hatemonger which I think is equally divisive and counterproductive. With anything you will have fringe groups/elements but if we don't give them a voice then their words will have no power and that goes for all sides of the argument.

  6. If you were born a man your a*S is a man period( changing your sexual orientation while on earth doesn't change what God knows you were born as), whether or not you decide to form an emotional attachment to those "transgender women or men" while engaging in sexual activities with them is irrelevant when determining if one is gay or bisexual….bottom line is if a man or woman enjoys sexual activity with the same-sex you are in fact gay and or bisexual. It is not a black or white thing, however some people who live this type of lifestyle do not want others to know about it so they choose to attempt to keep it private. In the black community it is put on blast for the world to see when someone finds out someone they know lives this way. It becomes the talk of the town and shames the individual whose business is now in the street. I just wish for safety, moral and health reasons that these "down low" people would just be who they are to the world so that those they attempt to form a relationship can have the choice of whether or not they want to be in a relationship or not. So what if you're gay or whatever!! Be yourself and give others a choice. I'm so sick and tired of finding out that women or men are catching HIV/AIDS from these down low people. It is so unfair, at the end of the day protect yourself regardless to who you choose to have a relationship with.

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