Home Dating & Relationships Dating Don’t Be Thirsty: Be Hard To Impress

Don’t Be Thirsty: Be Hard To Impress

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don't be thirsty

In part one: How A Man Can Avoid The Friend-Zone, I explained the upper hand a man could get by not being thirsty or in other words by being hard to impress. As I’ve stated in the past, women view a thirsty man in the same way that men view gold diggers.

On the flip side, women view a man that is hard to impress in the same way that a man would view a woman that is discriminating, loyal, carries herself well, and has respect for herself.

Typically when a woman is on the “prowl,” we play up our best attributes. We have our hair laid nicely, lipstick nicely accentuating the lips, and the outfit complementing the curves. Usually after pulling these old tricks out of the arsenal, we expect and are quite used to men just sopping it all up very quickly and predictably. Women pretty much know precisely how to look and what to highlight in order to get a certain reaction out of men and many men just gobble it up in a predictable way.

We expect men to:

1) Initiate eye contact with us if they like what they see. We respond by

2) reciprocating that eye contact and sustaining it so that they know the feeling is mutual.

At this point, we pretty much know that you’re going to make your way over to us very shortly after that. And when you do, we, admittedly, may kind of start feeling ourselves a little bit.

When we make that eye contact with you giving you the reassurance to proceed, we kind of get a power trip. We feel desired. We feel in control. We get an ego boost. We’ve captured you.

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So if after we capture you, you refuse to be captured right away and don’t follow the time line we have in our heads, it kind of blows our minds. It challenges our seduction skills. It makes you more elusive and therefore that much more desirable. After all, the most valuable things on earth aren’t easily accessible. They are harder to attain, and therefore makes us want them that much more.

(Important note: This technique only applies during the very early stages. This does NOT apply if you are seeing someone on the regular. This only applies shortly before you meet a woman and in the early stages when you are interacting with her sporadically. If you go too far with this technique and carry it on for too long, you could lose a good woman. It is all about balance.)

When we encounter a man that doesn’t fall for us -or anyone – so easily in the early stages, but is unusually hard to impress, it makes us feel like we have to step our games up. It’s a mind-fuck. It makes us more intrigued by you than we’d probably normally be. A man being hard to impress brings a competitive side out of women (Bonus: feeling competitive is another common cause for a spike in adrenaline or epinephrine). We’re asking ourselves “Did this dude seriously just pass all of this goodness up? He must be working with something special that I wasn’t readily aware of upon first seeing him.” It creates s sense of  suspense, spikes adrenaline, and subconsciously makes us want to impress you more.

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Now, I know this is controversial and people will call this playing games but this is simply the way both men and women are built. We just don’t appreciate things that come too easily. We take their value for granted. This applies in the dating game and in other instances as well.

Men that have nailed the technique in this particular example would not be rude, they would just seem as if they’ve simply got caught up with other things first. Other women may be sending them signals too but they’re not worried about it. They’re doing them and are temporarily distracted. They’re not overly impressed by anyone. Why? Because they are Kings. And Kings don’t act like peasants. Kings aren’t thirsty. Kings aren’t easily impressed. They do things on their own time and are not easily swayed by anyone.

Only after a person has showed their rare value and has earned a King’s respect do they begin to appeal and cater to that person. In other words, kings only bow down to queens.

There are plenty of other detailed examples of ways in which a man could show that he’s hard to impress in a variety of settings and circumstances. But let’s reserve that for another time and perhaps another article.

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There are men that have already figured out the general idea of this technique out on their own but don’t quite know how to execute it as effectively as they could.

Have you ever encountered a woman that tries to play hard to get but instead ends up coming off as very conceited and self-centered? Or a girl that you know is attracted to you but constantly swerves you while being mad flirty with all your boys? A lot of men come off this way too without realizing it.

They believe being hard to impress means acting like an over-exaggerated version of an alpha male. They act arrogant, aloof, disrespectful and overly-sexualized. Or in other words, they start acting like an asshole. Instead, of coming off as a boss, they come off as weak. Like they’re overcompensating for something. Intelligent women will quickly peep the game that they’re trying to play and be immediately turned off.

Instead, it is crucial that you are friendly, respectful, and gentlemanly. But remain unpredictable. Remain in control. Take just a little longer to make your way over to us. In general, don’t seem too thirsty or over-impressed by us or anyone. That way, when you do show your appreciation for what we bring to the table, we will appreciate it more. We know that that’s not an honor you afford to just anyone and you’ll have ensured yourself a spot outside of the friend zone.

Gee Hooks

Comment(19)

  1. Hmm.

    I kind of feel like this applies more to women than men, as we fall into "zones" as well for being too available.

    As far as being "hard to impress"…I agree to a certain extent. Women appreciate a man who **appears** discerning, and doesn't hand out his everything to everybody. It's very hard to feel special if you throw your jacket on every puddle for every woman that looks in your direction. Women pick up on the "wide net" approach (which often include "blanket" statements and gestures with no concern for the woman in front of you and what she ACTUALLY likes) and it can be really off-putting, no matter HOW attractive you are.

    Also, it should be noted that any of the tactics described in the last two posts only work if you are an "on the fence" friend-zoned individual. That is to say, You have SOME things she likes, but are missing a je ne sais quoi that fires her pants. If she's not attracted to you at all just move on.

  2. Man Tip #3

    When walking amongst the world in your life – act stately. Pretend as if you possess the launch codes for the nations ICBM's. Give your time easily and freely to charity. Invest your time carefully and wisely in women. Chivalry and complements are your emotional currency. They should be earned not taken for granted.

  3. When I deal with guys that do this, I truly don’t think they’re interested. And I back off. Been “friends” with a dude for 8 years because of it. But I do believe this approach works for some. To be fair, I’m not the most competitive person. You don’t have to jump through hoops to get me to like you, and I’m not about to do that either.

  4. For a post discussing thirst, its rather ironic that the lead image used features a man who's hair looks rather parched.

    Anyway, this post should truly be for the nice guys who fail to get it when they hear the same explanation from their male counterparts. Coming from the horses mouth, it should probably carry more weight for them.

    On another note, in these times of hyper-feminisim and the proclamations of 'rape culture', its good to see a young woman in the blogosphere admit the following:

    "…women pretty much know precisely how to look and what to highlight in order to get a certain reaction out of men and many men just gobble it up in a predictable way. "

    So for any men who were ever in doubt amidst the fem frenzy, you can now breathe a sigh of relief being attracted to a woman without feeling ashamed as if your attraction is generally undesired and akin to rape. #CanonsFired

    Mr. SoBo
    OpinionatedMale.com

    My Post: Woman Thou Art Loosed…uh…Lost…er…Loved

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  5. In using your choice of words, this competition of power that we often engage in has everyone treating others as peasants. Exchanges will become different when we all see each other as kings and queens. Games are no longer played and everyone is who they say they are.

    Thanks for sharing and pushing guys to a place that would be benefit them and those they interact with.

  6. Low self-image, insecurity, not being comfortable with who you are will drive a man or woman to act thirsty. Yes, we naturally gravitate to the individual that seems confident and believes they are a King or Queen. It doesn’t have to be a game. Just be yourself. I’ve been on both sides. Being thirsty over a female and not overly impressed. This behavior can also be dictated by circumstances you are dealing with at the current moment.

  7. Low self-image, insecurity, not being comfortable with who you are will drive a man or woman to act thirsty. Yes, we naturally gravitate to the individual that seems confident and believes they are a King or Queen. It doesn’t have to be a game. Just be yourself. I’ve been on both sides. Being thirsty over a female and not overly impressed. This behavior can also be dictated by circumstances you are dealing with at the current moment.

  8. I have to say as a woman I totally disagree. I don’t want a man who will make me chase or pursue him. And no real man want a woman to chase him at least none that i know of. If I make eye contact with a man that means I want you to show interest. I want you to compliment me, make me smile and all those other things that some women call “thirsty”.

    Now I may play hard to get but I’m supposed to. Its a part of the thrill of the chase FOR MEN… I could be wrong or old fashioned but if I have to pursue you and chase you now or you playing hard to get now, it will always be that way. My opinion.

  9. While as a man I enjoyed a good "chase"(married now, to a woman I courted the "old-fashioned" way), this "men should like it when I play hard to get" mantra makes no sense nowadays. I've seen some of the previous comments allude to this. "Back in the day", the socioeconomic "role" of the woman was drastically different from that of today. Women were expected to homemakers, not CEOs. Docile, not dominant. Which required the male to take on a more dominant/aggressive role. Applying that to today's (and in my opinion better) world, is like expecting a star NBA athlete from the 50s to "dominate" the NBA of 2014. The dynamic just isn't the same. If a man WANTS to play that role(like I did), cool. Play that role. But women shouldn't "expect" such doting from men if they aren't willing to play the "role" of the woman that the "old-fashioned" men of yore pursued.

  10. “When we encounter a man that doesn’t fall for us -or anyone – so easily in the early stages, but is unusually hard to impress”

    a man like this is usually a player – they’re hard to impress because they’re comparing you with all of the other women they deal with.

    1. Or maybe, just MAYBE he might have high standards. I just don't get it:

      Woman that's hard to impress = Focused Spartan that has understandably high standards

      Man that's hard to impress = A "hoe" that's only mind-gaming you to lower YOUR standards.

  11. This article is the furthest thing from the truth and must’ve been written to sensalization purposes. I’m a woman who has lots of female friends and none of us are like this. The assertion that “We have our hair laid nicely, lipstick nicely accentuating the lips, and the outfit complementing the curves. Usually after pulling these old tricks out of the arsenal, we expect and are quite used to men just sopping it all up very quickly and predictably” is ridiculous. You’re supposed to do those things on a regular. It’s called being a woman. Be yourself and the right man will come along.

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