During this time of year, many people are naturally cuddled up with a honey love due to the chill in the air. The frigid temperatures (especially on the east coast) increases the urge to want to snuggle up with someone special. America’s number one holiday for love, lust, and like, Valentine’s Day, is quickly approaching. I enlisted my friend and author of A Cheating Man’s Heart, Derrick Jaxn to help me dish a few his and hers sassy ideas.
Ladies, you don’t have to reinvent the wheel, but do remember that new tires can improve any ride.
- Your #1 Fan – That breakfast in bed thing you already had in mind, do it. But instead of the yearly new lingerie set, take a detour to the nearest custom screen-printing t-shirt shop. Have them make you a #1 fan shirt with “Team (whatever your man’s name is)” on the back. There’s nothing sexier than support. Especially for a man who’s chasing a dream. Cut the t-shirt up to hug your curves. Match that with the boy shorts and heels you already have in your closet. Top it all off with a short speech about how much you support him (in your bedroom voice of course), and you’ll be trading places with that breakfast in no time.
- Adorn Him – If you’re an overachiever then you already know his favorite song. Download that instrumental, and make a remix dedicated to him. Make the lyrics about your loyalty and what you want to do to him sexually. Think creative ego stroking at its best. You don’t have to be Lauryn Hill to pull that off. He’ll still brag about it to his homeboys while they chew through stale chocolates their women bought for them from the dollar store.
As for the last gesture, I must warn you; it’s been known to cause on-the-spot marriage proposals.
- Peep Show – You’ll need a chair, hand cuffs, Ethernet cable, and no sex for about three days prior. Use that time to put together a dance and record it on your laptop webcam. Something sexy of course. Then, on Valentine’s night after you’ve eaten the dinner he’s taken you out for and you’re getting ready for an expected nightcap; switch it up. Sit him in the chair and handcuff him. Hook the Ethernet cable cord from your laptop to the TV and play the video of your dance performance for him. As he watches, massage his shoulders and neck, and don’t forget the ears. About 30 seconds before the end, kiss him, preferably between the thighs (it’s okay, you’re grown). When the video ends, unlock his handcuffs and whisper in his ear, “Oops”, with a gentle bite. If he’s a real man, he’ll take it from there.
Fellas, we get it, you’re simple people. She is too, when it comes to showing her how you feel.
- Bag of Lust – I hope that you’ve been paying attention to your lady. If you haven’t, it’s not too late. The objective is to compile a bag of goodies that you know your lover will enjoy. From sweet treats to sexual toys, use your imagination. If she is a hair/nails gal, stop by her favorite nail/hair salons to prepay her services for the next two appointments and drop the gift voucher in the bag. The point is to incorporate things that will show your lover that you care about her happiness. These do not have to be expensive items but more thoughtful gems. Presentation is also a key factor so make sure that your baggie and timing are on point.
- Love Notes – No need to whisper sweet nothings in her ear. Write them down. Make it fun and leave them all over her house in places that you know she will likely stumble upon them. For the final note, attach it to a special sexy mix CD that you compile just for her. Think along the lines of expression. Whether you’re in like or love, don’t be afraid to share how you feel. Let her know what you really dig about her. Being hard and unemotional is so 2013. If possible, plant your love notes the night before. That way she can wake up to a pleasant surprise on Valentine’s Day, and likely bless you with a hot and steamy morning romance session once she sees how thoughtful you are. She’ll hop in her car and pop in that CD only to turn right back around for a replay.
- Queen of Desire – Take her into your fantasy world and make her a Queen for the evening. You are dressed in a well-tailored suit looking fresh to def! Start by handing her a crown on a fluffy small pillow—you can get an inexpensive tiara from any party store. It’s the gesture that counts. With soft music playing in the background, serve her the dinner that you made, and cater to what you know would be her every desire. While she is savoring her meal and wine of preference, place an envelope with an empty greeting card in her palm. Beforehand, make a list of why she is special to you. Anyone can purchase a stock greeting card and allow the person with the bright ideas to try to accurately express how you feel about your significant other. Take it a step further and truly personalize the experience for your lover. When she opens the blank card she will likely look to you. Ask for her undivided attention. That’s when you take her hand and recite in your own special words all the reasons that you care about and appreciate her. Why she is your Queen. After, you’ll probably receive the best King-dome of life.
Have fun and enjoy! Happy Valentine’s Day.
About the Author: Ahyiana Angel is a Cali girl who has turned the Manhattan streets into her playground. This sassy storyteller—a former sports entertainment publicist at the National Basketball Association (NBA)—is anticipating the release of her first novel, Preseason Love, about dating in New York, coveted careers, complicated relationships, and ultimate deception. Angel is the creator of the salacious and popular blog Life According to Her. It’s contrived like reality TV, fictionalized for fun (also to protect the innocent), and sensationalized for your entertainment.