Home Featured How Singles Cope Without Cupid on Valentine’s Day

How Singles Cope Without Cupid on Valentine’s Day



Valentine’s Day can be the best of times or the worst of times depending on whether or not the day ends in coitus or calamity.

The best can be summed by spending quality time with your partner. Sharing a meal, gazing at the heartfelt gifts and partaking in adult acrobatics.

The worst is obvious: spending the entire 24-hour period crestfallen because it seems everyone in your vicinity is basking in the glow of the blessings Cupid has provided everyone except you, of course.

The days leading up to Valentine’s Day for those with love, and absent of it, will be one of extremes.

Displays of public affection will go into overdrive for couples. Increased hand holding, kissing, snuggling on the street and in cyberspace are sure to accelerate past levels that only rival experiences felt during championship parades.

The flip side assuredly is setup to be one where singles do everything in their lonely hearts to pretend Feb.14, 2014 does not exist. I’ve already read and heard proclamations from this sphere that they will treat it like any other day. Work, gym, dinner, TV, scripture reading, self-pampering and then bed got dammit, and that’s the way it’s gonna be because they’re happy being single! Note to self: if you have to announce that you’re not going to celebrate with the same vigor as the majority of the population that probably means you’re just A LOT more insecure about the position you’re not playing.

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I once was that guy. I would vent to friends, family members and Facebook about how much Valentine’s Day was a hustle. How the people of America had been bamboozled by capitalism, and the need for Hallmark to sell more cards to improve their corporate stock. I even went so far one year to take down Valentines Day biblically by pointing out that it was a pagan holiday created by Lucifer himself to steal souls away from God.

It was just the womanlessness talking, as it will be for millions of men and women whose thirsty advances will not be reciprocated.

Womanless again for Valentine’s Day this year, I’m not going to be a Valentines Day terrorist. And I’m not going to attempt to artificially boost myself esteem by hijacking the holiday with haughtiness about singledom. However, I can understand why so many in this state can be cumbersome. Humans in general balk at the idea of something they can’t have or participate in constantly waved in their faces. We want to be included in the party. It’s humbling to be left sitting on the pine watching everybody else play. Valentine’s Day can be such with never ending jibber-jabber about flowers, candy, gifts and spending money – lots of money that won’t be spent on you. It creates resentment, envy, strongly worded social media posts and needy texts to the ex or that person you hung out with a few times.

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To counterbalance that, singles must project (almost peacocking in a sense) how much more fulfilled their lives are than their peers who are in relationships. It’s called not trying to be the stereotypical single even though you passive-aggressively (or just aggressively) denounce Valentine’s Day therefore exposing stereotypical single traits.

The idea that the promotion of love could turn otherwise decent people into mongrels, and the aloof into unexpected heartthrobs, are reasons why Valentine’s Day should encompass good times for all until Feb. 15.

Darrell is a professional writer who covers crime waves from an Oklahoma newsroom by day. He also doubles as a part-time blogger when he wants to create his own mischief. You can follow this Chicago-born scribe on Twitter @KD_Marshall


  1. very annoying when celebrating Valentine's Day without a boyfriend / girlfriend.
    there is no one to share the happiness valentine, no chocolate, or even no beautiful roses.

  2. Its a day for love, whether single, taken or horribly mistaken I never got the outcry. The "it should be everyday" is a convenient excuse but you still celebrate Thanksgiving, go to church on easter, turn up on ur birthday. Its not a federal holiday, it costs you nothing pay it no mind.
    My recent post Today’s Word is… TRADITIONAL

  3. My fiancé and I do not really celebrate V-day (gifts, cards, fb statuses). We usually just take a road trip to some random place. Been together for 5 years and still see no point in all that extra displaying of love. It seems so fake to me. I don’t advertise our love on V-day out of respect for the singles, because some people like rubbing it in. I saw a meme on fb that said something to the effect of: all the people who complain about not having a valentine on valentines day, there are people who don’t have a mother on mothers day, so stfu.

  4. Use this day as motivation. Instead of being jealous, use this day to reflect on why you are single. Smile when you see love, because you know it’s possible to attain for yourself.

  5. I feel like, why not do Valentine's day? something fun to do! As a single person it does suck to see ol girl have her boo send her flowers, but that's a perk of being in a relationship. You will have your time! In the meanwhile create your own single Vday tradition!
    My recent post Valentine’s Day Failure

  6. Valentine's Day doesn't really mean anything to me. I've never celebrated it, so I don't have a feeling towards it either way.

  7. Ditto Joe Blow. lol! I'm comfortable with the day, but I just have no feelings towards it. I think in marriage (not relationship) the day will suddenly have deep meaning to me.

  8. I think that society has groomed us to feel, especially women, that we "have" to be with someone on Valentine's Day or that Valentine's Day is that one day of the year that we have to "go over the top" to express our love to that "special someone."
    Feb. 14th is just another day and I would rather be with someone who showed me they loved me every day instead of putting up a front for "appearances" one day out of the year.
    My recent post Gettng Pissed By All The Facebook Pics Of Valentine’s Day Gifts? Screw Them And Cupid!

  9. Part of the issue to me is as it is with a lot of other "traditions" in modern society, we have over commercialized and sensationalized it to the point of disgust. I won't bore the comments thread with the history behind the holiday. However no matter how you slice it, the holiday has become addicted to steroids just like Christmas. I have always felt that it's a woman's holiday (my opinion) and that men are generally an afterthought. Another way for a group of people to feel entitled, but I know most wouldn't agree and take my assessment as being bitter. I assure you I am not, I just see things with a little more perspective than most. Carry on.

  10. I look at it like this, yeah it sucks in a way because I have spent a few valentines days single myself, but in the end does it really matter? Because on February 15 everything wil be 'back to normal'. And besides for those fellas who are/were single on V-day you saved yourself money as opposed to the brothers who went out and spent an arm, a leg, and testicles….and guess what? probably didn't get what were truly looking for at the end. No cutty, nothing. No sour grapes at all but to make a big deal of being single on valentines day is hackneyed. And besides what about those who are in relationships but because you all are going though a rough patch right now it wasn't acknowledged.
    My recent post Love Conundrum: Is It REALLY Unconditional?


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