In terms of dating, is what you bring to the table valuable? To find out, make a list of 3-5 of your very best qualities. These are the attributes that set you, as a man, apart from other men (or in the case of women, set you apart from other women).
For each quality that you listed, I want you to answer these yes/no questions:
- Can this quality/skill/attribute be purchased?
- Does this quality/skill/attribute deteriorate with each passing year?
- Can this quality/skill/attribute be easily outsourced?
- Would it be fairly easy to find someone else with this same quality/skill/attribute?
If you answered yes to any of the above mentioned qualities, that asset is depreciable and is damn near worthless in the dating scene.
There is a specific group of men and women that I have been coming across way too frequently. Like the girls that look like video vixens but have nothing to bring to the table but their good looks and their vaginas and expect the world to be handed to them in return for that. They seem to be unaware of the fact that there are hundreds of other girls that look just as good or better than them that are bringing looks to the table in addition to other innate, irreplaceable qualities.
Likewise, there are men walking around with a menial full time job that have this air of entitlement expecting the cookie to be thrown at them after taking a girl to Olive Garden.
It doesn’t make sense that these people would be serving up a spoonful of frosting as if it’s the entire cake and then get mad when people are left disappointed and unimpressed!
Here are the qualities that many would consider to be “frosting.” These are simply perks that shouldn’t be bragged about because they’re not substantial or significant.
- Sexual skills – Porn is easily accessible and available now and everyone is using it for entertainment and instructional purposes. Everyone is a porn star now. You’re not special.
- Cooking skills – This is not a very noteworthy skill, especially if you only know how to cook soul food. If it’s not healthy in this age of 30 year olds dying of strokes and heart attacks, it’s not that serious. Anyone can go to Popeyes and pick up some fried chicken. Next!
- Good looks – Every day that passes the more your skin loses its elasticity and your hairline takes on more of a horseshoe-like appearance. Why brag on something that you won’t always have?
- Money – The people you want to be dealing with will already have that and wont be impressed by that. It’s redundant to show off and be overly concerned with something that the person you’re dealing with already has.
So what are irreplaceable qualities? In a nutshell:
Someone with a sense of direction and purpose. Financial savvy. Ambition. Someone who will push you to be your best instead of holding you back. Someone that is mentally and intellectually stimulating. A sense of humor. Loyalty. A healthy sense of self-worth.
These are the qualities you should be focusing on developing within yourself and feeling proud of. They are rare and will set you apart from the rest.
Stop focusing on and playing up your depreciable assets. You got a new pair of Jordans, that’s nice. You stay fresh, good for you. You have a fatty, great – so does half of the female population. Honestly, any person of substance and maturity won’t be too impressed by those things.
Spend time developing what makes you rare as a human being and less on things that could be put on, taken away or replaced at the click of a button and you’ll find that you will come across similarly unique and valuable individuals who you can connect with on a deeper level.