Home Advice Five Pieces of Advice I Wish I Could Give the Younger Me

Five Pieces of Advice I Wish I Could Give the Younger Me



I’m 31 now. Ancient, past my prime, and “should be starting a family” come to mind.  I still have a lot of goals now that I wish I had undertaken earlier in my life, a lot of things I’ve yet to do and all the while that clock is ticking. Seems like only yesterday I was that fresh, teenage, student-athlete in high school with no idea of what he was doing. Here’s the advice I would give to myself then.

1) Value your relationships.

Not just the intimate ones, but all of the friendships too. If I were to subtract my work and Facebook friendships (I dunno… It’s just not the same), I’m left with about a handful of people that I’ve kept in touch with. Don’t forget about your friends as you grow up, go to school, and move away. Dont let them go to waste.

2) Who you are is not who you will be.

Can only speak for myself, but the culmination of who I am today, what I believe, and what I stand for has been in the making since college and is still growing. Yea, I had crazy wild beliefs when I was younger and went along on my friend’s bandwagon, yea I was unsure of myself and my future, but that’s okay. Life is an adventure. You don’t always have to have an end in sight. Enjoy the ride!

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3) Keep some things under the radar.

Knowledge is power. You don’t have to announce everything you’re doing for others’ approval or input. Ride your own wave. See those plans come to fruition.

4) Believe in yourself.

Lord knows there were dozens of people telling me what I could and could not accomplish, that I had to be realistic about my dreams and what I wanted to do with my life. F*ck that, f*ck them. Yea, they only wanted the best for me, but being who I was then, I listened to my loved ones and took their misinformed guidance as sacrosanct. Those are the types of things that stifle the creative mind. Live your life! Do what you dream! Even if those lofty goals come crashing down, you gave those ideas life when other people let their ideas miscarry.

5) Sometimes you gotta go at it alone.

I think the idea of having a partner at your side or a support group makes the tougher things bearable. But waiting for someone to be sold on your ideas halts them. When you rise to the top, plenty of people will be there willing and waiting to join up. So, for now, get out there and go get ’em.

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I share this with you in hopes that maybe it catches your ear. Life is precious and short at that, but most of all, regardless of what anyone else says or thinks, this life is yours to live how you see fit. Don’t limit yourself and don’t let anyone else stifle your dreams.

Frank Barber.
website: frankallenbarber.wordpress.com/


  1. I feel these five pieces of advice. One more thing I would add to my list was to go to college right after I graduated high school and perform better while in high school so college would be paid for. Instead of going to college after high school I chased love. I don't regret my decision to chase love, but now looking back I could have done both. You live and you learn 🙂
    My recent post Friday’s Feeling

  2. #4 is the TRUTH. As a future business owner, I once let fear paralyze me but no longer. You only live once is one of the most important lessons a person should ever learn and taking a risk (a well-informed one at that) not only makes life more exciting but everyone knows that the truly successful people on this planet never got there by playing it safe ALL the time. Kudos to your post

  3. #s 1, 3, and 5 would have helped me immensely if I had those said to me 10 years ago ( I was in HS, 2nd year into the Workforce World and was toobusy being Reckless and a Rebel to everyone and anyone around me, whether they were Looking Out for me or Looking to Take Advantage of Me).

  4. #'s 3 and 5 hit home the most for me. I was the big, SMART, jock. Once thought I had to fit the role of being the big, DUMB, jock in high school. I was embarrassed to show my report card to my peers on the football team. I made the honor roll and was embarrassed..lol smh Most of them could barely read, but that wasn't what was important to them. All that mattered to them then was to be the coolest, dumbest, and most importantly, the best athlete you could be. I wanted to fit in, so I would pretend to be just as dumb as them. (I ask the Principal to take my name out of the school paper so I could spare being ridiculed by guys like Richie Igcognito..lol smh) I should've never been embarrassed. Surprisingly though, a few of the guys' literary skills have improved tremendously. I write them frequently in prison.


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