I tread on thin ice today. By the end of this post I am sure to ease the minds of all religious people. The title of this post isn’t exactly what you might think. Allow me to preface my post. I think if you’re a woman and you’re spiritual that’s great. I believe in God myself and that’s well and good. That’s not something that ever needs changing.
Recently I participated in @Iamjaymayo ‘s “Women’s Empowerment Month” on up4discussion.org. The post I wrote for the site was based on the importance of being balanced. You can read it here. I basically say that men are likely to take a woman more seriously if she’s more interesting. I feel that if you present an interest in a variety of things and don’t bombard a guy with just one interest then he’ll enjoy you more.
I think that many guys might be put off by an extra religious woman.
Women know this as well, take this clip for example:
Kelly Rowland’s character used that line to try and deter Kevin Hart. That small cameo is an experience a lot of guys have had one way or another. Usually a guy would be put off by that comment. The woman might also make that comment without wanting to put that guy off. So why would this freak us out?
There’s a certain stigma attached to what I call a “churchy” woman. In other words, we’d call this person an over the top fanatic. The stigma is that a churchy woman isn’t fun. That she is uptight. She could possibly be bitter. Lastly a guy might also think that he couldn’t ever get any buns with you while dating.That’s a real concern for many. All of the above could absolutely be untrue. In fact, Dr. J touched on a similar subject here. You could be a woman that’s into everything equally. You just have to show that.
Men are very lighthearted people.
We dream of a woman we can just be easy with. It’s why we dream of the impossible woman that’ll never stress us. Since we know we can’t have that we look for the lady who stresses us the least. In turn that woman should be who we have the most fun with. Now there may be men reading this who say “I need me a God fearing woman!” I’m not saying that there’s anything wrong with that. Whoever we decide to share our lives with needs to be in sync with our beliefs. I will say that if you want your girl solely preaching all the time then you’re in the minority. If you want a woman who doesn’t like to have fun you’re in the minority.
I’m just looking to help. If there are any single religious ladies reading this, know that I want you to be encouraged. If you’re heavy in church and what not it’s fine. Ease us into that side of you. You have got to snag us with your personality. You have to exemplify balance. To the ladies who are religious but don’t bombard someone with your beliefs initially, you’re appreciated. In fact, I would like to know your levels of success in dating. Because in a guy’s mind, if all your instagram posts are Bible verses, then he’ll likely think that’s all you have to talk about.
If your statuses harken that you need no man then it’ll turn us off. That’s the last thing we want ladies. We have got to see some balance in who you are. Balance in your interests. Guys may take your expression of spirituality the wrong way. It could come off as if you don’t want to find that happiness with someone. Guys hate feeling not needed. It’s a substantial reason why a man may have reservations for a “church woman. There’s no need to ever change your faith. There’s no need for a guy to influence how you praise or anything. But upon meeting someone, I believe easing someone into who you are in that realm would do you more good than harm.
To my fellas, do you agree with my sentiment? Are there any ladies who think they’ve scared men off this way? Well let’s get into it.
These are my words and I make no apologies.
DamnPops is a writer on the staff at SBM: “I’m not a biter, I’m a writer for myself and others. ” Brooklyn born dude trying to figure out this life just like you. Come on this journey with me. Follow me on Twitter @DamnPOPS – Damn He Got A Point” (My Column) on Viral Status