There is a big bowl of soft, delicious, aromatic, fresh baked bread in your line of sight ready for you to dig in. You salivate at the thought of the bread and butter melting in your mouth. You can taste it. You’ve been on a carb free diet for the last month. Your hunger makes you want to lunge across the table showing no shame for your lack of etiquette. You are starving, yearning for the fresh morsel of bread. To hell with who thinks what. You fall victim to weakness.
I can only imagine that this must be the same sensation that a cheater feels when they jump head first into a situation, which is without a doubt disrespectful to their partner. There is a desire and they act on it. Their impulse leads the way.
So that’s how your man must have felt when that big voluptuous butt came swinging his way at the club. He couldn’t resist, right? He was yearning for a fix. She knew what she was doing when she somehow wrapped your man into a trance without saying a word. The same way that the fresh baked bread locked you into a trance. It played to your weakness, right?
Well, it could have been that or any number of other reasons. The point, we all have our triggers. There will always be something that will tempt you to cross the imaginary boundary line that you have established for yourself. The question: will you fall to the temptation? Succumbing to the temptation is the easy way out. It takes mental and emotional strength to resist some of the things that we want most in life.
A man once shared with me that he is faithful in his relationship by choice. We all have that choice. That seems to be something that we forget. There will always be opportunities to do wrong. He stated that the reason for him not slipping out and disrespecting his relationship is due to the fact that he decided to be committed to his lover. It was a decision that he planned on sticking to regardless of the circumstances. Let me add that based off of his looks, this man could likely pull some fly chicks, but that was no longer his angle. There have probably been days where he has had to tap into his willpower to avoid making an irreversible mistake.
People treat cheating as a simple mistake or lapse in judgment. We can all make excuses for cheating, but is it a sign of a larger character flaw?
I was watching recent episodes of Couples Therapy on VH1 the other night. Admittedly, I only watch because of Ghost Face. If you were wondering, his storyline is messier than a two-year-old eating ice cream. But it began to heat up even more when his girlfriend arrived. So yes, he is on the show with one woman doing couples therapy, but claiming another as his girlfriend. He presented the situation as though he was confused about which lady he truly wanted to be with.
This is what raised my eyebrow; the girlfriend was satisfying him from the way that he presented her. He seemed to really lover her. There were no complaints about what she was or wasn’t doing. The problem appeared to be his weakness. He wanted to have his cake and eat it too (literally but we won’t talk about the weight he has gained and how he should think of asking Chub Rock if he can use his rap name now).
Anyway, I could tell that he felt some type of way at a point during the session with Dr. Jenn. It was like he did not want to be categorized as a bad guy or a cheater. Okay Ghost, maybe you are not a bad guy, but your decision-making is questionable and you seem to be easily swayed or tempted.
Character is defined as the aggregate of features and traits that form the individual nature of some person. Naturally people like to hold themselves in high regard, but what if people knew that you were a cheater? Would they think that you were easily swayed or influenced, better yet, that you are weak? Employers run credit checks for some jobs to help determine the character of the person that they are looking to employ. What if a person’s cheating status were displayed in that background check. I wonder if that would make people take the act of cheating with relation to their character more seriously. Yes women cheat too, but it’s funny that men pride themselves on the idea of their superior strength, but I bet many don’t realize how weak they are when they cheat.
About the Author: Ahyiana Angel is a Cali girl who has turned the Manhattan streets into her playground. This sassy storyteller—a former sports entertainment publicist at the National Basketball Association (NBA)—is anticipating the release of her first novel, Preseason Love (October 2014), about dating in New York, coveted careers, complicated relationships, and ultimate deception. Angel is the creator of the salacious and popular blog Life According to Her. It’s contrived like reality TV, fictionalized for fun (also to protect the innocent), and sensationalized for your entertainment.