I don’t know! How about we start off with that and let it be known. I am not perfect in the world of dating. Although I’ve experienced great successes, i sure have some weak points. One of my biggest weak points is my timing. With women I have the shittiest timing this side of the Eiffel. Many times I’ve approached or inquired about women and it just wasn’t the right time. Either they were newly in a relationship, or just got out of one and were fed up. Have any of the guys reading this experienced the same? Well I decided to take it to the
phone streets. I asked a few ladies ( Shanel, Yasmiyn, Vanessa) about this very subject. I actually loved the variance in responses. So check it out and please feel free to add your three cents.
1. When you’re newly single are you inclined to turn down most men?
Vanessa- It Depends on the timing. For instance, if I’m being approached like the day after then yes.
2.What kind of guy would you make an exception for?
Shanel- Boris Kodjoe (laughs). It depends on how a guy approaches and how attractive he is.
Yasmiyn- No guy. If I already like you there shouldn’t ever have to be an exception for me to make.
Vanessa- He has to be a clear upgrade from my last relationship.
3. Do you use “not being ready” as an excuse for guys you’re not interested in?
4. If so, why not just be honest?
Shanel- It’s hard to be mean.
Yasmiyn- I don’t want to be a bitch. Lying can end up being easier especially with someone you don’t know well.
Vanessa- It depends on how well I know someone. I can only be honest if I know they can handle my honesty.
5. Are you annoyed when men make advances once they find out you’re newly single?
Yasmiyn- It depends. If you’re a stranger then you really have no way of knowing. It can be annoying by someone I know depending on their approach.
Vanessa- It can be very flattering but it depends on the approach.
6. What’s an amply amount of time a guy should give you before he approaches you?
Shanel- It’s at least a month before I start taking numbers again generally.
Yasmiyn- No specific time frame. It just depends on how over I am my previous situation.
Vanessa- In about a month I usually move on.
7. If someone approached you and you liked them but wasn’t ready to talk, would you let them know once you were ready? Or would you just speak to the next person you like that approaches you?
Shanel- First person that comes along once I’m ready and interested is who I’d talk to.
Yasmiyn- If I like you then I like you, there’s no waiting period.
Vanessa- It depends on how they acted after I told them I wasn’t ready. If they treated me different after then I wouldn’t tell them once I was ready to date again.
What I’ve gathered from this is what we always gather from these discussions. It’s great insight but there’s not just one solid answer. Relationship discussions for the most part are very grey. The hardest thing to decipher as a guy is when I’m being lied to or when a lady genuinely needs some time to just chill. Do any of y’all have an answer for that? I still wonder. All in all much respect to the ladies I interviewed. I thank you for your honesty and humor. Y’all are lovely.
Can any of you all relate to this scenario? What’s your experience with a guy once a you became single? How has the fellas fared with newly single women? Have a great day!
These are my words and I make no apologies.
DamnPops is a writer on the staff at SBM: “I’m not a biter, I’m a writer for myself and others. ” Brooklyn born dude trying to figure out this life just like you. Come on this journey with me. Follow me on Twitter @DamnPOPS – Damn He Got A Point” (My Column) on Viral Status