A few weeks ago an article was published giving advice to women about their men. In 50 different ways, we were told how to keep a man happy while becoming a cardboard cut-out, and losing small pieces of ourselves over time, all in the name of love. Oddly enough, there were a few good points and some points that I think could apply to anyone, not just women. The way I understood it, if I follow this list then I will have a better chance at a lasting relationship.
As I read through this list, I began to feel like this was not a list for someone who was in a mature, committed relationship, but for someone who was trying to be her man’s puppet. I think that people should feel free to be who they are. If someone loves you for you, then there will be no need for ego stroking and contingency blowjobs. It’s time men quit acting like boys and be men, and as hard as that may be for some, here are my thoughts on this little list……
2. You Can’t Change Him
This is a very true statement. Women often think they can change a man and that just is not true. The most you can really do is be willing to compromise on things you don’t like and hope your partner will do the same. On the flip side, men have a bad habit of thinking women can be changed too. In the age of the independent woman, your chances are super slim if you think you’re coming in calling the shots.
3. You Shouldn’t Take It Personally When He Checks Out Other Women
I’m sorry, what? Men get in their feelings if their woman so much as sneezes in the direction of another man. This doesn’t even sound right. I don’t have to take it personally, but I will take it as a sign of disrespect. At some point in life, men should be able to control their actions. As hard as that may be for most, it’s not impossible. If you can’t manage to keep your eyes on me, and not the passersby, that is a problem.
4. He Will Choose His Friends Over You
Balance is a part of any relationship. There really shouldn’t be a time when a man has to choose between one or the other. I do feel that your girl shouldn’t feel like she comes second to your posse on the regular. Nobody wants to feel like an option, and if she’s not your sidepiece, I think by the time you’re ready to commit you should have your priorities in order. Guys have this weird ‘bromance’ thing going on these days. It’s like they’re joined at the pelvis almost. If I have to constantly go back and forth with you because you’d rather play GTA with the homies, maybe you’re better of dating the homies.
10. He’s Jealous Of All Your Straight Guy Friends
This sounds like a personal problem. Unless there is a legitimate reason for you to be concerned about any platonic friendships, you should be secure enough to not throw a fit about her friends. It’s called confidence. Get you some.
12. He Wants To Bang Your Friends
Why am I supposed to be okay with this? I think its normal to notice if other people are attractive. If I have friends that you notice, that’s fine. Don’t let me know you notice them. To walk around wanting to “do” them is a completely different thing. Let me say I liked ‘ol boy’s shirt, and you will be ready to throw a fit. Men do a good job of dishing, and not taking.
16. He Wants You To Need Him
Okay. I agree with this one. (good job) It is definitely important for women to put the “I am woman, hear me roar” cape to the side and let men be used for their manliness. In no way am I suggesting to become a damsel in distress, but like anyone, men need to feel they have a purpose in a relationship. It’s okay ladies, ask him to open that jar of pickles.
17. You’ve Got To Watch Your Weight
*Deep Sigh* I don’t think I need a man coaching me on my weight loss or gain. If you notice the lbs’ coming in at a rapid rate, encouragement to join you in your daily fitness regimen is acceptable. If you don’t have a fitness routine for me to join you in, keep your comments to yourself.
19. Ultimatums Do NOT Work They do work
If the person making them is prepared to follow through, they do work. If they are being used as an empty threat, then you are correct. They don’t work.
36. He Doesn’t Want To Hear About Your Sexual Past
Cool, well don’t ask. That’s one less awkward conversation we have to have. Men….. you all have a really bad habit of wanting to ask questions about people that don’t matter, to get answers you can’t do anything with accept make judgments. Don’t think you are her first, and don’t think that you were her only. There were others before you, deal with it. Unless she was smashing the homie, let it go. Also, please stop asking for body counts. Let’s talk about something else please.
38. If He Cheats On You Once, He’ll Do It Again
Yep! If he stepped out on you it’s because something he wanted or needed was lacking, and he will do it again. I believe that anyone fully satisfied with someone else, won’t have reason to look elsewhere. I’m not saying it’s her fault for him cheating, but I’m saying that he is going to search for what he wants until he gets it. Don’t fall for the okey doke ladies.
43. Speaking Of Threesomes… He Will NEVER Stop Trying
If this is the ultimate male fantasy, I’m sure he can fulfill this fantasy prior to getting in a relationship. Nothing good will come from opening up your relationship to a third person. If he’s begging for a threesome, there are some other issues going on that need to be addressed.
50. He’s Not As Complicated As You Are
I disagree. Men are complicated in ways that are different from us. Women are more emotional, but men are equally as complicated just in their own way. They are calculated creatures that are usually set in their own ways and find change very challenging. People in general are complicated. That’s why compassion and understanding are important qualities to have when you’re in a relationship with someone.