Home Featured Is Your Girl On Your Team Or Are You On Hers?

Is Your Girl On Your Team Or Are You On Hers?



There comes a point in every man’s life when he has to decide to put away childish things and focus on manly things. While this may seem like it has to do with maturity, it has nothing to do with maturity at all. It’s about avoiding falling into pitfalls in life that will take him away from his path, his struggle, or his grind. When we’re young we focus a lot on trying to be into everything and every woman; as we get older we realize that’s not really what we want to do. We want to be into less and eh… I’d like to say less women but that isn’t the truth for all of us. I struggled with today’s post because while I’d like to be specific, I can’t today. I have to respect the process in place and wait a few more weeks to directly address the issues. Here’s what I will say, men should do everything in their power to always take into account that everyone you think is in your corner is not in your corner.

I say a lot about gold diggers and groupies in my posts. I don’t find them too offensive and think that the only people who really have a problem with gold diggers are other women. Most men who interact with these women are very well aware that they’re gold diggers and they treat them as such. I mean come on bruh, you have never had a woman interested in you until you started making six figures. Do you really think she’s in love with you? Or is that Audemar you have on your wrist? You do the math.

You will have women who purport themselves as really attractive and like a certain lifestyle. It’s amazing that when women claim to not be targeting only rich men they seem to keep popping up around rich men. Either they’re putting something in their drink or maybe it’s just that they only go after rich men. However, these women aren’t in your corner and they’re certainly not hanging around you because they are in love with you. They’re there because of what you can provide to them and what you can do for them. And when the thrill is gone, most times they are too.

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Their exit isn’t gradual or graceful, it’s likely that it will somehow hurt the source of their pleasure in the time leading up to this point but it’s inevitable. A woman who is not in your corner will sleep with your brother, your best buddy, hell I don’t put anything past them she might sleep with your sister. A woman scorned is liable to do anything, beware. But when you factor in that the woman feels scorned because you were financially supporting her and have decided to no longer do that or are incapable, she feels scorned. It’s ok, that makes absolutely no sense to me either.

I think I speak for all men in attendance when I say that being dragged through the mud isn’t fun or fair. White lies become tall tales. You bring someone into the inner circle and then they end up breaking all the terms of that inner circle in betrayal. Then, women wonder why men in 2014 are still saying “we don’t love them hoes.” I don’t much agree with Calvin Broadus on that statement, but he had a point. A lot of women are out for self, they’re not out for support. A man should spend more time trying to figure out what her motives are than how big her ass is or how many followers she has on Instagram. (Straight flexing!) There’s a ton of women who aren’t doing this, that want nothing more than to be with a man who is dedicated to being with them. Just them. The problem is men are in the cycle of dating women who aren’t in their corner or recovering from a situation with a woman who wasn’t in his corner. It seems like the solution is simple. Evaluate all these women in your life and ensure that they are in your corner.

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If they’re in your corner and they’re down for you they won’t do the things that these skeezers, thots, and ratchets do on the regular. It will also save you a lot of money. It will also hold women accountable. Inevitably, this results in a better dating pool. I tell my close friends that they have to listen to Dope B*tch Skit on Rick Ross’s Mastermind LP because that chick really does exist. Trust me, I know. I know more than I’d like to know about those types of women. Therefore, for the 99 and two thou – my apologies, for 2014 that’s what we’re going to do as men. We’re going to do an assessment of all the women in our life and make sure they’re a part of the team or just here as long as this benefits her goals independent of mine.

Dr. J


  1. This is a life lesson for men and women! Men and women make/accept poor choices and then want to blame the other individual for not living up to their dream/fantasy. There’s only one person responsible for their poor choice. Realistically these experiences enhance our development, especially if we learn to evaluate the good and bad in an effort to weed the same poor qualities out in future relationships.

    Women aren’t the ones having issues with Gold Diggers… Men create this type of woman. Men who cannot live up to their expectations are the ones who mainly have issues with Gold Diggers. There may be an occasional jealous woman, but you guys never address the jealous man. Overall, IMO, a Gold Digger affects men far more.

  2. That Dope B*tch Skit is thee worst…its like listening to the AT&T kids. Its as simple as who what when where and why; your future wife isn’t at the club or on her bathroom sink on Instagram, does she have goals or a bunch of dreams, are you attracted or interested? At some point we all learn discretion, it comes with growth.

  3. 5 months into the year, but still a good message. We all (men and women) need to start taking responsibility for our not only dating choices, but our dating behaviors/activities as well. We can’t expect more from others than we are willing to give ourselves.

    As much as the term ‘accountability’ has been beaten to death in the last couple years, it really is extremely important to have when one has expectations when dating. And since we ALL have expectations when dating, we ALL need to have a sense of personal accountability.

    9 times out of 10, we are the root cause of our successes and failures. The effed up thing is that most people unconsciously attribute their successes/failures to a single act/decision, but its often the result of a series of ‘poor’ choices which in many cases don’t produce immediately negative results, causing a false sense of “this is okay to keep_____” to develop. It isn’t until some sh*t happens or much later down the line when one takes a step back, that they realize whats been going on. The recourse then is to either make changes within oneself or to continue on with the attitude of “Oh well, its too late now to turn back”.

    I say all this to say, although its great to analyze the people one takes interest in, it cannot stop there. Once you recognize the unwanted patterns in the people you date and undesirable relationships you have found yourself involved in – which inevitably says more about you than it does them – look at yourself.

    Mr. SoBo

    My Recent Post: 10 Movie Titles You Wouldn’t Want To Be Synonymous With Your Relationship”

    Another Good Post: How Long Should You Wait For Your Man To Pop The Question”


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