Some say women make the world go round, but they forgot about the power of good D. Every man has a penis, but every man doesn’t have good D. From experience, I know the privileges given to you when you handle your business. I’m talking about laying it down so good, she peeking out the window every time she hear a car roll by type of D. Without further ado, 15 Things Good D Can Do:
1. Make You Take Off Work or Play Hooky from School
Last night was epic; it’s just you and him at the crack of day and you want that back tapped just the way it was the night before.
2. Make That Negro a Sandwich
He just laid it down, like a floor plan. Now you have a burst of energy or you’re tired as hell, but you just gotta give that man a prize for tearing that thang up like a speeding ticket.
3. Become a Booty Call
You don’t answer your phone for men after 11pm, but he got that Good Good. He called you at 1:47am and you returned his call by 1:49am- with your sexy voice “Hey, what’s up? No, I’m not sleep…” *wipes slob off mouth*
4. Ignore Your Friends
You spent the night over his house and you knew you made plans with your friends the day before. In your head you’re saying “them b*tches can wait- they’ll understand!”
5. Consider Buying Him Something When You Shop
You’re grocery shopping for two. You trying to fill your fridge up with all the stuff he said he liked and he ain’t even your man.
6. Let Him Drive Your Car
You don’t mind, you just tell him where the keys are and to drop you off at work- knowing damn well his license is suspended.
7. Check All His Social Media
When you met you weren’t a social media type of person. By the time he got finished with you- you had a Twitter, Instagram, Google+, and a Tumblr account; all just to keep track on him.
8. Clean His Crib
You ain’t used a damn cup, dish, or fork in his house, but you cleaning that place from top to bottom.
9. Never Look Back At an Ex
Yo ex don’t even get the break-up preliminary coochie care package no more. You treat playboy like a distant memory. You don’t even check for ex texts on holidays anymore.
10. Consider Having His Baby
You don’t even want kids, but you thinking about what you all’s kids would look like. Ya’ll have protected sex, but you want him to….*loses connection*
11. Let Him Video Tape You
You’ve become his little sex star. You make sexy eye contact with his camera phone, while riding him. The D is so good you, you do alot of things you’ve never done before.
12. You Named His Penis
Sidenote: Women come up with some of the worst penis names, never let your girl name your penis or your dog.
13. You So Stingy
You aren’t even in a relationship, but you don’t want him to share the D.
14. You single, You Not in a Relationship, But You Taken
*Stewie from Family Guy eye squint*
Once you guys slept together, you’ve had tunnel vision. You may not notice it, but you’re not checking for any other dudes.
15. You Trying New Thangs
Two weeks ago while sitting down with your friends you said, “Hell naw, I would never…” Now, you’ve done it all; let him pull the weave, sleptover, orifice #3, tossed his salad(I ain’t with that), loaned him money(lol)…
BONUS*** 16. You Paranoid
His D so good, you keep him a secret. You don’t even want your homegirls joking about getting a sample. What you say “I don’t trust ’em, they don’t NEED to know”.