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Seven Ways To Prove You Chose An Excellent Mate



When you commit to someone, whether as a monogamous relationship or eventual marriage, there can be a sense of apprehension. You feel you are a good judge of character, but you’ve made mistakes before. There is no manual that can dictate a fool proof way to know if a mate is right for you, so you have to trust your instincts and experiences to guide you. Brie Schwartz over at MSN lifestyle gave an account of how she knows her and her husband belong together. Check out a few of her points below:

1. I tell him I don’t need him and he ignores me.

There have been countless occasions when I’’ve assured my husband I could handle situations without any of his help, —ranging from minor things, like pulling heavy dishes out of the oven (I’’m a tad accident-prone) to the bigger events, like visiting my mom in the hospital when she took three too many painkillers. Sure, I would have been fine on my own, but knowing that I had his support, whether I thought I needed it or not, made all the difference. In a solid relationship, you see through the other person’’s BS when they’re trying to be tough.

2. We have compatible insecurities.

Everyone is a little bit insecure. I think someone famous once said that. But you know you’re right for each other when you find someone with equal but opposite anxieties. My husband gets embarrassed when I’’m too outspoken, and I encourage him to stand up for himself more. Together, we make a semi-normal person.

3. We can turn anything into a date.

Outings should not be restricted to dinners at new restaurants. Putting all of the emphasis on making good conversation is just too much pressure for a guy you’’ve been texting all day. What’’s left to say by the time the appetizer comes? That’s why, whenever possible, we try to think of silly, free things to do that focus the attention on simply being together. Last weekend, for instance, we scoured New York City searching for giant Easter eggs. Yes, we were the only adults on the hunt, but I also think we had the most fun.

These are definitely good points here. These speak more towards being in tune with your partner, keeping it real, keeping it fresh, and genuinely enjoying one another! What a novel idea, huh? I believe that if you hve this level of comfort, you should be set.

See Also:  The Problem with the 'Can You Cook?' Debate

Check out the rest of the ways you and your mate belong together over HERE AT MSN LIFESTYLE.

SBM Fam: How do you know you selected a dope mate?



  1. I don’t like the first 2. They seem like dysfunction that they tolerate in one another. Th s it’s not an indicator that someone is perfect fir u, that’s an indicator that you’re picking your battles. I personally don’t like reading in between the lines with someone. And if I have to, I call them out on it. And sometimes opposite insecurities can cause more tension and conflict. She just sounds like she’s rationalizing her own situation rather than making a general rule t o follow.

  2. These aren’t nuances, these are clearly major incompatible traits that the individuals have chosen to tolerate. Relationships are indeed work, but these items seem more like ‘work arounds’ to their incompatibilities. And based on the author’s own explanation, they require thought and actual conscious effort to make it work.

    Granted, there will always be traits about the person you’re dealing with that you wish were a little more/little less xyz, but what the author is talking about sounds more like a science project. Forcing a square peg into a round hole.

    My philosophy is this: In a ‘successful’ compatible relationship there will be typically 1-2 things about your mate physically and 1-2 things about their personality that you wish were different. Usually those incompatibilities pale in comparison to the other outstanding qualities the individual possesses and over time you may even learn to love those ‘flaws’. But if you have to consciously and continuously work around incompatibilities to tolerate your mate, then perhaps you’re just not compatible.

    But to each his own. Whatever works for them and brings them closer together. Some people like work.

    My Recent Post: “Sorry Ladies, Momma’s Always Right: Are You Dating A Mama’s boy”?

    Mr. SoBo

  3. I don’t think the list is horrible at all…they seem like a normal couple. #3 is def the best of the bunch though. I’d include it in my list along with:

    – fairly quick recovery from disagreements
    – you actually resolve problems
    – you can enjoy comfortable silence together
    – you fall into a comfortable life flow where you’re both helping to move the business of your lives along…taking care of agreed upon responsibilites…backfilling each other when necessary
    – you can anticipate each others responses/preferences/etc. and plan/act accordingly
    – 90% of your time together are filled with peaceful, content, happy moments

  4. “But if you have to consciously and continuously work around incompatibilities to tolerate your mate, then perhaps you’re just not compatible.” Exactly Mr. SoBo. This is why I don’t think relationships should “feel” like work. I think number 7 is probably the best, and most reasonable benchmark. Total acceptance & non-judgement is a beautiful thing 🙂 *smile*


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