My friend Leeder and I were discussing the benefits of going out alone and it started to become apparent that some of these points needed to be shared with a few of you cats, who can’t seem to detach from the bros. Real men can go out alone confidently, if you have never done so, here is Should I Go Out Alone?: 5 Reasons Men Should Go Out Solo:
It Sets You Apart
It’s rare to see people enjoy nightlife or bars solo these days. Most of the time all you see is a pack of guys on the prowl. You want to set yourself apart from the pack, then be a lone wolf. Call your own shots and don’t always look to bring tag-alongs with you to enjoy your night on the town. Show women that you’re cut from a different clothe.
You Look Super Confident When Approaching a Group of Women
You know what looks hella corny, when a group of men huddle in a club the entire night not approaching any of the women that want attention and conversation. What’s more confident than a single man walking up to a group of women and conversing, making them laugh, and just enjoying their company? If you don’t know what to talk about… talk about the atmosphere, current events, compliment them, or ask them what brings them out tonight. If they’re not biting, no hard feelings. You don’t want a forced situation, you want to vibe with people that make it feel natural.
It Forces You to Be Social with New People
When you go out with friends, you usually don’t make new friends, because you stay in your comfort zone. Ditch your crew and put yourself out there. When you go out solo, since it’s such a rare sight women will want to know what you’re doing out alone. Make yourself the commodity, be interesting and form bonds with a new group. Also don’t be afraid to socialize with the other guys they might have information that can be used for the next spot or the next night. They might even be with a group of women that are tired of seeing the same faces and you can pluck a few grapes off the vine- accept the role of the new guy. Everyone loves the new guy, even if they don’t the new guy always causes intrigue.
Nature is Your Best Wingman
What I mean by this is when you want sex, like really really want sex, nature overrides the fear of rejection. There is no better wingman than good old fashion testosterone. You see something you want and you’ve had a few drinks you go for it. Nothings greater than you in that moment, you only deserve the things that you try to reach out and grab. I know you’re use to getting food that has already been caught, killed, and cooked for you, but pull from your ancestors you use to be a hunter, a gatherer, you use to be the king of your domain. You’re an ALPHA MALE- act like one!
It Increases Your Chances of Having a Threesome
Who doesn’t like threesomes? So say you meet two women with your best bro, you’re already trying to figure out who is going to latch on to who. But when you’re solo and you meet two women there’s no need to split the earnings. Entertain both of them and keep your decision of who you want ambiguous. If they are close friends they might not be down for it, but if they are mere acquaintances your chances have just skyrocketed for a menage. In order to be selfish, sometimes you have to actually go out and conquer solo.
I’ve done it. Often. It was the most terrifying experience of my life, but once I got over the initial awkwardness and fear of rejection, I actually prefer it. All of the above points are spot on.
I’m gonna try it
Can’t co-sign this one. While I admit that there’s nothing lamer than a dude in a lounge hanging with his boys complaining about how hard it is to meet women while actual women are sprinkled in the crowd, my worst nights have been out alone. 1) I’m not the most charismatic, intuitive person in the presence of strangers 2) I hear so many women say that they actively avoid dudes who are out alone looking like their sole purpose is to pull (solitude=creepy) as opposed to have fun and just enjoy being there (easier to do with friends). So it can set you apart in a bad way. When I was out there like that, I found workarounds for those issues. Glad those days are over.
I admit that it is lame for a group of guys to huddle in a corner but personally I think its really creepy to see a guy alone in a club. It makes me think two things 1) Do you have any friends? 2) You are definitely here on the prowl because what other reason would you be here? You surely didn’t come to meet new guy friends. Idk it just gives off the vibe of desperation to me. Don’t have your closest 30 pals with you but having 1 or 2 friends shows me that you came here to chill and enjoy a night out with your boys. If you happen to meet someone great but that wasn’t your only reason for going out.
Disagree. Why cant that be a mans or womans sole reason for going out? People are so insecure these days that you cant dare but to not be sucking your girls tatas or rubbing balls with your homeboys. Im sorry, but I sure as hell aint in the club to be staring at other bougie women all night. Going out solo is not creepy. I am very turned off by people who cant seem to operate move or enjoy life without having their friends “off” on evrrything before thry do it. Do you ask your friends for permissions to breathe too? The demeanor, approach , and what comes out of your mouth determines the creep factor. Not you being a confident person who can enjoy themselves in any situation. How confident is that?! I dont want your whole crew. I want you. Please continue to approach because women who actually like men enjoy it. It makes group pressures less awkward as well. But dont try to game no menages cause this martini will be all up on that ralph laurensuede blazer! Dont play!
I don’t think that going out alone makes you a confident person. Just like going out with your friends doesn’t make you unconfident. Going out alone doesn’t make you a leader… a loner maybe but def not a leader. It is perfectly fine if you like it when a man goes out solo and approaches you. This is MY opinion so there really isn’t any reason for you to be rude or imply that im sitting around watching for colored girls or that my attitude is the reason men are quote on quote checkin for kellys. In my personal experience men that are in the club by themselves have been a little weird. If your at a bar watching a game that’s different but a club sorry it’s weird. You come to a place by yourself that is playing loud music in which you can’t even carry on a conversation and I’m supposed to think that means he is serious about getting to know me? No I don’t think so.
I want the man to approach me solo don’t approach me with the group but having friends come have a drink with you doesn’t make you weak, unconfident, or attached to your boys. It just simply means you didn’t come here just to get on every chick that passed you by. We are at the club not the library and not the bathroom. So yes your free for others to join you
No ones being rude. Did you miss all the “lols.?” Your opinion was very judgemental. So I wanted to make it clear that not all Women are so. You can’t call another person a creep because of “their” solo body itself. Who does that? If you think that “you” going out alone is creepy or lonely then fine. You may just be a person who needs 24/7 bumble bees. But I disapprove of people who place their closed minded judgements on others. And don’t be taken aback by my ardor, there are Women who assert strong opinions and express their voice. Feel free to do the same. I just don’t like bias.
I will never be disrespectful though.Take care! 🙂
Hey Beauty In Truth and Ash,
I personally would love to live in a world where whether you were with your boys or not doesn’t matter. Where whether or not he talks to other women there doesn’t matter. Where how anxious he is or isn’t in his approach doesn’t matter. But, many people, like it or not, are very attached to how the meeting moment has to look. And lest we forget, this culture has a strong love/hate relationship with “the Club” as a meeting place. ” You come to a place by yourself that is playing loud music in which you can’t even carry on a conversation and I’m supposed to think that means he is serious about getting to know me?” People always say these are the worst places to find somebody for a “real” relationship, but where are most single people on the weekend? Anyway, I do appreciate seeing you both go back and forth on this; It’s a reminder that there ain’t one “right way” and people are just different in what they prefer…and you can’t know from just looking.
I’m a young woman and these same things are also true for me. It’s nice to see that men and women are alike in some ways.
Met two guys within two days. One night stands. Any guys wanna comment on their feelings about one night stands?
I’ma single guy in my 40s and its very hard to meet single women when i go out in pubs on my own. When I was younger I got one night stands and met my ex girlfriend in a nightclub.
But as you get older it gets harder in my opinion to meet women, no matter how confident you are.