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The Only Four Things That Matter in the NBA Finals So Far


Portland Trail Blazers v San Antonio Spurs - Game Five

With two games in the books, the NBA Finals have lived up to the hype so far. There have been enough great plays, drama, and memes for an entire series.

Here’s what has stuck out to me so far:

What the hell is wrong with San Antonio’s arena? –

First, Manu Ginobili had to kill a bat with his bare hands. HIS BARE HANDS!

Then, there was a damn rattlesnake in the visiting team’s locker room.

A while ago, there was a fly infestation pregame.

Now this: a faulty air conditioning system that had the in-arena temperature around 90 degrees.

Of course this was a feast for those NBA Conspiracy Theorists. If that is you (and I know I’ve told you this before), please, have another seat.

There’s no way the Spurs orchestrated the AC malfunction in Game 1. It sucks for everybody (except Spurs fans) that LeBron James had to miss the end of the game. No Finals should be decided without the best player involved. But to consider it anything but a lucky break is insane.

And you aren’t insane…right?

Seriously, why is no one in the NBA hairy?

Miami Heat v San Antonio Spurs - Game 5

Look above. Eight arms. Two Europeans. Not one arm hair. WTF?!

This is something you pick up on while watching games with your wife. But she’s right, is there some kind of grand waxing conspiracy in the league or what? Is Veet in the Illuminati?

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In the years before the Based God blessed us with HD television, I would have written this off. But now, I demand answers.

I’m starting to this this is the reason I’m not in the NBA. Not my lack of height, skill, or practice…no, no it’s clearly the fact that I do have arm hair. Why was I cursed with these hairy ass genes?!?

But seriously, why do none of these guys have a stray arm hair. That’s weird.

LeBron James: Very Good at Basketball. –

Of course I knew this already. But watching James bounce back from CrampGate was fun. He got whatever he wanted on Sunday.

He was so good that Sage Steele wondered aloud whether Kawhi Leonard had regressed this season. Remember when Leonard was the next breakout star, set to be the face of the Spurs after Duncan retires?

Yeah. About that.

He’s been another guy this series. He’s working his ass off on defense, which has surely affected his offense. That would be fine if LeBron James wasn’t averaging 30 points.

This brings up another observation…

Why don’t the Spurs get crushed when they lose? –

LeBron James gets a cramp, has to leave the game, and he’s a coward.

The Spurs miss four late free throws, lose by two, and it’s hardly mentioned.

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For all the Spurs’ successes over the past 15 years, they have failed in the playoffs more often than not. They are, of course, a great team, but they seem to get a pass when things don’t go their way. Even when it’s a crucial missed layup in Game 7 (last year), or four consecutive missed free throws in a tight game (on Sunday).

I’m the guy who defended Tony Romo, so I don’t think the media and fans should crush the Spurs for every mistake. But it’s really weird that it hasn’t happened. As quickly as this meme popped up about James:


We could have had one for Tony Parker writing on the ground, or Tim Duncan after clanging two big free throws.

Y’all have done an amazing job clowning Duncan’s wardrobe and haircut over the years. Props for that.

That’s what I noticed through two games in San Antonio. What about you? What have you seen that’s ridiculous, or potential series shifting? Have you seen anything that has changed your prediction at all?

Hit the comments and let me know!


  1. 1. Miami gonna regret giving D Wade that Kobe deal
    2. LeBron literally did the same play he did in Game 5 last series and now no one has an issue
    3. All this Kawhi is the heir to the throne sounds like “Bleek is one hit away”
    4. Ray Allen can retire with 3 rings and get $30M to coach the Cavs
    5. Patty Mills really thinks he’s the best player on the court

    1. As usual we are in agreement, especially about #4 and #6.
      And of course, the inimitable Pat Riley continues his tradition of excellence.

  2. “I’d like to see Lebron play poorly” – Popovich… Yeah i know Pop that’s the only way you have a chance to win…

    The Spurs won’t get crushed because it’s not a team you gossip about, the players seem like nice dudes… It’s not like “cocky-egocentric-arrogant” Kobe, Lebron “the decider”, “i get another woman pregnant while im on relationship break” Wade (lol)… It’s the attitude!

  3. Prediction hasn’t changed. Spurs have to stop beating themselves w/ these silly mistakes though. Turnovers, missed FTs, like cmon son. Danny Green is lost once he puts the ball on the floor. I don’t understand that about him.

    “The Spurs miss four late free throws, lose by two, and it’s hardly mentioned.” Two words – Extra. Pass. The Spurs are always able to compensate for their mess-ups by timely offensive sequences.

    Kawhi has to be more aggressive offensively these next 2 games. He’s shooting 48% for the postseason, but has been quiet so far. When Leonard shoots a lot (and the shots are falling), Spurs are a different beast.

  4. The Spurs have a great chance as long as they limit turnovers as far as I can see it. Bron can get his, all the other players in Miami can be inconsistent. Even Wade is missing from time to time. I think it’s a very even series.

  5. “Why don’t the Spurs get crushed when they lose?”

    Because they are the great boring team. They are the epitome of well oiled machine. If they lose you can usually point to one or two factors. Turnovers should have cost them game 1. Any other team would have lost with 20+ turnovers. They have “lesser” superstars. No one will be in the spot light and that’s part of why they have been great for so long. Yes Duncan has been there forever but he is the Peyton Manning of the NBA. Insanely smart and great player but has the personality of a pet rock.


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