Listen, not every relationship is perfect. Each relationship is its own relationship in its own right. Every relationship doesn’t have a title (sometimes titles are the precursor to the end) and not every relationship makes sense to everyone else (everyone in your business is typically the precursor to the end). Despite all of that, I’m sure that things are confusing to both parties involved. Many of us think that men lack the ability to pick up on hints but we neglect that at times women are just wondering, “What does he mean?” I believe women do this to protect themselves and figure out where to do. They want to know the signs that the situation is headed in the right direction. It’s not easy to decipher but there are some simple signs that the relationship is going in the right direction.
- He breaks the rules – There are a ton of unspoken rules about relationships and dating. Whether it’s how soon to call after the first date or not seeing each other two consecutive days when he starts breaking those rules it’s a sign that you’re headed in the right direction.
- His sex is emotional – C’mon you guys know exactly what I’m talking about. There are times when you know that the sex is just that… sex. There are other times when you can tell there is an emotional connection there and it’s not just spontaneous carnal expressions.
- He pays close attention – When men are really interested in a woman they pay attention and not just paying attention on the surface but on a deeper level. You’d be surprised how much a man can digest in a conversation. It’s not when a man knows the brand of your clothes and thinks it looks nice. It’s when he notices that you have a preference and he makes sure that your preferences are handled before you have to ask.
- He doesn’t like saying no – When men don’t care, they don’t mind giving you rejection. Even when a man tries his best to firm (which men should always have a reputation for doing) he finds it hard to bend in and say “no.” If you notice this is going on, it’s a sign that things are headed in the right direction.
- He talks about you with his loved ones – When I say, loved ones, I don’t mean just family. Everybody’s situation is different and he may not be ready to bring his family into it. However, the decision makers in his life will know about your presence. Don’t get too excited, it may be just him vetting the prospect of you with them BUT it means it’s headed in the right direction.
- He’s not pushy – Men who are interested in things going far are willing to work with you and insert compromise before it’s required. He’s not pushing you to do anything or placing you in a box he doesn’t want you to get out. He’s patient, communicative and all these things are sure tell signs that it’s going somewhere.
- He talks the future – Mr. Right and Mr. Right Now are separated by the future. One of these guys is talking about the here and now and the other is talking about his goals and aspirations. Even if he’s not talking about marriage, if he’s talking about things to come and you’re a part of that it’s a good sign.
Let me be sure to tell you that signs are not facts, they are signs. What I mean by that is that if you are taking these 7 signs and telling yourself that he’s in love with you, it may put you at risk. What I’m saying is that these are the symptoms that guys display when they’re really interested. This is something that you can hang your hat on and assume that it’s a nice gesture before you think he’s just trying to get in your pants. I didn’t say “he spends money on you” because a lot of people think that matters but it really doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter if he takes you out on a date and doesn’t split the tab, it matters how many layers he’s willing to share with you.
This is pretty much on point, though if/when you Take away #3 and 5 and this list would be interpreted a whole different way at times………
I enjoyed reading this post. I don’t believe in perfection at all. My take is we will all have experiences that help mold us into the individual we’re supposed to be. Each experience brings a lesson and we must pay attention and receive the proper message, and move on. Clarity should awaken prior to moving into the next. Deciphering what works, what doesn’t, and how certain aspects or traits benefit you personal should present itself within clarity. Dating the same person over and over with the same results is the equivalent of not learning. It’s OK for a relationship to fail but we often get in the way and create a mental image that the relationship is perfect even when it isn’t healthy. Signs are great but could be way too confusing to the weak minded and immature so your attempt to explain may still get lost on them, but I enjoyed it.
This is a very solid list of signs. Great job Dr. J!
I think another one is when he starts introducing you as his woman, and not just your name or referring to you as his friend.
every guy I’ve come across, don’t mind telling their women “no”. They live by it…Im confused with that one!
One thing I know from experience, when you’re ready to be in love with someone, you break all those conventional rules we make for ourselves. All the things we tell ourselves and our boys/girls we won’t do, we do because love is a spirit, a force of nature, and it cannot be quantified or formulated, when it hits you it hits you. The signs are good indicators, but in the end pure, unadulterated love supersedes any guidelines we can come up with.
Without DR DAHIRU a lot of people would have been dead through heart break. My case is not different from heart break, I am married woman with 3 kids and there was a time when i was having problem with my husband because he was having an affair outside our marriage and this was making me feel bad. So i tried finding solution to my problem by reading a lot of relationship tips on the internet and that was how i came in contact with DR DAHIRU contact details and through the help of DR DAHIRU my husband left the girl he was having affair with and he came back to me and our kids. After a job well done by DR DAHIRU i felt that it will be unfair if i keep this secret to myself and that is why i am going to drop the contact details of DR DAHIRU right now, They are: firstname.lastname@example.org or add him on facebook (Arewa Dahiru) To enable you have a taste of his nice work
I like #7 the most, and I’m not talking about the guy who includes you in his future by saying “If you act right maybe you’ll be around” But the ones who naturally change I to WE. #3 is also one on my list, I like the man who knows how to listen and hear me. I love men who are mentally invested in my future goals as if they’re his own and when speaking about them he is 100% on board. I really appreciate this post especially knowing that every relationship does not have a title, because truth be told titles are not needed and I’m living proof of that right now. And I feel comfortable enough in saying that all of the above has been or is being done right now….but what happens next? If all of this is being done and more and there is no title, still considered to be just dating what happens next? (that’s a whole other topic I suppose)
I think the problem is that everyone is trying to find someone just a little bit out of their league – or at least at the very max of their own league – and rightly so.
Women find this more difficult because they are biologically programmed to pick the best they can, and they can sleep with hot guys who aren’t actually interested. The women who fail to recognize this and overcome their natural hypergamy are the ones who remain single – the longer it takes them to realize it, the more they have to compromise.
I agree with you that dating is “just this fun, relaxed thing that you do with anyone you think is cool”. It’s almost impossible to do well in dating if you’re not having fun.
What about the male side. If a man tries to go for a woman that’s out of his league, what happens? Nothing. He gets shot down. The woman might caught up in the allure of the attention from the higher-value man and sleep with him.
If the male get’s attention from the under-his-league woman, he may well decide to run with it for a short period to get some sex and then move on.
So, men are less likely than women to go for someone out of their league because they will be shot down much sooner and more often than women will be.
Using this as a basis it makes sense that in order for men to have sex with lots of women they will have to “date down” a league – he will then commit when he meets the best he possibly can, i.e. someone in his league. As Hans Solo explained it’s easy for men to know their level because women above them level reject them.
Using the same evolutionary basis, women aim as high as they can and then try and get the best one they can to commit. It’s hard for women to know their league because guys above her will still date her for sex, but not consider her for commitment.
Basically women can “date up” but they have to “marry down,” and men will “date down” but will only “marry up”. Men realize this from a young age because to get sex we have to drop our standards. It often takes women a lot longer to realize that in order to get married she will eventually have to “marry down” (settle) or stay single. The longer she waits, the older she gets and the more she will have to compromise.
That’s why women find dating so difficult.