I believe that the secret to happiness is looking within. I received some advice from an old friend once that said, “You can’t ask anyone to love you if you don’t love yourself.” For a while, I tried to answer questions about why I couldn’t find something that clicked with me. I found that I didn’t love myself. So I did something that a lot of people don’t do. I was alone for a while and worked on learning to love myself. When I came out of my relationship recluse I felt anew and I felt that I was ready. I realized that with or without someone else things would be just fine.
In that time that I spent searching for love in myself I learned to ask myself five questions.
- What do you want? – Ask yourself, what do you really want? Stop worrying about what everyone else wants for you, stop worrying about what would look best for you, just focus on what you want.
- Are you willing to ask for it? – Humility is key. The meek shall inherit the earth but it starts with realizing that you need to ask for what you want. Then after you ask for it, you have to stand firm in your inquiry. Don’t shy away from asking a tough question to your potential mate and be willing to risk it all if they won’t give it to you.
- Are you willing to earn it? – There are no handouts in the game of love and war. Everything worth having is earned. You have to dedicate yourself to day in and out put in the work to earn what you want. If you want a good person then you have to be a good person yourself.
- Do you deserve it? – Do we know our worth? A lot of us think that we do but we have to ask ourselves what we deserve. Everyone tells themselves they deserve the best but that’s a broad stroke. We have to position ourselves to be in a position where we are ready to receive everything that is for us. At times, we don’t deserve it and we have work to do.
- What are you willing to sacrifice? – Anyone who knows me knows that I absolutely abhor compromise because it compromises us. Sacrifice is not compromise, it’s simply giving it up. How can you get out of the way of yourself? At times, the answer is sacrifice. Giving up what may seem so precious to us is key to accepting what others have to give.
These are the questions I asked myself. I wonder what would happen if we all spent more time in self-examination instead of searching for the answers from everyone else. The answers to our happiness are clearly within. If you are happy with yourself then you don’t look for someone else to make you happy, you just live it.